by Dawn Green
Sometimes when a young person close to you hurts herself you feel you could have done something to prevent it. It’s normal to feel that way but the thing is, you are not responsible! Sometimes the pain is too great for any of us to take it away.
If you lose someone to suicide or feel depressed yourself, remember Kacey and Sara’s story. You may not feel exactly as they did but whatever your feelings, they are important and real.
There is a way through and a way to move on.
Resources
In every province, there is a Mental Health Crisis Line, hotline, health line, distress line, help line, or a suicide line that you can find online. In most provinces, you can call 2-1-1 for information about other mental health services. (This is true of every province except Manitoba and Newfoundland, and it is coming soon to Nunavut but is not available in the Northwest Territories or the Yukon.)
In the United States, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org) provides help line phone services and other resources regionally across the country. As well, its You Matter branch (www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org) offers helpful information, resources as well as a blog specifically for young adults.
Websites with resources and more information:
Kidshelp phone (ages 5 to 20): www.kidshelpphone.ca/Teens/Home.aspx
Canadian suicide prevention: suicideprevention.ca/thinking-about-suicide/find-a-crisis-centre/ (1-800-273-8255)
Mind your mind: www.mindyourmind.ca
National (USA) Suicide Prevention Lifeline (www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org) and its section for young adults, You Matter (www.youmatter.suicide preventionlifeline.org).
Mobilizing Minds project: www.mobilizingminds.ca
About Depression: www.depression.informedchoices.ca
For a program in your school, talk to a guidance counsellor
The Jack Project: www.thejackproject.org
For LGBT youth: www.itgetsbetter.org and The Trevor Project: www.thetrevorproject.org
Providing mental health resources to young people: The Kelty Patrick Dennehy Foundation www.thekeltyfoundation.org
To learn more about mental health:
Canadian Mental Health Association: www.cmha.ca/mental-health/your-mental-health/youth/
The Mental Health Commission of Canada: www.mentalhealthcommission.ca/English/issues/child-and-youth
For adults wanting to take a mental health first aid course go to: www.mentalhealthfirstaid.ca
Contributed by Jenny Carver, Executive Director, Stella’s Place www.stellasplace.ca. Stella’s Place is a street front and online community being developed by parents, young adults, and experts to respond to the mental health needs of young adults in the Toronto area. It will engage with people between 15 and 29 with a full range of clinical and alternative ways to help them find their way through to recovery and connection. Stella’s Place will be open in the fall of 2015.
Photo credit: Jackie Micallef
Interview with Dawn Green
What led you to write this story?
To be honest, I had the title first. I was in a local bookstore and I had a vision (I guess you could call it) of a book (my book) on the shelf called When Kacey Left. I knew it was going to be about a girl dealing with the loss of a friend but I wasn’t sure in what capacity. I logged it in the back of my mind and it wasn’t until a couple of years later, sitting in an education course at university discussing the topic teen suicide, that “Kacey” spoke to me.
For me, this story was always going to focus on those left behind, dealing with this empty space in their life. Suicide can be such a taboo topic. And losing someone to suicide is difficult / sad / frustrating because those left behind are left with so many unanswered questions.
To make a long answer even longer, I met Bree, a fellow student in my education cohort and for some reason—I barely knew her at this point—I asked if she would be interested in editing this novel I was working on. I didn’t know it at the time but she had always thought about pursuing editing as a profession and she divulged to me that this story was particularly important to her, as she had been directly affected by a friend’s suicide. So, many things came together and Kacey became a story I felt I had to write.
In telling the story, though it is all told from Sara’s viewpoint, you have also included other voices—parents, school authorities, other friends. Why did you think each of these voices was important for us to hear?
This story was always going to be about a friend dealing with the loss of a friend and I chose Sara—someone who felt she knew her the best—to tell it, but I also included the voices of those around her because I wanted to explore the far reaching impact of Kacey’s death in Sara’s world. The old adage that everyone deals with death in her or his own way is very true, but it can be difficult to understand for a teenager who is dealing with death for the first time and who has her own ideas of how people should be responding. I also wanted the other characters to reveal more about Sara—as she is reflected in their eyes. It’s through the other people in her life that Sara starts to see and understand herself a little better.
You have deliberately left the reasons for Kacey’s taking her own life ambiguous. Recently a number of widely publicized events of this kind have been traced to instances of bullying. Why did you decide not to make this part of Kacey’s story?
Bullying is an important issue that always needs to be talked about and addressed. As a teacher—and a human being—I am happy that it has become such an important discussion topic in schools and society and I hope it continues.
When suicides happen people generally ask the question—WHY? And they want an answer that will help them understand. Unfortunately, we can’t always get that answer that we want—an answer that gives us some sense of closure. I personally wanted to address the topic of mental health and depression in teens because it is another area that I think needs more attention from schools and society. The teenage world is complicated, and teenagers are complicated. Too many times I think adults can overlook the problems that teens are facing, thinking it’s just typical teenage “angst,” not realizing that some of them might be dealing with anxiety issues, withdrawal, depression, and / or mental health disorders. Depression in teenagers is a very real issue and needs as much attention as bullying does.
The whole story is a series of entries in a journal by Kacey’s best friend, Sara. Can you tell me about the challenge you faced in catching the voice of a 16-year-old girl in that format?
Oh, man! In some ways it was easier to capture the voice of Sara in journal format and that is why I chose to do it this way. There is an honesty and vulnerability that comes from journal writing that I wanted Sara to have so we could experience her emotions in a raw state. The difficulty came with writing an entire novel in this fashion. I wanted to maintain that this was Sara’s journal but also write a complete story, get to know Kacey, and show the voices of those around her. I hope that using dialogue, memories, text conversations etc. accomplishes that while fitting with the journal format.
I teach and coach teenagers and I am around them all the time—and in some ways I feel like a teen myself sometimes—so, finding the teenage voice was, like, not that hard.
Sara not only has to deal with her own grieving over Kacey’s being gone, but also with the gossip about her and Kacey that travels throughout the school. Which do you think is harder for her to overcome?
Kacey’s suicide shatters Sara’s world and that world includes her home, personal, and school life—every area that Kacey would have been a part of. And in each area her death is felt a little bit differently. Again, suicide comes with an element of mystery. People want answers and they will look for those answers in the people closest to the person who has died. Kacey was Sara’s best friend, everyone in the school associates Kacey with Sara and Sara with Kacey, and Sara can’t escape that. Yes, she is grieving, but the gossip in the school is a part of what she has to deal with, and so
are the concerns of her parents and the relationships with her friends—I don’t think one is more difficult to overcome than the other.
In your experience as a teacher, how do schools generally deal with student suicide when it happens?
In my personal experience schools handle a student’s suicide as best they can. Counselors are brought in and students are talked to directly and sometimes the entire school is addressed about it. But, there is an element of “let’s move past this and move on as quick as we can.” Sara writes about how a student died of cancer and she can remember an assembly and the dedication of a playground but with Kacey they try to get through it quickly. This is something I have seen happen. Suicide is a delicate topic and I know that a lot of administrations wrestle with how best to handle it. With so many students and faculty in one building to manage, help and deal with, it can be an impossible task to appease everyone—and maybe there is no right way.
Do you think teen suicide is more frequent now than it was in the past?
I am not sure if it is more frequent or it’s just that with an increase in population and access to so many social media outlets we are more aware of it. I do think teenagers face more pressures than ever. Every generation comes with new obstacles and the current generations face an onslaught of social media pressures. Teens who were upset and needed space used to be able to come home, disappear into their room, and slam the door shut. Now, with computers and phones, they are constantly being bombarded with emails, texts, Snapchats, Facetime … it’s endless and it’s almost impossible for them to turn everything off. I’m certainly not blaming social media; I’m just saying that it’s a different world. Teenagers have a lot of expectations put on them and I have personally witnessed and experienced an increase in teenage anxiety disorders and depression.
While this is your first published novel, you have several other projects completed. What advice do you have for young writers who are interested in pursuing a writing career?
First of all, I need to say that I feel like a ridiculous imposter even answering this question. I still look to other authors—and it feels weird putting myself in the “author” category—for their advice. In fact, I just did a happy dance after signing on the line that said “Author” on my first contract, and I am still getting used to the feel of it next to my name. And I hope that I get to do many more happy dances!
I think a lot of pressure comes with the title of “Writer” or “Author” and sometimes that pressure can be overwhelming and paralysing. To take the pressure away I personally have to tell myself that I am not “writing,” I am just “telling a story,” and that helps me. I think each person needs to find their own little mantra that helps them to keep going, keep writing, and keep navigating this world. In my limited experience there is no “right” way to pursue this career. There is only the “write” way—as in, you have to write, and write a lot … and then write some more. Like anything worthwhile, this can be a tough career to pursue but if you believe in your story then you need to stop at nothing to make others believe in it too—and with any luck (but mostly perseverance) you’ll be dancing your very own happy dance one day!
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Copyright © 2015 by Dawn Green
Published in Canada by Red Deer Press, 195 Allstate Parkway, Markham, Ontario L3R 4T8
Published in the United States by Red Deer Press, 311 Washington Street, Brighton, Massachusetts 02135
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief excerpts in critical reviews and articles. All inquiries should be addressed to Red Deer Press, 195 Allstate Parkway, Markham, Ontario L3R 4T8.
www.reddeerpress.com
Red Deer Press acknowledges with thanks the Canada Council for the Arts, and the Ontario Arts Council for their support of our publishing program. We acknowledge the financial support of the Government of Canada through the Canada Book Fund (CBF) for our publishing activities.
Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
Green, Dawn.
When kacey left / Dawn Green.
ISBN 978-0-88995-523-3 (pbk.), eISBN 978-1-55244-338-5 (epub)
Data available on file.
Publisher Cataloging-in-Publication Data (U.S.)
Green, Dawn.
When kacey left / Dawn Green.
ISBN 978-0-88995-523-3 (pbk.), eISBN 978-1-55244-338-5 (epub)
Data available on file.
Edited for the Press by Peter Carver
Cover and text design by Daniel Choi
Cover image courtesy of iStock