I laughed. “I guess that’s partly the truth. My black ass sat there watching my furniture get loaded on a truck and realized I had finally hit rock bottom.” I shook my head. Just talking about it made me realize just how pathetic my life was. “But you’re my girl and I woulda been here regardless—even if I had a man at home laid up in the bed waiting on me.”
“Wow! That means a lot coming from you.” Nikki gave a sad laugh and then hugged Rudy close to her body. “I just wished Donovan would wake up just long enough to tell me who has my son. That’s all I ask.”
“I guarantee my godson is just fine. Don loved that boy and he would never have done anything to hurt him. Speaking of hurting . . . once again my bladder is full. Dammit. I can’t get a break for nothing.” I pulled myself up from the couch and was walking around the table when I felt something wet running down my leg. “What the hell? Now I’m peeing on myself.”
“What?” Nikki jumped up from the chair and moved to take a closer look. Just then I felt a huge gush and I completely wet the floor.
“Oh, my God!” I gasped.
For the first time since I arrived, Nikki gave me that goofy laugh of hers. “Netta, honey. Looks like you’re in labor.”
After that everything started happening so fast. I contacted my OB office back in Richmond and the receptionist assured me she’d have Dr. Brown contact labor and delivery with my medical history. By the time we finally arrived at Barnes Jewish Hospital and I was admitted to a private room, I started freaking out while Nikki just got a kick out of the entire scenario. People were sticking me in my arm and strapping devices to my belly. It was way too much. And let’s not forget the pain.
“Nikki, what the hell is happening to me?”
“Netta, you’re having a baby.”
I wanted to slap that silly smirk off her face. What the hell was there to be happy about? Here I was about to become a single parent with some demon child trying to rip out my insides. There was no way this shit was happening to me.
“Hurry and get it out of me!” I growled.
Nikki came over and started stroking my cheek. “It’s not time yet. You’ve only dilated six centimeters.”
I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths. The pain was gone for now. I didn’t know what in the hell possessed a woman to ever want to give birth a second time, because this was the worst pain I had ever felt in my life. My legs were jackknifed along my stomach, I was sweating like crazy, and there was no doubt I looked a hot mess. What woman in her right mind would want to endure these kinds of cramps?
My nurse walked into the room. “How’s she doing?”
“How the hell you think I’m doing? My insides are being ripped out and no one cares!”
The nurse gave me a sympathetic smile. Like I wanted her pity. If anything, I should feel sorry for her and that jacked-up weave on her head. I guess God don’t like ugly because another contraction hit me and this one was worse than the last. I screamed and Nikki took my hand and I squeezed it.
“I want something for pain!”
The nurse shook her head. “I wish we could, but you’re too far along. The baby should be here pretty soon.”
This was not happening to me. Here I was lying in a hospital bed having a baby with no father by my side to tell me how beautiful I looked and that everything was going to be all right. It just wasn’t fair.
There was a knock and I glanced up long enough to see Mama coming through the door with a small flower arrangement. What the hell did I need with flowers? What she should have been doing was sneaking in some drugs.
“How’s my angel doing?”
Nikki gave a rude snort. “Acting like the devil.”
She chuckled gleefully. “I can’t wait to hold my little granddaughter.”
The doctor came in and introduced himself as Dr. Kevin Mason. The second I was hit by another contraction, he poked around inside my coochie and I screamed. “Dammit, get this baby out!”
He removed his hand and grinned. “I think we’re ready to have this baby.”
“About time,” I murmured. I was already getting tired. Having a baby was just too much damn work.
I laid there while they disassembled the birthing bed and my feet were finally in the stirrups.
“Just relax. You’re almost there,” Nikki said, trying to make me feel better. She had been a good friend and I don’t know what I would have done without her. It’s funny, but at the end of the day all you really got is family and friends, ’cause a man ain’t dependable for shit.
“Trinette,” the doctor said. “With this next contraction I want you to push.”
I just started nodding my head when that pain shot through my pelvis. “Aw w ww!”IscreamedandsqueezedNikki’sfingers.
“Push, Netta!” my mother said. She was standing behind the doctor staring at my stretched-out kitty-cat.
“Dammit, I am pushing!” Oh, the shit hurt so bad I started crying.
“You’re doing just fine,” Nikki said.
I fell back against the bed and exhaled and barely had time to take a few short breaths before the pain hit me again.
“Trinette, I need you to keep pushing,” the doctor said like he had somewhere else he needed to be. Who the hell did he think he was, rushing me?
“Netta, I can see her head!” Mama was clapping her hands and getting all excited. “She’s got a full head of hair.”
Who cares? I leaned forward and pushed as hard as I could, but I was tired, dammit.
“That’s it,” Dr. Mason kept saying. “Keep pushing.”
“I’m too tired!”
“Netta, dear . . . listen to your Mama. You have to push, baby.”
“I can’t do it!” I cried. “It hurts too bad!” I wailed and wished they would all just get out of my room and let me rest.
“Netta, the faster you get that baby out, the better you’ll feel. Now push, dammit!” Nikki said, trying to be the boss of me. As soon as the pain hit me again I leaned forward and pushed with everything I had. I don’t know how long I lay there panting and pushing before I finally heard a baby cry.
“It’s a girl! A little girl!” Mama cried. “And she’s beautiful.”
Of course. I didn’t expect any less.
“You did good, girl,” Nikki said with that silly grin and then kissed my cheek.
I lay back against the bed breathing heavy and was so glad it was over.
“Oh, she is beautiful!” I heard Nikki shriek.
I closed my eyes while the doctor stitched me up. I could hear the baby crying and my breasts tingled. I guess that’s that weird maternal bond shit I had read about in magazines. A woman’s body knows the child who lived in there for nine months.
Nikki and Mama were oohing and aahing, and next thing I knew I felt something on my chest.
“Congratulations, Mama, you have a beautiful little girl.”
The moment I opened my eyes and stared down at my daughter, I don’t know what happened to me. It was like my world started swaying beneath me and I felt this tug that was ten times stronger than when I met a gorgeous man. All I kept thinking was I had brought this little life in the world. She was lying there looking so helpless and beautiful. I don’t think I’d ever seen a baby that breathtaking before, and I’m not just saying that because she belonged to me. She truly outshined any baby I’d ever seen before.
Mama’s eyes got all misty. “Netta, she is so beautiful.”
I struggled to find the words to speak. “Yes, she is.”
I couldn’t stop staring at her. All I could think about was protecting this precious little creature from all the evils in the world. And the second she opened her eyes, I gasped and knew who her father was.
Leon.
I started to weep because I had taken this little girl’s daddy away from her. And she would grow up like I had, never knowing what it felt like to be truly loved by her father.
“She’s got Leon’s eyes.”
I glanced over a
t Nikki and nodded. “And his forehead.” I started laughing and crying at the same time.
This was my daughter. I was now a mother. Now ain’t that some shit?
I must have dozed off because I woke up hours later to find the lights dimmed and my mother asleep on the couch in the room. I turned to my side and groaned the second I felt those stitches down low.
Mama stretched, then opened her eyes. “You’re finally up, sleepyhead?”
I smiled. I remembered she used to call me that when I was a little girl. It’s funny that for the first time I actually remembered the bedtime stories and the few and far between moments we had shared together when she wasn’t chasing after the next high.
“Where’s Nikki?”
Her eyes got all misty. “She still has a missing child to find.”
In all the excitement, I had forgotten all about Aiden. I felt so bad for her. Here I was having a baby and hers was still out there somewhere.
“Why don’t you go home and get some rest?” I suggested. Mama’s hair was matted on her head and her clothes were wrinkled from sleeping on the couch.
“Your brother Travis’s gonna pick me up at nine when visiting hours are over. I need to first find out how my daughter is feeling.”
“Not bad, considering I just had my coochie stretched wide enough to birth a watermelon.” Mama laughed and I joined in.
“While you were sleeping I had a chance to hold my grandbaby.”
I felt my lips tilting upward.
“The whole time I was rocking her in the chair I was thinking to myself this little girl is my chance to get it right. I made a lot of mistakes raising you, but I want to be there for my grandbaby.”
“That’s good to hear because I’m going to need your help. I can’t do it all by myself.” Hell, I didn’t know the first thing about taking care of no baby.
“Look who’s finally awake!” My nurse came through the door holding a little bundle in her arms. She leaned over and I held out my arms and cradled her close. She was all cleaned up and smelled like baby lotion. I loved that smell.
“Are you planning to breast-feed?”
I flinched and scrunched up my face. Goodness, the last thing I wanted was for my breasts to sag, but as I listened to the nurse explain the health benefits to breast-feeding, I eventually decided to give it a chance.
“Okay, so make sure she latches on.”
The nurse took my breast in her hand and manhandled my nipple. I was growing impatient and was ready to cuss her ass out, but instead I decided to just let it go for the sake of my child. It took a few moments as she showed me how to get the baby to latch on. I started to get frustrated because she was heavy handed and my breasts already felt sore. Then finally my daughter grabbed on and started sucking.
“Mama, look, she’s doing it!” I exclaimed and then started crying again. Having a baby definitely throws your hormones all out of whack.
“Let her suck for a few more minutes, then try the other side,” the nurse instructed.
I nodded and turned my attention to my daughter while my nurse went to check on another patient.
Her little hand squeezed my finger. “She is so precious,” I whispered in awe. I still couldn’t believe she was mine.
“You’re gonna be a good mother. I’m certain of that. Better than I ever was.” A tear rolled down Mama’s cheek and I dropped my eyes briefly, allowing her a moment to pull herself together. Feeling sorry for my mother was a new emotion for me. But it sure felt better than hating her.
“Thanks, Mama.”
She shook her head. “I made a lot of mistakes while you and your brothers were growing up, and they say the scars of the mother become wounds of the children. I messed all your heads up with the drugs and the men and never being around when y’all needed me. And the rape . . .” She got choked up. “I’ll never forgive myself for allowing that to happen to you. But what I plan to do is to try and protect that little girl as much as I can because I don’t want her to have to live the life I lived or to go through the things you did.”
I nodded and felt my eyes getting all misty-eyed. “Mama, that’s all in the past. Today marks a new beginning. We got three generations of Meyers women in this room.”
She grinned at my statement. “Yes, I guess we do. Have you thought about what you want to call her?”
“Well, when I thought she was Jrue’s, I wanted to call her Symphony, but now that I know for sure she’s Leon’s, I think I would like to name her Leona.”
Mama appeared pleased by my answer. “Leona is a pretty name. Leona Montgomery.”
“Leona Darlene Montgomery.”
By now the tears were flowing down my mother’s face. “That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”
I finished feeding her on both sides, then handed her over to my mother, who burped her. “I guess I better get downstairs. Your brothers will be up with me in the morning to see the baby.” She kissed my cheek and I lay there in the bed staring down at my beautiful little girl as she slept. How could I already be in love with someone I had just met?
What I felt for my daughter I couldn’t even begin to explain, because it surpassed anything I had ever felt for any of the men in my life. I thought I had loved Jrue, but it didn’t even come close to what I was feeling as I gazed down at my little precious angel. I heard a light knock and I looked up and had to blink twice just to make sure I wasn’t seeing things.
“How are you feeling?” Leon walked slowly into the room like he was almost afraid to be near me.
“I’ve been better.” I looked up into his face. He was growing a goatee and it looked amazing on him. I never had been able to get him to grow one and now he was. I couldn’t help but feel a stab of jealousy that he was doing it for someone else. “How did you—”
He cut me off. “Nikki called me this morning and told me you were in labor.”
My stomach did a flip-flop. “And you came all this way to see me?”
“No . . . I came to see my daughter.”
“She’s . . . she’s right here.” I pointed to the side of my bed. Leon came around and I watched his face as his eyes landed on his daughter for the first time. A huge smile tipped his lips.
“Can I hold her?”
Smiling, I nodded. “Of course you can.”
I watched as he lifted her into his arms as if she were priceless china.
“She looks just like you.”
For the first time he looked down at me and gave me a real smile. “Yep, she does.” He chuckled softly, then brought her to his lips and kissed her. “Hey, Little Bit. I’m your daddy.”
I knew I had no right, but at the moment I thought about the three of us being a family. If I had never messed with Jrue or had even ended the relationship when I had first realized I was pregnant, Leon and I would still be together.
“Does she have a name?” Leon asked.
I looked at him and nodded. “I named her Leona Darlene, after your mother and mine.”
He nodded. “Wait until she hears that.” He laughed and brought her cheek to his lips and kissed her again. “Mom and Dad wanted to come down, but I told them to just wait until we’re back in Richmond.”
We’re. My heart started pounding.
“Leon, I—”
Again he cut in before I could even explain. “Trinette, there is nothing you can say that will change what you did to me and our marriage. But this is my daughter and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make sure she has a good life. The kind of life she was supposed to have had with two parents.”
Leona must have known we were talking about her. She started fussing, and I held out my arms. “She’s probably hungry.” I unsnapped my gown and whipped out my breast. I noticed that Leon tried to look away. My DDs were one of the things he had loved most about me, so I knew there was no way he was going to be able to look away for long. While my daughter sucked hungrily, he just stood there and watched with fascination.
�
�I can’t believe you’re breast-feeding.”
You ain’t the only one. “The nurse said it’s important and I want this little girl to have what she needs.”
I knew he was surprised to hear something like that from a woman as selfish as I was, but nothing was going to mean more to me than this little girl, and if he’d just give me another chance I would prove it.
“Leon, just seeing my daughter . . . our daughter . . . made me realize just how stupid I had been. I want her to have two parents.”
He nodded. “I agree.”
What did he just say? I didn’t want to get ahead of myself, but was he saying what I thought he said?
Leon moved over to the chair beside my bed and took a seat. “I want you to come back to Richmond.”
“Okay.” Yep, he did, and I was seconds away from leaping out of that bed and over onto his lap if I wasn’t nursing my daughter. I moved her so she could nurse from my other breast and got ready to speak, but Leon spoke first.
“Wait a second. Before you say anything, let me finish.” He shifted on the seat. “You hurt me, Trinette. Not once, but twice, and I’ll never be able to forgive you for that. I’ve already filed for a legal separation and my lawyer should be getting in touch with you.”
“Excuse me?” There was no way. I just gave birth to his daughter. “Didn’t you just ask me to come back to Richmond?”
“So we can share joint custody.”
No he didn’t. “I’ll have to think about it.”
Leon leaned closer and I noticed the fire burning in his eyes. “Well, I advise you to think long and hard, because if you refuse to return to Virginia I plan on fighting you for custody.”
“What? Custody?” I gave a nervous laugh. “No judge in the world would tear a child away from her mother.”
“They will when they see the video of you and Jrue. Oh yeah, I forgot. You had no idea, but I installed a video camera in the condo out on the deck. I wanted to make sure our tenants were respecting the property. I just never expected to see a video of my wife fucking another man.”
Busted.
“I also spoke with Jrue and told him I’d let him know if he was the father. In exchange, he has agreed to appear in court as a witness if there is a custody battle.”
Consequences Page 22