She felt lighter than his anvil as he picked her up and placed her on the horse’s back. He heard her intake of breath and knew the move had been painful for her. Jackson looked into her pale face. His heart ached for the pain she felt.
He swung up behind her and tried to avoid touching the injured ankle. Turning the horse toward town, he saw Richard still waiting for them. George slumped in front of his father.
“Get him to town, Richard. We’ll be right along.”
Richard didn’t have to be told twice. He whipped his horse into action. Within a couple of minutes they were out of sight.
Eliza leaned against Jackson. He tugged her close and whispered into her ear, “Eliza, I love you more than words can say.”
* * *
She heard his rapid heartbeat in her ears as he whispered words of love and encouragement to her. Tears filled her eyes. She loved him, too, but couldn’t saddle him with a barren woman. Someday he would want children. Once he learned she couldn’t give him the children he desired, would she love him enough that, should he ask, she’d release him from their marriage of convenience?
In a louder voice Jackson repeated, “Eliza, do you understand that I love you? I’ve known for a long time, but today when I thought I’d lost you, I realized I never want to be without you.”
She didn’t know what to say. Eliza held her breath and closed her eyes. To say she didn’t love him, too, would be a lie, and she’d vowed never to lie to him.
“Don’t you love me, too?”
She heard the hurt in his voice. “I do,” she replied.
“Then why can’t you tell me so?” he asked, hugging her closer still.
It was time to tell him the truth. Her heart ached almost as painfully as her ankle. Tears streamed down her face. Thankfully she saw the lights of town and knew she’d gained a reprieve from telling him the whole story, even it only for a few hours. She answered him truthfully, “Because, I know what you will want besides my love and I can’t give that to you.” A sob tore from her throat and she buried her face in his chest and wept for the love she felt sure she’d soon lose.
Chapter Thirty
The next morning, Eliza awoke in her bed feeling miserable. A lot had happened during the past few hours. The doctor had wrapped her ankle and given her medication for the pain. He’d said George had a concussion and would need to be monitored for several days. Jackson had offered the Harper family their house until George was able to return home. Julia had agreed, saying she could help Eliza with Peter and the chores. It all seemed like a dream.
She noticed that Jackson’s shirt hung on the back of a chair and a pair of his boots set beside the bed. Since the pain medication had put her to sleep, Eliza could only assume Jackson had moved his things back into her bedroom the previous night.
Her bedroom door cracked open and Peter looked inside. “Are you awake, Ma?”
Eliza smiled. “Yes, I’m awake.”
He walked into the room and shut the door behind him. “Does your ankle hurt much?”
She patted the mattress beside her. “Not too bad. Come sit beside me.”
Peter did as she asked. His eyes shimmered in unshed tears. “I’m real sorry you got hurt.”
“I know you are. It’s all right, Peter, I’m going to be fine.” She picked up his small hand and held it tight.
“Pa said that, too.”
“He did?”
Peter nodded, looking down at their hands.
“What else did he say?”
“Just that he loves me and that I’m never to go out to the stone caves again.” His bottom lip began to tremble.
Concern filled Eliza. The little boy was very upset. “Did he punish you?”
“No. My other pa would have whomped me good. Then he would have told me that the whompin’ hurt him more than me because he loved me so much.” Peter looked into Eliza’s face. “Why didn’t Jackson whomp me good?”
She offered him a soft smile. “I don’t know, but don’t worry. I’m sure he loves you and is trying to think of a good punishment.”
Peter’s face brightened. “You really think so?”
Eliza nodded. “I’m sure of it.”
He sat quietly for a few moments. “Do you think he’ll make me get rid of Mrs. Whiskers?” The tears returned to his eyes. “My other pa made me get rid of our puppy because he caught me playing in the henhouse.”
Her heart went out to her son. “No, I don’t think that will be your punishment.” She lowered her voice and whispered as if her next words were a big secret. “I think Jackson likes your kitten as much as you do.”
Peter giggled.
They sat in comfortable silence. Peter began to look worried again and Eliza felt sure he was thinking about and beginning to dread whatever punishment Jackson thought up. She’d have to remember to mention it to Jackson.
Her stomach growled and Peter smiled. “Are you hungry, Ma?”
“I am and a little thirsty, too.”
Peter jumped from the bed. “I’ll go tell Mrs. Harper.” He ran from the room.
A few minutes later, Jackson arrived carrying a tray. “Peter says you’re awake and want to eat.” He smiled at her as he set the tray on the bedside table.
Eliza pushed herself up until her head rested against the headboard. “I thought Julia would bring me breakfast, or is it lunchtime?” Her words came out harsher than she’d intended.
He frowned. “It’s still breakfast. She’s feeding George so you got me instead.”
She offered him a smile. He handed her a bowl of warm oatmeal. “Can you handle that?”
“I believe so.” She took the bowl and spoon and began to eat. The oatmeal had maple syrup in it, and she savored each bite.
Jackson closed the bedroom door and pulled the chair up beside the bed. “I’ve been doing some thinking about what you said yesterday. I’d like to discuss it with you, if you don’t mind.”
She’d known he’d want answers. Eliza had just hoped he’d wait until she felt better. But truthfully, she wasn’t sure she’d ever feel better about this. So she nodded her consent.
He sat down. “Explain to me what you meant yesterday. What will I want that you can’t give me?” He placed his elbows on his knees and leaned forward.
Eliza swirled her spoon in the gooey cereal. “Charlie and I were married for three years. After two, we began to wonder why we didn’t have children so, I went to the doctor. He deemed me healthy but said that I probably couldn’t have children. I know someday you are going to want more children, Jackson. And I can’t have them.”
“I see.” He folded his hands between his knees. A frown drew his brows together. Confusion filled his deep stormy eyes.
“No, you don’t. I’ve seen the way you look at Peter. You want children. I can’t give them to you. So if we keep our marriage—” she paused searching for the right words “—a marriage of convenience, then when you are tired of me and want a real wife who can give you children, we won’t have bonded in that special, intimate way. And you will be free to go.” She’d spoken so fast, Eliza felt as if she’d run two miles. She sucked air into her lungs and waited to see what his reaction would be.
* * *
Jackson stood and walked to the window. He played with the white stone and watched the miniature rainbows dance about the room. Did he want children that badly? Bad enough to never have a true marriage with Eliza? To never hold her? Truth be told, he’d never thought about having children of his own.
He walked back to where she lay. Her face was pale. Dark brown hair rested on her shoulders and her beautiful eyes were filled with sorrow.
Instead of sitting on the chair, Jackson sat on the edge of her bed. He was careful not to move her leg. “Yesterday, when I thought I would lose you,
I didn’t want to live any longer myself. You have become my everything. Up until I met you, my life was lonely and boring.”
She started to speak and he stopped her by holding up a hand. “Let me finish.” At her nod he continued. “Then you came along and it hasn’t been boring since. I’m no longer lonely. Because of you, I am now a part of a real family.”
“But, Jackson, I can’t have children. Someday you are going to want them and then what?”
He took the bowl from her hands and set it on the table. “We have Peter and if we want more children there are orphanages full of them.”
A tear slipped down her cheek. “But they won’t be blood of your blood or flesh of your flesh.”
“No, but I will still love them. Peter wasn’t born to us, either, but I love him just the same. My heart ached at the thought that I might have lost him yesterday.” He reached forward and wiped the tears from her face.
She shook her head. “No. Charlie said it didn’t bother him, either, but I saw the longing in his eyes.”
Jackson gently took her face in his hands. “I’m not Charlie. I love you, Eliza. If God sees fit to grant us children, so be it. But if He doesn’t, I am content to be a husband to you and a father to Peter.”
“Do you mean that?” Her eyes searched his face. She reached up and touched the cleft in his chin. Her palm cupped his jaw as her eyes looked deeply into his.
He could tell she wanted to believe him. Jackson leaned forward and kissed her. As he pressed his lips against hers, he silently prayed that God would let her feel the love he felt for her. That God would convince her that he was speaking from the heart. Jackson felt her arms snake around his neck. Her fingers curled into the hair at the nape of his neck.
When they pulled apart, he leaned his forehead against hers and said, “I love you, Eliza Kelly Hart. With or without children, you are my life. Please say we can be a real family.”
Eliza moved her head back and looked deeply into his eyes once more. He prayed she could see his unwavering love there. She pulled his face to hers and gently kissed his lips again. When she broke the kiss, Eliza sighed. “Yes, I’m ready to be a real wife and make this a real family. I love you, Jackson Hart. I think I always have.”
Epilogue
“Are you sure? I mean, I never thought, well at one time I thought. But not now. Are you sure?” Eliza looked at Dr. Clark. “I’ve been sick with this stomach flu for a couple of weeks. Are you sure it’s not the stomach flu?”
He shook his head as he walked to the washbasin. “Most women don’t question me, Mrs. Hart. I’ve been a doctor for over thirty years and I’ve never been wrong in this case.”
“Never? But the other doctor, he said...” Eliza felt the words close in her throat. Why was she arguing with him? This was an answered prayer.
After washing and drying his hands off, Dr. Clark walked back to her. “Never. Whatever that other doctor told you might have been true at the time. But I’m positive you will be having a baby in six short months. All the signs are there.”
She just couldn’t believe that she was going to have a baby. Eliza found herself protesting again. “But the other doctor, he told me that since I’d not gotten in the family way after two years of trying that I probably never would.”
Doctor Clark sat down on a stool in front of her. He took her cold hands between his much warmer ones. “That was with your first husband, right?”
Eliza nodded. Could it be true? Did she dare believe that she and Jackson were going to have a baby? Fear of being that happy crushed any hopes she might have.
He gave her hands a gentle squeeze. “And he laid the blame at your feet, didn’t he?”
Again Eliza nodded as tears filled her eyes. She remembered the day like it was yesterday. The coldness in the other doctor’s voice, the disappointed look in Charlie’s eyes. The words echoed in her memories. “You will never have children, Mrs. Kelly.”
The doctor rubbed her hands in his, pulling her back to the present. “Eliza, some doctors won’t consider that it could be the husband with the problem and not the wife.” A smile touched his lips and he continued. “But I am of the mind-set that you are a healthy young woman who is three months pregnant. Now, go on home and tell that husband of yours to get ready. He’s about to become a new papa. And put that other doctor’s words right out of your pretty little head.”
Eliza couldn’t contain her joy any longer and squealed. She grabbed Doctor Clark and hugged his neck. “A mother! I’m finally going to be a mother!” She released him and grabbed her handbag and hat. “Thank you, Dr. Clark.”
He laughed, stood and walked with her to the door. “Thank your husband. He’s the one that made it happen.”
She felt heat fill her cheeks. Eliza ducked her head and grinned. “I will.”
Eliza hurried from the doctor’s office and headed to the smithy. She couldn’t wait to give Jackson the good news.
The past six months had been filled with one wonderful happening after another. First, Jackson finished the house while her ankle healed and then promptly moved her and Peter in. She loved her new home and business.
Then, Eve and Lucas had renewed their vows in front of the whole church and bought a house in Cottonwood Springs. Lucas now worked at the sawmill and her sister was much easier to get along with and seemed extremely happy. To everyone’s joy, the spoiled woman of a few months ago was gone.
Eve had written to their parents to tell them they were both living in Cottonwood Springs and were happy. She’d invited them to come spend the holidays and they had answered that they would be arriving in Durango in the fall.
She couldn’t wait to tell her parents about the baby. Eliza’s thoughts turned to the new dresses she’d be making as her body grew and changed. Filled with those happy thoughts she walked into the smithy. Thankfully Jackson was alone.
He stood beside the forge, pounding a long metal pole. When Jackson saw her he set his tools aside. “Did the doctor give you something for your upset tummy?” he asked as he walked to her.
Eliza smiled. “No, he said it would cure itself in six months.” It was all she could do to hold her tongue and see if he would guess that they were going to have a baby.
He frowned and concern filled his cobalt eyes. “That’s a long time to be sick. Maybe we should drive up to Durango.” He pulled her against his chest and gave her a hug.
She enjoyed the feel of his arms around her for a few minutes and then leaned back to look into his face. She shook her head, trying unsuccessfully not to smile. “No, the doctor there will say the same thing.”
Jackson searched her face. He saw the joy in her eyes and the way her lips twitched. “Woman, are you toying with me?”
“A little.” She couldn’t contain the smile any longer. “If I am going to be sick for six more months, can you guess what might be wrong with me? It’s something that makes me very happy. I hope it makes you happy, too. I mean, I know we talked about it and the fact that I didn’t think it was possible. But I was wrong.” Eliza frowned. What if he really didn’t want more children?
Jackson tried to work through the words that spilled from his wife’s lips. As understanding dawned, he grinned. “Eliza Hart, are you trying to tell me we are going to have a baby?”
She captured her bottom lip between her teeth and nodded. “Oh, Jackson, say you are happy. I couldn’t stand it if you weren’t. I’ve wanted a baby for so long.”
He tossed his head back and laughed. His sweet little wife’s emotions were running amock. Just like any pregnant mama’s should. Why hadn’t he read the signs? They were going to have a baby.
Jackson picked her up and spun around. Her laughter joined his as she pleaded, “Stop, you are making me dizzy.”
“Woman, you have made me dizzy from the moment you told me you were my mail
-order bride!” Jackson stopped and slowly slid her down his body until she touched the ground.
Eliza looked up into his face. “So you are happy?”
“Honey, I have been happy ever since you said you’d marry me.” Jackson cupped her face in his hands and kissed her lips.
He thanked the Lord above for bringing this chatty woman into his life and he hoped she’d feel his happiness and love through the many kisses they shared.
God willing, they were going to have many children, and he’d work hard to make sure Eliza was as happy as she made him.
When they parted she rested her head on his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat. She loved the sound and the man more than words could express.
He squeezed her close. “I love you, Eliza Kelly Hart.”
Eliza reached up and ran her finger through the cleft in his chin. Though she knew every feature of his face by heart, she drank in his eyes, lips and hair. Being in his arms, knowing they were going to have a baby and that she was loved and could express her love for him was better than she’d ever dreamed. She grinned. “I love you, too, and I’m glad Hannah answered a mail-order bride ad for me.”
Jackson nuzzled his face into her neck. “Me, too.”
To Eliza’s way of thinking, she and Jackson would enjoy the life that Hannah had set in motion by answering a mail-order bride advertisement. Delight caressed her like butterfly wings. Eliza thanked the Lord above for the love she’d found with Jackson. Never again would they walk alone, their love would last forever.
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt of A Royal Marriage by Rachelle McCalla!
Dear Reader,
Eliza Kelly is a woman after my own heart. She speaks her mind and often too quickly. God has dealt with me about such things and so it was fun to share Eliza’s story and let her be the talkative one for a change. Unlike Eliza, I can’t sew dresses and clothes. I do enjoy quilting and have made several quilts. If I had been born in the 1800s I’m sure I would have learned to sew more. Yes, I admit, I enjoy going to the store and buying my clothes.
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