by London Casey
Eden leaned closer to his body, her hair brushing along the insides of his thighs, her breath deliberately heating his erection. Her eyes were still locked with his, and she let them fill with emotion. If he looked, he would see the desire, the need, the love she felt for him. She ran her tongue across her lips and his eyes followed the motion. His nostrils flared when she brushed her fingers through the dark, coarse hair. His cock flexed, as if it had a will of its own, separate from Seth’s iron control.
She cupped the soft, vulnerable skin beneath that surging hardness, danced her fingers over him with careful, light touches. His hips lifted involuntarily before he tensed and forced himself back into the seat of the chair. She smiled knowingly at him, then hardened the point of her tongue and licked the underside of his shaft from base to tip, one stroke. His fingers clenched convulsively around the arms of the chair. He tasted sexy, like smoke and musk, like of the rest of his skin, but stronger, darker.
“Why fight it, Seth? I only want to pleasure you,” Eden murmured, sliding her open mouth up the length of him. “You want me, I want you. Can’t you just enjoy what I want to give you?”
“You’re doing it again.”
She was too honest to deny it, too desperate to stop. She ignored his statement, gripping the base of his shaft to hold it steady while she strung kisses around the tip.
“Eden. This doesn’t solve anything. We need to—”
He halted abruptly as she sucked the head of his cock into her mouth, laving over it with her tongue. She didn’t want to have this conversation now. She didn’t want to have it at all, but definitely not now. She hadn’t thought herself a coward before, but she knew the truth of it now. When it came to Seth, she was absolutely without courage.
Even as she enjoyed pleasuring him, some part of her was disgusted at her manipulation. Part of her wanted him to call her on it.
Heavy hands landed on the back of her head. His fingers tunneled through her hair. Despite his thorough use of her earlier, new heat dropped low between her thighs. She raised her head and met his eyes, deliberately choosing words that would excite him, feeling simultaneously low and powerful as she did. “Your hands on me make my pussy clench.”
Swift, tight response showed in the flare of his nostrils and the abrupt tension that made the tendons of his neck stand out. His grip on her hair tightened. He lifted her head, holding her mouth out of reach of his cock. She tried to lick him but he pushed his thumbs behind her ears and tilted her chin higher.
“I know,” he said. “I know why you’re Edwards’ perpetual date.”
Dread and relief flipped simultaneously in her stomach. “What do you mean?”
“Come on, Eden. Did you really think I wouldn’t figure out Ryan is gay?”
“How—”
“I have eyes,” he said, and pinned her with them. “And even as stupid as you’ve made me, a brain. What I want to know is which of us are you going to choose?”
The question killed something inside her. Eden swallowed, dizzy as his words buzzed inside her skull, over and over again. Choose. She struggled to force words past her suddenly numb tongue. They came as a ragged whisper. “I can’t.”
His jaw worked. “You have to.”
“I can’t. I love them.” Tears stung her eyes. She dug her fingernails into his knees and squeezed, trying to communicate the depth of her abrupt despair. “Please don’t do this. Don’t make me choose between you.”
His Adam’s apple rose and fell. Leaning forward, he brought their faces close together. “You’re mine, Eden. Not Ryan’s, or fucking whoever’s. Michael’s. Mine. And I won’t make a secret of it, or let you. Ryan and I work together. You can’t be seen with him and be seen with me. It might’ve worked before, with you running between two different sets of people, but it won’t work any more.”
“You want me to pick you over my best friend.” Her tongue felt thick in her head. She couldn’t work her way past that part. If she chose Seth, the overpowering need she felt to be near him and hear his voice, she would lose the friend who knew her best in the world. Trembling, she closed her eyes and struggled against his hold on her hair, shaking her head in denial. Refusal. “I won’t pick you. I won’t throw him away. Seth, please. Please see that I can’t.” Her voice cracked. A sob surged in her chest, burst in a heaving breath that unleashed the tears she’d been fighting. “I need both of you.”
“How do you think the rest of your life is going to play out, Eden?” Seth’s thumbs rose, pressed the corners of her eyes until she opened them to look at him through the blur of her tears. “How do you think it’s going to go down? The entire station speculating whether you’re actually sleeping with me or whether you’re with Ryan? If you’re wearing my rings, do you intend to pretend they’re actually Michael’s when you’re with him? How many years do you think you can keep up that kind of a lie? What about kids? I want kids. What are you going to say to people when you show up at a garden party with Michael and you’re seven months’ pregnant? Are you going to tell people it’s his? Talk to them about what names you and he are fighting over?”
He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead, his breathing harsh, his voice low. “I have to make you choose. I’m sorry.”
Overwhelmed by the barrage of questions, by the dark twist of fear wrapping around her heart, she opened her mouth to say something—anything—but couldn’t find any words. The sobs she’d been fighting welled and choked her. Seth’s hands flexed in her hair, and then he dropped them, pushed her away and shoved from the chair. Eden curled on her side on the floor and covered her face. She couldn’t watch him leave.
The rustle of his clothing tore at her and the snap of his jeans was a dagger in her heart. The first tears seeped out with the quiet click of the closing door.
Chapter Seven
Michael answered the door. His gray suit was rumpled and his red patterned tie loose, as if he’d just walked in the door.
He took in her tear-stained face and swollen eyes and opened the door without a word.
She scooted past him and went straight upstairs to their bedroom. Michael’s footsteps were soft on the carpet behind her. Ryan sat on the edge of the bed, his hair still wet from the shower and his jaw unshaven. A single glance had him opening his arms to invite her in. God, she needed that. The simple warmth of his friendship.
“What happened, sweetie?”
She stepped out of her shoes and crawled onto the rumpled bed, dragging the corner of a blanket with her. She couldn’t get warm enough. Even Ryan’s arms coming around her only filed the edge off the chill. “Seth left. I love him and he left. And I’m sorry. He knows about you and Michael.”
From the door, Michael blew out a long breath. “Is that why you called? Ry called when he got up, but you didn’t answer.”
Eden squeezed her eyes shut, fighting a new wave of tears. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want him to know without talking to you first.”
Ry loosened his hold and pushed tangled hair from her face. “Don’t worry about that. What do you mean, he left?”
“He…” Shuddering, she shook her head. “God. After he saw me with Michael last night, he lost it. I thought he was gone. But he showed up this morning and he knew. He wanted me to answer all these questions—I don’t know what I’m going to do if I’m pregnant and you still need a date. I felt so stupid, I’d never thought—” A sob caught in her throat. She swallowed it and said, “I refused to choose him over you and Michael so he left.”
The shoulder beneath her cheek bunched. Behind her, Michael swore. Ryan palmed her forehead and pushed her head back, his touch so abrupt it startled her into opening her eyes. A flush darkened his cheekbones and his mouth thinned. That was Ryan angry. She blinked and recoiled, startled by the response. But she didn’t get far. Michael grabbed her elbow and turned her toward him. “Why the hell would you do that?”
“What—”
“Fuck, Eden,” Ry bit out beside her. He stood and pac
ed away, dragging both hands through his hair in agitation. “Don’t put that kind of weight on me.”
“But—”
“No fucking buts,” Michael said, shaking her by her arm. “This is not the arrangement. You do not sacrifice for us.”
“I told you to keep me out of this.” Ry swore again and slammed his fist against the wall beside the bathroom door. He wheeled away from the splintered plaster, grabbed his cell phone off the nightstand and threw it on her lap. “His number’s in there. Get him on the phone.”
“No phones.” Michael knocked it from her shaking hands and pulled her to her feet. “This has to be done in person. Consider your social calendar cleared, Eden. And make sure he knows to keep his mouth shut—”
“That’s not her responsibility either. I’ll talk to him myself.”
The clipped, angry words flying back and forth around her overwhelmed her as badly as Seth’s relentless string of question less than an hour earlier. Hurt, confused, she sat heavily on the bed. “I don’t understand. I thought you didn’t want me to tell him.”
“Dammit, think! Do you really think we’d expect you to ditch a real lover to pretend to be one for one of us?” She couldn’t remember ever seeing Ryan so angry, certainly not at her. “You just as good as told the man that he’s second string. How can you think I’d want that? It’s not your job to protect me. If you were worried about this, why didn’t you just fucking ask one of us?”
Michael sat now. “Angel, try to understand that as much as we love you, as much as we want you in our lives, we don’t make decisions based solely on how it impacts you. You have to do the same thing. You need to make decisions based on you, not on us. We’re big boys. We can fend for ourselves and you need to give us more credit.”
Oh, God. She’d screwed up. When they put it that way, she could see it. She’d taken too much on herself, assuming she knew what was best for everyone. Not only had she insulted Seth and the connection between them, she’d treated Ryan and Michael like kids unable to take care of themselves. When had she begun seeing herself not as their friend but as their shield? They were right. Seth was right.
“I’m sorry.” Her quiet words froze both men. “You’re right. I’ve made a mess of this.”
Michael gave her a small, forgiving pat on the arm.
Ryan crossed the room in two strides to enfold her in a rough hug. “We don’t need the apology. Go make this right.”
When he released her, she took a deep breath, stiffened her spine and gathered her resolve. She would make this right. Not fixing it was not an option.
She didn’t bother going back to her house to change from the wrinkled scrubs she’d pulled on before running to Ryan. She’d stupidly let him go, but she wasn’t going to give him a chance to go far. The drive wasn’t long enough for her to rehearse a speech. She whipped into a visitor space a few minutes later and started to leave her car. She froze. What if she’d waited too long? What if his leaving meant her window of opportunity to choose him had closed? She balled her hand around her car keys until the ridges and points dug into her palm, the discomfort edging past her fear. Before the fear could return, she jumped out and crossed the lot.
Seth’s apartment was a third floor unit. Eden jogged the two flights of stairs and banged on his door, operating on the principle of outrunning her anxiety. While she waited for him to answer, she paced the narrow landing. She had time to unwind and retwist her ponytail three times before she heard the latch give behind her. When she whirled toward the sound, she found him standing there, filling the narrow space behind the screen door. Shirtless. His jeans rode low on his hips, the fly undone.
Her throat tightened. “Seth. I’m sorry, I—”
“I don’t want to hear ‘I’m sorry’ from you.” He retreated into the shadowed apartment.
Eden advanced toward him. She reached for door latch but froze when a peculiar, strangled sound from him reached her ears.
“I want you too much to let you in unless you’re coming to stay,” he said, his tone as dark as the room behind him.
She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against the screen. “I’m stupid and self-important. I talked to Ryan and Michael. I guess I’m the only one who didn’t see how stupid I was.”
“You’re not stupid. But you need to figure out what’s important to you. And what’s worth sacrificing.”
Eden heard him move. The floor creaked gently as he came back to her. She opened her eyes to find him on the other side of the screen, the thin barrier of aluminum and net between them too much for her to bear.
“I didn’t mean to make you feel like you were second to anybody else,” she said, meeting his eyes through the screen. “I guess I was trying so hard to make everybody first that I didn’t realize how far behind I shoved you. Please let me say I’m sorry for that.”
His eyes closed briefly and a muscle worked in his jaw. “All right.”
When he said nothing further, she cleared her throat, trying to control the tiny dart of hope. “Can I come in?”
“I meant what I said. Don’t come in unless you’re staying.”
“I want to stay.”
Those storm cloud eyes searched her face. “I don’t mean just for today. I mean forever. I love you, Eden, and if I can’t have it all, I don’t think I could stand only having part.”
His words shot straight through her. He loved her. The little flutter of hope burst into full bloom. “Oh, Seth. Let me in. I promise you I’ll stay.”
Moving carefully, he opened the door, stepping aside. “This is your last chance. If you cross that threshold, you’re mine. I’m not sharing. Not with friends, not with anyone. I don’t mean you can’t see your friends, but no more of this dating shit.”
She shook her head. “No more dating.” Eyes locked with his, she stepped through the door. The screen door banged closed behind her.
“You have to mean this, Eden.”
“I do. I realize now that I can’t be their shield forever, they don’t even want me to be. It was comfortable for them, and I like feeling needed.” Before he could say anything, she added, “I wasn’t doing it to hurt you. Ryan and Michael helped me lead a normal life in med school. I would’ve lived in a cave, studying all the time, agonizing over whether I was cut out for it. I’m not one of those brilliant people who finds school easy. And even though I knew this was what I wanted to do with my life, I had such low moments of second-guessing. And it all became habit after a while. Ryan and Michael and work, my family, they were all I needed.
“But then I needed you, too. I guess I thought I could just shove you in with the rest of them, all equally important to me. You’re right, though. Somebody had to be more important than everybody else. You are more important.”
He was quiet, and Eden couldn’t keep herself from touching him. She closed the space separating them and wrapped her arms around his waist. All the protective, nurturing urges she’d been channeling into Ry’s relationship with Michael were suddenly, overwhelmingly committed to Seth and she needed to erase the tension from his body, the haggard lines from his face. She closed her eyes at sensation of completion as her body fit against the planes and hollows of his.
“I didn’t want to feel anything for you. I hated that you were keeping secrets from me. Don’t do that again.” His arms came around her, letting her know it would be all right.
She shook her head. “I won’t.”
“I don’t mind that you’re friends with him, baby, but I can’t be second.”
“You aren’t. I love you,” she said, turning her head and resting her cheek against the thud of his heartbeat. “And I didn’t really understand how much more you need from me than I…I don’t know. Than I thought a man needed from a woman. But I want to give it to you.”
He exhaled slowly, one muscle at a time unwinding, until his large palm caressed her cheek. She tilted her head back and he cupped her face in his hands. “Right now, I just need you to be mine.”
With a laugh of pure joy, he swept her up into his arms. Her shriek of surprise was muffled by his mouth returning to hers. He shifted her weight in his arms as he kicked the door closed. His long strides jostled her, but he managed to keep his mouth on hers in a kiss that burned down to her toes. Good thing he was trained to put out fires.
About the Authors
Elise Logan writes completely hot stories that cross genres and boundaries.
Born in Texas, she currently lives in Virginia with her husband and daughter. She has a massive aversion to the cold and a virulent dislike of non-competition compliant chili.
Sign up for Elise’s newsletter (I promise not to spam you), and find out more about her books at Scorched Sheets or on Facebook, Tumblr or Twitter. For a complete list of her books, you can go straight to her books page.
New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Emily Ryan-Davis has a deep-seated passion for the written word. After years of writing everything from obituaries and press releases to non-profit education grants and advertising copy, she returned to her first love–romance–and hasn’t looked back.
By day, Emily rides herd on her husband, toddler, cat and fish. After dark, she writes steamy, romantic fiction about flawed individuals who fall in love–and into bed–despite their imperfections.
For the latest news, sign up for Emily’s newsletter. You can follow Emily on Facebook and check out her website. For a complete list of Emily’s books, check out her books page.
If you’re interested in other books by Elise and Emily, please keep reading!