by Sybil Bartel
I didn’t know if I wanted to smile. “I’m your friend now?”
She ignored my question. “You know where I live,” she rasped.
“And you’re about to find out where I live. Slow breaths,” I reminded her.
“I knew your old place.”
I was still pissed about the one time Marcus had brought her over. I didn’t say shit.
“You’re mad.”
“I’m not.”
She called me out on my bullshit. “Your arms tensed when I mentioned your old place.”
I exhaled. “It was a shit place in an even shittier part of town. It wasn’t safe for you to be there. Not to mention, it was a dump.”
She almost smiled. “You swore.”
Christ. “I swear a lot.” A whole fucking lot.
“Not usually in front of me.”
Because when Helen was alive, she’d reamed me and Marcus out every time we swore. Unlike her son, I tried to watch it in front of Elyssia. “I’m not perfect.”
She looked down and her voice got quiet. “Pretty close,” she whispered.
“Elyssia—”
“Won’t your girlfriend be upset you’re bringing me to your place?”
I wasn’t a fucking saint. I’d been with a lot of women. But I’d never had a girlfriend. I’d never wanted one. No one had ever measured up to the quiet brunette in my arms who smiled like a sunrise whenever she saw me. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“The band has a lot of fans,” she countered.
She’d never asked me about a girlfriend, or the groupies. “Fans pay the bills.” The elevator doors opened on the top floor, and I strode to my front door.
“And groupies make touring fun.”
My jaw ticked at her insinuation. “If you have a question, ask.”
She glanced over my shoulder. “There’s only one apartment on this floor?”
“Yes.” Still holding her, my keys in my hand, I let us into my place. Then I set her down, punched in the alarm code, and flicked on a few lights.
Her gaze took in the hardwood floors, the modern kitchen, the furniture in the living room and the wall of glass opposite us. “I didn’t know Ocala had any condos like this.”
It didn’t until I’d paid Neil to build the place. He’d told me I was wasting my money putting in a luxury condo building in a small town. I didn’t care. I’d wanted a home base near her, and I didn’t want to have to deal with a house while I was on the road. Turned out I wasn’t the only one who’d wanted a condo downtown. The six other units had sold before construction was complete, and I’d made enough money off the place to buy the Miami Beach condo.
“Come on.” I took her hand.
She didn’t pull away, but she was still taking everything in. “The band must be doing really well.”
“I can’t complain.” I led her down the hall toward my bedroom, but when I pushed open the door, she froze.
Her hand went to the doorframe. “What are you doing?”
I didn’t think. I saw her hand gripping the frame like she needed help standing, and I picked her back up. Three strides and I placed her on my bed as gently as possible. The white down comforter swallowed her small frame, and I dropped her bag on the floor. “I’m putting you to bed.” I took her leg and pulled first one boot then the other off and forced myself to let go of her.
She watched with stunned silence, then she cleared her throat. “I’m not sleeping in your bed.”
“I’m taking the couch, Elyssia.” But I sure as fuck didn’t want to.
Rigid like she was stiff with nerves, she didn’t move.
“Relax,” I commanded.
For a second, she looked like she was holding her breath. Then the tension in her muscles released and she curled onto her side.
I was a dominant fuck, both in the bedroom and out. But around Elyssia, I’d always tried to temper it. She was so damn sweet, I’d never wanted to scare her away. And right now, she was testing my restraint more than she ever had. She looked so damn beautiful and submissive in my bed, I needed to walk the fuck away before I laid down next to her and forgot she was injured.
“Stay.” The single barked command was no less of an order than the last shit that’d come out of my mouth, so I forced myself to rein in my tone. “I’ll be right back.”
Her eyes searched mine, but she didn’t say a word.
Jesus, she was going to test me. Pulling my phone out, I strode to the kitchen and called Talon.
He answered on the first ring. “She okay?”
She was fucking beat to hell, and now she was upset she was at my place and not home with her asshole brother. No, she wasn’t okay. “She’s still the same. When will you be here?”
“On my way.”
I gave him the gate code. “Front door’s unlocked.” I started to hang up.
“Hey, you find out who did this?”
“No.” Not yet.
“You got any leads?”
“No.” But I had a fucking idea.
“Best guess?”
I looked down the hall before heading out on the balcony. “I’m thinking one of her brother’s MMA friends. She didn’t tell her brother what happened, and they’re close. It makes sense. He’s overprotective. If he knew, he’d go after whoever did this and he wouldn’t stop.” Marcus had always been aggressive, but when it came to his sister, or his mom when she was alive, he was protective to the point of being fucking lethal.
Talon exhaled. “Listen, I just wanted you to know the doc said she wasn’t violated. She refused a rape kit.”
I ground my jaw. “Thanks.”
“Regardless, she’s still beat to hell. You let me know if you want company going after who did this.”
When I found out who did this, I wasn’t handing it off to anyone. I was going to take care of the motherfucker. “I’ll handle it.”
“Open-ended offer. I’m a few minutes out.”
“Let yourself in. We’re in the bedroom at the end of the hall.” The only bedroom, because I’d converted the second one into a practice room.
“Got it.” Talon hung up.
I grabbed water and an ice pack and was heading back to my bedroom when my cell vibrated with a text.
Marcus: Where the fuck is my sister? If you touch her, I’m going to kill you
I fired off a response.
Me: What the fuck is wrong with you?
His response was almost immediate.
Marcus: You and your rock star bullshit. Leave Sia alone. Where the fuck is she? She isn’t answering her phone. Bring her home. NOW
Anger seethed as my thumbs flew across the screen.
Me: Maybe you should ask yourself why the hell she isn’t home right now.
I didn’t have time to think about how I was breaking a promise to her with that text. Marcus’s response was even more disturbing.
Marcus: Why? What the fuck did she tell you?
What a self-centered asshole. Was he fucking blind?
Me: Nothing. She didn’t have to. You need help, Marcus.
He needed more help than she could give him. I was contemplating turning off my phone when he sent another text.
Marcus: Fuck you. Give me my sister back. Quit trying to get between us every goddamn time you’re around.
What the hell was he talking about?
Me: You’re the one causing the fucking conflict. I’m not doing shit except looking out for her.
Marcus: You fucking liar
Me: Get help. She doesn’t deserve to put up with your anger.
Marcus: I’m only angry when a rocker asshole tries to take advantage of my sister!
Me: We both know that’s bullshit.
Marcus: What’s bullshit is you taking her to your overpriced fucking condo so you can fuck her then leave her in the dust when you go back on tour to fuck all those groupies
Fuck this.
Me: What’s fucking bullshit is how you have zero grasp of reality. Get fucking help. Until then, we�
�re done.
I shut my phone off and walked to my bedroom.
LYING ON MY SIDE, I closed my eyes. A second, a minute, an hour later, something cold pressed against my back, and I made a sound of protest.
“Shh, it’s just an ice pack.” Ben’s hand slipped under my neck and my head was lifted. “Here.” He touched a water bottle to my lips. “Drink.”
His gaze, so intense it was almost angry, made me shiver as the cold water ran down my throat. I reached for the bottle to take over and our fingers touched. Goose bumps raced across my flesh.
Ben stared at my lips as he withdrew his hand from the bottle. “Marcus texted. He’s fine.”
I choked on the water. “What did he say?”
Ben pulled the bottle away and the frown lines between his eyes deepened. “Nothing I care to repeat. I just wanted to let you know he was awake and okay.”
Marcus wasn’t okay. I was starting to doubt he would ever be okay again, but relief that he’d been in contact with Ben, no matter what he’d said, was enough to make me take a breath. I didn’t respond to Ben, because I didn’t know what to say. I was embarrassed for what I’d said earlier about him taking me away from Marcus, like I wasn’t old enough to make my own decisions, but I also wasn’t sorry I’d said it.
Ben sat on the edge of the bed and pressed the bottle to my lips again. “Drink. Talon should be here soon.” He picked up the ice pack that had slipped off and gently held it to my back.
No one had done something like this for me since before my mother had gotten sick. Marcus cooked for me and he’d bought me a car, but actually taking care of me when I hurt? He’d always pretended like nothing was wrong.
I drank the water, then turned all the way back on my side, facing away from Ben. “Thank you for the ice.”
“You’re welcome. How’s your breathing?”
“Better.”
Ben inhaled and let it out slow. “I don’t want you to lie to me, or give me answers you think I want to hear.”
“I wasn’t.” My breathing was better now that I was lying down.
He moved the ice pack to another spot on my back and changed the subject. “Do you want to talk about Marcus?”
“No.”
Silence.
I pulled my legs closer, curling into a fetal position, acutely aware of Ben behind me.
“Do you want to put something else on to sleep in?”
Shoot. “I forgot pajamas,” I admitted.
I felt the bed shift as he got up, then I heard some movement before clothes were placed in front of me. “I’ll step outside for a moment.”
When I heard the door close, I picked up the clothes. Soft gray sweats and a T-shirt. I gingerly peeled off my jeans, took my blouse off and pulled the sweats up. I had to roll the waist several times, then I slipped the T-shirt over my head. I was staring at the writing on the T-shirt when a knock sounded on the door.
“Come in.” It was a shirt from my last karate tournament. A tournament I’d taken first place at.
Ben strode into the room, and with a single quick glance my way, he turned down the covers. “Lie down.”
Did he choose this shirt on purpose? Had he always been this bossy? I crawled into the bed and the scent of him increased by a thousand. Inhaling, pretending I didn’t feel secure with him making all the decisions, I sank further into the pillows. I didn’t know pillows could be this soft. I was ready for something in my life to feel this soft, but even the thought made me feel guilty.
As if he could read my thoughts, Ben frowned. “Talon will be here soon with your prescription.”
“It’s fine. I’m okay.” I felt guilty being here when Marcus was alone. He hated being alone. “I should call Marcus.” But I shamefully didn’t want to.
“I’ll text him later.” Ben pulled the covers up over me.
I should’ve texted Marcus, but my body was shutting down and it was hard to keep my eyes open.
Ben sat back on the edge of the bed. “Stop worrying about him right now.” He smoothed my hair off my forehead and let the strands run through his fingers. “Get some sleep.”
My heart raced and my breath turned short again. Ben didn’t ever touch me like that. Something was shifting, or maybe it already had. I stared at his hand, not knowing what to say or do.
Slow, assured, his hand turned over, palm up.
As if my body knew what my heart fought, I reached out.
Ben threaded our fingers together.
I exhaled the first full breath since last night that didn’t hurt to the point of tears. “Thank you,” I whispered.
“I’m concerned.”
The exhaled breath stuck in my lungs, and I tried to pull my hand back, but he didn’t let me.
“I have to be back on the road in a few days.”
“So you said.” I needed to give him a plausible lie, and soon. He wasn’t going to let this go.
His thumb stroked across my knuckles, then his words took my breath. “I want you to come with me.”
My heart leapt, but then crushing reality made tears well and I turned away from his weighted stare. I’d wanted to hear those words from Ben the second his band booked its first tour. I’d wanted to be so important to him, he couldn’t leave without me. I’d wanted to be his. But I wasn’t, and he’d never asked, and now he was only saying what he was saying because I was hurt.
I swallowed past the lump in my throat and forced the next words out. “You don’t owe me anything because my mother took you in.”
He grasped my chin and brought my face back to his. “I’m angry at you for coming to class injured. I’m pissed that you didn’t tell me about Marcus sooner, but I’m outraged to hear those last words come out of your mouth.” His nostrils flared as he took a breath. “I don’t want to ever hear you say that again. Understand?”
Stunned, I nodded.
“Answer me, Elyssia,” he demanded.
“I understand.”
His grip on my chin tightened. “You are not an obligation to me. You never have been.” His hand squeezed mine. “Stop trying to push me away.”
A silent tear ran down my face.
His intake of breath was audible before he abruptly released my hand, roughly swiped at the tear, then stood. “Get some rest.”
I closed my eyes, praying I didn’t fall apart, or worse, try to kiss him again.
The bedroom door softly closed, and I exhaled.
I didn’t think I could fall asleep, but the next thing I knew, something was tickling my nose. Too tired to open my eyes, I heard Talon speak in a muted tone.
“Her breathin’s worse.”
“She had an emotional setback.” Ben’s voice was deeper than Talon’s.
“Setback? Is that what you’re callin’ the beatin’ she took, a setback?”
“I’m working on it.”
“Workin’ on what? Lettin’ her run scared and hide? If you ain’t gonna hunt with the big dogs, stay on the fuckin’ porch, my friend. She needs a solution, not a damn shoulder to cry on.”
“I said I’m working on it.”
Talon snorted. “Gimme two hours, and I’ll find out who did this.”
“No. I’m not breaking her trust like that.”
“Hate to tell you, Wonderboy, but trust is about the last thing you got from her right now. She’s skittish as hell, and rightfully so. End this shit.”
“Let it go,” Ben warned.
“Right, like you’re lettin’ it go? I’m not the one bein’ a pussy.”
“Language,” Ben quietly snapped.
Talon let out a muted snort. “Oh man, you got it bad. Never woulda thought it. It’s always the quiet ones you gotta watch out for.”
“Screw you.”
“I’m all good, thanks.” Talon quietly chuckled. “But nice language.”
I stirred and something pulled on my face. I reached up, but a hand covered mine. I blinked my eyes open.
Ben’s serious gaze was trained on me. “I
t’s just the oxygen, Elyssia. Leave it.”
“Hey, darlin’.”
I glanced at Talon. “Hi.” My voice sounded raspy.
Talon smiled and shook out a pill from a bottle. “You ever get tired of Wonderboy usin’ your full name, just let me know.” He handed me the pill. “I’ll fix you up with a good nickname. In fact…” He looked at Ben and grinned. “I reckon I got one that’ll suit you just fine.” Talon looked back at me and winked. “Let me know when you’re ready to hear it.” He turned serious. “This is a strong painkiller. Only take it every four to six hours if you need it. Opiate painkillers can suppress your breathin’, so let me or Wonderboy know immediately if that happens. Okay?” He picked up my wrist to check my pulse.
“Okay.” Ben handed me the bottle of water, and I nodded my thanks before taking the pill. I hated this attention. I wasn’t ungrateful, but I hated it nonetheless.
Talon set my wrist down after a minute then looked at Ben. “I’m out. Take care of your girlfriend, and if you need anythin’, call.”
“Thanks, man.” They shook hands and slapped each other on the back, but Ben didn’t correct him on the girlfriend comment.
Talon smiled down at me. “Later, darlin’. Rest up. You’re gonna be just fine.”
“Thanks,” I whispered.
Talon left, and Ben checked on a small device on the nightstand that the plastic tubing giving me air was connected to. He adjusted something, then sat on the edge of the bed.
I glanced at the machine. “I didn’t need all this.”
“Yes you did. You’ll breathe easier now.”
He was right, so I didn’t argue. “I’m not going on tour with you.” I needed to get everything out. Everything except why I was here in the first place.
Ben broke from his stoic demeanor, dropped his head to his hands and pushed his fingers through his hair. “Elyssia.” Inhaling, he closed his eyes, but he didn’t say any more.
Never having seen him at a loss for words, I stared at his hands. Long fingers, strong wrists, veins running up and across the tendons, even his hands were beautiful. And they’d touched me more in the past few hours than the last eight years.
Ben looked back up and the intensity of his gaze cut straight to my heart. “I’ve never asked you for anything.” He studied me a moment. “This once, I’m asking. Please come on the rest of the tour with me.” Quiet and formal, his last sentence made my heart skip.