It all leads back to the reason she left me in the first place—the affair.
Irritation overshadowing my excitement for the real reason I was here today, the last thing I wanted was to go back over that argument in my head or with Makena. At some point, a conversation was going to be had; she was going to be listening to me without throwing the photos or tape at me. I have not listened to the tape and have no intention to do so; for me, my word should be more important to her than evidence that was obviously doctored.
I knew it was bullshit because I never strayed from my wife, never thought about it, and was never tempted, not even once. The day I laid eyes on Makena was the day I went off the market for good. That day Makena took possession of my heart, and I never asked for it back, not even when she left destroying the man I used to be.
When once Makena was my world, now my son was. Hearing the sound of a door opening from the house, I whipped around with a ready smile for my son; then, it dropped when only Mallory came waltzing down the stone path.
Alone, except for the small animal carrier dangling from one hand.
“Hey, it’s the Hottie brothers. Wow, twice in two days and all three of you!” Mallory made a production of mimicking fainting, gaining a laugh from both Hendrixx and Fenixx.
“Should have taken me when you had the chance Mal Bell, snagging a Hott brother gets you legendary status around these parts,” Hendrixx quipped, getting an eye roll and a chuckle from Mallory.
“Mate, the only place you are a legend is in your own mind. Plus, I hear from a little birdie you have your hands full with a barely legal blonde cowgirl,” Mallory retorted with a knowing smirk aimed at Hendrixx.
Target hit. Hendrixx let out a growl, then swung his fist out and connected with the side of Fenixx’s head, hitting him in the ear.
“Ouch! What the fuck was that for?”
“Stop calling Blake barely legal and fucking stop telling people she is mine! Fuck Fenixx!” Hendrixx shouted, his face going a pretty shade of red. If I wasn’t gung ho to get to my son, I would have stayed and helped Fenixx rile our brother up a little more, but the only thing I wanted to see was my son’s face once he heard the news of who I am to him.
Making a hurry-up motion with my hands, I let out a frustrated sigh.
“Can you two do this some other time? I want to go see my kid if it’s all the same to you.”
“Mal, Makena and Daxx in the house?” I asked, making my way towards her.
“Nope.” Her head shook back and forth, a grimace on her lips.
“What?” Surely Makena hadn’t taken off, not again? She promised today we will be telling Daxx, I was moving over here so I could get to know him, make him part of my life. She wasn’t taking that away from me.
“Calm down, Hottie; I just dropped him off to her in the north paddock. Mack left early this morning to feed the livestock leaving Daxx with me until he woke up. Now, she is having another crack at fixing the baler again. She said to let you know where she is; I have to drop Daxx’s new friend off at the vet before I go to work.”
Stepping through the old rickety gate, Mallory gave me a pleading look.
“I hope this isn’t your way of punishing Mack for what she did, Noxx. She doesn’t need your condemnation; she needs someone to give a shit and help get this place up to scratch. She endured enough crap from Dad when she came home; she doesn’t need more from you. Just some help and maybe some support.” Her brows disappeared into her hairline, giving me her signature stare. Mallory Rogers was never impressed by my reputation as someone not to mess with or Hendrixx as a playboy. Her loyalty to her sister impressive, to say the least.
“I meant it when I told you she is at her breaking point, Noxx. What Dad has done, you coming back into her life and knowing about Daxx. I’m worried about her, really worried.”
I thought for a minute about what she said about Makena needing a break. And while I didn’t agree completely, she did need some major help starting with the fucking baler.
Dropping my head, I slowly nodded.
“Okay, Mal, I won’t push her, but I’m not backing down on Daxx knowing I’m his father. That’s not negotiable,” I told her firmly, refusing to budge or give in on that point. I was prepared to hang onto my anger and give Makena the time she needed to sort out the farm’s finances and not push her for answers, but that was it.
“Thanks, Noxx, I don’t necessarily agree with her decisions, but I do understand why she chose that road.” Reaching up on her toes, Mallory kissed me on the check. “It’s good seeing the three of you together again. Reminds me of old times with Hottie 1, 2 and 3.”
“Jesus, Mal, give that shit a break will you,” I grumbled good-naturally, relieved the heavy talk was over, ready to get to my son and see him.
“Okay, let’s get this done! I didn’t get to spend anywhere near enough time with my nephew last night,” Fenixx shouted, enthusiastically racing back to the car. It seemed I wasn’t the only one eager to score more time with my boy. Giving Mal a friendly smile, I turned to join my brothers in the car, thankful that I didn’t bring the Porsche this trip. Admittedly, I did that to piss Makena off, but after yesterday and seeing the hardship she and Mal were dealing with, I thought showing off was not a good idea any longer.
I didn’t lie to Mal when I promised to take it a bit easier on my wife. She did need a break, and me being constantly angry at her, or deliberating taunting her into a fight wasn’t helping her mental state.
The bottom line being, she is Daxx’s mum, and no matter how mad I was with her, I had to respect that. The love between them was obvious, palpable; I wasn’t out to destroy that, all I wanted was for her to be fair to me.
Jumping into the driver’s seat, I followed slowly behind Hendrixx as he jogged to the first gate that led to where Makena was working on the baler, Daxx, with her.
I didn’t like that either, her having to lug our son all over the property all day. Was eight a.m. too early for a three year old to be up and outside in the brisk morning air? I wouldn’t have a clue, but that’s why I was here to learn how to be a dad and take some of the parenting duties off Makena. To give her a break, just like Mallory warned, I should be doing.
My mind drifted briefly to the idea I had on the drive back to the Triple H after I said goodnight to Daxx. It was a crazy plan, insane and most likely evil, but it certainly held major appeal.
Yeah, I was staying here for Daxx first and foremost, but this was the ideal way to get my wife back. And the first step was to go back to sharing a bed with her.
Then, once that happened, and she was warm and willing, and begging me to love her again, all I needed was some bedtime with Makena, to use her body to get my cock working again. I just had to cure this deeply ingrained obsession with her; then I could walk away and leave her just like she did to me.
MAKENA
“God damn piece of rusty, mother cocksucking crap!” I muttered under my breath, so Daxx couldn’t hear me swearing. It was bad enough he heard cursing from Charlie, now with his father and uncles present in his life, Daxx had enough bad influences around him without adding me to the mix.
Giving the old baler a hearty kick in the tyre, I took a long, deep intake of frigid air to calm myself before putting the spanner back on the nut and tried again to loosen the rusted bolt.
“Cocksucking crap!” Daxx crowed loudly from his perch on the top of the baler.
“Daxx Maxwell!” I cried out, horrified to hear that from my baby boy, quickly looking around to see if Charlie was still around, then groaned when instead of seeing the old man, the three Hott brothers came strutting up each of them sporting huge grins.
“Yes! He is a true Hott,” Fenixx laughed, racing up to us and holding out his hand to Daxx for a high five.
“Do not encourage him Fenixx; he doesn’t need to know every dirty word to prove who his family is,” I muttered, looking at my brother-in-law and trying not to let my eyes drift to Noxx. Not that I needed to loo
k at him to know how close he was standing to me, his aftershave filled my nostrils the second he got close enough—the heat from his body, like a magnet.
“You gave him my middle name?” The whispered question tickled my ear, the deliciousness of his breath sending goosebumps across my neck and down further to my now pebbled nipples.
“Um, yeah—yes, I did,” I stumbled, hating and loving my reaction to him all at the same time.
“Why?”
Spinning around to finally look at him, I scrunched up my face.
“Pardon?”
“Why give him the double x and my middle name if you never intended to tell me about him?”
“I never said that was my intention, did I?” I was stalling, I knew it. But this was hardly the place to have any kind of conversation about that time his father thwarted my decision to go back to Noxx and tell him about our baby.
I don’t know if I was ever going to be ready for that talk, because, in all honesty, I had no idea what I was allowed to say. The piece of paper I signed—forced to sign, had so many demands, and full of so much legal gobbledygook it made my head spin. So many times, I grabbed it from the old biscuit tin under my bed to get my solicitor to look over and explain to me, but each time I chickened out. Ashamed of my weakness and lack of courage to stand up to the old bastard, it was still safe in its hiding spot.
“Four years tells another story, Makena.”
Thankfully, Hendrixx saved me from getting into another brawl with my husband with a question.
“What exactly are you doing here, Mackie?”
Exhaling in frustration, I looked at Hottie 2. “Isn’t it obvious? Last week the bolt snapped off when I was trying to get it off, so I just welded a piece of another bolt onto the head to fashion something I could get a grip on. So I can get the bloody thing off!”
Damn it!
“Don’t even think about it young man!” I warned my son, pointing my finger at him just in time to see the little ratbag’s mouth open in readiness to repeat my curse word.
“Since when did you know how to weld, little sis?” Fenixx asked me, getting down on his haunches to inspect my work.
“Since a week after I got back here and had to fix the axle in the farm ute. I watched a YouTube tutorial on welding and got to it. I kinda enjoy it actually; the welding part not working on this stupid baler.”
“This thing has to be at least twenty years old Mack, you need a new one,” Hendrixx announced in typical rich person fashion.
“Ya think? Seeing as though that ain’t going to happen any time soon. What I do need is to get this crop baled before it rots with all this rain we got earlier this week.” Striding back to the ute, I rifled through the toolbox on the back tailgate finding what I needed before going back to my job at the machine ignoring the three sets of wide blue eyes as I fitted the bigger spanner head on the nut and used all my might to shift the stubborn thing.
“Need some help, Mack?”
“No, Fenixx,” I grunted, “ you can help more if you all take Daxx and bugger off and do what you came here to do,” I told them shouting the last word as the nut finally gave way making me lose my balance and falling on my butt on the wet ground.
“Baby!” Lenoxx called out, his voice worried and a little angry, but his concern wasn’t necessary. A giggle bubbled up my throat, then suddenly I was laughing hysterically, Daxx joining in with his own cute giggles.
“Mumma got it off!” he shouted in glee, clapping his hands at my achievement.
“I told you, didn’t I baby boy, you never give up trying,” I told my son, looking up at him loving the joyful sound of his laughter.
“Cans I go and play with dem now, Mamma?” Daxx asked, pointing at the three men, but it was his father he was watching. Last night, I noticed how Daxx kept his eyes on Noxx more than Drixx and Fenixx despite the fact they were all identical. It had been Noxx he asked to read him a bedtime story, and Noxx was the one he wanted to tuck him into bed. It was if there was an invisible thread between them, pulling son to father.
“Yes, you may. Noxx?” Turning to face my husband, I watched his face with interest. The emotions playing across his handsome features ranged from wonder to pure love as he watched our son sitting on the baler, his little legs swinging back and forth without a care in the world.
“Noxx?”
“Huh.” Looking quickly at me, Noxx shook his head, his eyes finally focusing on me.
“Would you like to keep Daxx with you until lunchtime? I have a fair bit to do out here, and Daxx has the intention span of a gnat, as you all found out last night. It might be safer if he goes with you guys,” I suggested, offering the first of what could be many olive branches.
Lenoxx visibly swallowed, his head nodding slowly. “Um, yeah, I really would.”
“But shouldn’t I stay here and help you?”
“Nope, that honour is going to Fenny.”
“It is?” Fenixx asked me, surprised.
“Yep. I still have some more welding to do, and if I remember correctly, you are a pro. Plus …” Turning back to Noxx, I gave him what I hoped was a pleading look. “You and Daxx need some time together before we tell him a story.”
I wanted, no I needed to be present when Daxx finds out who Noxx really was, but it was also important that he be relaxed and comfortable around his dad first. Last night had been a great start, better than I ever dreamed, but some more work needed to be done first, and Noxx needed to calm down when he was around Daxx. If my son wasn’t so easy going, Noxx’s dreamy looks and stumbling every time he saw Daxx might well scare my kid.
Spending time with Daxx without Mallory or me around would do the trick, especially if Daxx asks his dad to make him something to eat. Wickedly, I hoped that Daxx would be in the mood for some spaghetti, that ought to test Noxx’s internal parental skills.
Cheating and blackmail aside, Noxx was my son’s father, and Daxx needed his dad in his life. Living here or over at the Triple H, Daxx was going to be spending a lot of time with Noxx. It was something I had to accept, everything else could wait, but knowing Noxx the way I do, he wasn’t going to wait long. Daxx was a good distraction, but the sands were tumbling down the proverbial hourglass heralding my time was about over.
***
“I have to say, Mackie, I am very impressed with your knowledge of not only basic mechanics but animal husbandry,” Fenixx praised as we made our way from the tool shed after putting away the welder and the toolbox.
“Why thank you, number 3, that is high praise coming from you,” I answered, bumping my shoulder with his, then wrapping an arm around his back.
“I mean it, sugar, for someone who is trained in nails and makeup, you have a remarkable grip on working out problems and adapting with the materials you have on hand.”
“Yeah, well, I loved watching MacGyver reruns back in the day,” I quipped, enjoying being with my brother-in-law in such a comfortable way. The few hours it took us to get the baler up and running, Fenixx and I never talked about anything to do with Noxx, our time in Melbourne, or why I left him and kept Daxx from him. Instead, we spoke about the farm’s problems, about how to get the finances back on track and his plans for the Triple H. It didn’t surprise me to hear Fenixx wanted to branch out into horse breeding on top of raising and breeding beef cattle. If there was one place Fenixx Hott was most comfortable; it was on the back of a horse. In fact, it had been Fenixx who taught me how to break in a horse, shoe a horse and climb trees. The man had a thirst for life I truly envied, he lived each day like it was his last, or at least he had when I was with Noxx, and it seems nothing had changed.
“I can’t believe Noxx is a father,” Fenixx marvelled, breaking my bubble of comfort all of a sudden.
“I know you have questions Fenny, but I can’t answer them until—”
“Hey, I know, that is between you and my brother. I am just so thrilled to have a nephew to hang with, teach how to ride, climb trees and—”
Laughing, I dropped my head onto Fenixx’s upper arm. “You’re too late for the tree climbing lessons, Daxx has been climbing since before he could walk. I don’t know how many times Mallory and I had to fetch him from haystacks and shed roofs once he started walking. I swear he has more Hott blood in him than Rogers.”
Laughing together, we walked slowly to the house. I wasn’t in any hurry to sit down with Lenoxx just yet, Fenixx must have sensed my indecision because his steps slowed, and his arm wrapped around my shoulder, pulling me closer.
“I have missed you, Mackie, Mallory, too. Riling her up used to be my favourite past time.”
“Ha! You and Hendrixx both. Once upon a time, I thought those two would get together, but now Mal is engaged to Tim and Hendrixx is—”
“Hendrixx is obsessed with a nineteen year old blonde spitfire who does his head in on a regular basis. I gotta say it is fun watching him lose his shit over Blake, she pushes every button he has, and goes back for seconds.”
“Blake? You mean little Blake, whose father died and was left in the care of your parents?” I asked with curious surprise.
“The one and only. Blake, however, isn’t so little anymore. She grew up into a knockout and one of hell of a horsewoman. She has absolutely no fear and that drives Drixx nuts. I swear he has a tracker on her because as soon as she sneaks off to pull some stunt like getting on the back of Hendrixx’s stallion, he is right there yanking her off.
“Sounds like Hottie 2 is on his way to falling,” I said knowingly.
“Oh, yeah, and I can’t wait to watch it play out.”
“And you, Fenixx, anyone special on your radar?” I asked bravely.
Fenixx might be the fun triplet, the jokester, but he was also the most sensitive of the three. Growing up, he didn’t have as many girlfriends as his brothers, not that the local girls didn’t beat a path to his door. He had lots of female attention, Fenixx was just … picky when it came to choosing someone with which to spend time. I liked that about him; he didn’t feel the need to live up to the reputation the town’s female population bestowed on them. Hendrixx and Noxx didn’t either, well not much anyway.
Hott and Taken (The Hott Brothers Book 1) Page 12