Thoughts raced through her mind, and she couldn’t slow it, even if she wanted to try to piece through the possibilities. All that mattered was that her father was here—and that he had never come for her.
“What happened to you?” she demanded.
It was all she could say. As much as she might want to run to him and wrap her arms around him, feel the warmth and familiarity of her father, she wouldn’t allow herself to do it, not until she knew.
“You saw what happened.”
Carth shook her head. “I saw what I thought happened. Mother was killed. I thought the A’ras took her.”
“They did not.”
“I know they didn’t. Now. But I spent months blaming them.”
“You know what really happened.”
Carth squeezed her eyes shut as the image of her mother lying on the stones, not moving, raced to the front of her mind. It was a memory that haunted her at times, often keeping her awake long after she should have been asleep. “I know what happened to her. What happened to you?” She opened her eyes and fixed him with an accusatory expression.
He didn’t shrink away from it. “The Hjan attempted to capture me. I was rescued by others.”
“What others?”
“The Reshian.”
That surprised her. After seeing her father now alive, she hadn’t thought she could be surprised again, but she was.
She had thought the Reshian wanted to work with her, that they recognized in her the same connection to the shadows. Was that not why they searched for her? “Why didn’t you find me sooner?”
“Carthenne,” he started, stepping into the room.
She raised a hand and he stopped. “Don’t. I deserve answers. You taught me about the shadows, but you never taught me! Why did I have to learn after you were gone? Why did I have to suffer—”
“You never really suffered. I saw to that.”
She closed her eyes. “You saw to that, which meant you could have revealed yourself as alive at any time. Why hide from me?”
That he hadn’t come for her sooner might hurt more than anything.
“Your mother wanted you in Nyaesh. The journey was dangerous, but she felt strongly that it needed to happen. I couldn’t dissuade her, and when you started flashing tendencies—”
“What tendencies?”
“The kind that told me you would be strong. The blood of Ih flows through your veins, Carthenne, but so does that of Lashasn.”
Carth opened her mouth to respond, but stopped. “I’m from Ih-lash,” she said. “Of course it does.”
He shook his head. “The people may have united, but the old bloodlines never did. There has always been those of Ih and those of Lashasn.”
“Then why did you bring me to Nyaesh?”
He glanced over his shoulder and sighed. “We don’t have much time, but I’ll share what I can, but to understand, you have to know the history of Ih-lash.”
“I’ve heard the history. I know how Ih and Lashasn were unified.”
Her father smiled. “Someone shared with you the story of Carthenne?”
She nodded.
“A shame it could not have been your mother. It was her idea to name you after her. She thought that you could bring true unity.”
“But Ih-lash was unified, at least until it was destroyed!”
“Unified in name, but not in spirit. Lashasn has always possessed a power that countered that of Ih, but when Carthenne created a peace—a lasting peace—those of true Lashasn blood dispersed, settling farther south, where they could use the magic of the fire that burned in them without fear that those of Ih would intervene.”
Carth’s heart started to flutter and resisted any effort she made to slow it.
“You mean the A’ras?”
He nodded. “Your mother is descended from Lashasn, and I from Ih. We were never to marry, but…” He shook his head. “What choice did I have when I met her? She was always so radiant, practically glowing… I couldn’t help myself.”
Tears formed in Carth’s eyes as she thought about her mother. She remembered her much the same way, always so caring, using what she knew of herbs and plants for healing.
“But the A’ras use magic that’s different than what I’ve seen of Lashasn.”
“Only because few who remain in Nyaesh can truly reach that power. Some can. Most use a reflection, the barest echo of the pure ability. Your mother thought you could touch it more deeply, which was why she wanted you trained in the only place she knew.”
Carth thought about everything that had happened to her in the time since she’d lost her parents. Had it all been because of a centuries-old feud?
“What do the Hjan have to do with any of it? They wanted to use the A’ras to attack the Reshian.”
“I think the Hjan offered the A’ras something they did not believe possible. There are few enough within the A’ras who remember that they are descended from Lashasn, but of those who do, many would like to return Lashasn to what it had been. When the Hjan destroyed Ih-lash…” He shrugged.
“Why? Why did they destroy Ih-lash?”
“Too many of the shadow blessed remain, Carthenne. The Hjan do not understand that power, and cannot access it. They would rather destroy those with that power than risk having to face them.”
It was the same thing Jhon had told her, which made her wonder if he had been working with the Reshian the entire time. “And now you’re with the Reshian?”
He smiled warmly, a smile she had almost forgotten. “They saved me, Carth. Which was why I wanted you brought to me.”
“Why couldn’t you find me before? Why did you abandon me?”
Her father crossed the distance between them and placed his hands on her shoulders. She remembered the strength of his grip, but she had grown since she’d last seen him.
Using strength augmented by the shadows, she jerked herself free.
He studied her a moment. “Not abandoned, Carthenne. Never abandoned. It might have felt like you were alone, but I was always there, watching you.”
Carth closed her eyes. “Watching, but not intervening. Like the time when the A’ras thought to confine me. Had I not managed to get free, what would the Hjan have done? Or when Ras captured me—what would have happened had he never released me?”
“There is only so much I can do with the Hjan. When you escaped in Nyaesh, I had Jhon bring you from the city. It was time for you to learn from the Reshian, to continue your education.”
“My education? There was never any continuation of my education! I was abducted in Odian.”
“You should not have left the ship in Odian. It is a dangerous place.” He stepped back from her, watching her. “You’re back now. That’s all that matters. Now we can see you trained as you should be.”
There was more she was missing. Why was the captain here? Why had the Levelan traveled to Wesjan? What did the Hjan have to do with it?
More than that, how had she been used?
If Jhon worked on her father’s behalf—and she had to believe that possible—then it meant he had kept things from her. All this time she’d been used by others. First by the A’ras and now the Reshian.
“You could be one of us, Carthenne. That is what I want for you. A shadow born… you can help the Reshian find true peace, no longer fearing for the next A’ras attack. It’s the reason I allowed you to receive the training you did. Your mother… she wanted it so that you would know your talents, but I saw from the beginning that you had more capabilities than you let on. There’s so much more for you to know—”
Carth turned away from him. She’d thought that her father had trained her so that she could use her shadow abilities, that his games had somehow equipped her for them, but it seemed that wasn’t entirely the case. The games hadn’t ended when he’d disappeared—they’d only begun a different one, a game where there was more at risk.
“What do the Hjan have to do with any of this?” she asked.
“The Hjan destroyed Ih-lash. When they attacked the A’ras, we thought we could pin them between both sides, but—”
“But the Hjan convinced the A’ras to attack the Reshian.”
He sighed, nodding. “Since Ih-lash was destroyed, we’ve watched the Hjan for years. We will find a way to stop them. That’s why we’re here.”
“And I have faced them for years.” She thought back to the way Jhon had observed rather than gotten himself involved, and suddenly understood why he waited to take her from the north after the A’ras attack. “I returned here for a reason. I intend to stop them,” she said to her father.
“Carth—”
She shook her head, thinking of what she detected from the A’ras. “Why are you here? Why the A’ras?”
“There will be peace, Carthenne. Real peace between the Reshian and the A’ras. Ih and Lashasn can stop warring. That’s why I’m here.”
“How?”
“Join the Reshian,” he said. “Then I’ll tell you.”
“You don’t trust me?”
Her father met her eyes. “You’ve studied too long with the A’ras, Carthenne. I don’t know—”
“You would have, had you come for me sooner. You could have known,” she said.
“Carth—”
“I intend to stop the Hjan. They’re here. Probably for the same reason as the Reshian. When I find out, you’ll see what the blood of Ih and of Lashasn will do when angry.”
28
Night had fallen by the time she returned to the dock. She saw no sign of Dara, nor of Guya. She’d spent much of the evening searching for both, but had found neither. That troubled her, but not as much as discovering that her father still lived, as well as what that meant. The small dinghy remained, telling her that Guya was still somewhere in the city, perhaps looking for her and Dara. The other girl had likely gone after those of Lashasn, though Carth should have probed more to understand where they might be.
She still couldn’t believe her father lived. All these years she’d believed him gone, only for him to show up in Wesjan of all places. How much suffering had she endured, and how much could she have been spared had he only come sooner?
Putting aside the emotional aspect of his reveal was difficult, but necessary. There would be a reason the Reshian were here. And she’d detected the A’ras. Could it mean open war?
That would explain why the Hjan would have come. They could defeat both sides and secure the north unopposed.
Why here?
More than that, her father revealing himself meant that she could impede what they planned. Why else show himself now, and not long ago?
Carth started thinking through all the things she knew. Wesjan had become the epicenter of whatever was about to take place. Powers seemed to converge here, not only the Hjan, her reason for coming, but the abducted girls, those of Lashasn and Reshian, and even those of A’ras, if what she’d detected was any indication.
Yet, open war didn’t fit with what she’d seen of how the Hjan operated. They preferred moving in the background—she’d consider it the shadows, but they seemed to avoid the shadows—and orchestrating events, things like the A’ras fighting the Reshian, creating friction that would not have existed otherwise.
A worried thought came to her.
What if this had all been coordinated by the Hjan?
Not her involvement. It was possible—especially as she had seen the way they despised those with her abilities—but she doubted the Hjan would have wanted her here. The rest of it, having everyone else coming to Wesjan, was that part of some plan of theirs?
Stopping where she stood and dropping to the ground in the middle of the street, Carth started placing the pieces together, drawing a simple board on the ground to help her understand. She placed herself into the Hjan’s viewpoint, using the intent of both collection of power, and destruction of those with it.
Had she not played with Ras, and had she not had the opportunity to practice with him, she would have struggled getting into that perspective. As soon as she did, she started moving the pieces together.
Everything began to make a terrible sort of sense.
The only problem was that she needed more information.
Carth looked up and scanned the port. The Levelan remained there in the distance, anchored in the darkness. She’d seen the captain, but now she had to find out who else might remain on board.
She made her way to the dinghy they’d used to row in from the stolen ship. The dock man there glanced at her and started to move so that he could stop her when she dropped into the boat, but she ignored him, quickly slicing through the ropes with her knife and pushing the boat away. Using the shadows, she made her way through the water and toward the Levelan.
Carth maintained the connection to the shadows as she did, concealing herself until she reached the hull of the wide ship. She circled around it, looking for a rope, until she came upon the figurehead at the bow. Using this, she climbed quickly aboard.
On the deck, she hesitated. It had been a long time since she’d been on the ship. At that time, she’d trusted that Jhon wanted to help her, but now she no longer was certain that he did. The others here should have wanted to help her as well, and she had thought they had, but wasn’t sure about that now either.
How much had she believed that was false?
Was either Adam or Tessa on board?
That was the reason she’d come. She needed to find them, to see if they might know something that could help her.
Carth made her way toward the stairs and down. She checked each of the doors along the hall but found nothing.
The last door led to the room she’d shared with Jhon. When she pushed it open, a lantern glowed with a soft light. Jhon sat up.
Carth released the hold on her shadows.
“Carthenne,” he said.
“No. Don’t.”
“We’ve been searching for you.”
“By we, you mean my father. You knew he lived, that he was Reshian, and didn’t tell me.”
Jhon’s breath caught. She had wondered how he’d respond, and that was proof enough. “You saw him. So he is here.”
Carth frowned. “You didn’t know?”
He shook his head. “We were taking you to meet him. He had asked you to be brought to him. When we lost you—”
“When Ras abducted me, you mean.”
Jhon sat on the edge of the bed. He rubbed his eyes but said nothing.
A part of her had wondered if Jhon and her father had used her to draw Ras out. That would have been the final betrayal. Her father hadn’t shared anything more with her, so it still might be.
“How long have you known my father lived?” When he still didn’t answer, Carth took a step toward him and raised her voice. “How long?”
He sighed. “Long enough that you should have been told. It was not my choice to keep that from you.”
“Was it his?” That might hurt more than anything else. Why wouldn’t her father have wanted to come for her?
“You don’t understand these things, Carth. There was a need for secrecy, especially with what they’ve been dealing with regarding the Hjan.”
“And you’re here to stop the Hjan?”
“The Hjan? They weren’t supposed to be here. The Reshian came here to make a bargain.”
Carth hadn’t expected that. If it was true, why wouldn’t her father have told her?
“What kind of bargain?”
“The Hjan continue to attack both the Reshian and the A’ras. Both sides have agreed to a bargain to protect themselves from the attacks. That’s why we’re here.”
“And Ras?” He stared at her, not answering. She bent down, meeting his eyes. “You knew of him. Just as you knew of the Reshian when we first met.”
He nodded. “I knew of him. All who know of Lashasn know of Ras. He’s key to making this work, which is why I’ve been trying to broker a truce.”
She grunted. “That’s why we were in Odia
n.” His lack of answer was all she needed. “Was I a part of it?”
“You have Lashasn blood, Carthenne. Ras would see that.”
“Why?”
“The true heirs to Lashasn were key to any truce. But you weren’t to be involved. I tried warning you to stay on the ship. Leaving was dangerous, but we had no choice. Odian is the only place to stop for leagues.”
Carth took a step back. She had been used by everyone, played like some game piece. She really was the Stone. “What are you doing here, then? If the Reshian and the A’ras seek a bargain, why are you still on the ship?”
He didn’t answer.
“Jhon? Why are you still here?”
Carth didn’t think any others were still on board. She hadn’t seen them when she’d come on board and doubted they were here. And if they weren’t, but Jhon was…
She didn’t understand, but she didn’t like that she didn’t understand the way this was playing out.
“This agreement. What is it?” she asked.
“I’m not Reshian, Carth. I don’t know.”
She had to find the answer. It was tied to the reason the Hjan were here, and she couldn’t leave them to attack, not when both the Reshian and the A’ras might be here. She’d seen how deadly they were. There wasn’t anyone really able to stop them… other than her.
Carth started to turn away when she remembered the books of her mother’s. They remained under her pillow as before, and she slipped them into her pocket. Her father might be alive, but that didn’t change the fact that she had so little of her mother remaining. Only these books, and the ring she wore on her necklace.
“Where are you going?”
Carth paused at the door. “The Hjan are here. Whatever bargain might be struck is in danger. I’m going to ensure the Hjan don’t interfere.”
As she climbed up the stairs and onto the deck of the ship, Jhon followed her. “This is a chance for peace, Carthenne. If the Hjan have come, that will fail.”
She didn’t turn. “Does it matter?”
“I told you about your namesake. She tried ending the war, but there was too much between the two peoples to stop it. Those of Ih—”
Shadow Born (The Shadow Accords Book 3) Page 19