by J. N. Pack
I start to ask a question, but my throat is raw, and I have to try several times to get my voice to work, “Where are we?”
Caelan still hasn’t said anything and I’m afraid he’s pissed at me again. Mannex announces over his shoulder, “Our mom’s house. We stay here sometimes have parties here sometimes.”
I nod and lower my head looking at the food like it might bite me. I pick up the fork and lift a bit of food to my mouth. I know they’re angry, but I’m in no hurry for them to explode on me. It comes from the person I least expected it to come from.
Tanner growls, “I’m not going to baby you. I’m not going to treat you like you might break. What the fuck were you thinking last night?”
I can’t respond, I don’t know what to say so I lower my eyes to my hands and fiddle with the rough edges of my cast.
“Those guys last night would have fucked you… Raped you and left you broken. You’d have been able to do absolutely nothing about it.” He yells at me.
Feeling defeated and unable to raise my head, “I need to get home. Can someone take me, or do I need to walk?” I glance around, my eyes finally coming back around to Caelan. Unable to look him in the eyes, I just stand there waiting for him to say something. “Yeah. I’ll give you a ride. Let me get my keys.”
He walks up the stairs and I stand by the kitchen doorway waiting with eyes burning into me. I don’t know what to say or how to feel. My body is trembling all over. When Caelan gets to the doorway, I glance over my shoulder where Tanner stands with Meggie, “You can’t break someone who’s already broken.”
I catch the frowns on everyone’s face as I follow Caelan out of the house. He’s quiet on the ride to the dorms, but when the car comes to a stop and I start to climb out he takes my hand pulling me to a stop, “I don’t hate you Piper. I hope you know nothing you could ever do or have ever done could make me hate you. I tried. I did everything I could to hate you when you got back here.” He gazes past me before dropping his eyes back to mine, “But I couldn’t. I’m done pretending I can. I’m not going anywhere. You aren’t broken Pip, you just aren’t whole anymore, but you can be again.”
My eyes drop to our fingers entangled together and when I look back up, we lean into each other slowly connecting our lips. His hands come up to my cheeks holding me as I melt into him. My heart is beating a million miles per minute and I relish in his touch. When he finally pulls back, I keep my eyes closed not wanting to lose the feeling just yet. When I finally open them, his smile touches me deep within my heart. I feel my heart crack wide open and I fight the tears I know are in the corner of my eye.
He uses his knuckle and wipes away the tear before it falls, “Come out with me tonight? Let me take you to dinner? Then we can go back to my mom’s house…Wow that sounded a lot better in my head.”
I laugh unable to stop it from bubbling out.
His cheeks redden, “Come back to my mom’s house and we can watch a movie.”
I drop my gaze from him for a minute while I chew on my lip. When I look back up at him, I have my lip pulled between my teeth and I nod. His smile brightens, “I’ll pick you up at six. Wear something comfortable.”
I glance down at his clothes I’m wearing and then back up at him cocking my eyebrow and he grins. “Not that, but you can bring it if you want.” I smile knowing he’s leaving his heart out on his sleeve. Letting me in. Giving me the ability to break him. I wish he would take it back, because it’s going to hurt him and I both so much more when he learns the truth. I climb from the car and wave as I make my way to the dorms. He pulls away when I shut the door behind me.
At exactly five forty-nine he knocks on the door. I smile as I answer it. I’m incapable of not smiling right now. I pull the door open and allow him in. I can tell he’s nervous, but he quickly calms himself when he sees me. I’ve got on a cotton long sleeve dress that comes about five inches above my knee with my vans. It’s cute and comfortable. He’s eyeing me and I can watch as his eye travel from my feet slowly up my body stopping on my mouth then meeting my eyes. He looks hungry, but I dare say not for food. He smiles and comes to me dropping a kiss to my lips. “If we don’t get out of here soon, we may not leave.”
I smile up at him grabbing my phone from the bed. “We better go then.”
He smiles as he holds the door open for me. I walk out and he takes my hand in his leading me down the stairs and to his car, where he opened the door and helped me inside.
At the restaurant he comes around and opens the door for me. He smiles taking my hand. Inside the waiter sits us in a window seat. Caelan sits across from me and after ordering he asks, “Happy you came?”
I smile knowing he needs me to comfort him. I nod, “So far.”
We talk about any and everything. When the food comes, we eat in silence. I try his food and he tries my food. I don’t eat nearly as much as him, but I did put in a good effort.
After last night I avoided taking my anxiety medicine. I should have never taken that many. I just didn’t want to feel. I needed to numb it all. It scared me and I’m guessing after the way Tanner yelled at me today, I wasn’t the only one it scared. He texted me early today apologizing for being a jerk and making sure I was okay.
When we finish eating, he drops a nice sized tip on the table and pays the tab. At his house we get out of the car and I follow him into his mom’s house, which is gorgeous. Absolutely stunning. In the living room he opens a wardrobe and pulls out a fluffy blanket dropping it on the couch. I kick my shoes off by the couch and he does the same. He drops down on the couch and pulls me down beside him. He pulls the blanket over us and we flip through the new movies on the redbox app. When we find something, we can both agree on he orders it and I curl into him as we watch it together. He adjusts himself on the couch where he is laying on his side and I’m lying-in front of him. His hand sitting comfortably on my hip. His hand kneads my hip and I gaze up at him. When he realizes I’m watching he glances down at me and smiles. I roll on my back and his hand slides to my stomach. I reach up touching his cheek as he dips his head to kiss me. He leans back and whispers, “I’ve missed you so much.”
My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth in fear of what I might say. He leans back in connecting our lips sending shivers throughout my body. This man. His touch. It’s all I’ve wanted for so long. I needed it. Craved it even and now I have it. I run my hand from his chest to his side, pulling him closer. He stops moving and leans back gazing at me, “You’re okay with this? I don’t want to push if you aren’t ready for this.”
After staring at him for a full minute I lean up putting my hand at the nape of his neck pulling him closer yet again and leaning forward to kiss him. I felt his hardness pressing into my leg and I needed to feel more. His shirt is the first things to go. I ached for him all over. His body moved slowly over me. He moved slowly over my body. Showing a tender side, I’ve never seen from him. He pulls my dress up and rests his body between my thighs, hiking my leg up over his hip. I gaze up at him and he bows his head, “If you aren’t ready, you really need to say, because there’s no going back from here.”
I pull his head back and meet his lips with mine lifting my hips to meet his. He groans into the kiss. He leans back shucking his jeans and boxers. He lowers himself back in between my thighs and when he starts to talk, “Are you…” I lift my hips and ease the tip of his penis into my entrance. His eyes widen and he slowly slides inside of me, touching me deep within. I never remove my eyes from his as he takes me. Not once, not twice, but four delicious times before we crash from exhaustion.
Chapter 21
Tanner
Walking through the door with Meggie wrapped around my hips, climbing me like I’m a fuckin tree is one of the best feelings I’ve ever had. This girl is insatiable. If it were up to her, we’d never leave my bed. I bump into Piper’s nightstand knocking some stuff to the floor. I drop Meggie down on the bed and she lets out a giggle. I grab her feet pulling her to me, only stopping
when something on the floor by Piper’s nightstand catches my eye. Turning I freeze in my spot, my stomach tumbling to my feet. Meggie leans forward, “What’s wrong Tan? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” I drop her feet and reach for the picture off the floor. When I pull it into my hands, I fall to my knees. Concerned Meggie slides from the bed beside me as I whisper, “What the fuck?”
She takes the picture from my hands and slide down the bed to her butt beside me. A tear trickles down her cheek and I lean into her, “This doesn’t mean anything Meggie. I still love you. I… I… I just…”
She finishes what I’m unable to, “Need to know.” The ultrasound in her hand is trembling as her hand trembles. She pulls it closer to her face and then wipes the tears, “Tanner… I… I think… I think this was Caelan’s baby.”
I dart my head in her direction.
“It only makes since. Look at the dates on here. This would have been taken right after the wedding. Look at how far along she was.”
I can’t do much more than stare. My tongue is sticking to the roof of my dry mouth, but I force the words anyways, “Where’s… Where’s the baby Meggie?”
Meggie looks back down at the ultrasound, “She wouldn’t have been far enough along to have it by the time she came here for school. Maybe she had it early, I dunno. Maybe adoption. She could have lost it. I dunno.”
My hands shake and I finally climb to my feet, “I want answers. I need to find her. She was with Caelan, I’m going there.”
Meggie jumps up taking my hands, “Wait, don’t do that. I agree we should talk to her, but here. Not in front of him. I’m pretty sure this is the big secret that she hasn’t told him yet. If we bust in there and blurt out what we know, we will spook her, and he may very well hate her for not hearing it from her.”
I drop back down to the bed running my hands through my hair, “What the fuck am I going to do if I have a kid?”
She places her hand on my back, “I don’t think you have to worry about that. She might keep a lot of secrets, but she’d never be able to keep a secret like that from you… From me. Hell, she’d never be able to keep it from her family. They’d tell you. They’d tell your mom.” She rubs her hand around my back and then kisses my cheek, “I’m afraid she lost the baby. I’m afraid that’s the reason behind her being so fragile.”
I lay back on her bed running my hand over my face over and over again. If she was pregnant and lost it, she delt with that on her own. She’s been living with this for how long by herself. She thought I’d hate her; she still thinks I’m going to hate her. Honestly, I don’t know what I feel, but I know right now I just need answers. I need to know what happened.
Meggie lays beside me with her head on my chest. I feel like I’ve got a hundred-pound weight draped across my chest. I wrap my arms around her and close my eyes hoping to God, there’s not a baby out there somewhere that belongs to me. Why would she do that to me? Would she do that to me? Would she do that to herself?
I’ve seen her since she came back to school and she’s not the same. The light’s missing. There’s a pain deep within her and no one’s been able to turn that light back on since she’s gotten back here. I thought maybe it was because of the way Caelan was treating her to begin with, but it’s still missing. She’s suffering and I don’t know how to fix it this time. I don’t know if even Caelan can fix this.
Piper
Caelan drops me off out front and offers to walk me in, but I lean over and kiss him. “I’m a big girl.”
He smiles and kisses me again. Before I get out of the car, he squeezes my hand. He waits until I’m inside before leaving like he always does.
I walk up the stairs slowly relishing in the delicious pain that radiates throughout my body after the night I had with him. He was wonderful. Last night was one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time. Funny how the last time was with him too.
When I put my key in the door, it’s pulled open. Meggie’s face is pale. She looks as if she hasn’t slept all night. She steps to the side and I walk in to find Tanner standing by the coffee bar. He looks worse than Meggie. He’s pale and has huge black circles around his eyes.
I ease into the room terrified. “Meggie?” I can’t take my eyes off Tanner. He looks so angry. I step closer to Meggie in fear. Nobody is saying anything, and I feel like the damn is fixing to break and wash me away. I ease to the bed with trembling hands. “What’s going on guys?”
Tanner reaches on the counter picking up a small sheet of paper handing it out to me. I stand and reach for the piece of paper, only it’s not a sheet of paper. It’s my ultrasound. My eyes fly wide and I grip it in my hands unable to take my eyes off of it as tears fill my eyes. I pull it to my chest as the first tear falls. I start shaking uncontrollably. Tanner finally speaks, “Is it mine Piper?”
I can’t bring myself to answer or say anything at all for that matter. I can’t take my eyes off the ultrasound. A weight sits freely on my chest. Getting a full breath is almost impossible. I grip the sheet at my side and my whole body is shaking uncontrollably. Meggie steps towards me in concern, but I shift away from her.
Tanner takes a step towards me, before asking, “Where’s the baby Pip?”
My eyes fly to his, but I still can’t respond. The pain in my chest is almost unbearable.
Meggie whispers, “Please says something Piper. Anything.”
I glance around spotting my keys on the nightstand. With the picture gripped in my hand I grab the keys from the nightstand and sprint out of the room and down the hall. I trip almost at the bottom of the stairs falling down the last five steps. I see Meggie and Tanner freeze in fear at the top of the stairs. My arm feels like hell. My chest hurts, but I climb to my feet and race the rest of the way to my car. Once inside Tanner beats on the window, “Talk to us Piper. I need to know if the baby is mine. Where…”
I slide the car in gear and take off down the street. I was supposed to leave in three days to go home for a week. I was supposed to ride with Jaxon and Shelby, but I’ve got to get out of here. My entire body hurts. I’m shaking so bad I can barely hold on to the steering wheel. About and hour into the trip my phone rings. I glance down and it’s Jillian.
I answer the phone barely able to get the words out, “Jil…lly.” I cry into the phone as my heart breaks again.
“Hey baby girl. It’s okay calm down. Pull over to the side of the road. I’m turning around and I’m going to pull up behind you okay. Shhh… just breathe.” She coos into the phone.
I drop my phone in the seat without hanging up and pull the car to the side of the road. Not even a minute later my mom’s car slides in behind me. Jillian climbs from the driver seat and my mom from the passenger seat. Jillian opens my door taking my hands in hers, “Come on.” She wraps her arms around me and squeezes me as tight as she can. “Let’s get you home baby girl.”
Shivering and shaking all over I follow her to the car. She climbs in the back with me after locking up my car and hiding the keys over the wheel. I lay my head in her lap and completely come to pieces. Every few minutes my mom asks, “She okay Jillian?”
Jillian only nods, “She’s gonna be fine mom.” She rubs her hand through my hair and whispers, “Let it out baby girl.” And I do. I cry the entire way home holding the little picture to my chest.
Chapter 22
My Dad meets us at the door when we walk in. Seeing the sadness on his face breaks my heart. I sink to my knees in the foyer and he drops to his knees in front of me wrapping his arms around me and just holding me, rocking me back and forth. “Dad…dy. I’m… I’m… I’m sor…ry.”
He shakes his head, “No baby, you have no reason to be sorry. You went through something. You’re allowed to break, but baby girl, you got to get back up. You can’t stay down.”
I nod as the tears keep tumbling down my cheeks. Once I’m somewhat calmer, Jillian walks with me to my room and we curl up on my bed together, where sleep quickly drags me under.
; Little blonde curls come bouncing towards me. A tear slips down my cheek. “This could have been us.” I turn and see Caelan standing there. “But you kept my child from me. You never said a word.” Hatred bleeds across his face, “You killed my child.” The little girl with blonde curls comes bouncing up to me gripping my hand, “Come on Mommy.” The tears streak faster and faster down my cheek. I’m unable to move. The little girl climbs into Caelan’s arms and I watch as they both turn to ash. I scream trying to get to them before they’re gone forever.
I bolt upright in the bed with sweat seeping through my clothes and my body starts trembling again. Jillian is trying to comfort me, “Shh it’s okay sweet girl. It was just a dream. Come on. Calm down. Let’s lay back down.” I ease back to the bed still shaken from the dream. I lay there with her rubbing my back until I’m able to drift back to sleep.
I sleep the day away and when I finally wake up it’s close to dinner time. Not that I’m going to be able to eat anything, but I need to at least pretend I’m okay. I lift my phone and it’s five forty-eight. I’ve got three missed calls from Caelan, twelve from Tanner and nearly twenty from Meggie. I clear all of those and check my messages.
Tanner: You can’t run from this. I need to know. Is it mine?
Tanner: Stop being like this and give me something.