It was clear which was the true military man, and which the political. And yet Grand Duke Karl ruled here, and throughout much of the western world, but not in Imperial Russia itself, or The Chinas; if he ruled in his own home, or his bedroom, it was by mercy of his wife, who could have him killed with but a single word.
Did that bother him? Did it break him? To be so proud a man, heir of legendary tsars of old, to be at the call of a woman, and his wife to boot? Rumors claimed she had barred him from her bedroom for decades now; other tongues wagged that he would rather tup a horse. Considering some of the pictures I had seen of his taste in mistresses, I had some thoughts about the latter. He graced me pleasantly enough now, and then stood at rest, waiting for me to bow to him.
I bit my pride, and curtsied as best the orphanage had ever taught me how.
He did not acknowledge me, but waited.
I considered standing, but thought better of it. This was another test, or perhaps a rare pleasure for him, to make an allegedly powerful woman grovel before him. He could not due this to his mother, less he loses his claim; to his wife, less he become charred ash. He could, I suppose, command Dame d'Aubigny to do such, but how tight was her leash held?
Five minutes passed, then ten; my legs began to throb, and upon my shoulders Lois and her children grew still, but like predator, not prey. I mentally hushed them, and then drew some slow deep breaths. This was humiliation, but I had born far worse during my service. I could outlast him.
Perhaps another ten minutes passed in exquisite position, when one of the men around me coughed lightly, then spoke in German. The Grand Duke answered in such, then barked some word at me, too fast and low for me to understand.
"Eryma," Dame d'Aubigny spoke "he gives you leave to rise."
I did, and smiled my gratitude. He sneered, and barked more rapid German at Dame d'Aubigny, who translated "And commands you to learn a civilized tongue. We do not speak English or Russian here."
I bowed again, in humility as best I could.
I heard rifles crack, and then something lifted me up and threw me against the crowd, knocking us all down like tenpins. My first instinct was canon fire, my second a bomb. I was wrong.
Dame d'Aubigny had swatted the bullets like so many wasps out of the air, smashed them with her heavy walking stick. She looked around for the shooters, but this densely packed medieval town left enough crenellations to hide the Marines. Behind me, Alessandro had cradled his principal in his arms, shielding the Grand Duke with his body as he rushed West through the parking lot towards the Tower gates and presumed safety.
Time enough for me to show my worth the streets pulsed than blurred into focus, The Imperial Army swarming in all directions, four men in civilian on the roof of the eastern building reloaded their weapons while ahead of Alessandro two others jumped out of a truck and ran crouched down the street....
"Julie!" I Screamed "That roof there, the gunmen! Alessandro stop, that truck is a bomb! Lois, stop them!"
I moved to me feet, and half a dozen Imperial soldiers tackled me back down, not understanding me. I tried to push myself back up, tried to yell for Lois, when a giant slammed its hand against us all. The bomb. Did they hear me? Is Lois all right?? Do they have more than one?!
More voices yelling in German. Some of them men began to climb off me, jerkily. I now knew how pigskin felt. My heart froze for a moment, and then I roughly shoved the rest of the men off me, jerking my head to look for my family.
Grand Duke Aleksandr Mikhailovich strode towards me, with Lois and her children sitting on his arm. I took a sweet breath, then another. Searching upwards, I saw James organizing the local muster in a search pattern above the town. The Grand Duke knocked his shoes and said in halting French. "Madame, his majesty is safe; your warning was timely. My thanks."
His thanks would be worth much, I knew. My family was worth more to me, but I saluted as graciously as I could. A noise from Lois pointed my attention to behind me, where I turned to see Dame d'Aubigny dropping off the three-story brick house roof, a prisoner clutched in one hand by the neck, her mouth wide and chest bellowing from the exertion.
Well, half a prisoner. Possibly only forty percent? Everything below the ribs seemed to be missing, and ropes of entrails twitched behind her like some vermicular tail. Had the woman no sense of decency at all? I understood she was an uncivilized artifact, and French besides, but enough was enough.
I marched towards her, fuming. She laughed, saluted me with her cane, and then broke into a passable waltz, with the corpse arrayed like a suitor. The crowd began to applaud. I was not amused.
"Dame d'Aubigny" I extolled "You cannot possibly be serious. If you wanted a prisoner, why not take one alive? What possible use can half a dead man be?"
"Half a dead woman, actually"
"What? Is she disguised? And why?"
Dame d'Aubigny motioned for me to wait a minute, and then held the remains higher, while cutting the jacket open with a knife. The corpse, thus revealed, had a woman's shape but only scars where her breasts should have been.
A cancer survivor?
The crowd began to argue loudly. Several times I heard a word- Skoptsy. A name of some kind? I put my fists on my hips, and tapped my left foot.
"Skoptsy," Dame d'Aubigny sighed. "Central European religious fanatics. They believe all pleasure is sin, and so cut off their own sexual organs with a razor blade. As such, they consider the Imperial Family the devil herself. Most are pacifists, but some have committed terrorist attacks before. I don't know of them ever doing anything this bold however. They prefer to wait for the end of the world, which they believe will come to them soon."
"After today, very soon, I expect."
"Indeed," She said "His highness is safe?"
"Indeed," I began to shiver," The local birds are in pursuit of the rest of these Skoptsy.... perhaps we shall be in luck."
"Somehow, I doubt that" She said
I looked into her eyes, and we shared a moment of perfect epiphany, as only two born of ancient blood can.
"Food" she said.
I nodded.
"You," I instructed " will due me the courtesy of disposing of that first. And at least wash your hands."
"Of course, why I may even brush my hair first. Under the circumstances, I believe I can swing us an invitation to the Castle. They have most excellent Sauerbraten, and the cheeses are divine."
"That sounds lovely. By all means, let us head for the cheese." I hesitated "Please dear knight, tell me we can get there by some other means than your beastly auto mobile."
Dame Julie only laughed, and held out her arm for me to take.
And so we did. And if my birds amused themselves while I headed to dine by flirting around outside the castle, well, they were naught but birds after all.
CHAPTER FIVE
Miles of soldiers
Interlude:
October 4th, 1908
Personal log, Commander N Portlock, HMS Providence
Outbound from Sanak Islands, Alaska, to San Angelus, California
I have ordered another change of course to be done as dusk falls, with running lights doused, as our pursuer continues to gain upon us despite all our attempts to gain speed. Mr. Chambers, my most experienced hand, has now stated quite plainly the vessel in question is not a pirate, despite her flag and blacked out name, but the CMS Jane Guy, a colonial frigate well known in these waters for her great speed and capable crew.
I fear, if this is true, we shall be sorely outmatched in combat.
I have sent distress signals upon the shortwave, but we remain out of range for any reply.
If we can keep our distance for even seven more hours....
But this is insane! Considering how badly we thrashed the colonialists in their last rebellion, to try again? How many cities must we burn?
And my poor Providence is no military target of great worth, starting a war over a transport? If they hope for some treasure I trust they will find
joy in our load of socks, winter jackets, and uniform trousers.
No, despite her speed, this must be some sort of pirate. War would be insane.
And those damned devil birds keep behind us. Carrion crows, they can smell a feast somehow....
Hmm
“...., Schloss Drachenberg, Personal villa of Grand Duke Karl Peter Ulrich, Constructed in 1882- 1884 as the personal estate of one Baron Stephan von Sarter, banker and investor, then gifted to the Grand Duke by the Baron's wife after his untimely death.... Well known for its romantic design, impractical towers, Neo Gothic revival ceilings, and Greek and Roman classical tasteless but erotic nude statuary...."
" My dead Eryma?"
"Yes, Dame Julie?" I glanced from my pamphlet.
"You can stop reading the tourist brochure, we are almost there. I suspect it is possible I may have been here before, as well.... And lastly, no brochure writer would ever dare refer to the Grand Duke's gardens as tasteless." She smirked.
"But are they tasteless?" I asked.
"Utterly. No rhyme or reason to anything he collects; Only what amuses or arouses him. One would think that by age 190 or so, He would have grown either refined or blasé about the whole thing, but he just had a new fountain piece put in last month involving three rather flabby female nudes and a well-endowed squirrel. At least it was Venetian marble this time, and done with some skill. Sometimes I think he likes the ugly pieces the best."
She banked the auto mobile off the main street and turned into a well wooded cobbled stone street, heading up a hill. The stones rattled under our tires, and I had to wonder, “if the castle was modern, why not the road as well? "
"Well" Dame Julie replied " It is modern, but built to look ancient, or perhaps, a romantic dream of ancient. The outer walls at least looks like real castle walls, the inner.... Well I suspect one would not require an army to take it. The girl guides would suffice. There is, however, a real castle built quite close by; Burg Drachenfels."
"Oh, how interesting. Will I have time to view it?"
"Indeed, you can see it from here if you crane your neck a bit.... There, that gray stone ruin above? That is it."
I adjusted my hat and peered as safely as I could in the rollicking auto mobile from hades, and saw two jagged pieces of stone jutting above the dark green pine trees. Neither looked anything like a castle, even I could tell that much.
"Dame Julie, you must be fooling me. That is a rock." I said.
"Indeed Ma Reine, and a rock is what you get after 300 years of war followed by 600 more of people stealing the stones to build roads; why, it is entirely possible we are driving over the throne room right now. Or the middens. Take that insight as a point of philosophy or prophecy as you wish.... All our dreams shall someday be naught else but someone else's gravel." Dame Julie answered.
"It somehow lacks the poignancy of "Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair" I started, and would have said more, but we at last crested the final turn and began the straight into the castle itself. White stone walls, about thirty feet high; with a red stone central house in the middle, perhaps three stories, and a very large round wooden door, set open, through which people were walking back and forth. The house was quite attractive, almost charming, with decorative arches and well set glass windows, but still.... Small, or too small, at least, for the ruler of Germany and Northern Europe.
Dame Julie pulled to the left, into a parking area, and blessings be upon all divines, gods, saints, and elder things lurking in squamous places, we at last stopped. I moaned twice before getting out, hand on the door, and straightening my clothes. A slight of shadow from above warned me, and I stepped aside quickly just as James was about to land on my shoulder again, leaving him to back flap quickly before almost smacking onto the ground.
"Foiled." He croaked.
"Ha" I crowed.
"Sigh" Lois covered her eyes with her wing
"Ahem" Dame Julie ahem'd " But we may wish to continue on, if you wish to not be late for dinner." And she gestured towards the central door.
"But of course, Dame," I began to walk there, boots clicking on the cobble stones " Is this to be an intimate dinner? How will all the Grand Duke's officers fit in this small a building?"
Dame Julie stopped. Looked at me. Then at the building, then at me, her eyes crinkling in amusement. "This is not the castle."
"Oh?" I looked around seeing only vast trees above the wall
"No." She smirked her leopard's smirk. "That is the tourist gift shop. Also, the bistro- they have excellent cream cheese cakes, with those little candied fruits on them- and very tightly cut uniforms for the young ladies on their serving staff."
“....with little candied fruits in them?" I asked
If it was possible, she smirked even harder, and waved me on.
I obeyed my knightly command, and walked on into the red stone lined tunnel; a quick glance at the windows set by the side stopped me. I walked in closer, stuck my eyes right up to the glass, stepped back, huffed on the glass, wiped it with my jacket, and peered again. The horror did not change in the least.
"Dame Julie?'"
"Your colonial highness?"
"Do.... They.... Allow children in this gift shop? With those statues for sale? And is one of them of you??" I pointed.
"Several, in fact. I am quite the figure of romance, you know.... Ah! The Rodin. I am quite proud of that one. He made me look almost heroic. Oh to the left, the two kneeling women.... I am the taller, and it is by Claudel."
"I suppose you were young and in desperate need of funds?"
"Does age 290 count? And why are you trying to delay?"
"Me?" I tried to look innocent. I may have failed.
"You" Dame Julie said, placing her hand upon my arm, pulling me through the end of the tunnel.
Leaving the darkness of the tunnel, the later afternoon sun blinded me for a moment; but then cut through the edges like blades, showing high castle towers- the tallest a good eight or nine or stories- Gothic vaults, large open window, three no four floors in the main hall, a wide-open entry green, central fountain with nude cast bronze figures doing unmentionable things in the spraying water. Elegant yet tasteless, wealth, power, and madness all entwined in a saturnalia of corruption even Baal himself could only but admire.
"It is but a farce, you know." Dame Julie said
"A farce?" I asked.
"Oh yes" she said "all this wealth, all this power, and his wife could end him any time she chooses, like a cockroach. Why, I am known far and wide as her deadliest assassin; and yet, not only am I allowed to visit as I wish, he even has to be polite and feed me dinner.... Now, for the last time, my dear, queen, what are you up too?"
"He and his court will seek to test me I think."
"Oh, most certainly"
"And you do drive so terribly fast."
"For what?"
"For the colonial ma reines." I spread my arms
And with a whisper of wings from all around, black birds began to drop from the clouds; not a few, or a few flights, but by the hundreds.
"Now" I said, as Lois landed on my arm, "I am ready.... for dinner, and then.... dancing."
My room at the castle was old dark wood and brilliant white canopies; I had spread the four-panel window as open as possible, both to let in air and birds. My travel case had been placed by the closet, all doors- even the secret ones- left open, with clothes and sundries placed with care.
I looked at the empty compartments, then at Lois "Anything left, dearest?"
Lois looked with Intent at James. James, by the dressing mirror, looked with intent at the wooden styling of the frame. He then lunged, head first; his beak went right through some small concealed hole. A sudden clunk came from the other side of the wall, then a faint oww of pain.
"Amateurs" I sighed. "Well it is one advantage we may have here, Catherine has forced peace upon Europe for most of a century now; we have had nothing but war for the same. Still, it's not the rival the mas
ter fears, but the lucky fool."
"True, but you should philosophize less and bathe more" Lois said, with small grunts coming behind her as James tried to pull his beak out of the mirror frame.
"Yes, one simply cannot be late, whether for dinner, dance, or disembowelment." I glanced it the washing room- ah a fine German tub, most excellent "Any sign of poison?"
"Worse," James checked his beak in the mirror for any scuffs of damage "floral scents. I sneezed all over the soap."
"Lovely," well at least I would smell unique. "This will be hostile territory, dears. If there must be mischief, we shall be the miss chief of it."
"As long as you know who isn't miss tree, as you are getting frond of her" James grinned.
"Oh dear, you had to start the puns, didn't you?” Lois hopped into the wash room, and closed the door behind us.
I turned the water on as hot as it would go, and climbed into the tub. Outside, dozens of birds began trying to talk over each other, each convinced they were the greatest wit since the bard of Avon.
"Yes dear," I told Lois "If they must listen in, let them listen to chaos.it will be good for them."
CHAPTER SIX
Dance, dance, dance, critters
Interlude:
While it may be true that the discovery of draught of youth by the Norse woman Gunnlöð in the Sixth century changed the possible future of humanity, it was the perfection and industrialization of the process by the Russian Empire a millennium later that changed the true course of history. That technology, and its secrets, made St. Petersburg the one place one earth where a person could be certain to find youth, health, and potency; if they could afford the price.
The brilliance of Catherine was in leveraging that technology, not just for wealth, but political power and influence; Imperial China could not be bought for any price, but it was freely given in return for promises of everlasting youth to its ruling class.
A Queen Among Crows: Book One of Empire's End Page 4