Drawing in a breath, she prepared herself for takeoff, which was smoother and less stomach-churning than she would have thought. She didn't have a problem flying in airplanes, but she felt much more exposed in the helicopter. There was more movement, more air, more…everything.
She suddenly realized that it wasn't just fear running through her when Ryder took them up over the tree line and flew toward town; it was also excitement.
"I thought you were just going to show me the runway," she said.
"When we go back. Feeling okay?"
"Actually, I feel great." She was surprised to admit it, but it was true.
"Good," he said, a smile curving his sexy mouth. "I knew you'd like it."
She didn't just like it; she liked him. But she wasn't going to tell him that.
She turned her gaze toward the vista unfolding before them. Tall trees and the running river gave way to houses and roads. She could see homes tucked into the hillier side of the river where she'd grown up; it was a vantage point she'd never had before.
"Your grandfather's place is through those trees," Ryder said. "And there's your dad's house."
"It looks even smaller from up here." With all the trees, hillsides and dense foliage, it was clear to see why the other side of the river had been much easier to develop.
Sentinel Bridge came into view, with No Man's Land and the boathouse for A To Z Watersports beyond. She almost wished someone was outside, so she could wave hello. On the other hand, flying around with Ryder was bound to bring up all kinds of questions, so maybe it was just as well no one was outside.
She looked off to the right as Ryder flew them toward the downtown area, where retail shops, restaurants, markets and small inns dotted the landscape. She could see the cluster of schools, the library, the parks with tennis and basketball courts, softball and soccer fields—all the places that marked moments of her youth.
On the Westbrook side of the river, the houses were much grander with a lot more acreage per plot.
"Where's the house you grew up in?" she asked Ryder.
"Coming up," he said, pointing ahead of them. "It's the two-story house with the low brick wall."
"And the tennis court in the back?"
"Yes. It doubled as a basketball court when I was growing up. I never got into tennis, even though both my parents play. The house is rented out now. My parents moved in with my grandfather eight years ago." A moment later, he added. "My grandfather's house is that big white colonial."
"That's right. It's the Gone with the Wind house."
"Yes. That was my grandmother's favorite book and movie."
Seeing where Ryder had grown up, reminded her of how very different their childhoods had been.
"Now, I'm going to show you my favorite view," he said, a note of excitement in his voice. He made a sweeping turn and flew back over the town, heading toward the Blue Mountains and Eagle's Ridge.
They didn't speak for the next few minutes, and she was content to just enjoy the view. It was a beautiful March day, with only a few white puffy clouds to mar the blue sky.
Ryder flew over the vista point that drew so many tourists to Eagle's Ridge, taking her to a higher ridge farther to the east, with a view even more magnificent.
"Want to take a closer look?" Ryder asked.
She wasn't sure exactly what he meant, but she nodded. "Sure."
A minute later, she realized he was going to set the helicopter down on a patchy grass of land on top of a mountain.
"Whoa," she said. "Are you landing there?"
"Yes."
"It's so small," she protested.
"It's plenty big. Don't worry."
As the ground got closer, she realized the landing spot was larger than she'd first thought, and Ryder set the helicopter down with gentle ease. He pulled off his headset, urging her to do the same. "I want to show you one of my favorite views. Come on."
She jumped down to the ground, avoiding the still spinning blades, and followed Ryder over to the edge of the mountain they'd just landed on.
"What do you think?" he asked, sweeping his hand toward the view.
"It's magnificent. I feel like I'm on top of the world. It's much more impressive than the view from Eagle's Ridge, and I thought that was amazing." She stared out in awe at the Snake River winding its way through the valley below, the thick, tall trees, and sloping hills surrounding the city off in the distance. "This is crazy beautiful," she said, turning to Ryder. She couldn't read his eyes behind his aviator glasses, but she could see the smile crease his lips.
"It is," he agreed, taking off his glasses and tucking them into his shirt. "Which is why I wanted you to see it, Bailey. Because you're…you're crazy beautiful, too."
He pushed her sunglasses up on top of her head, smiled into her eyes, and then stole her breath with a hot, passionate kiss that made her feel like the world was spinning all around her, and the only anchor she had was him—his hands on her hips, his mouth on hers, his powerful body surrounding her like the Blue Mountains towering over them. She wrapped her arms around his neck, needing the best, most impulsive, reckless, and perfect kiss to go on as long as possible.
Ryder angled his mouth one way, then the other, his tongue sweeping inside, bringing even more heat, more desire. She felt like she'd just climbed onto a runaway train, intense feelings running through her that she hadn't even realized existed. She'd had relationships, boyfriends, but this—this felt really different and a little bit terrifying.
She couldn't let a man take over her world again. This was supposed to be her time to figure things out.
That thought finally gave her the strength to let go of Ryder. She stepped back. He stared at her with dark-blue eyes glittering with the passion they'd just shared.
"We can't do this," she said.
"I thought we did it pretty well. I'm waiting for the thunder and lightning."
She appreciated his attempt at humor because it gave her a chance to regroup. "I'd prefer to keep the sunshine. We do have to fly off this mountain at some point."
"We'll be fine, and this is your fault."
"Excuse me? How is it my fault?"
"It's your eyes. They're like the sky, the endlessly blue and ever-changing sky that pulls you in and doesn't let go. A man could get lost in that sky."
She took a quick breath at his words. She'd never had a man say something so poetic, so unexpected. "I—I don't know what to say."
"Don't say anything. Words will only ruin it."
She thought that was probably true, and when Ryder put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face the view, she was happy to look out over the picturesque landscape, letting its restful beauty cool her heated emotions.
They stood there for several quiet minutes, her back against Ryder's solid chest. She couldn't bring herself to move away from his warmth, even though she knew she probably should. But that time would come soon enough. She'd ended the kiss. That was the important thing.
She just had to resist the urge to turn around and kiss him again, making a mockery of her very recent declaration that they could not do that.
"I first came here when I was about twenty-two," Ryder said, interrupting her thoughts. "It was right after I graduated from the Naval Academy. I had a few days off before I headed to flight school, so I came home for the weekend. David was actually at my house. He was visiting my grandfather. He told me he'd just gotten a new helicopter, and I should come by and try it out; so, I did. I wanted one last look at the valley before I left. I didn't know when I'd be back—it could be years—it could be never. So, I took the helo, and I ended up here."
She turned to face him. His gaze was now dark with shadows, and as he folded his arms in front of his chest and looked past her at the valley, she had the feeling he was very far away.
She felt a little foolish. She'd been thinking about their kiss, and he'd gone much further back in time. She wanted to know what he was thinking, why there was suddenly a sense of
sadness about him. "Ryder?"
He started. "What?"
"Where did you go just now?"
He shrugged. "I don't know."
"You seemed sad all of a sudden."
"Just thinking."
"About what?"
"Random moments in life."
"Random or important? Maybe even life changing?" She could see that Ryder was holding something back, and she was more than a little curious about what it was.
"Those are deep questions," he said lightly.
"Well, we're standing on top of the world right now, so I think it's okay to be philosophical. In fact, this might be the best time for deep questions and less vague answers."
He gave her a faint smile. "It does feel like we're standing on top of the world, doesn't it?"
"To me it does. But you're a pilot. You fly even higher."
"It's different when you're on your feet."
"So, you said you came here before you went to flight school," she prodded. "What made you stop?"
"I was thinking about the past and about the future, wondering if I'd ever be back in the town that I loved but in some ways, I also hated."
"Really? You hated Eagle's Ridge? That surprises me. You were the best at everything."
"I was who people wanted me to be. Maybe that was the best, but it wasn't really who I was. That's why I left to go to the Naval Academy. My parents didn't want that for me. They wanted me to go to college in Washington or any other non-military institution."
She was surprised again. "But your family is part of the military tradition. Your mom often organizes fundraisers for the troops."
"Because it's the right thing to do, and she's very big on her reputation."
"Well, I guess I can understand her not wanting you to serve. It's dangerous, and she was probably worried."
He shrugged off her answer as if it were the most ridiculous idea in the world.
"What? You don’t think she worried about you?"
"No, I don't think she allowed herself to care that much."
"Ryder, that's crazy. Your mom loves you."
"You don’t know anything about her."
"That might be true, but I can't believe she doesn't love you. She's so big on family and holidays and celebrations and you and your dad and your grandfather and aunts and uncles and cousins are always leading the way."
"All that is for show. It's for the town; it's what's expected. But when my parents are at home, away from the spotlight, it's a different story, especially at Christmas. The housekeeper puts up a tree and makes a meal, and we suffer through it together. We're all relieved when it's over."
Her brows drew together, perplexed by his words. "I don't get it. What am I missing?"
"Nothing. We don't need to talk about my family."
"Yes, we do. And you started it, so you have to finish. Why do you think your parents don't worry about you or don't love you?"
"Because they broke a long time ago—when Charlie died."
"Charlie?" she echoed, his words ringing a very distant bell.
He frowned. "You don't remember, do you? I guess you wouldn't. You would have been a baby when it happened. Charlie was my older brother. He died when he was seven and I was five. We were in the park. His friend's puppy got off its leash, and Charlie went running after him. He was hit by a car. He died instantly."
Her stomach churned and her heart went out to him, the pain in his eyes as raw as it had probably been at the time. "I do remember hearing that story, but it was a long time ago. I'm sorry I forgot."
"You don't have to apologize; it was twenty-seven years ago, and frankly my parents stopped talking about Charlie long before the town did. In typical Westbrook fashion, they buried their feelings along with their son. After that, they shut down. I learned early on that asking about Charlie made my mother cry and my father disappear, so I stopped. Everything that belonged to Charlie vanished from the house. His bedroom was turned into a guestroom that no one ever went into."
"I'm surprised they didn't want to keep his memory alive."
"I wouldn't have handled it the way they did, but I can't fault them for dealing with their pain and grief in whatever way they chose to. Just like I can't really blame them for not knowing what to do with me."
"What do you mean? I would have thought that having lost Charlie, they'd be more than a little focused on you."
"I think it was just too hard to let love back in, especially for a child. All I knew back then was that I had to make up for him being gone. I had to be perfect. I had to be the leader, the athlete, the scholar—everything Charlie could have been if he'd lived. But the one thing Charlie wouldn't have done was go into the Navy. He'd get horrible motion sickness whenever we drove on a windy road or took a boat out on the river. Charlie preferred to keep his feet on solid ground."
"Is that what you remember most about him?"
"That and his laugh. It would come out like a burst of fireworks, no slow warm-up, just a big, deep series of belly laughs. It was contagious. I wouldn't even know what he was laughing at, but suddenly I was laughing, too." His lips curved at the memory. "I think he was a happy kid—at least, he is in my memories."
"I'm so sorry that he died."
"Me, too."
"Do your parents ever talk about him now?"
"Oh, no, never. I don't think Charlie's name has been mentioned since the funeral."
"I don't understand that."
"Westbrooks don't talk about feelings or really much of anything else. The silence in the house I grew up in could be deafening."
"That doesn't sound like a lot of fun."
"I wondered if it would have been different if Charlie hadn't died, but maybe it would have been the same. Who knows…"
Her heart swelled again for the lonely little boy Ryder must have been surrounded by cold parents, who were isolated from him by their grief. "I wish they'd done better by you. You should have had some support."
"To be fair, my parents could barely get through their own days. When I needed to escape, I took to the sky. When I flew, all my problems stayed behind. Eventually, I knew that flying for the Navy was what I wanted to do."
"That makes sense, and after today's ride, I appreciate your passion even more."
He grinned. "My passion for flying or my passion for you?"
She made a face at him. "I have a feeling today's kiss was all tied up in a lot of other emotions. Being here is special for you."
"It is," he agreed. "But being here with you is even more special."
"Now I know how you got all the girls in high school; you really have a way with words, and with other things…"
The humorous glint in his eyes turned more serious. "I'm not trying to charm you, Bailey."
"You might not be trying, but you're still doing a pretty good job. You've learned more about me in the last few days than Franco did in six months."
"His loss."
"I haven't made the best decisions about men. I've let relationships derail my plans for myself. I don't want to do that anymore."
He nodded. "I get that. I've never let any relationship derail my plans, but now I'm starting to wonder if I spent so much time on the plans that I forgot to live."
"Is that why you came home? The unfinished business you mentioned last night?"
"Partly. It's probably a lost cause, but I feel like I spent my whole life waiting for my parents to open up to me, to let me in, to save me from the cold, but maybe I'm the one who needs to do that for them."
After what she'd just heard about his parents, she was amazed he wanted to try.
"It probably won't work, and that's all right, but I have to give it a shot," he added. "At the end of the day, I want to be in Eagle's Ridge. It's home. And when you've been where I've been, home is a dream that not everyone gets to go back to. Plus, my grandfather is turning ninety-five years old on Tuesday. I don't know how much time he has left, and maybe it's too late for meaningful words—"
<
br /> "But you have to give it a shot," she finished, repeating his earlier statement. "Are you sure you won't miss the Navy?"
"I'll miss the people, but I think I can do some good here."
"Running the airport?" she asked doubtfully. "That won't be too tame?"
"I'm going to fly, too—search and rescue, firefighting support, taking pretty blondes on sightseeing tours. It's all good."
Thinking about Ryder taking other women to what already felt like their special place didn't sound good to her at all, but she simply smiled and said, "Maybe we should get going. You still haven't shown me what land you want for the airport."
"I'll show you on the way back." He leaned in and stole a quick kiss. "In case you were wondering, what happens on the mountain stays on the mountain."
She was happy to hear that because she didn't think the Tuckers or the Westbrooks would be happy about anything that had just happened.
Nine
As Ryder flew back across the valley, he felt great, better than he had in a long time. It wasn't just the flight or the mountain view that had cleared his head; it was Bailey. He wasn't sure why he'd told her about Charlie; he certainly hadn't planned on bringing it up. But now that he had, it felt like a weight he hadn't even realized he was carrying had fallen off his shoulders.
He'd never been free to talk about Charlie in Eagle's Ridge, and when he was overseas, sharing that kind of information had been the furthest thing from his mind. But being on the mountain top, looking down at his life, his past, had taken him a long way back, and the words had poured out of him.
He'd told the truth when he'd said he wanted to make peace with his parents, but he'd been back in town for two months and he hadn't even gotten started on that endeavor. It wasn't easy to break through the solid wall between them. In fact, he'd barely seen either of his parents and now his grandfather was on his case about wanting to use Tucker land.
But he'd figure out his family later. Getting himself into a job he could love was his first priority and while he'd told Bailey he didn't want to spend his life making plans, he couldn't stop himself from focusing on the steps needed to turn the airport into a place he could expand and run with some sense of purpose. He certainly wasn't interested in just hanging around the airfield to welcome the passengers on the few puddle jumpers that showed up there. He needed more than that.
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