by Xavier Neal
“And your career? You’re just going to throw being a prestigious lawyer in the garbage like it’s yesterday’s bread?”
“No,” I declare finally breaking apart the piece that was put in front of me. “Quite the opposite, I’ve decided to switch my focus to cases involving children. Custody battles, Adoption struggles, Relocations and anything to make a real difference in the lives of those who can’t defend themselves.”
“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience, son.”
“I am,” I confess. “I did a favor for a friend while I was in town. Helped take a kid who was being beaten within an inch of his life every day and helped give him not only a home that’s safe but two parents who love him like they’ve had him for his entire life and even gave him aunts and uncles to rely on. I helped save someone who couldn’t save himself. And that’s what I want to do.” My eyes land on my father. “That’s what I’m going to do from now on. So no, I won’t be returning to the firm.”
Silence fills the room and I take a bite of my bread, pride filling my chest. By the time I’m almost finished, my father has finally decided to speak again.
“I’ll make you a deal, Christian. Stay on as part of the firm and I’ll let you keep your inheritance—”
So close...
“I don’t need my inheritance. I’d rather live hand to mouth than agree to your deal.”
“I wasn’t finished yet.” My mouth shuts tightly. “Agree to stay on with the firm, and we’ll add a branch that allows you to practice law in that field from Texas. The catch is you take one case, in that field, here in the state of Maryland at least once a year.”
Okay so I didn’t see that coming.
“Why?” I softly question.
“Because I now see that’s the only way to guarantee your mother and I will see you.”
I tilt my head to the side nodding to myself.
He has a point.
“Look, Christian,” he starts as our dinner salads are delivered. “I was just like you when I was your age. My father didn’t give a damn about what I wanted either. What mattered to him was status talks and most of the time money talks louder. He wanted me to be an exact replica of him. And after fighting it on the inside never brave enough to fight it on the outside I guess that’s what I became.”
“Spitting image,” my mother says picking up her salad fork.
He flashes a warning look at her and then turns back to me. “I didn’t want that for you. But I guess part of becoming my father was treating you the way he treated me. I didn’t deserve the way he treated me and you don’t deserve it either. So....bear with me here. I’ll back off,” he nods slowly, “if you give me a chance to know the man that you’re becoming and not the one that you ran away from being.”
Astonished, I reluctantly smile, “Deal. Can we start with my name?”
My father chuckles and groans, “Fine, C.J. Fine.”
I smile again and my mother asks, “So we hear Jess was in town a couple weeks ago for Jennifer’s wedding. Did you see her?”
“Oh I saw her,” I politely inform her taking a bite. “She came, she ruined, and she left.”
“What do you mean?” Mother questions.
“I mean, Jess outed me to the media. Let it slip to the whole world where I was, destroying the relationship I had built with a woman I really love. I guess I should’ve told her before that point, I know, but I couldn’t bring myself to bare the look of judgment in her eyes. The look of betrayal,” I whisper as Erin’s heartbroken eyes roll around in my mind. “But Jess got what she wanted. Me to hurt like I hurt her.”
“She was always such a nasty wench,” my mother mutters and I can’t help but laugh.
“I thought you adored her.”
“Oh honey, no. That girl had gold digging tramp written all over her, but your father insisted you marry someone like her. Because his own father insisted that he do the same.”
“But he didn’t,” I counter. “You were—”
“His secretary, but his first wife was like Jess. Glad you didn’t have to go through a divorce before you got to find someone you actually care about.”
“So tell us about her,” my father insists taking a drink of his scotch.
“She’s...” I shrug not even knowing where to begin. “She’s...perfect for me. Never lets me have an inch. Fights me every step of the way. She’s so full of life and attitude. Every day with her in my life is like waking up in Heaven and going to sleep in paradise...”
“So you should be ring shopping,” he states firmly.
Always with the pushing of marriage. First Jess now Erin. At least this time I wanna be pushed.
“Not quite. My little secrets about running away from the altar, being a high powered lawyer, and coming from money sort of put a dent in things.”
“She’ll come back,” my mother leans her hand over and pats my arm. “Trust me on this one Christian. Um...C.J. She’ll come back. And when she does make sure you have your arms and your eyes wide open.”
Between the wine and too many soap operas, it seems my mother’s mind has become slush. You and I both know Erin. She makes being stubborn look like First Grade English homework to a grad student. When she makes a choice, it’s made. And it’s made for good. I know nothing I can do or say will ever change how deep this cut went, so I guess I’ll do the one thing she wanted me to do in the beginning. Stop chasing her. While I think some things can change unexpectedly like my parents here, there are some that are damn near impossible. But thanks anyway for rooting for me. I appreciate it. And you.
Chapter 21
Erin
I can’t believe I’m standing here. I can’t believe I’m about to do this. Just promise you’ll keep your mouth closed on what happened on the way over here. No one needs to know what a giant pussy I am.
“Yeah,” C.J. says from the other side of the door. “Of course I’ll open it up for you. But why didn’t you just grab a key from the front desk, Stuart?” He opens the door and his jaw falls down to his designer shoes.
Oh he really does come from money. Those are the kind of shoes that don’t come with a fucking price tag because they’re so expensive.
“I need to call you back,” he hangs up and slides the phone in his pocket.
All he does is gape with a mixture of disbelief and terror in his eyes. Doing my best not to show my own emotions I sigh, “So are you going to invite me in or is my first trip to Maryland the state of ice tornadoes gonna be spent in the hallway of this luxury hotel?”
C.J. smiles and I feel a small weight roll off my shoulders. “They’re called blizzards.”
“Call them what you want, but if I get stuck here because Frosty has an ax to grind, I’m going to be so pissed,” I snap as he widens the door to let me in.
Once I’m inside, he shuts it and leans his back against, “Erin—”
“No,” I cut him off quickly dropping my shoulder bag, “I’m first. You’ve done enough talking this last week to last you for a while.” His mouth closes tightly. “I haven’t been on a plane since I was 17. They terrify me. I had convinced myself that they could be tampered with that they are beyond unsafe and that just looking at one could make it crash. I hate airplanes, C.J., because they took away the only two people I loved more than myself. But I got on one. I got on one and sat next to an old lady who wanted to talk about chickens and her grandson who paid for her first class ticket as a treat. I got on one with my heart in my throat, ready to vomit for the next six hours, terrified because the only thing that scares me more would be to live my life without you.”
That’s right. Check point confession time.
His green eyes widen but he doesn’t say anything.
“And I was pissed that you didn’t tell me about your past, but I get it. I think given a little more time you might have. That it wasn’t about trust with me so much as fear of losing me. And until you left yesterday, I didn’t really understand that fear. But knowing you left a
nd you weren’t coming back for sure....started a ball rolling in my head that I couldn’t stop. I already live my life without the two people who loved me unconditionally and I don’t want to add a third person to it because I’m a little stubborn.”
“A little?” C.J. adds playfully.
“Didn’t I tell you not to talk?”
He chuckles and waves his hands in surrender.
“I don’t care that you work for Satan. I don’t care that you’re practically famous in certain parts of the country. I don’t care that you left that girl at the altar. Frankly, she’s a bitch and if you would’ve cut her at the altar, I couldn’t blame you.” His face twitches a smile. “But I swear Christian Jeffrey White, if you ever lie to me again like that I won’t be so forgiving and I damn sure won’t fly halfway across the country to tell you that you get a second chance.”
He smirks and shakes his head. “Half way, huh?”
“It’s really far here,” I respond as he slowly approaches me. As soon as his arms are around my waist I turn my serious voice back on. “Please don’t hurt me again. I don’t typically do second chances and I refuse to do third ones.”
“I promise.” He lowers his forehead to mine. “I’ll be honest with you about everything and anything.”
“Like how old you were when you got your dick pierced?” I look up with a sexual smile on my face.
“18.”
“First kiss?”
“8.”
“First time you had sex?”
“13.”
“Man slut!” I playfully hit his chest and he shrugs.
“That was late compared to everyone else.”
Ugh. Does that make your skin crawl a little too?
“Do you love me?”
“Enough to give up everything in the world for you. Do you love me?” When I don’t answer, he tilts my chin up so our eyes meet. “This isn’t a one way street with trust and honesty. Be real with me. Do you love me?”
“I don’t travel around the globe makeup free just for one night stands.”
His face wants to smile but he shakes his head instead. “Not good enough, Erin. I need to hear you say it. I’ll never ask you to tell me again, but right now, I need to know that you really do trust me and that you really want to make this work.”
I slide a hand up his shirt and smile brightly. “I love you, C.J. I mean I love your cock more but—” He pops me on the ass and I yelp.
“That’s just the start of being punished.” He grips my ass roughly. “You better be ready to handle a lot more than that baby swat.”
“It was rather weak. Maybe you’re losing your touch,” my challenge and my body responds accordingly.
C.J. wets his lips and growls, “I’m about to lose my touch in you...” His lips descend on mine roughly reviving something that I know only he can.
Okay so we’re not perfect and maybe we burn a little too hot for our own good sometimes, but you know what, I’ve spent enough of my life hiding from my past. It might be nice to let someone in and stay there. My parents wouldn’t want me to be suffering this long after their death right? I know deep down inside they wouldn’t have wanted me to mask my pain at all. What do you say I give this love thing a try? Now, if you’ll excuse me there’s this really sexy lawyer I need to have pound me like a gavel....
Thank You!
Crazy Lady- I know you just read this, you’re laughing and gonna ask me when the next one comes out. March 3rd. Lol. I love you.
Her Husband- Your baby girl never gave up and I never will.
Blamegirl- I guess I should start calling you by your popular blog name now huh sis?
The Lumberjack- No matter what you say, it’s totally normal for voices to be in my head like this.
Katniss- As always thank you for simply existing.
Erin- Well, lol. Here is it. That’s all I need to say.
The Doctor- It means a lot that you read these books to me, after all you give me the time to write em!
Mrs. H- As always thanks for perfection.
My Army- Genie, Bama Mama, Boss Lady, Swagmasta, Shel Bel, Chelle, you are my team. You are the family. And I know together everything and anything is possible.
To the Editors, Twin Sisters Rockin’ Book Reviews for doing great work and being patient with me the ENTIRE process. Chelle, for the extra eyes once it was finished. And the Comma Fairy for giving it a final read through.
My PAs- Holy crap can you believe I have PAs? That’s crazy right! Thank you both for everything you do for me. All the help you are providing. Thank you for clearing up space for me to write.
Bloggers- You make my world go right round baby, right round! Thank you for everything you do. Every link you share. Every moment you give us authors to share. You make the heartbeat of the Indie world continue to beat.
Betas- Your boosts of confidence in my work mean so much to me. Thank you.
Readers (because saying fans feels weird to me, lol)- THANK YOU! Thank you for buying this book! Thank you for supporting the entire Senses Family! Thank you for supporting all my work and letting me live my dream every minute of every day. My characters thank you from the bottom of their hearts as do I.
Curious about how Maxx and Logan’s past?
Check out the Senses Series! AVAILABLE NOW!
Vital: A Senses Series Prequel (Featured in Interwoven)
Blind (Book 1)
Deaf (Book 2)
Numb (Book 3)
Hush (Book 4)
Savor (Book 5)
Interested in Xavier’s other works?
Try the Havoc Series!
Havoc: When Clint “Grim” Walker, started Operation: Save Haven Davenport, the beaten, bruised girl who fell into his life, he had no idea it would turn him into an unbalanced, enraged, insecure idiot.
The mission objectives seemed simple. Make her feel safe in his home. Fail. Protect her from the neighborhood playboy. Fail. Shelter her from the ex girlfriend. Fail. Not fall in love with her. Epic fail. And while Clint could learn to live with those failures, there’s one he can’t. And that’s the objective that matters most. More than his side duties of making amends with his father, more than accepting motherly love from his meddling neighbor, and more than attempting to relate to his brother’s in arms off the field. That objective is life or death.
Try the Never Say Neverland Series!
Book 1 and 2 Sold Together!
Book 1: Get Lost
Con Artists. Thieves. Hustlers. Not exactly the lifestyle high school senior and loner, Peyton Darling, saw falling into her lap when the infamous, fedora wearing Just Ryan asked her for a small favor. She quickly finds herself tangled up in a mysterious world with The Lost Boys, family secrets that come with the name Darling, and the unfamiliar territory of falling in love.
If you thought you knew the fairytale, think again.
Book 2: Lost In Lies
When Peyton left her entire world behind to treasure hunt with the infamous gang known as The Lost Boys, she expected to just be used in cases of emergency. After all, what does she really know about conning and stealing? Aside from pulling a fast one over on her parents and the sexy fedora wearing Justin Ryan, who introduced her to the art of theft, she really is clueless about most things in that category. Seducing a teenage billionaire because he just so happens to have the next clue on this mission she willingly let herself get sucked into? Don’t think that’s enough pressure for a seventeen year old? Try adding on the fact she’s being hunted by her parents, some mythical society she knows nothing about, as well as a rival gang from Neverland, the place they were supposed to be headed. And just when the complications are wound tighter than Belle’s mini skirts, she’s stuck making that choice every teenager hates making. Family? Or friends?
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