Rolling my eyes, I pushed the door open. “Well, fuck it. Let’s just get this shit over with.”
I started toward the building, and heard him stepping up behind me. “Wait,” he insisted, as he grabbed my hand. I stood there for a second just staring at him. “What?” he furrowed his brows, as he interlocked our fingers. “Come on, let’s go.”
I allowed him to guide me into the building, and he stood there with me the entire time. When I woke up that day I had no clue that it would end like this. I was going to rehab…with Kaydoa by my side. Who would’ve thought?
Chapter 31
Black Reign
“Bye, Jasmine,” Mary, waved. She was this ugly chick from Detroit. She was infamous for her sarcasm that she tried to dress up as intelligence, and everybody hated to see her coming. She was going in on everybody, and she even tried me. Until one night I caught her ass in the hall, and hemmed that nappy headed bitch up. Now, I didn’t have no problems out the hoe.
“Bye, old lady,” I waved, being funny. I’d been telling her since the moment I saw her that she looked older than twenty-six, which was the age she claimed she was.
“Bitch you messy,” Jazel giggled. Yeah, that’s right. My girl had come to the same facility as me to get herself right. I respected her so much for that, because she wasn’t on papers, and had come on her own free will.
“And you know this,” I patted my hair, as we headed to the parking lot. I’d spoken to Ryah briefly over the phone, and she claimed that she was gonna come pick me up.
“You see your sister?” Jazel questioned, as we stepped outside.
My eyes scanned the lot, and there was no sign of Ryah, but I did see my baby…with her daddy. I slowly smiled.
“What?” Jazel nudged me. “You see her?”
“No,” I waved my head, as I watched Kaylah and Kaydoa approach us.
“Mama!” she ran up to me, and I quickly took her into my arms.
“Hey, mama’s baby,” I sniffled, as I swung her around.
“We missed you,” Kaylah giggled.
Kaydoa stood there with a grin on his face. “You alright?”
“Yeah,” I barely got out, as he wrapped his arms around me and Kaylah. For a long while we just stood there, holding each other.
“Ah umm,” Jazel cleared her throat.
Finally, I pulled away. “What’s up?” I asked her.
“Who’s the dude?” she mumbled.
I sniggled. “Oh, girl, this is my baby daddy, Kaydoa.”
Her smile brightened. “Ooh, this is Kaydoa,” her eyes examined him from head to toe. “Damn, Black Reign. Now, a bitch finally understands ya plight. BD is the muthafuckin’ truth. You lucky you my girl,” she winked. “Let me go. There go my crazy ass mama.”
I laughed at her crazy ass. “Alright. Call me!”
She nodded, as she strolled over to her mama’s Lexus. “You know I will.”
“Come on, you ready to burn?” Kaydoa asked.
Nodding slowly, I grinned. “Yep.”
******
“There my bitch go,” Monay greeted me, as I stepped into my house.
“What’s up?” I hugged her.
“Just glad to see you home. I missed your ass,” she whispered.
“I missed you too.”
“Okay, now, give ya sister a hug,” Ryah barged in, pulling me into her arms.
I went from person to person, giving them hugs. My mama and Hurt were there too. For hours we sat around talking, and they all told me how they were there to support me one hundred percent. I definitely felt reassured, and I was grateful that nobody attempted to bash me, or make me feel even more fucked up about the choices I’d made.
It was after midnight, when everybody decided to go home. I was actually thinking that I’d spend my first night home from rehab alone. But when Kaydoa laid Kaylah in my bed I knew that I’d thought wrong. I was able to snuggle with my baby, until I drifted off into a deep sleep.
I woke up the next morning to a empty bed. I was feeling a little sad, thinking that Kaydoa had slipped her out of my bed and went home. So I was caught off guard, when I headed downstairs and heard cartoons playing in the living room. There on my couch was Kaylah, and Kaydoa. He was sitting in a wife beater and basketball shorts, while Kaylah wore Mini Mouse pajamas.
“What you watching, Kaylah?” I asked, as I stepped around the couch, and sat next to her.
“The Odd Parents,” she spoke clearly, as she remained focused on the TV.
I nodded, as I glanced at Kaydoa. “She’s not going to daycare today?”
He waved his head. “Nah, I figured you wanted to chill wit her for a few.”
I smiled. “Yeah, I do,” I fidgeted around nervously. I don’t know why I was feeling that way around him. It was like I was just meeting him or something. “So, are you hungry?” I asked him.
He coolly nodded.
“Well, I’ll make some breakfast.”
“That’s what’s up.”
I eased off the couch, and headed to my kitchen. I might not have been much of a cooker, but I did know how to make breakfast. So immediately, I got busy. Half way through cooking, I thought about my life. If I hadn’t learned anything, I’d realized that idle hands was the devil’s playground. I needed to do something.
“Kaydoa, come here,” I called out to him.
“Huh?” he lifted his brows, as he swaggered into the kitchen.
“Umm,” I bit my bottom lip. “What do you think about me going to school?”
He grinned, as he sat at the island. “That’s what’s up. I’m all for that shit.”
“Yeah?” I glanced up at him.
“Hell, yeah,” he licked his lips. “In fact, I’d pay for the whole thing.”
I waved my head. “You aint gotta do that.”
“I know. But I’m going to, anyway. It’s the least I can do.”
I sighed. “Kaydoa, you don’t owe me nothing.”
“I disagree. I owe you plenty. And I need you to really understand how truly sorry I am for the shit I’ve taken you through. You deserve more than what I’ve given you. And I’m gonna do whatever it is within my power to make it up to you.”
I stared at him, as he stared back.
“So,” I cleared my throat. “What exactly are you sorry for?”
“I’m sorry for making you feel that you were alone. A minute ago I’d promised that I’d never leave you by yourself, and that was a promise I’d intended to keep.”
“But how can you keep that kind of promise? You about to be a married man.”
He scrounged. “Married?” he sat for a second, before he chuckled. “You must be talking about that shit Farrah posted on Facebook. Honestly…I felt like she posted that shit for you to see it. I don’t know who the fuck proposed to her ass, but it wasn’t me. As soon as that shit was brought to my attention I made her take it down.”
My mouth dropped. “She was lying?”
“Hell yeah,” he nodded.
I giggled uncontrollably. Now, that broad was mental.
“Sometimes I think that her ass is crazy,” he continued to laugh. “I know she book smart, and shit, but she aint got a lick of common sense.”
“Wow, that’s crazy,” I uttered, as I became lost within my thoughts. I had nearly lost my mind over a lie. That’s just how thin the fabric of my sanity was. Something like that shouldn’t have been able to shake me so easily. Loving another human being was cool, but I needed to value more than my relationship with a man. At that point I knew that love wasn’t guaranteed, and I needed to be solid, regardless. I had to become more than Jasmine and Kaydoa…for my sanity’s sake.
******
“You hungry?” I asked Kaylah, as I looked at her through my rearview mirror.
“Yes,” she spoke in the sweetest voice.
“Okay, do you want Chick-fil-A?”
“Yeah, chicken tenders!” she boasted.
I waved my head, as I smiled at her. I’d just pick
ed her up from daycare, after getting out of class. I’d been “an” official college student for two months, and I was actually enjoying the feel of it. I’d enrolled in TSU, and had managed to meet a few new friends. I’d decided to retire my hood conquests. Undoubtedly, I was and always would be a hood girl, but I had to explore life outside of the Ward. I was truly embarking on a journey of self-discovery, and I loved it. And I was loving me some Jasmine.
I had been so busy with making up for lost time with my child, and doing homework that I didn’t have time for much else. I’d kick it occasionally, but I hadn’t gotten high, and thankfully had no urges to do so.
Surprisingly to some, Kaydoa had been my hugest support system. He was right there encouraging me to get myself together. I knew that I’d broken a lot of trust when it came to Kaylah, so I was cool with us taking baby steps as far as me keeping her alone. But Kaydoa handled things differently. He didn’t keep us apart at all. In fact, she’d stayed most nights with me…and so did he. No, we wasn’t sleeping together, and honestly he hadn’t even made a pass at me. He was just there for me, when I needed somebody to talk to…to listen.
I was definitely healing from my old wounds, and there was just lingering issue. Keyon. I felt like I’d left everything so unfinished with him. He’d call here, and there, but we hadn’t managed to talk much. So, I was headed to his crib to converse face to face.
After grabbing Kaylah’s food, I pulled into Keyon’s driveway. I gathered my baby, her things, and tracked up to his front door. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach, as I rang his doorbell.
“You here,” he smiled, as he pulled the door open.
“Yeah,” I breathed.
“Well, yall come in,” he insisted, as he stepped aside.
“Hey,” Kaylah waved, as I carried her to his sectional, and sat her down.
“Hey, pretty girl,” Keyon charmed. “What’s your name?”
“Kaylah,” she answered shyly, while her arm was wrapped around mine.
“You pretty just like ya mama,” he told her, before leaning over, whispering in my ear. “But she look more like that nigga.”
I laughed. “That’s what they say. You mad or nah?”
“You funny,” he smirked, as he sat next to me, leaving an appropriate amount of space between us. “So, what’s been up with you?”
“Uh,” I exhaled. “Just going to school, taking care of my baby, staying clean, and getting back adjusted to my home life.”
“That’s what’s up? I’m proud of you for leaving that stuff alone and going back to school, man.”
“I appreciate that,” I admitted. “But what’s been up with you?”
“Man,” he slid his palm across his mouth. “I don’t know if you’d believe me if I told you.”
“Try me.”
“Okay, you remember that annoying broad I told you about?”
I squinted. “I think so.”
“The red head. Remember?”
“Ooh, yeah. I remember her. The one with the thick, cute ass friend.”
“Yeah, yeah. But anyway, she pregnant,” he revealed with his head tilted to the side.
“No?” I gasped. “You bullshitting.”
“Nah,” he waved his head. “No lie. But that aint all.”
“What else, nigga?”
“I smashed her fine ass friend,” he confessed.
My head fell back with laughter. “Nooo, Keyon, you didn’t,” I playfully punched him in the shoulder.
“I couldn’t help it. Jas, ole girl is bad. The only broad fucking with her in the body department is…you.”
I pursed my lips. “Is that right? So, she put it down?”
He stroked his waves. “Man, I can’t front. She put it down. I tried to leave her alone, because I felt bad for doing her girl like that. But I can’t help it. I been stanging it every night. Writing my name all over it.”
I waved my head. “Keyon, you something serious, boy.”
“Hey,” he hunched, throwing his hands up. “You aint want me.”
I cut my eyes at him. “Now, you know it aint like that.”
Just then my cell started ringing. “I’m calling you daddy. I need a daddy.”
“You aint gotta front for me, mama.”
“I’m not,” I claimed, as my cell continued to ring. When I didn’t answer he simply hung up and called again.
“Go ahead and answer that. Don’t mind me,” Keyon persisted.
“I wasn’t trying to, you know…”
“Nah, it’s cool,” he waved his head. “I always answer my phone in front of you. It’s all good.”
I eyed him cautiously. “You sure?”
“Positive.”
I nodded, as I picked up the phone, and answered. “Hello.”
“Hey, what yall doing?” Kaydoa questioned in a chipper tone.
“Nothing. We just left from getting some food.”
“That’s what’s up.”
“Where you at?”
“The hotel. Packing up for my flight.”
“Your flight? I thought you wasn’t coming back until tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I was, but it’s been a change of plans,” he explained. “But anyway, how was school today?”
“It was cool. I gotta get home to do some homework.”
“I feel you.”
“Uh huh,” I sighed. “But I’ma ‘bout to eat this food. I’ll call you back in a little bit.” I lied, attempting to wrap up the conversation. When he’d go out of town we could sometimes stay on the phone for hours.
“Ooh, okay…I love you.”
I glanced at Keyon, who was watching me. I gave him a gentle smile. “I love you too,” I spoke into my phone. “Talk to you in a little bit.”
“Okay, talk to you.” He ended the call.
“Aww, that was sweet,” Keyon teased.
I waved him off. “That’s just my baby daddy.”
“Girl, stop fronting. That nigga love you.”
“Yeah, of course. I’m his child’s mother.”
“Nah,” he waved his head. “I don’t doubt that he loves his daughter. But the love he got for you aint got nothing to do with yall baby.”
“How you know?” I lifted my chin.
“I could see it in his eyes. That nigga wanted to shoot me, when he heard me call you Jasmine. Especially since I knew that only he called you that. You should’ve seen the look on his face,” Keyon tittered.
“You messy,” I nudged him.
“I’m saying, main,” he continued. “But I have to respect it. If I loved any of my BMs the way he loves you, I’d want the next nigga to respect that. And that’s why I stepped back. I aint trying to interfere, cause yall story aint over.”
“What?” I scrounged. “Me and him aint together. He still with that other broad.”
Keyon shook his head. “Come on, Jas. Let’s not play crazy. You and I both know that ole girl is irrelevant. That nigga is in love with you…and you love his ass too. I seen that for my own two eyes. I heard it. So, stop fronting.”
“Whatever,” I grinned, as I thought about what he was saying.
Kaydoa
I pulled up to my daddy’s house. I’d just landed back from Houston, after being in Miami. I couldn’t wait to see my two favorite girls, but first I had to handle this. I hadn’t said much to him over the months. He’d been pleading to talk to me, and I was finally giving him the opportunity. I really had no reason to mad at him, but I couldn’t help how I felt.
“That’s a nice ride you got,” Calvin said from his porch, as he admired my Porsche.
“It’s alright,” I grumbled, as I stepped out of my car.
“Glad you decided to stop by,” he smiled, I marched onto the steps of the porch, and sat down.
“Yeah,” I sighed, as I gazed at the street. “So, what is it that you wanted to talk about?”
“I wanted to clear that air about what went on between me and Jasmine.”
“Man…”
> “Naw,” he cut me off. “Just hear me out.”
“I’m listening.” I kept my back to him.
“Okay,” he cleared this throat. “I messed with her when she was like sixteen. I thought that she was young and fine. But she never looked my way, until I caught up with her one day, after getting paid. I gave her a few hundreds, and we had sex. And then after that I gave her money every time. Honestly, I picked up on the fact that she didn’t like fucking with me, but I ignored it. I think she just needed the money. She was young as hell, and Red Reign could only do so much for those kids. And that’s exactly what she was, Kaydoa. A kid. I was a fully grown man, who had no business fucking with her. She never got nasty with it, either. Just straight protected sex.” He revealed, as I said nothing. “And then I remember how she’d stole my wallet one time,” he chuckled.
I couldn’t help laughing at that shit. I remember when she told me that story of how she’d stolen “Mr. Cee’s” wallet, when neither of us knew she was talking about my daddy. The whole story was funny as hell, and she’d played the fuck out of his ass.
“And don’t you know, that even after she took my shit I tried to mess her with her again? She sent me a text, telling me to do the world a favor and stick my dick in a electrical socket,” he confessed.
I fell over wit laughter. That was Jasmine through and through.
My daddy sat next to me, chuckling. “That girl will say some of the craziest shit.”
“Yeah, she will,” I agreed.
He grew serious. “And after I seen yall together I couldn’t bring myself to tell you the truth. I seen how much you love her, and how much see loves you. I didn’t want to interfere with that. She’s a little wild, but that’s just your speed. She remind me of this girl I used to deal with. My mama couldn’t stand her ass. She would always call her Fast Ass Keisha. Man, Fast Ass Keisha used to blow my mind. You hear me, boy? I was crazy over that girl, but I kept listening to all those people talk about her. So, I would fuck all over her. Eventually, she got tired, and stopped dealing with my ass. And now her ass is a nurse, living in the burbs, married with kids. I missed out on a good one. So, I said that to say, fuck what everybody else got to say. If you love that girl, be with her. Life is too short, and time waits for no man.”
I wiped some grass off my Gucci shoes. “I hear you.”
Shooting Blindly in the Dark Page 34