With a sad expression, Eleanor lifted her face to his. “Then maybe I could take in a small child or two to care for during the day. With so many women holding jobs outside the home, surely someone in our neighborhood needs dependable child care.”
Again Bob gave his head a hearty shake. “No, my beloved. The little bit you could bring in would help, but it wouldn’t be the answer. Our God will provide. We just have to try to be patient and continue to cling to His promises.”
“Though we may not have money or much of this world’s good, we are wealthy, Bob Rachette. We mustn’t ever forget that. We’re far wealthier than your Mr. Scrooge. I feel sorry for that man. Never marrying. Never having children. He has missed so much in life.”
Taking her hand in his, Bob gazed into her eyes and kissed her fingertips. “True, children are a heritage from the Lord, and so is our love. Words cannot express the love I feel for you, El.”
“You’re my brave hero, Bob Rachette. If you hadn’t saved my life—”
“You are my life!” he told her, drawing her close again. “My love, my life, my wife, the mother of my children! What more could I ask?”
“Only that our precious daughter’s birthmark be removed.”
Letting her go, Bob breathed out a sigh. “Yes, that I would ask. I still can’t understand why God would allow our sweet, unselfish child to be born with that awful birthmark.”
“Nor can I,” Eleanor confessed, “but He is God. His ways and timing are not to be questioned. I’m trusting He’ll make a way, Bob. He’s never failed us yet. Surely He won’t now.”
“My patient, adorable wife. What would I do without you and your gentle ways? Your faith in God always amazes me.”
“I’ve learned that faith from watching you, my precious husband.”
Bob’s face brightened. “Always my encourager, huh?”
Eleanor grinned. “As long as I have breath.”
A small hand tugged on her robe. “More cereal, Mommy.”
Laughing and reaching for the empty bowl, Eleanor bent and kissed the adorable little girl seated at the table.
❧
Charity brushed a lock of hair from Eleanor’s forehead as the two of them watched the scene in the Rachette house. “Well, what do you think? Could you have been happy as Mrs. Bob Rachette?”
Weighing what she’d seen, Eleanor searched her heart. “I–I’m not really sure. Living from paycheck to paycheck isn’t something I’m used to anymore. I have my credit card, and my checkbook is always in my purse. I can write a check for any purchase I desire to make without even giving it a second thought. Just last month, I went to the dealership, bought my new sports car, and paid for it, in full, with a check.”
“But does that new sports car bring you satisfaction?”
“I’ve certainly enjoyed driving it. Next summer, I’ll be able to drive around Newport with the top down. I’ve always wanted a convertible.”
“Oh? But can that shiny new sports car keep you company on those long, lonely evenings when you rattle around in that big house all alone?”
Eleanor gave her a puzzled look. “Of course not. What a silly question. That car spends its evenings parked in my garage, where it belongs.”
Charity gave her a slight smile. “My point, exactly.”
“Look, Charity, I know you have a purpose in asking these foolish questions but, for once, try to see it from my point of view. I was raised in a broken-down trailer with a leaky roof. My no-good father unmercifully beat us and our mom who, by the way, was not much better than he was. There was never enough to eat in the house. My mother rarely took what few clothes we owned to the Laundromat, so we had to wear dirty, wrinkled clothes most of the time—other than when I could sneak them out and Bob’s mother washed and ironed them for me. I never had lunch money, or a pair of new shoes, or a comb and brush of my own. The kids at school made fun of me because I was so poor. I know what living in poverty is like. That’s the reason I wanted to go to New York. I wanted to make something of myself. Was that so wrong of me?”
“You tell me.”
Eleanor sent her a look of exasperation. “I wanted to marry Bob. I really did. Refusing his proposal and that beautiful little diamond engagement ring he offered me was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I loved him, Charity. I never realized how much I loved him until I reached New York City and was sitting in my tiny, one-room apartment, searching the want ads and eating peanut butter slathered on a slice of stale bread. You wouldn’t believe how much I wanted to leave New York, take the first bus back to Newport, and tell Bob I’d decided to marry him.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Pride.”
Though the word had been hard to say, Eleanor felt a great sense of relief just voicing it. She’d never told anyone, especially Bob, that her stupid pride was the only thing that had kept her from rushing back to him.
“Pride? Was that reason enough to give up the man you loved?”
Lowering her eyes to avoid Charity’s gaze, Eleanor caught sight of the diamond and sapphire brooch pinned to her custom-tailored jacket. Though it was an expensive piece of jewelry, to her, it had become just another bauble from her jewelry box. “I thought so at the time.”
“What about now? Now that you’ve seen a small sample of what your life might have been like as Bob’s wife?”
“Since I’m being honest with you, Charity, and you seem to know these things anyway, I might as well tell you my true feelings. I long to feel Bob’s arms wrapped around me, holding me so close I can feel his heartbeat. I want to be smothered by his kisses, to hear him say he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. There! Are you satisfied? Now that I’ve poured out my heart to you?”
Charity leaned toward her, cupping Eleanor’s chin in her slim hand, lifting her gaze to meet hers. “You want all those things, but there is still something that would hold you back, isn’t there?”
“Yes.”
“Something more than pride?”
“Yes.”
“What, Eleanor? What is holding you back?”
Eleanor bit at her lip, dreading having to reveal what she was about to admit but knowing it had to be said. “Failing.”
“Failing?”
“Yes, failing at being the wife Bob deserves and failing at being a good mother to those children. Especially to Ginny. I’m—I’m just not sure I could cope with her—problem.”
Charity’s sweet smile blanketed her face once more. “Maybe you’re being too hard on yourself. Would you like to take another glance at what your life might have been like as Mrs. Rachette?”
Eleanor brightened. “Oh, yes, could I?”
Charity spread her arms open wide, and the area was instantly flooded with light.
Ten
“Bob! Guess what!” Eleanor danced into the room and threw her arms about Bob’s neck. “Dr. Schopf just called! He’s been in touch with an old classmate of his from medical school. His friend is now the director of the Vascular Anomalies Team at a hospital in Little Rock, Arkansas. He’s offered to do Ginny’s treatments for half the cost! God has answered our prayers. Our dreams for our little girl are about to come true!”
“He did?” Bob pulled her arms from about his neck, his expression suddenly becoming serious. “That’s wonderful news, El, but we’ll still have to come up with the other half and even half the price is going to be expensive. And what will we do about the additional costs? She’ll have to take a number of flights from Newport to Little Rock, and those are going to be expensive as well. We can’t send her there alone. One of us will have to go with her. Then there’s the cost for a hotel. She’ll probably have to spend at least one night, maybe more, each time she goes. And then there’s the fee the hospital will charge. Those things will mount to thousands and thousands of dollars.”
Eleanor, too, became serious. “I—I hadn’t thought of that.”
Bob gazed into her eyes and took on a smile as he lovingly
stroked her cheek. “What’s the matter with us? We’re looking at all the reasons this thing can’t work instead of praising God for giving us this wonderful answer to prayer! If He can work out this much, can He not work out the rest?”
Eleanor rolled her eyes. “I still can’t believe our insurance won’t cover at least part of it.”
“They still classify the treatment of vascular birthmarks as cosmetic surgery.” Bob backed away with a shrug before stuffing his hands into his pockets. “If they had to live with a child who has a port-wine stain on her sweet little face, and see what she goes through each day, they’d change their minds.”
“How can they possibly call removing a port-wine stain a cosmetic treatment?”
“Beats me. Maybe because they consider it an elective treatment and not life threatening.”
Eleanor moved to the sofa and sat down, motioning toward the cushion beside her.
Bob joined her, bracing his elbows on his knees and cradling his head in his hands. “I’m so sorry, El. Maybe you should’ve gone to New York City when we graduated high school like you’d planned, instead of accepting my proposal and marrying me. By now, you’d probably be a famous fashion designer with homes in New York, Paris, and California. I’ll always be nothing but a lowly accountant, and not a very good one at that.”
“Don’t talk foolishness, Bob Rachette. Marrying you was the best thing I’ve ever done. I’ve not regretted it for a single moment. Fame and fortune do not necessarily bring happiness.” She wrapped an arm about his shoulders and pressed her cheek against his.
“How can you say you’re not a good accountant? You’re a fine accountant. Mr. Scrooge has always bragged about you and your wonderful talent with figures.”
“But I was never able to take the time to get my certification, El. I’d have a hard time finding a job that pays me as well as Mr. Scrooge does without that.”
“Just having a piece of paper that says you’re a Certified Public Accountant wouldn’t make you any better at your job.”
“That may be true, but you’d be surprised at the number of businesses that wouldn’t give me a second look without it. And remember, El, if it weren’t for my job at Scrooge’s, I’d be out in the marketplace competing with kids just out of college who have that coveted certification. Which of us do you think they’d hire?”
Eleanor carefully kneaded the muscles at the base of his neck with her fingers. “You, my darling; they’d hire you if they knew anything about you. No one would do a better job. Any business would be lucky to have you.”
Bob pulled a dollar bill from his pocket and handed it to her. “Here, my number one fan and promoter. Take this until you’re better paid. Having you in my corner is all I could ever ask.”
Eleanor laughed then became somber once more. “Seriously, Bob. What are we going to do about Ginny? Should we go to Mr. Scrooge? He thinks so highly of you, maybe he would help.”
“Everett is a decent man, but to be honest, he’s a real skin-flint. I know. It’s my job to account for every penny.” Bob shook his head sadly. “Oh, he contributes to charities, to get some much needed tax breaks, but only to those that give him a good amount of publicity in return. He’d never help with a problem like Ginny’s.”
“So what’s our alternative? Ginny will be ten in a few days. From all I’ve read on the Internet, the older she gets the more difficult it will be to remove that birthmark.”
Bob stood, his shoulders sagging, and began to pace slowly about the room. “Let’s face it, El. As much as we want her to have those laser treatments, we both know that birthmark will never be completely removed. The laser therapy will only take care of it temporarily.”
“And she’ll need more laser treatments later on. Oh, Bob, it’ll never end for her, will it?”
“No, even if we can figure out a way for her to get the first few treatments, it’s going to be extremely important that at the first sign of recurrence, she’ll be able to have one or more treatments to keep it faded. But, from what I understand, and I’m certainly no authority on the subject, she’ll have periods of time, maybe months, maybe even years, before that will occur, but it will occur, and she’ll need to be treated again.”
Eleanor folded her hands in her lap and leaned her head against the headrest. “But wouldn’t even that be better than the way it is now?”
Bob turned toward her, a look of determination on his face. “I will find a way, El. Our little girl is going to get those treatments!”
❧
Charity shook her head. “It’s very sad, isn’t it? Can you imagine having a child in such need and not being able to do anything about it?”
Unable to bear the look on Bob’s face, Eleanor turned away from the scene. “He should go to Everett.”
“Do you think he’d help?”
She released a heavy sigh. “No. Not unless there is something in it for him. But what other source do they have?”
“Would you have helped if Bob had come to you?”
The question shot straight as an arrow to the center of Eleanor’s heart. “I—I doubt it, but I had no idea what that child was going through. Or what Bob was going through.”
“Did you ever ask him about his daughter?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I—I guess I was so wrapped up in my own little world I never cared about others.” She quickly wiped away a tear as it rolled down her cheek. “I was terribly selfish, wasn’t I?”
“Do you want an honest answer?”
“I already know what the answer would be. I was a selfish, self-centered, egotistical woman who cared more about the money in the cash registers at Scrooge’s at the end of the day than about the man I’ve loved since I was a child. The man who saved my life. If I were Bob Rachette, I’d hate me!”
“Do you think he hates you?”
Eleanor lifted misty eyes. “No. Bob could never hate anyone.”
“Do you think he loves you?”
“Loves me? Why should he? Even I can see that I’m totally unlovable. No one loves me.”
“Maybe that love he had for you at one time has never died.”
“He married Lydia.”
“But only after you turned your back on him and left for New York. Surely you didn’t expect him to wait a lifetime for you to return. Hadn’t you made it perfectly clear to him you were going to New York to seek success and were never coming back to Newport?”
Eleanor nodded. “I—I guess I did.”
“He loved Lydia, you know.”
“I know. He told me she was a wonderful woman. She sounded so much like Bob—same interests, same values—and I’m sure she was the perfect mother to their children.”
“Did you love him more than you loved Everett Scrooge?”
“Oh, yes.” Eleanor surprised herself with her quick answer. “I loved Everett but—I’m sorry to say—as a friend. I highly respected him and his business sense, and I liked being around him. Life with him was exhilarating, exciting. His knowledge of financial affairs was boundless. I learned so much from him. That’s why I’ve been able to be so successful at Scrooge’s. I’ve applied the many things I learned from Everett.”
“Well, as you have seen, life with Bob Rachette would not have been at all like your life with Everett Scrooge.”
Eleanor looked up into Charity’s eyes and found them warm and understanding. “I know. But, looking back, there was never any love life between Everett and me. Everett was already an old man when we met. We were more like business partners. He never held me in his arms, or even kissed me other than an occasional peck on the cheek. I—I missed those things.”
“If you could do it all over again, knowing all you know now, would you do everything the same?”
“Do you think I made a mistake?”
“What I think doesn’t matter. I’m only here to help you see for yourself.”
“Even if Bob loved me, I don’t think he’d want to spend the rest
of his life with me.”
“Oh? Why not?”
“Bob is a dedicated man of God. He’d never want to be saddled with someone who didn’t share his faith. I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was a young girl, but I’ve never really lived for the Lord. At this point in my life, I’m not even sure I understood what it meant to accept Christ.”
“Have you ever talked to Bob about it?”
“No, not really. He’s tried to talk to me a number of times, but I wouldn’t listen. I never wanted to acknowledge I was a sinner.”
“Are you a sinner?”
Eleanor harrumphed. “According to Bob, everyone is a sinner.”
“Do you believe that?”
“If God’s Word says everyone is, I guess I’ll have to believe it. I’m just not happy having that label dumped on me.”
“Do you think anyone likes being called a sinner?”
Eleanor answered with a nervous laugh. “I doubt it. It’s a pretty negative term.”
“And rightly so. Sin is an ugly thing. God hates sin, but the good news is, He loves the sinner. He loves you, Eleanor Scrooge.”
“I’m so ashamed of the way I’ve turned my back on God.”
“It’s never too late to get your life back on track.”
“But how? What can I do to make things right with God?”
Charity placed her frail hand on Eleanor’s shoulder. “Think, Eleanor. Do you remember what you did when you accepted Christ as a child?”
Eleanor frowned. “Do you mean what did I say?”
“Yes.”
“I remember it as though it were yesterday. I bowed my head and asked God to forgive all the things I had done to displease Him. I told Him I believed in Him and the Lord Jesus Christ, accepted His gift of salvation, then I asked Him to come into my heart and dwell.”
“And?”
“And I asked Him to help me live the way He wanted me to.”
“Do you believe He saved you? That He heard your prayers?”
“I did at the time, but as I got older and my life got even harder, sometimes, I doubted He’d heard me or ever cared about me, and I turned away from Him.”
Truly Yours Contemporary Collection December 2014 Page 12