"He laughs, so he does not scream. Seeing you hurt was not fun, I suspect" I pushed the sheets back, hung my legs over the side, they felt so weak, like I had not walked in, well, ever before, really. In the harsh white light, the silver edges of my nerves glittered more brightly than ever before. New lines, like thin spiders, now were visible on the fronts of my arms and legs, not just the fleshy parts.
"Wait a minute dear, let me get the nurse. It is much like a minor stroke, I am told, your brain is rebuilding its connections. It took me several hours just to learn to walk again, and I think I shall practice a bit before really trying to fly." Lois leaped off me and began hopping to the door.
I just sat and smiled as she went on, feeling some inner demon clenching my heart let go. Death comes for us all, I had been in far too many battles to have any illusions about that anymore, but that moment when I thought I lost Lois was not something I ever wanted to go through again.
"Miss Anna! Miss Anna! Eryma is awake" Lois called out the door.
A young girl's head popped in around the corner. "Oh good, I was worried." She squeaked.
A vague memory trickled into place. "Duchess?" I hazarded.
"Still just a maid, Madame." She blushed. "M'lady d'Aubigny brought me and my mum along with her to help care for you, she said. One of the guards has gone to let the nurse know you are awake, can I get you anything?"
"Well if you are up to it, can you help me to the lavatory? And... Newspapers. If I am to be hospitalized, I shall need newspapers."
"Oh, but they shall be in Russian" Anna helped me up, surprisingly strong for her size. Or perhaps not so surprisingly. For a Romanov. Or a Romanov to be.
"Not the crosswords. Why every major city paper on Earth publishes the London Times crosswords, the Princess and Grand Duchess would no doubt be embarrassed if her great capitol did not."
"Yes," Lois chimed in "Let us do... Crosswords."
#
The nurse arrived. The guards arrived. My newspapers, brought by Anna, arrived. Lastly, my bladder decided to cooperate and make water arrive. The sound of which, at least, caused the guards to leave. The nurse, being made of sterner stuff, just waited. Finally, with help from Nurse Frau Snotmadeastein and Anna, I got myself emptied, cleaned, and settled back in my not very comfortable hospital bed, with one newspaper in my lap, Lois on the desk with her own paper, and once I convinced Anna to open the window, James and the daughters on other perches with their own papers.
It was almost like we were home again.
"Six across, six across... Bagel?" I guessed.
"One letter short, it is Beagle" Lois responded "Still, you are obviously doing much better than before."
I felt a pressure, a hot dry wind come in from through the door; the window rattled shut on its own. Anna's eyes grew wide as could be, and with a short squeak, she threw herself on the floor, kneeling as if her life depended on it. After a second, the much older nurse followed.
I considered getting out of my bed and doing the same. I also considered simply falling flat if I tried. Still, I could push myself up to a proper attention, and that I did do.
A woman's voice, in Russian, from the hall, deep and crystal clear. The guards’ voices, direct response. I saw one salute, they then marched past the door and down the hall, with almost parade crispness.
Catherine entered, and it could be none other. Tall, raven haired, skin so pale it was almost translucent, with quickly flashing blue and green runes scrolling up the edges of her skin like the etchings of some ancient prophecy. Anna's runes I had seen during the battle at Schloss Drachenberg, they had showered with green sparks, but these, these, they were alive.
"Your Highness" I tried to curtsy as best I could from my bed.
"As you were, everyone. Nurse, child, both go wait outside please. I wish to speak to the patient alone." Catherine took a chair beside my bed, almost like we were old friends. This woman had spent over a century getting everything she ever wanted. I was, in many ways, closer to death now then I had been when I was falling from the castle tower.
"I had planned to give you a long speech, about lost time, and your mission, and consequences, but I simply must ask... Why crosswords?" Her eyes, both blue and tinted by green stars, gazed into mine.
"The British Imperial Service uses them to send coded orders" I said, telling the actual truth, for once.
"And... You know these codes?" The glare was now of suspicion.
"We cracked them several years ago." I nodded to Lois.
"It is a rotating mathematical cypher, set by the day of the year, with the key word being whatever is one down. A one direction only system, but one that can be solved by any agent in the field, even one unskilled in mathematics, with the correct code book. Each agent would have their own, I suspect. That way if one is captured, small loss. If I have done my calculations correctly, today we want 17 down." Lois professed.
"There is no 17 down, mother" One of Lois's daughters chimed in.
"What, but I did the math..." More paper and pencil noises "Let me re check."
"The date, dear." I said. "Russia has a different calendar."
"Oh, of course" Lois said " Three down. Identifier will be six across"
" Barratry." I said "And runagate." I scowled.
"Which means what, exactly?" Catherine asked, her eyes alight with interest.
"Several possibilities, but another word for runagate is rat. So... Agent Rat... Was told to acquire a ship. For what reasons, and where they were told to go, I don't know. Yet." I said.
"I was told, that this... Rat queen... Fell from the tower and into a mound of her own rats. Not much left except for blood and bones."
I just stared at her. "And I, falling from the same tower one second later, missed the mess?"
"Right then." She smiled " I shall radio my agents in Europe to begin hunting her immediately. Now unto other affairs; my son informs me that his latest airship will be ready for its trip through Siberia in two days; I intend for you to be on it... Even as cargo as need be. By now you must know what I am after."
" The piece of the finger of the gods" I said, when she paused. "If that is what it is. It may have just been a real meteorite."
"Oh, it is, it is. My astronomers were waiting, they got some lovely photographs. Quite bright and metallic, all glorious silvers and bronzes. Sadly, child, no details; we still need better telescopes, it seems. But it is, from the explosion, the largest such piece of ever, and while I would think it destroyed by the impact, the others were barely even damaged. I must have it, for my people. There are ...complications... In the way, therefore my son intends to fly right over them." Catherine said.
"What sort of complications?" I asked.
"Local ones, geographic ones, and possibly... mythical ones. Or religious, if that is your belief. The Maphnk, if they even exist. Which is where you may come in, and why I acquired you. Although, you may have more practical uses, as well." Catherine smiled.
"The British." I said.
"Quite. I can only assume the nasty business in Prussia was an attempt to distract me, while their own ships and troops attempt to enter my domain and steal the finger from me. If so, they failed, and they may yet try something else, but in doing so, they risk my anger... Only the human cost of such an endeavor has prevented me from simply squashing them so far; if they continue to provoke the sleeping dragon, they shall be burned as they deserve."
"Then I should make most certain to be ready to leave on time." I said.
"Oh, you will, child, you will. Tell me, do you like Egypt?" Catherine stood up again.
"I do not believe I have ever been there, your highness."
"Before you leave, we must speak again. Meet me in the hall of antiques tomorrow evening after dinner, you are invited of course. One of the guards will help you get there, I have some lovely pieces to show you. In fact, I do insist" There was a thunder behind her eyes.
"As you command, your highness." I seemed to have
trouble swallowing.
"Indeed, now if you will excuse me, I have matters of state to deal with." She glided from the room like a living storm cloud.
"Antiques?" I asked Lois.
Who simply looked back at me, then shrugged.
Well damn.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Deals on Wheels
Interlude:
While unwelcome, the opinion of the Academy of Science was not unexpected, and it will be dealt with. If it is subjects they need, it is subjects they will get.
That fool that claims the throne of Poland calls me whore and freak; I grow tired of him... It would not be hard to trick him into sending me his sword. He may choke on it. I shall take his 70,000 troops, instead.
-Catherine, diary, 1755
"And what in all the hells, is a Maphnk?" I stared at the ceiling and asked the gods.
"It is either a small city in northern India, a name sometimes used in Africa for men, or an old Greek word for Demon" The gods it seemed had blue black feathers and a schoolmarm accent. "Under the context, I speculate it may be some extremist cult of Greek Orthodox Judea Christians? They are popular in rural Russia, and as we have discovered from the Skoptsy, somewhat feisty these days."
"Oh no, that is wrong" Anna squeaked from the doorway.
"What do you mean?" Lois glared.
Anna stopped, then shook her head, hands clasped before her, blushing at the floor.
"Anna, please, come in and tell me what that word means. Lois is quite kindly, she will not harm you any." I pulled the chair over for her. If anything, that idea, sitting in a chair Catherine had just used, horrified her even more; she instead knelt on the floor, craning her head up at me like some supplicant in a cathedral.
"As you wish." I said, and kicking my own legs out from under the sheet, slid off the bed to land beside her with an arse first splat. "Now that we are both comfortable, please tell me what these Maphnk are. I fear I may need to know, more soon than I would like."
"Not demons, Dragons." Anna started to babble. "Or houses. Houses that turn into dragons. Or walk like dragons. Or chickens. There are many legends, and they all tell different stories, except that in all of them they have the heads of dragons, the feet of chickens, and are larger than houses. And some of them fly. And they eat people, even armored knights with horses, chomp chomp one gulp and all et up."
"Well" I asked "That does sound... Mythical. Or religious. How did you hear of these monster dragon house chickens that eat people in one gulp?"
"Because my mama's sister is Russian, and she told me the stories. Every child that has a Russian mama or auntie or grand-mama knows the stories of Baba Yaga."
"Baba Yaga?" I asked.
"Oh dear." Lois said.
"The old witch of the north" Anna replied. "She is very scary, and very cruel to those that anger her, but very kind and wise to those who deserve it. There are all sorts of stories about her, how she is very ugly with a huge nose and can see the past and the future. They say you must always be polite to her, and never lie, and have courage and keep your word. Or she will cook you and eat you."
"Does she live in a candy bread house and eat bad children?"
"You have heard of her!"
"Oh, dear indeed." I looked at Lois "Any chance there is some basis to this myth? A great queen, or perhaps some strange bishop?"
" I doubt it." Lois said. "If it is the same Baba Yaga I have read about, she would have died over a thousand years ago. Long before the immortality formula became perfected, even in Russia. While in theory it's possible to use many doses of the old formulas, the odds of getting it right every time in preindustrial times would have been one in billions."
"Miss bird, some of those stories are not that old, they even say the Czar Ivan met her once, when he sought the fire bird." Anna said.
"Of course, dear, you could be wrong. For the first time ever," James snickered.
"Ahem" I interjected, before this turned into bird on bird warfare " James, perhaps you would care to stretch your wings and see if you can find Dame Julie? I want to take a look around, see If I can find a library or an expert, and I suspect the guards will not let me leave without an escort."
"Oh, I am sure I can find that one." James said. " I shall, speaking of myth, go seek the footprints of the wise trees of the woods."
"You will do what, Poppa?" his Daughters chorused.
"Come girls," He smiled " We shall follow the Ent trails."
I curled up in pain. Or shame. Or both, I wasn't sure.
"Miss?" Anna asked. "Do you need the nurse?"
"No. Well yes, I will need help getting dressed. Lois, love, could you please explain your interest in that man again?"
"James has some good points. Mostly on the top of his head." Lois said. " Come child, off the floor with you, go get the nurse. I have never seen a dragon before, and I am quite curious about seeing one now. Although I am not thrilled about how cold it shall be... We won't be able to get any local support in Siberia, you know."
"Penguins. " I sighed. "Perhaps I shall become the queen of the penguins."
"Wrong pole, dear." Lois said "I fear, all this trip shall bring you is... Great Egrets."
I covered my eyes and moaned.
#
I would love to say that when my fate found me I was sitting in my wheel chair, all dressed and demure, a picture of refined elegance, probity, and grace. In reality, however, the chair and I were careening down the hallway like some be gowned billiards ball as James and the girls tried to see just how fast they could get me going, poor little Anna running behind, half giggling and half mortified. I can say that while the hallway was superbly decorated, no aesthetic works of genius were harmed, as bronze bounces fairly nicely. No one would ever see that dent there, I am certain.
What stopped this important scientific research was not my wit or wisdom, but rather Dame Julie's striking black leather riding boot planted firmly on the chair between my thighs. This sudden deceleration propelled me fore ward, into her waiting arms, and left my dignity somewhat... Arrears. Dratted hospital gown. Although from her grin, or her hands, Julie was not complaining.
"Thank you" I blushed "You can let me go now."
Julie smiled, and gave me a long, slow look, up and down, then up again. "Of an ascertainment I can, but perhaps I do not wish too. You might try to fly again, oh brilliant Queen of the black wings; your subjects have feathers, you do not."
"Well at least none that show." I tried to pull back and adjust myself.
"Hmm good point, let us go into your chambers and I shall check." Julie's eyes were dancing.
"Miss?" A small voice behind me whispered.
Julie held onto me with one hand, and with the other, ran her fingers through my hair. My heart was pounding. For a moment, I felt weak again, unsure, like I was... Young.
"Ahem" Lois interrupted.
Julie pulled me in closer, looking straight into my eyes. She smiled again, licked her lips lightly, then leaned in to kiss me. Half of me wanted that kiss very much. Half of me was insulted she had not asked first. Half of me thought of my mission. And all of me was very bad at math, it seemed.
"AHEM !!" Lois roared, this time right beside our ears.
I pushed Julie away, this time for real. Sadly, this meant I fell back into the wheel chair. "Yes, Lois?"
"I Believe the young lady has a question, dear." Lois turned from her perch on the arm of my chair. "Go ahead child."
"I just... I just... Wanted to ask if I should leave, Miss bird." Anna stammered.
"No dear, you should not, unless it is to get that nurse. Where is she, anyway?" Lois was not amused.
"She um, well she had to um..." Anna twisted her fingers into knots.
"Praying, probably. As the Princess has chosen to treat you like a member of the court, that means the nurse does not have the authority to prevent you from doing anything foolish.... Sadly, she still has the responsibility. The one does not always confer the o
ther, you see. " Julie slowly looked around at that obvious silly buggers I had been up too.
"Well then" I tried not to look at a certain bronze art piece. " Anna, if you know where my clothes or luggage are, I should get dressed, there are questions to be asked, and things to do."
"Starting with a trip to Madame Collette's. " Julie walked over to the bronze piece, poking it with her long fingers.
"I was planning the library or perhaps the academy ... Who is Madame Collette?" I started pushing myself back to my room.
"The best French dress maker in the city. Normally, we would need weeks to see her, and weeks more to make the ensemble, but she owes me an old favor and time is of the import on this occasion." Julie put the sculpture down again, setting it so the other side would show.
"I am not certain I have time for such things. Your Princess wants me on the Zeppelin, tomorrow." We had reached my door. I looked at the bed, thought of sleep. Then of Julie. Well there would be no sleep there.
"While I" Julie threw her weight on that word "Am certain you do not have time to ignore it. If you are healthy enough to go hunting trouble, you are healthy enough to attend court tonight, unless you wish to insult our Princess and her ministers. Which I suspect you do not, kissing lightning is a bit daring, even for me."
I sighed. Well so much for my great strategies. "Yes, Madame Collete, then. Did my luggage arrive? Or my clothes survive? I shall need funds."
"No, but for now, at least, you are on the Imperial purse. Anna, be a dear and ready a bath, I shall help Eryma get undressed..." Julie reached for the front of my robe.
"No" I pushed Julies hand away, if gently. "Anna can help me with the bath, as long as she does not mind. Time, you said was of the essence, and I have never been one of those women. Also, we shall need funds for Anna as well."
"For me?" Anna squeaked. I was beginning to suspect she was part mouse.
"For you." I motioned for Julie to leave. She ignored me and leaned boldly against the door frame, instead. "By now Princess Catherine has heard all about you, not just whom you are, but what you are. And I shall need help tonight at dinner, quite possibly. For now, child, you can rest under my wing, and play my nurse, but someday you shall have to fly on your own. Consider tonight, your first day of school."
A Queen Among Crows: Book One of Empire's End Page 10