by London Casey
“Ready, baby?”
Ready? She’d been ready. “Ye-es.” Her voice broke mid-word as he pushed her hips away.
Without warning, he jerked her back toward him, ramming home. Her neck arched and her eyes went blind. She swallowed a scream. He did it again. And again. Buffeted by his heavy thrusts, she came apart. The paroxysms of orgasm were stronger this time, more visceral. He pulled her tight against him and grunted as she spasmed around him, supported only by his big hands on her hips and her shoulders on the mattress. Long moments later, her shudders began to calm and he pushed her thighs up, dropping his weight onto his hands and pinning her legs to his shoulders. His thrusts now were deep and fast, setting off little aftershocks of pleasure. In moments, he stiffened over her. She watched his face in wonder. There was a savage beauty to him in this moment, and she had a sudden urge to see if she could make him do it again.
Before the urge could even solidify, the pulses of his release registered. Oh. Like a faint throbbing inside her, it sparked a sense of intimacy she hadn’t expected. Tears pricked her eyes. Her first lover. Her love.
She relinquished his weight reluctantly when he slipped from the clutch of her body. Gentle hands stroked her thighs and returned her legs to the bed. “Don’t move,” he said, the taut strain of desire gone, leaving his voice warm and quiet. He left her and padded into the adjacent bathroom. Eden sniffed behind the cover of running water. While he was gone, she wiped the moisture from her eyes. He would want to know why she was crying if she didn’t get ahold of herself and she wasn’t sure the time was right for unapologetic honesty. Down the street, the sound of a car door closing made her think of Ryan. She glanced at the phone, briefly wishing she could call him to talk about orgasms and love and tears. But Seth emerged from the bathroom and she turned away from that desire.
Still nude, Seth crossed the room and turned off the overhead light. Eden waited until he rejoined her before she reached for the lamp. Seth’s weight in her bed felt so right that she decided not to remark upon it, hoping for a foregone conclusion that he would stay instead of leaving to go home.
“Hold still a minute,” he said, his palm settling upon her thigh. Eden stilled. In the dark, Seth drew a warm wash cloth between her legs. She bit her lip, holding steady as he cleaned the evidence of her first time. She hadn’t thought to check for blood. He’d thought of it, though. His consideration roused her tear ducts back to life.
She blinked hard and rolled toward him when he finished. “Thank you.”
He scooped her close to his side and reclined, pulling her with him. “My pleasure.”
Seth stared at the ceiling, Eden slept cuddled into his side. It had been a long time since he’d wanted to hold someone. Sex was one thing, but affection was something else entirely. He liked sex, and he’d had plenty of it since the divorce, but he hadn’t felt an impulse to carry any of those relationships beyond the physical. Eden, though, tugged at him, pulling emotions out of him with an ease that made him wary.
Joanne’s betrayal had cut deeply, perhaps more deeply because he understood why she had turned from him. She hadn’t signed on to be the wife of a fireman, and he’d turned her orderly world upside down. As his family continually reminded him, he’d walked away from his obligations. Unsurprisingly, they blamed him for Joanne’s affair. And why not? He blamed himself. If he hadn’t been so hell-bent on being a firefighter, abandoning his place in his father’s firm and jettisoning his social obligations in favor of the insane schedule of the firehouse, Joanne would have been content with their marriage.
Content. He didn’t want content. He’d been content, too, and it damned well wasn’t enough. He didn’t want the comfortable partnership he’d had with Joanne before 9/11. If their marriage had been stronger, more about them as a team than as a working duo, his decision to leave finance to become a firefighter wouldn’t have broken them. Yes, he bore the brunt of the blame for that, but, dammit, she had some responsibility, too. He hadn’t shoved her into bed with Brent.
He let his breath out slowly, aware that he’d tensed up just thinking about that mess.
Eden stirred. “What is it?”
Her sleepy voice sparked a surge of pride. He’d done that. His lovemaking had exhausted her. It felt good.
“Nothing. Go back to sleep.” He shifted to accommodate her stretch and surprised himself by scooping his arm around her shoulders.
“I’m not tired anymore. I’m used to being awake at night.” She rubbed her cheek against his chest and breathed a soft, sated sound. A moment later her shoulder tensed, the change so small he wouldn’t have noticed it if she hadn’t been so intimately twined around him. “Do you want to go?”
He glanced down at her mussed hair, which was all he could see of her from his position. “I don’t want to go.”
“Are you sure?” She raised her head, her face a pale smudge in the darkly draped room. “I won’t be offended. You’re used to your bed.”
“Your bed is comfortable.” He hooked his index finger around a tousled tangle of her hair and pushed it behind her ear. Her eyelashes lowered, hiding the glitter of her eyes. Seth hesitated. If he confessed troubled thoughts, she would ask after them. Curious and forthright as she was, she would ask. Making the decision quickly, he said, “I followed the wrong train of thought. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
A long pause greeted his admission, eventually broken by, “What were you thinking about?”
He cupped her cheek and guided her head back to his chest. “My ex-wife.”
Eden draped her silky thigh across his legs. “Do you miss her?”
The question, combined with the lack of censure in her tone, shook him. He narrowed his eyes at the top of her head. “Are you serious?”
“Yes. It would be understandable if you did. Life with a person…” She shrugged. “I imagine it’s hard not to miss them once in a while.”
“I don’t miss her,” he said.
“Oh.”
He couldn’t bring himself to follow up with clarification. The circumstances surrounding his divorce weren’t a secret but they also had no place in Eden’s bed. She would ask again. The next time, he’d tell her. Even as he made the decision, he realized it was inevitable. He’d already begun to second-guess his initial decision that he would be able to burn through his attraction to her. Her brand of responsiveness, attuned so closely to him, wouldn’t be easy to walk away from. He’d spent himself inside her less than an hour earlier and already he wanted her again. Before it was all over, she was going to know more about him and he was going to try to learn more about her. Maybe his willingness to talk about his past would loosen her reluctance to give on the topic of Ryan Edwards.
Stroking her narrow back from shoulder to hip, he asked, “Are you sore?”
Her breath hitched. “Do you mean am I up for another round?”
“Yes.”
“Can I be on top this time?”
Her question surprised him into laughing. “Is that where you want to be?”
“I’m already halfway there.” She nudged the inside of his thigh with her knee. “It’d take less effort for me to finish crawling over you than for you to get out from under me and turn over.”
“I suppose it would.” Palming the curve of her ass, he urged her off the mattress. Eden peeled the sheet away and stretched out along his body. Her knees notched down outside his thighs. Seth shifted beneath her, repositioning himself so his growing erection wouldn’t jab her stomach.
“You felt good inside me,” she said, folding her arms across his chest and propping her chin atop them. “The first time you pushed inside, I…it’s hard to put in words. It was like you shook loose a thousand nerve endings, like they were busy sleeping until you drove by. Will it feel the same this time?”
By the time she quieted, he was trembling and glad he couldn’t see the nuances of her expression. If her eyes at all matched her words, he’d be finished before he even started. As it was, he had t
o force an even tone to his voice. “Maybe not.”
“Then I’m glad you went slow.”
“You weren’t so glad then.”
“I like to have the whole experience all at once. You know how some people think it’s clever to give a gift one piece at a time?”
“Like wrapping each cuff link separately?”
“Yes, exactly. It’s not clever and you want the whole gift at once. If someone wanted to give you two packages, they should’ve given you two gifts.”
“Is there something you want two of, Eden?”
She paused. He imagined she had that thoughtful look on her face, the one that pursed her lips and drew her brows together. He liked that look, it made him remember there was a very active brain behind her beauty. But she was thinking too much right now.
“Don’t think so hard. Sex isn’t supposed to take so much brain power. If it took mental capacity, my blood wouldn’t all head south.” He rolled his hips to demonstrate his point.
She laughed, a puff of air against his face, and the surprised sound made him smile. He’d smiled more with her tonight than he had with any woman in a very long time. The thought was sobering. He’d have been happier about it if he thought he could trust her. His instincts said he could, but the evidence wasn’t so clear. She hadn’t lied to him; on the contrary, she’d been startlingly honest, but the fact remained that her relationship with Ryan Edwards was more than she would own up to. He didn’t like that a bit. The irritation mixed with his arousal, giving it a sharper edge. Earlier, he’d been totally in control, focused on readying her for him, on making her first time worth the wait. There was also the anticipation, building toward that first moment of penetration, the first moment of feeling her clasp around him. The combination had given him more control than he’d known he had, but it was gone now.
“Now you’re thinking too much.” She leaned forward, her lips brushing over his. “I guess I’m not doing my part if you can still think that much.”
Evidently taking his thoughtfulness as a challenge, she pushed herself up, leaving her palms on his chest. The position forced the soft flesh between her thighs to part around the hardening length of his arousal. It was like being cupped by damp, heated silk. He grunted in response, his hands coming up to grip her hips, steadying her. Slowly, she inched forward along him, then back, a tiny movement that did amazing things to his nerve endings. Without the gushing wetness of her earlier readiness, the back and forth slide generated a degree of friction that bordered on pain. She repeated the motion and he groaned, relishing the harder sensation.
“What are you doing?” Even as the words left his mouth, he knew they were idiotic. It was obvious what she was doing. What he really wanted to know was what she was going to do next.
“Playing. You’re kind of daunting, and a newly-ex-virgin needs to work up her nerve. So I’m kind of easing into it. Plus, you got to do all the playing last time. I should get a chance.”
He couldn’t very well argue with that, especially when those little movements were making him so hot he could barely think at all. Still, he had to take a stab at preserving his sanity. “In the morning, you’re going to feel like you lost a really rough game of Smear the Queer.”
“Mmm.” She pressed her fingernails into the muscles beneath his nipples, reminding him of a brazen cat. “I always liked the particular soreness that came after playing football with R—with the guys.”
His back teeth ground together. She’d recovered quickly but he hadn’t missed the slip. “I’ve never been known for pulling punches, Eden,” he said, trying and failing to hide the raw nerve she’d tweaked.
“I already figured that out about you.”
“Look at me and tell me again you aren’t fucking with me.” He needed her to say it. He was too close to getting out from under her and walking because of this, and he knew it was unreasonable. He knew she hadn’t had sex with Edwards. He knew that, whatever their relationship, it wasn’t the same as Joanne. He still needed to hear it.
“I’m not fucking with you. I’m not.”
He loosened his jaw. She’d stopped moving. Uncertainty changed the way she held herself atop him, set her apart even though she hadn’t actually broken the skin-on-skin contact.
“Seth?”
He closed his eyes, not sure he wanted to hear her next words. “Yeah?”
“I’m sorry. I wrecked the mood, didn’t I?”
He almost regretted prodding her, but decided that he probably didn’t have enough of a hold on himself to be fair company. And she was being optimistic, thinking she’d be comfortable with his cock buried inside her again so soon. “Yeah, but we’ll get over it. Come here.”
She scooted up to nestle atop his chest, tucking her face in the crook of his neck. “Thanks. I’m sorry.”
“You already apologized.” He couldn’t help but wonder how much of the change in mood could be contributed to her blunder and how much could be attributed to his issues. Whatever the reason, it disturbed him to realize holding her was enough. He kissed her shoulder.
She shrugged. “I got you a little worked up, then backed off. Isn’t that being a cock tease or something?”
Laughter dispelled his encroaching dark mood. He squeezed her tight. “Or something. You can make it up to me in the morning.”
Chapter Five
“Hello, stranger.”
Eden smiled, her spirits immediately lifted by the sound of Ry’s voice. She tossed her bag on the passenger side floorboard and straightened to greet him as he walked the short stretch of the driveway. “Hello yourself,” she said, hugging him hard as soon as he was within reach. “I missed you. Never go away for a romantic weekend again.”
He chuckled and squeezed around her waist, his kiss on her cheek familiar and quick. “I missed you too. How was your date? Or has it become dates?”
“It was good.” Her smile widened. “Hot. Not plural yet, though. Almost tonight, but someone called out at the hospital and I have to go in. We’re having the expected schedule issues.”
“With your schedule and his, it’ll be a miracle if you have more than two dates a month. At that rate, I’ll be an old man before I have to worry about you too much.”
“Mmmm. You might want to move your worry schedule up a bit.” She knew she looked smug. Even if she could have controlled her expression, she didn’t want to.
“Uh-oh. You did the deed on the first date. Why you floozy.”
Her lips twitched. “We did, and it was fantastic. Even if I screwed up the mood after.”
“I’m glad it was fantastic.” He frowned. “But what do you mean you screwed up the mood?”
She blew out a breath. “He said something and I, totally unthinking, brought you up. I caught myself, but it was too late. Damage done. Nothing kills a mood like bringing up another guy.”
“Shit. Don’t bring me into that. He’s annoyed enough about our friendship already.”
“Tell me about it. I think there’s something there. Did you know he has an ex-wife?”
Ry blinked. “No.”
“Yeah. Something nasty about that. I’ll work on getting it out of him. But right now I have to go. Catch you later?”
“Sure. Don’t forget you’re supposed to do that schmooze deal with Michael.”
“I won’t forget. Speaking of Michael, any movement on the DA front?”
He shook his head. “No. I think that’s part of what this get-together is for this week. They’re pressing him for a decision.”
“What does Michael think?”
“He’s not sure. It’s a big deal. He’d need to out himself to his boss and see if they even still want him to run, so that would completely change the dynamics in his office.”
“It would. And if he decides to do that and they still want him to run, it’s going to put a monkey wrench in your work life.”
He made a face. “Understatement of the century. I’d be totally screwed. Still, I think you’re right about
that. I don’t think they’d fire me, but it’d be hell.”
“I don’t know. They’ve known you a long time. It might not be as bad as you think.”
The look he slanted her let him know what he thought of that. “Right. And pink pigs might fly out of my ass, too.”
Eden laughed. “Okay, okay. Just keep me in the loop.”
“Always do. Now, get out of here.”
“I’m going, I’m going.”
The next evening, Seth called her at work and asked her to meet him for a quick bite in the hospital cafeteria. She had to arrange a trade with another doctor but managed to get away only ten minutes past their tentative meeting time. By the time she reached the cafeteria, the dinner crowd had arrived in force. Eden craned her neck, peering through the crowd in search of Seth’s dark hair. She spotted him before he saw her and pushed past a cluster of CNAs who were standing in the way. Before she made it halfway across the dining room, he looked up and met her eyes. The weight of the two patients she’d lost on the table that afternoon slid off her shoulders and she smiled.
He stood when she reached the table and cupped the nape of her neck. The kiss he pressed to her lips startled her, as did the instant, hot response between her legs. She touched his hip instinctively, steadying herself. The flavor of his mouthwash lingered on her tongue after he lifted his head. They needed to find time to be alone together. Soon. The look he gave her said he agreed.
“I had no idea the hospital cafeteria was such a night spot,” he said.
Clearing her throat, she pushed her smile back into place. “It’s a Friday evening. The last visitation hours until Monday for the folks who only get up to see family on their way home from work.”