“No, it’s just no one’s damn business.”
“Brother, I know you, probably better than you’d like me to. You were calling James on his crap earlier, so now it’s my turn.”
“This isn’t—”
“Nut up or shut up,” Connor said, looking his friend directly in the eyes. “You’re afraid of letting anyone close because then they have the power to hurt you. So instead of having an actual relationship with Chloe, you’re just keeping it physical. But that won’t last and you know it. You’ll either have to move to the next stage or end it. Not only do I not want to see either of you getting hurt, but I actually think you two belong together, even if that sounds cheesy as hell. It’s been a long time since you let anyone really get to know you, and that was my brother and me. It’s time to do it again. The world is ending, and we could go out on a run in two days and not come back. You owe it to yourself and Chloe to let her in.” After his uncharacteristically long speech, Connor took a swig of his drink.
“You always were an insightful bastard when you drink,” Tank said, subdued.
“It’s almost like a superpower that’s powered with alcohol.”
“What is it with today? First James gets all his issues shoved in his face and now me? I think it’s your turn next.”
“No need. I know my issues.”
“Really?”
“I drink to silence the voices in my head, to cover up the fear and worry growing inside, and to run from what I know is true. I drink because it’s necessary to survive in my current state. I’ve got a lot of shit I don’t feel like dealing with right now.”
“Okay,” Tank said, chuckling. “I guess you’re right.”
“I usually am,” Connor said, smiling at Tank, and they both started cracking up.
It’d always been easier for him to open up and say what was in his heart when he drank, but he guessed that was how it was for most people. They finished their drinks and sat at the table, talking about things that didn’t matter anymore—video games, movies, TV shows—anything that kept the conversation from getting too serious again. They were there to forget, not dredge up more of the past. When the last call came, Connor left and walked back to their place two blocks south. Tank lingered and helped Chloe close down the saloon. He’d be staying with her that night, and maybe he would open up and let her in. Connor truly hoped he would. If James and Tank could be happy—the two people he cared about the most—then maybe he could look past the hole growing inside him and be content with that. He knew it wouldn’t last long, but maybe he could hold it together until they made it to Alaska. After that, he’d finally deal with everything he was trying to cover up.
5
The
Leap
Alexis smiled and walked down the steps past James. Could she sense his fear like a predator? If that were true, he was in a world of hurt.
“Wanna go for a walk?” she asked and turned back to face him.
“Yeah,” James said as she started down the street.
It only took a few steps and he caught up with her as they walked down the narrow sidewalk together. The only light was cast by various porch lights in small pockets, as well as the sliver of a moon above. James felt himself relaxing as he breathed in the cool night air. He always felt more comfortable outside, even if it was in the middle of town.
“How’d the run go?” Alexis asked, breaking the silence after they’d walked for a minute or so.
“Good,” James responded, glad to get out of his mind. “We found quite a few supplies in one of the towns and even a working gas station.”
“I hear those are becoming increasingly rare,” she stated.
“They are. Most have lost power, and it’s going to make heading north even more difficult.”
“Dad thinks we can stay here. It’s safe, and it’s sounding like the government might be able to get this whole thing under control.”
“Yeah, so they say.”
“You don’t believe them?”
She glanced over at him as they continued to walk, side by side. James almost stumbled when his eyes met hers, and his heart gave a small leap in his chest.
Get it together! he chided himself.
“I don’t know,” he said. “It’s just hard to wrap my mind around. Nine days ago we thought the whole world was falling apart. Now we hear it’s not that bad. It just doesn’t register with all I saw out there.”
“They said the western states got hit a lot worse. The east coast wasn’t nearly as affected.”
“That’s what they’ve said, but then why are they still here? Why not just get everyone east where it’s safe?’”
“That’s a good point,” Alexis said as they arrived at the last block before hitting the western fence.
They turned north, passing by a large open lot to their right with a couple of houses to their left. After walking awhile in silence, James realized it wasn’t nerve-wracking like before; it was almost comfortable. They didn’t need to talk to enjoy each other’s company. Something clicked in his mind. He didn’t know what it was or even how to explain it, but something just felt right. It gave him the courage to continue.
“How was cooking today?” James asked as they turned to the right, following a different street back to the east.
“It was fine,” Alexis said.
“It smells like you burnt something again.”
“Really? I still smell like crispy noodles? I spent fifteen minutes in the shower washing my hair!”
James leaned over and sniffed her hair.
“Yep, still smells like you set somethin’ on fire.” He smiled, and then realized how weird it was that he’d just sniffed her hair. His smiled faded, and when she glanced over, the look on his face caused her to burst out laughing.
“That look,” Alexis said, giggling.
“What? Was it that obvious?”
“You looked like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar.”
“Oh.”
“Lighten up, James. No need to be so stiff.”
“I just haven’t spent much time around…”
He didn’t finish the statement. Why was he acting so weird now? Hadn’t he just been thinking how right it felt?
“Women?” Alexis supplied.
“Yeah.”
“That’s okay.” She smiled over at him. “It makes you sincere.”
“I feel like it makes me weird.”
“A little, but being weird hasn’t ever hurt anyone.”
Her smile was infectious, and soon he was smiling along with her.
“I guess that’s true,” James said.
They turned south on Third Street, heading back towards her house. If he didn’t make his move soon, he’d miss the perfect opportunity. His mind battled with his heart and his hands began to sweat. Why was asking one simple question so hard? Probably because he was offering her a small piece of his heart and she had the ability to crush it. He was under no illusion that he already loved her, but he did have strong feelings, and if she said no, it’d be devastating. In his life up to this point, he’d just avoided situations that gave others that kind of power over him. It was safest. But now nothing was safe, and since this could quite possibly be the last time he saw her alive, he’d be damned if he chickened out now.
“Alexis?” James asked.
“Yes,” she said, stopping and turning to face him.
Oh, hell, James thought. Why’d she have to do that?
He felt like he was standing in the path of a charging grizzly bear, unarmed and naked. It would’ve been a lot easier if they’d kept walking and he didn’t have to look into those gorgeous hazel eyes. She’d stopped in one of the few pools of light on this block and he could see her face—the way her brunette hair caressed her cheeks, the small dimples that formed when she was about to smile, and those lips. His gaze snapped back up to her eyes. He would not succumb to her charm, not right now. He had a
mission to complete. Staring her in the eyes, he leapt from the cliff, praying he could fly.
“Will you go out on a date with me?” James said, the nervousness gone from his voice, replaced by determination.
The growing smile on her face told him the answer before she even spoke, and his heart began to soar. Maybe he did have wings.
“I’d love to,” Alexis said. “What’d you have in mind?”
“I honestly haven’t given much thought to it. I’ve been trying to work up the courage just to ask,” James said, smiling from ear to ear.
“Were you scared of me?”
“More so than anything in my life.”
The sincerity with which he said it made her laugh, and he joined in. All he’d faced, yet asking her out had been the most frightening thing he’d ever done. He had some serious issues. They arrived at South Avenue and turned back towards her house, the porch light shining in the distance.
“When will this date be?” Alexis asked.
He hadn’t given much thought to that either. He was still shocked that she’d said yes.
“How about tomorrow night? Seven o’clock?”
“That sounds perfect.”
They arrived at her house and she went up to the porch while James stayed at the bottom of the steps. She turned around and smiled down at him. By all things holy, she was beautiful.
“I’ll see you tomorrow night,” James said.
“Goodnight, James.”
“Night, Alexis.”
She gave him one last smile before opening the door and entering her house. James stood outside for a few minutes, his mind unable to process what had just happened. He turned and jumped as he saw a shadow walking towards him from across the street. His hand slipped to his hip where his 1911 handgun was holstered, but he calmed quickly as he recognized the man walking towards him.
“Evening, sir,” James said.
“Evening,” Emmett said, walking up to James. “I heard the run went well today.”
“Yes, sir,” James said. “We were able to find a stash of food and scout out those towns.”
“Good job. I’m glad to see you and your brother are doing better. This break from being out there seems to be fixing you right up.”
“Yes, sir.”
James didn’t want to tell him the truth. The downtime was tearing him apart inside, not making him better. But maybe that was what he needed in order to get closure and prepare for the rest of the trip. They still had a long way to go.
“Well, you have a good night, son,” Emmett said, “and enjoy your free day tomorrow. We have a lot of work ahead of us.”
“Yes, sir, I will,” James said as Emmett continued on his way. “And sir?”
Emmett turned around. “Yes?”
“I hope it’s okay with you, but I asked your daughter out on a date.”
Emotions flashed across Emmett’s face too fast for James to follow. Finally, Emmett gave a small smile and walked back to stand face to face with James. It registered in James’s mind that he was a dead man. What had he done? But just as quickly, the irrational fear faded, and he stood up straight and looked Emmett in the eyes.
“I see,” Emmett began. “I think you’ve been around me enough so I don’t have to give you the tough-dad speech. You already know that if anything happens to my daughter, I’ll leave you bleeding in a ditch. You also already know that her safety is my biggest priority in all I do. You know all that, and I know you know that. So I’ll just say this—treat my daughter with the respect she deserves and protect her with your own life.”
“I will, sir,” James said.
“I know you will. That’s the only reason I’m allowing this. I trust you.”
“Thank you, sir. I won’t let you down,” James said, reaching out his hand.
“Make sure you don’t,” Emmett said, taking James’s hand in a firm grip and giving it a shake. “Now, get some shuteye.”
“I will. Night, sir.”
Emmett gave him a pat on the shoulder and walked to the house. He opened the door and walked inside, not looking back. James went down the street towards his place, an assortment of emotions swirling within him. The meeting with Emmett had somewhat dulled the elation he’d felt before. There was responsibility in taking this on. Maybe it would be just one date and after tomorrow night they’d go back to being friends, but he doubted that. If things did continue, he’d have another person close to him that he’d have to protect with his life. But he’d always felt that way about her, so things weren’t changing that much. After another block, the pure joy of it caught up with him and he practically skipped back to their place to tell the guys.
6
Training
Post-outbreak day 18
Alexis awoke to her first alarm and sat up in bed, wide awake. Today was a big day, for more reasons than one. It was her first day at her new job, and tonight was her date with James. She thought about their walk the night before, and it still surprised her that he’d finally asked. She’d wanted him to, of course, but with the way he’d been acting lately, she hadn’t been sure he ever would. Then, when he’d asked with such confidence, he’d suddenly been the same man who’d taken charge of the survivors in Burns. Given his actions in that situation, she sometimes forgot that he was only twenty-one, just a year older than she was.
Climbing out of bed, she dressed and got ready for work. She wasn’t sure what to wear so she opted for a tan pair of cargo-style pants and a tank top. If yesterday was any indication, it would be hot and sunny again today. She decided to grab a plaid button-up shirt in case the infirmary had AC. She was out the door and heading to HQ by seven-thirty. It was always better to show up early rather than late, although she more often tended to do the latter like her mother. Thinking about her mom brought up emotions buried deep within her, and she had to spend the five-minute walk getting them back under control.
She stopped outside the catwalk that led to the second floor of the Border Services building. Two soldiers stood out front. It was nice to see that both the Marines and the Army had a presence there and were working together, but it also didn’t bode well for how things were going beyond the fence.
“Morning, ma’am,” one of the soldiers said. Hines was the name on his tag.
“Morning, Hines,” she said, smiling. “I’m here to get my ID for working in the infirmary. Not sure who I’m supposed to meet though.”
“You must be Alexis Wolfe,” the other one, Donn, said.
“Yes, sir,” she said.
“Right this way,” Hines said, opening the door for her.
“Thank you,” Alexis said as she stepped inside.
He took the lead and led her to the offices on the north side of the building. She walked down the hall behind the soldier, watching as a few men and women walked in and out of the doors lining each side. It was surprising that she saw very little military presence in the town proper, with the exception of the three barracks they had set up, along the fence, and here. None of them seemed to go into town besides the odd patrol here or there. They didn’t mix with civilians such as herself unless someone had a job that required them to work together. They didn’t intentionally keep everyone separated, did they?
“Right here, ma’am,” Hines said, stopping outside a door and knocking.
She read the name on the door—Captain Miller, her dad’s old squad mate. The captain responded from inside and Hines opened the door, ushering her in. She entered the threshold and stood just inside as Hines closed the door behind her. The man sitting behind the desk had gray hair at his temples and an exhausted air about him. From what her dad had said, this man was in charge of the day-to-day running of the town while another man, Captain Sanders, was in charge of the military operations. Colonel Briggs was in charge of all of them, but she’d never seen the man.
“Morning, Ms. Wolfe,” Cpt. Miller said, looking up from his paperwork. Even in his exhausted state
his eyes were sharp and alert.
“Morning, Cpt. Miller,” Alexis said, walking farther in and sitting down in a chair.
“You need an ID card for the infirmary, correct?” Cpt. Miller asked.
“Yes, sir.”
“Good, take this,” he said, handing her the paperwork. “This is a contract. Read through it and then sign.”
“You don’t mind?” she asked, looking at the twenty or so pages.
“Not at all. I’m used to signing everything that’s dropped in front of me, but we expect you to know what’s in that and agree to it.”
“Perfect,” Alexis said, beginning to stand.
“You can stay in here, Ms. Wolfe. I’ll just be reading over and signing my own paperwork,” Cpt. Miller said kindly.
Alexis settled in. Halfway through, a nagging feeling began to grow in her stomach. Most of the first half was a basic kind of doctor-patient confidentiality stuff, but now it was beginning to talk about what happened inside the infirmary. She couldn’t share what she did, saw, or heard, and she had to follow orders as if she was actually in the military. It wasn’t like a normal hospital, and there was even a part of the contract that said if she was infected she forfeited her right to live. They took this very seriously, and it left her a little uneasy.
“Is all this really necessary?” Alexis asked when she’d finished reading. “I mean, why can’t I talk to others about what happens inside the infirmary?”
“For the most part, it doesn’t matter,” Cpt. Miller said. “But then there are those few cases when people are infected and have to be… put down. It wouldn’t be good if people went around telling everyone else that we were killing people. Then no one would go to the infirmary and the first person to be infected in town would cause havoc.”
That made sense, but she didn’t like it. Not at all. “You just ‘put them down?’”
“It’s only happened once, to one of my men. He wanted it that way. All this is more theoretical. You won’t have to do it if it ever comes to that. Someone else will handle it. Plus, I don’t think it’s much of a possibility. We have some highly-skilled doctors on staff and few people come back infected.” The way he said the last part had her questioning if they let anyone come back who’d been infected. “If you’d like to change your mind, there’ll be no hard feelings. You can always go back to the kitchen. I know Cook always needs help.”
Bad Company Page 4