by S. J. West
“Ohhh, so you robbed the cradle, did ya?” I tease, earning a laugh from Mason. It’s a nice sound. One I definitely want to hear more of from him.
“If only you knew how old I really am,” Mason says mysteriously, “then you would know how true that statement is.”
“Well, I might not know much about myself, but I believe I do have manners and wouldn’t think to ask such a question of a gentleman.”
“Actually, you would ask if you really wanted to know. You’re normally very blunt about things.”
“Really? Well, I guess that’s a good thing to know about myself. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind if I think of something to ask.”
“I’m basically an open book to you, Jess,” Mason tells me. “I’ll tell you anything.”
“Also good to know.”
As we continue to walk, and I take in my new surroundings, I notice Mason keeps looking at me.
Finally I stop walking, turn to face him, and ask, “What is it?”
Mason looks confused. “What’s what?”
“Why do you keep looking at me like I’m someone you don’t know? I’m the only one with amnesia here, right?”
“It’s just…” Mason’s voice trails off as he tries to compose his thoughts. “It’s just that I’ve never seen you like this before.”
“Umm, like…what…exactly?” I ask hesitantly, uncertain if I want to learn the answer to my question or not.
“So happy and openly curious about things. You’re normally a bit more reserved and cautious.”
“Oh. Well, maybe I’m just not as scared as I should be because I don’t know all the possible pitfalls,” I suggest.
“Scared…” Mason says, the word trailing off as his eyes become slightly unfocused, like he’s thinking back to something. “That’s probably it.”
“Is there something I should be scared of, besides the whole Apocalypse thing going on?”
Mason shakes his head. “Not anymore. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m just glad to see you so happy.”
Mason resumes walking, but I stop him with a hand on his chest.
“Wait a minute,” I tell him. “You don’t get off that easy. What else should I be scared about?”
“Like I said, nothing.”
“No, you said ‘not anymore’, which tells me I was scared of something at one time. What was I scared of?”
“Jess, please, just forget I said anything. I want you to enjoy your time here.”
“I won’t be able to now until you tell me the truth. So spill. What used to frighten me?”
Mason rubs the heel of his hand between his eyes. “Why didn’t I just keep my big mouth shut?”
“Well, why don’t you open that big mouth to tell me what it is you’re trying to hide from me?”
Mason lowers his hand and looks at me again.
“It was something that happened in your childhood,” he finally confesses, sounding as reluctant as he looks to tell me the rest. “I think I just realized how much it affected your personality.”
“In a good or bad way?”
“Neither, really,” Mason says with a slight shrug. “The Jess I know has always approached things cautiously. She worries about the safety of her friends more than her own. She rarely lets loose, because she’s always scared something will happen to the people she loves if she isn’t watching out for them. So, the change isn’t good and it isn’t bad. It’s just a side of you I’ve never seen before.”
“What happened in my childhood to make me so cautious of everything?”
Mason bites his lower lip as he considers his next words.
“When you were a child,” he begins reluctantly, “your adoptive mother had a brother who sexually abused you for years.”
Mason stops to let me absorb this startling bit of information. I’m grateful for the time, because I feel like I just had a boulder fall on top of my head.
“Oh,” is the only response I can think of as I continue to digest what he just told me.
“It took you a long time to learn to trust people, especially men. I was fortunate enough to be the first man you willingly shared yourself with, both physically and emotionally. I thank God for your trust in me every day because, since the moment I met you, I knew you were meant for me.”
“How did you know?” I whisper.
“Because we’re soulmates, Jess. We’ve always belonged to one another.”
Strangely enough, I didn’t doubt a word Mason just said to me. I did believe he was my soulmate, even if such a concept might seem ridiculous to some. My heart would have told those naysayers to shut the hell up. Just because you haven’t been fortunate enough to experience something for yourself, doesn’t mean that it’s non-existent.
“I’m sorry,” I tell Mason. “I shouldn’t have forced you to tell me about my past. It’s made you sad.”
“Only because it was something that happened to you that I couldn’t protect you from.”
“Well, I don’t want to dwell on something so horrible when we have so much to enjoy here. Come on,” I say, taking a step forward and pulling on Mason’s arm, “let’s go find the Tree of Life, and then we can go exploring.”
It doesn’t take us long to locate the Tree of Life. It’s the largest tree in Eden, and it’s the only one with a flaming sword sticking out of its trunk. The sword looks identical to the one Gabriel gave Ravan in every way, except for one thing.
“Why are the flames blue?” I ask Mason.
From the confused expression on Mason’s face, I already know how he will answer my question.
“I have no idea,” he admits, staring at the sword. “But at least it’s here. I wasn’t sure it would be.”
As we walk up to the tree, I ask Mason, “So, what do I do? Just pull it out?”
“That’s all you had to do on our world,” Mason says. “I’m assuming the same rules apply here.”
I don’t want to admit it to Mason, but I’m a little hesitant to even touch the sword. What if I can’t pull it out? Will that diminish me in his eyes in some way? It seems like a sword made for an angel, not someone as inconsequential as me. Yet, I do have an Archangel living inside me somewhere. From what the others told me earlier, my soul is tethered to Michael’s permanently. I apparently volunteered to be his vessel, even before I was born. I knew he had to be the inner voice I kept sensing, nudging me this way and that. Maybe I needed my memories back to restore my connection to him. That’s basically all anyone is really, a collection of memories and experiences. I’m practically a clean slate.
There would be no way for me to pick and choose between the memories I wanted and the ones I wanted to leave behind. In the end, why would I want to forget the hardships I’ve endured? They helped shape a woman who survived them all and is loved by many. I want to know myself again. I need to know the story of my life.
I look over at Mason, and feel an intense yearning to remember what our first kiss was like. What happened at our wedding? Was he with me when our children were born? What did their first cries sound like?
I turn towards the tree and approach it. My heart races into my throat as I reach for the hilt of the sword and gently pull. With little effort, I draw the sword out of the Tree of Life and hold it up in front of my eyes, marveling at how natural it feels in my hand.
“Thank God,” I hear Mason say behind me in relief.
I face him, holding the sword out by my side. The flames extinguish, but only because I wanted them to. I can’t help but smile at the thought that Ravan couldn’t make the sword she stole from me ignite. I seriously doubt she’ll ever be able to make it flame. It wasn’t made for her. It was made for me.
“Now what?” I ask, walking back to Mason’s side.
“I would really like to test you to see if your body remembers how to use a sword.”
“My body?”
“Fighting mostly depends on muscle memory,” Mason explains. “You and I have sparred a lot over t
he years, to make your movements second-nature to you. You don’t even have to think about what you need to do now, because your body already knows how to counter almost any attack.”
“Then let’s test your theory,” I say, looking around for something Mason can use as a weapon.
A limb spontaneously falls from the Tree of Life, which strikes me as odd.
“Is it just me, or did you find that a weird coincidence, too?” I ask Mason.
Mason bends down and picks up the limb. It’s exactly the right length and width for him to use as a pretend sword.
“I suspect it was my Father lending us a small hand.”
I look up at the sky, but only see puffy white clouds and a few dragons.
“So He’s watching us? Like, now?”
“Always,” Mason confirms. “There’s nothing you can hide from Him.”
“Really?” I ask, finding that notion a bit disconcerting. “Surely He turns a blind eye…you know…in private moments.”
“Like when we make love, you mean?” Mason asks with a roguish grin and raised eyebrows. “Well if He doesn’t, I hope He appreciates my stamina in such moments.”
“Oh, really?” I laugh nervously. I can’t help but sound intrigued by this new piece of information. “Just how much stamina do you have? Are we talking minutes, hours, or days?”
Mason’s smile widens as he proudly announces, “Weeks.”
“Weeks?” I can’t help but feel impressed. “How was I able to walk after that much sex?”
“You didn’t need to walk,” Mason tells me. “You had a willing slave at your beck and call. Besides, you were lying down most of the time.”
“Hmm…”
Mason tilts his head at me. “Hmm, what? Why did that sound like you were disappointed in what I just said?”
I shrug my shoulders. “For some reason, I thought we would be the type of couple who has more adventurous sex.”
Mason begins to chuckle and smiles brightly. “Oh, we are. But even we need to rest every once in a while. Don’t forget, you’re human, Jess. Your body needs rest.”
“Apparently, not much…”
“No.” Mason winks at me. “Not much at all actually.”
I raise my sword, and assume a fighting stance without having to give it much thought.
“Ready?” I challenge.
Mason holds his tree limb out and assumes a similar position.
“Whenever you are,” he says, looking excited by the prospect of fighting me.
Now that I see him standing there with only a piece of wood in his hand, I have to ask, “Won’t this sword just cut right through that limb?”
“It’s from the Tree of Life. Honestly, it’s probably just as hard as, or even harder than, your sword. That’s why I said my Father must have given it to us. Only He could have made it drop from the tree.”
I take a deep breath and try to clear my mind completely. If muscle memory is what I need to rely on, I know I’ll need to fight Mason without overthinking it.
My first swing meets Mason’s improvised sword with a resounding clash.
Without thinking, I take the offensive and push forward, making Mason give up ground and take a few steps back. I feel an intense adrenaline rush as my movements become more sure, like I’ve been through this dance a thousand times before with Mason.
I probably have. I just don’t remember it; but my muscles definitely do. It seems my body remembers quite a lot where Mason is concerned. As I watch the way he moves his body as he fights against me, I can’t help but imagine the things we’ve done to and for one another, both physically and emotionally. Just being around him makes me feel more centered and in control of myself. I know I can tell him anything, even my darkest thoughts, and he wouldn’t think any less of me for them.
I end up making the mistake of imagining Mason completely naked. I’m not sure if the image that pops up in my mind is real or a fantasy. Either way, it distracts me, and I end up failing to block one of his swings. Before I know it, I’m lying flat on my back, wondering if the stars I’m seeing are real or not.
“Jess!” Mason yells, dropping to his knees beside me and bracing himself with his hands as he leans over me to look into my eyes. “I’m so sorry. I thought you would block me, or I never would have swung that hard. Are you ok? Did I hurt you?”
I have to close my eyes and take a few deep breaths to make my head stop spinning.
“I’m ok,” I tell him to assuage his worry. “Just give me a minute.”
When I open my eyes again, I scream…
CHAPTER FIVE
Situated in the small space between my face and Mason’s is the head of a curly- black-haired stranger. His face is so close to mine, our noses are practically touching. Though, strangely enough, I don’t feel his breath on my skin.
“Who the hell are you?” I scream at him.
The man mouths something, but I can’t audibly hear the words he says.
“Jess, are you seeing Michael?” Mason asks hopefully.
“Don’t you see him?” I yell. “He’s right there!”
Michael vanishes and reappears to the right of me, standing slightly off to the side, as if to give me some breathing room. It’s only then that I remember the other vessels telling me that only we could see the mental projections of our Archangels. Of course Mason couldn’t see Michael, he was a figment of my own imagination.
Michael mouths two words to me, and I pay attention to the movement of his lips this time.
“It’s ok,” I tell him, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves. “You don’t have to be sorry. You just startled me, is all.”
I try to sit up, but quickly become woozy again. Mason’s quick reflexes keep me from falling back to the ground; he catches me by the shoulders to steady me.
“Thanks,” I tell him, lifting a hand to my forehead to help ease the ache there. I look back over at Michael and see him talking, but I still can’t hear a word he’s saying.
“I can’t hear you,” I inform him.
Michael looks confused by my statement, but seems to accept it as truth without any further explanation.
I look at Mason. “Why can I see him but not hear him?”
Mason shakes his head. “I’m not sure, but it doesn’t matter; this is good news, Jess! Maybe some of your memories are slowly starting to come back. Can you remember anything?”
I sit there and think as hard as I can, but can’t seem to remember anything new.
“No,” I tell Mason regretfully. “Nothing.”
Mason sighs in disappointment, a sound I hate to hear.
“Help me stand up,” I request.
Without question, he helps me to my feet.
“Ok, I have an idea. You might think I’m crazy, but hear me out,” I tell both Mason and Michael, who is now looking at me worriedly. Possibly because he already knows what I’m about to say if he can read my mind.
At my thinking that, Michael nods his head, confirming that he is privy to my inner thoughts. He begins to shake his head vigorously at me and makes a series of crossing motions with his hands and arms, telling me not to go through with what I want to do.
“If you have a better suggestion, find a way to tell me,” I say to him irritably before turning back to Mason. “I want you to do something that you’re probably not going to like very much.”
“What?” Mason asks cautiously.
I spread my feet apart and plant them firmly on the ground. I wave my hands in the air as if egging Mason on for a fight.
“Hit me,” I tell him.
“Uh, did… you just ask me to hit you?” Mason asks, positive he must have heard me wrong.
“Yes,” I confirm, “hit me in the head again. Maybe it’ll jar some more memories loose. I sort of have Michael back now. Maybe I just need one more good hit in the head to get everything back.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Michael bury his face in both of his hands, like I’m a hopeless cause.
“I am not going to hit you, Jess!” Mason protests. “Don’t ask again, because it’s not going to happen!”
“Do you have a better idea?” I question, knowing that he doesn’t.
“Well…no….but damaging your brain even more isn’t the answer.”
Michael throws his hands in the air towards Mason and mouths the words, “Thank you.”
I growl in frustration at both of them. “Then one of you needs to come up with a better plan, because I can’t walk around with Michael the Mime for the rest of my life.”
“Ok, ok, let me think…” Mason’s brow furrows as he enters into deep thought.
I look over at Michael, and see him begin to pace back and forth as he tries to come up with a plan of his own.
I wait. I wait a little more. I become impatient with waiting, and then I become openly irritated.
“Anything?” I ask, exceedingly agitated by this point.
“I’m coming up with nothing,” Mason apologizes. “What about Michael?”
I look over at Michael again and see that he’s still pacing back and forth, not paying Mason or me any mind.
“Nothing on that front either,” I sigh disappointedly.
“Well, this might not help you get your memory back,” Mason says, “but what if we just walk around and try to enjoy the rest of the time we have here? Maybe if you just relax, it will help.”
“I guess that’s something to try.” I can’t help but sound as disheartened as I feel.
“We’ll figure it out, Jess,” Mason promises, making me want to believe him. “Now that you have access to Michael, maybe he can think of something that we haven’t.”
I look over at Michael and see him nodding his head at me, as if he’s agreeing with Mason. He taps the side of his temples with an index finger and continues to nod.
“He seems to be thinking about it,” I say, wondering if I’ll have to live the rest of my life with Michael acting out his thoughts to me.
Mason grabs my sword off the ground and takes my hand.
“Come on,” he says. “Let’s see what paradise has to offer us.”