by London Casey
Guys like him were cowards. I’d never had to deal with any in my previous relationships, but I’d seen enough of it to know what it was about—control, plain and simple. It was inexcusable and ridiculous when I thought about it. One thing I knew for sure was that there was no such thing as complete control, not really. The sooner one could accept that control was just an illusion, the easier it was to accept that things could go terribly wrong, and when they did, all you could do was react to the shit you’d been dealt. That was the one thing that I could always count on.
Woman-beating bastard.
“Hey man, I’m going to go out for a smoke and grab a beer. Want one?” his friend asked.
“Yeah, sure.”
His lanky friend lumbered away through the throng, heading toward the entrance. He smelled like he’d just had sex. I was thankful that the club didn’t allow smoking. I despised the saturated smell from working at the Coffee Grind, and I didn’t think I could handle it with my new, keener senses. All our senses, I discovered, were heightened in a way I hadn’t been prepared to deal with. The stink of smoke and sex jogged my memory. Now I remembered where I’d seen the girl.
“I’ve seen Jess before—upstairs.” At the BDSM sex club.
Brandon nodded. “Yeah, she’s a dancer at another club. A friend of hers told her she should audition to dance upstairs at HFC because she could pull in mad tips. When I found out, I didn’t believe in vamps. I had to see for myself—turns out her friend was right. So I told Jess she has to get a job here. But they’re not looking for dancers right now.”
That explained everything.
Clubbers downstairs had no idea that vampires existed, but when he put the moves on me and asked me to dance he’d made it clear that he knew exactly what I was. Our clientele upstairs, at a sex club that had spanned the centuries under various names and locations, knew about our existence, but down here they didn’t have a clue. And high-ranking government officials kept it under wraps. After all, the Hellfire Clubs existed to provide feeding grounds for vampires. I still couldn’t get over the fact that our government knew everything and covered it up. Although, wasn’t that just how governments operated? Arie had told me that vampires existed within every facet of society, but that didn’t even cover half of it. And then I thought of Luna.
“The tips are the best in the city,” I mused.
“Nah, that’s not why I wanted her to get a job. Jess is my way in—or was my way in, until I met you. I want to be one of you.” He leaned in as he spoke.
The smell of alcohol and cigarettes almost made me gag. It took every ounce of my willpower not to grab him by the back of his head and smash his face into the table, make his nose bleed like he had done to Jess.
“I want to be a vampire,” he said.
I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“Fuck, yeah.”
No one could hear him above the raucous music, and even if they did, they’d never believe him. They’d just think it was all part of the game. Some of the Goths were into fake role-playing. Victoria liked to joke about it.
I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I can’t help you.”
“Oh, you mean like right now. Nah, baby. There’s plenty of time to get to know each other. Let’s go back to my place. You, me, and Jess. I’m sure she won’t mind. You could feed on her and you and me could have a little fun.”
My guilt over leading him on and using him for a feed was long gone. I could have just grabbed a pint of Puncture or a donor upstairs, but Arie told me that the adrenaline spike would help my strength. I’d only been a vampire for seven days, so I was still weak and needed all the strength I could get. This fucktard would make the perfect meal, and I wouldn’t feel the least bit bad about it.
I felt nothing for him but loathing. Now I was repulsed and angry that he could offer up someone who was obviously his girlfriend or someone who had feelings for him, for me to feed on. And he’s an abusive dick. I couldn’t imagine why she’d want to be with a guy like that. His abrasive attitude gave me the perfect solution to remedy her bad taste in men. I forced myself to edge a little closer to him.
“Yeah? Why don’t we have a little fun right now?” I asked, faking a seductive voice.
His eyes lit up. I’m sure he thought that I wanted to fuck him. He had no clue that my idea of fun included feeding on him and dazzling him to show his girlfriend some manners. This was definitely going to be fun, but not for him.
“Yeah, sure.”
I threw him a faux sexy smile. “Come with me.”
“Whatever you say, baby.” He swiped an almost empty beer bottle from the table as he rose to follow me through the crowd.
I grabbed Brandon’s arm and led him through the press of bodies on the dance floor. Arie arched an eyebrow as I passed him on the way to a supply room next to the bar. I hoped he didn’t thick for one second that I actually wanted this dirtbag. Lucky for me, my fangs had come in two days ago. Not so lucky for Brandon. I opened the door and yanked Brandon inside, pulling the door closed behind us.
When I closed the door he sat his beer on one of the metal shelves opposite to us. He pressed me against the cement wall, his hot breath leaving an unpleasant trail of salvia down my neck as he kissed me. He made my skin crawl, but I resisted pulling away.
“Are you sure Jess won’t mind?”
He pulled away from my neck. “Nah, she’s good. If not, she’ll deal.”
“You’re sure your girlfriend has no qualms about you sucking face with me? Because she certainly seemed jealous of me at the table.”
Brandon groaned. “Whatever. She’ll get over it.”
He didn’t correct me when I referred to Jess as his girlfriend, so I’d guessed right. And my dislike for him grew to insurmountable proportions. His attention returned to my neck and he never notice that I had my sights set on his.
“And what if I mind?”
His head jerked up and he took a step away from me. His eyes were wide. I met them with an icy glare.
“Hey, look, I didn’t mean to offend you.” He reached for the doorknob to the supply room, taking another step back.
“Oh, you didn’t offend me. Maybe you offended Jess, but me…you just sicken me.”
I grabbed a handful of hair, pulled him to me, and penetrated his neck. When I broke his skin with my fangs, his blood tasted as if it were marinated in cheap beer spiked with adrenaline. Funny. Never gave skin much thought when I was human, but it amazed me now how delicate it was, how it tore like paper. He clawed at the shelf, knocking his bottle to the floor, where it smashed. The adrenaline surged through me, its vital energy renewing me. I felt triumphant when I saw the fear in his eyes. When I released his neck, his gaze darted around the storage room, looking for an escape route.
“Look at me,” I said, grabbing his chin. “This never happened. You’re going to go out there and fucking apologize to Jess. You will never hit her or anyone ever again. You’re going to show her some respect, and from now on you’re going to agree with whatever she says. Do I make myself abundantly clear?”
I wondered if my eyes turned silver like Arie’s, as I dazzled him to forget our encounter and play nice with his girlfriend. Violent? This wasn’t like me at all. I couldn’t believe how aggressive I was with Brandon. I wasn’t sure if it was my vision of him abusing his girlfriend, or not being able to deal with my emotions after being turned that made me want to completely drain him. What was even more shocking was that I liked the power that thrummed through me when I fed on him. But I wouldn’t stop to analyze it any more, because if I did, I thought that guilt might follow and that was a useless damned emotion whether you were a human or a vampire. Even though I knew that, I couldn’t help but feel that way at least a little.
“Yes. Of course.” He staggered out of the supply room with glassy eyes and I followed on his heels, slamming the door behind me.
Arie took a sip of his drink as Brandon stumbled past him. I slid onto the next barstool, amped and key
ed up after absorbing the guy’s adrenaline.
“Don’t you think that was a bit much?” Arie asked.
“What?”
“Dazzling him to agree with whatever she says. You’re really going to have to work on moderation when it comes to using your skills.”
I should have known that Arie would be able to hear me even with the pumping music in the club, a few yards, and a closed metal door separating us.
“He had it coming. I can’t stand guys like him.”
Arie laughed. “Without a doubt. But what if she tells him to take a flying leap? It’s not an unlikely possibility, given his previous actions and his aptitude for being an asshole. Dazzling him not to hit her won’t change his oh-so-charming personality.”
That was the first time I had dazzled anyone, and I didn’t realize until now just how easy it was to screw up.
Shit.
I took a sip of the drink that I’d left on the bar before I’d started dancing. “I think it’s a lot more likely that she’ll tell him to eat shit or go fuck himself, and that’s something I’d love to see.”
Arie leveled me with a stern look. “Be serious.”
“He deserves it. You know, he broke his girlfriend’s nose. I saw it.”
Arie nodded. He knew that I’d had a vision.
“I didn’t say that he didn’t deserve it. But how would you feel if something bad, something permanent, happened to him on account of you dazzling him, something you couldn’t take back? The guy’s a dick, that’s for sure, but let’s get one thing straight: you can’t be his judge. It’s not your place.”
I looked away. Now I felt bad about how I’d handled the situation. I couldn’t stand the way Arie was looking at me. Disappointed. All my fight dissipated before that one look, filled with brutal honesty and years of experience way beyond mine. It was hard to admit that I’d completely screwed up but it was true.
“You’re right,” I said, my voice dropping. “How do I fix it?”
“Sit tight. I’ll be right back.”
Arie made his way across the dance floor to where Brandon and Jess moved in abandon to the pumping rhythm. There were too many sounds, too many voices that I couldn’t separate, to focus on what he was saying. Arie told me that would come with time. I knew from the dazed look that he’d dazzled them both and corrected my mistake.
Being a vampire at least gave me a fighting chance, but now I’d discovered that I had an awful lot to learn. And I wanted to prove to Arie that I could do it. My aura was like beacon to supernatural creatures. Since the Sight matured with age and had a distinct aura, it made me the perfect target. Arie had found me from the gold shimmer of my aura, which was probably how Katarina had found me too. Although she had been searching for Arie and he could have inadvertently led her to me.
Arie made his way back through the crowd. I could tell from the look on his face that he was worried about me handling my new life as a vampire. And he shouldered the guilt to go with pulling me into his world. He held out his hand. I took it and slid off the barstool.
“Come on. Let’s go upstairs—get a real drink and see if Victoria got someone to cover for her.”
“Yeah, I can’t wait to have a drink with her. It seems like forever, even though it’s only been a week since she stopped by the loft.”
Victoria had been screening the people filtering through the doors when we’d arrived. I genuinely liked her after spending so much time working on planning the gala together. She’d said that she would come find us upstairs on her break. Arie had wanted me to find someone suitable to feed on downstairs to boost my strength first.
Mission accomplished.
As I followed him toward the elevators we passed Jess and the scum she called a boyfriend swaying to a slow song. The guilt had worn off and right now I didn’t feel bad about taking a bite out of him. That scared me a little. I didn’t even feel a tiny bit unsure about feeding on and manipulating a low life that beat on women.
I was surprised that I’d done it so easily after all the times I’d chastised Arie for dazzling people. I’d always had a pretty good grasp on right and wrong, and even in-between. Since I’d become a vampire, I could see there would be a lot more of those in-between gray areas.
But next time I’d do it right. As for the right way, the correct way, I wasn’t sure there was one, and I felt a little like I was losing my way. More than anything I wondered what Arie would think of me if I told him about all my conflicting emotions and thoughts, which were spinning out of control. I didn’t want to feel like this. I hated that it made me vulnerable, but I just couldn’t help it. The last thing I wanted was him to worry or compare me to his past. As I said…guilt was a useless damned emotion. I was sick of watching it consume us.
Chapter Three
When the elevator doors opened to the second level I gave a cursory glance to the hedonistic world filled with open sexuality sprawling around us. The first time I’d come here with Arie I was shocked. Undeniably turned on, but still shocked.
After all, it wasn’t every day that you walked into a room to see someone suspended by cellophane, and vampires feeding out in the open. Then again, they could do that since the upper levels of HFC could only be accessed with key cards. Only members of the club or Tessa’s employees were given key cards. Although that slowed Katarina down on the night of the gala, I’d been stupid enough to fall into her trap.
So much has happened since then.
I wouldn’t make the mistake of being lured now, and I knew better than to have a false sense of security just because I was a vampire. Plenty of them were a lot older and stronger than me. As I looked over the scene laid out in front of me the smallest of impressions and details that I would have never noticed as a human made my head hurt. The mix of patrons—covered in masks, latex, and leather, carrying their whips and chains, barely made me bat an eye. Yet this place had released a desire in me. I’d been more than just curious. I’d read enough of the BDSM romances that I stashed in my nightstand to know what it was about.
Perhaps that’s why I didn’t turn away when I was thrown into his world without much warning. Maybe the adrenaline from my life being in danger gave me the courage I needed to meet Arie’s world with questions rather than fear. Maybe having the Sight and experiencing the horrific range of things that humans were capable of made Arie’s admission to me about being a vampire not seem so terribly shocking. Humans were fucked up. Undoubtedly. All you had to do was watch the History Channel or read the paper to know that humanity was severely lacking. Honestly, I didn’t know which was scarier—vampires or the five o’clock news.
“Remember the first time you brought me here?” I asked.
A corner of Arie’s mouth twitched. “I had to remind you to close your mouth and you damn near fell off your barstool.”
I laughed. “You have to admit, it was a lot to take in.”
I nodded in the direction of a human carrying a medical bag filled with blood. He strolled without so much as a sideways glance past a woman wearing a collar giving a blowjob to a man who sat sipping a drink. This place wasn’t about the kink, although that drew our clients—its design as a feeding ground for vampires was its real purpose.
“I suppose you have a point,” Arie said with a grin. “Come on. Let’s grab a table.”
It took me a minute to find my brain as I followed him across the club. Walking behind him gave me a prime view of his perfect ass. We grabbed a highboy table over by the balcony that overlooked the Goth clubbers dancing below. My gaze lingered on Jess. She seemed content and unaware that there were better possibilities and more suitable partners she could be with, but I imagined she’d never been with anyone substantial. Guys like that were probably all she ever knew. Then again, I had Arie, and it was hard to measure up to someone like him.
I sighed with pure female appreciation at having such a prime male specimen sitting across from me. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched the woman giving a blowjob. My puls
e quickened. It surprised me that I still had one. I looked back at Arie, who was watching Defiance play to the crowd down below, his dark hair curling over the collar of his leather jacket. The ear-piercing shrieks and bone-rattling bass line weren’t nearly as interesting as his cool gray eyes, which reminded me of the shifting water of Lake Michigan. He watched the band below while I watched him. I imagined bobbing up and down on his lap like the woman giving head across the club.
Arie looked up. “What?”
“I was just questioning my decision to meet up with everyone to get us out of the loft and do something other than fucking.”
Arie shrugged. “Hey, this was your idea.”
“This place is killing me. You’re killing me.”
“Me? I didn’t do anything.”
“You don’t have to—you’re breathing. That’s enough. And the sideshow over there doesn’t help matters.” I gestured toward the blonde woman bobbing up and down. “I feel like a bit of a pervert watching them, but I can’t help it when it’s right in front of me.”
Arie laughed. “Mmm, my little voyeuristic pervert—there’s hope for you yet.”
“Hope for what? That I’ll tear your clothes off before we even order drinks?” I asked with a grin.
“Well I don’t think anyone would mind if we lost a few clothes. We can do whatever we want.” His voice turned serious.
Shit.
Suddenly I felt flushed, overheated. I knew from his suggestive tone and the look in his eyes that he meant it. But I wasn’t sure how I felt about doing whatever he had in mind. Did I want him to take me right here, right now, in public? It was too humiliating to think about. But if it was so embarrassing then why did my nipples tighten just thinking about it? I swallowed. I didn’t know how to answer him.
And I couldn’t help but want him even after I’d just had him back at the loft. Our relationship was so new, and our crazy chemistry couldn’t possibly last, but I didn’t think I would ever get tired of Arie. It wasn’t just our indisputable attraction; we shared an emotional connection that went beyond sex. Don’t get me wrong, the sex was great, but Arie was complicated, tender, and the fact that he made my toes curl was just a titillating bonus. Even without a mirror, I knew that my cheeks were beet red.