by London Casey
What have I done?
Zoey was nervous, and she’d be the first to admit it. When Pete had called the next day and asked if he could meet her after work, it had taken all of her control not to tell him he was an idiot for even thinking he wasn’t good enough for her. Because the men hadn’t settled their issues, she asked Thad if he didn’t mind remaining at work until she called him and gave him the all clear. She wanted to speak with Pete alone, and Thad was fine with that.
Her biggest challenge would be to keep from hugging Pete the moment she saw him. A normal woman would have been pissed he’d broken the trust the three of them had built, but she understood why he’d acted the way he had. Did that mean she should say all was well and move on? Hell, no. She didn’t need a PhD in psychology to know that for Pete to heal, he had to grovel for her forgiveness. It was the only way to earn respect. Most of the psychological theories claimed that only by believing all options had expired could Pete get better.
At 5:30 p.m. on the dot, her doorbell rang. Zoey ran her hands down her skirt and hoped she was strong enough to pull this off. She’d held hundreds of sessions counseling people against expecting others to be the ones to make them whole. Now that she was faced with the most difficult and important talk of her life, she was a mess.
I have to do this. For Pete. For me. For Thad.
Inhaling, she drew open the door, but she wasn’t prepared for Pete to look so lost. Her heart nearly cracked. His clothes appeared clean and, given his damp hair, he’d showered, but the black eye and slightly swollen jaw, coupled with his bloodshot eyes tore at her soul. “Hey. Come in.”
Pete didn’t look her in the eye, and that might have hurt worse than his lie. For some crazy reason, she believed he’d come here to apologize. Fear ran up her body like tiny paper cuts. God, she hoped she wasn’t wrong about his motives.
“Thanks for seeing me.” He looked toward the kitchen then down the hall. “Where’s Thad?”
“Still at work. He phoned a bit ago and said he’d been called out on another gang-related robbery.” That was the truth. Zoey was glad she didn’t have to lie. “Can I get you some coffee?”
“Sure.” From behind his back, he produced a bouquet of pink roses and a small box of chocolate. Her heart melted. “It’s kind of corny, I know, but I wanted to show you how sorry I am.”
There it was. The apology. Step one complete. She took the proffered gifts. “Thank you. Pink’s my favorite color.”
A smile flashed across his lips. “I know.”
“I guess I had come rather unglued over the beige candles. Come sit in the kitchen while I put these in water.” Kisses and touches would let her know the depths of his regret, but she appreciated the gesture of the gifts. She lifted them to her nose and inhaled their flowery scent. Finding roses this time of year must not have been easy.
“Want me to start the coffee?” Pete asked, sounding like he wanted to help—or rather needed to help.
“Sure.” Both Thad’s coffeemaker and hers sat side by side. She wondered if Pete had noticed it was missing.
In silence they worked together—she with the flowers, he with the drinks. When she looked over at his slumped shoulders, part of her wanted to hug and kiss him until every inch of hurt disappeared from the lines in his face. But Pete needed to put his recent actions and decision into words. Only by saying them out loud would he truly be able to extinguish the demons that had been plaguing him for so long.
She set out the cream and sugar while he retrieved the mugs from the cupboard. From the way he was working his mouth, he was finding it hard to know where to begin. Sympathy for him finally won.
“Tell me about the fight.”
He briefly looked up at her. “Heard about that, did you?”
“Rock Hard isn’t a tiny town, but people care about one another. Word gets out.”
The coffee finished brewing, and he brought over the pot and poured the rich drink. They sat across from each other, reminiscent of the first time they’d met. Did he remember their conversation as vividly as she did?
He brought his cup to his lips and blew the steam across the liquid. His knuckles were almost white. “It was easier when you were pouring your soul out to me.”
She appreciated his honesty. “I bet it was, but if you have any interest in us being together, I need to understand what went on in your head.”
“It’s complicated.” He drank his coffee, either for the fortification or to keep from having to speak.
“It always is. Maybe you should start by telling me about the night you went over to your parents’ house.”
“I’m sure Thad told you that was an excuse to get away.”
She leaned forward. “I don’t get it. When you were showing me the stars, I thought we’d connected.” I thought you might even love me.
He cleared his throat. “We did. Zoey. Ah. Okay, here it is. When we were on top of that mountain, sharing something as powerful as the universe, I realized how much I loved you.”
Her heart pounded in her chest so hard, it was close to being painful. “And the problem would be?” Her words jammed in her throat as adrenaline rushed through her veins so fast she almost became lightheaded.
“I cared too much to let you be with me.”
Without conscious thought, she slammed her palm on the table. “I’m furious that you didn’t consider talking to me about it. Did you think I’d judge you?” She didn’t wait for him to answer. “That pisses me off. You are such an amazing man, and I wish you’d have given me the chance to tell you.”
He leaned his head back and blew out a breath. “I was wrong. I fucked up.”
“Yes, you did, and I’d like to hear your take on it.”
“After I left you and Thad, I was feeling sorry for myself. I’m not proud of that. I went to Banner’s, where I ran into Alex.”
“Which turned sour. What did he do? Hold your feet to the fire?” It was what Pete wanted her to do with his dad.
“Yeah. Alex told me I was just like my father, that I pushed people away whenever I feared they’d get too close.” His jaw hardened. “I never realized I did that.”
He seemed to get it. “We often don’t want to look in the mirror. It’s hard.”
“You got that right. After Alex basically told me to go fuck myself—sorry for the language—and grow up, I lost it.” He set his cup down. “I know now that he was right, but I wasn’t willing to admit it at the time. I just reacted.” He stabbed a hand through his hair.
“When you punched him, were you actually hitting what you hated most about yourself?”
His head jerked up. “Maybe. Alex’s words cut me deep.”
“Alex was wrong about one thing.”
Pete’s chin dipped. “What was that?”
“Your father has never connected deeply with anyone, but you have. I’ve seen the inside of Pete Banks, and I like the man you are. Very much.”
That brought out the smile she loved. “Zoey Donovan, you are a wonderful woman.” His brows rose. “It would have been nice if you’d shared that wisdom before I self-destructed.”
“I believe I did mention something to that effect, but sometimes we don’t listen when we know it will hurt.” She leaned forward on her elbows. “Tell me what happens now.”
“Now? Today starts the first day of my new life.” He pushed back his chair and walked around to her side of the island. His eyes seemed much clearer, more focused, and certainly more determined. “I want you, sugar, and I want to show you that I belong in your life.”
As much as she wanted to make him beg for her forgiveness, his words of repentance pierced her heart so deep, she had to let him in. “I’m willing to give you a chance, but you need to make it good. Real good. So good, in fact, that I can’t live without you.”
“That’s music to my ears.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Pete leaned in so close that their breaths mixed, pounding excitement through her veins at what was to
come. He pulled Zoey to a stand and shoved back her chair. The kiss that followed made her knees weaken. Twisting her back to the counter, he planted his hands on either side of her.
“I can’t tell you how I drowned in regret when I realize I might have lost you, that my self-pity might have cost me the one thing I wanted in life—you. You make me want to be my best.”
His words set her skin on fire. Gone was the desire to make him suffer a wee bit more. “I need you. Now.”
Zoey’s fingers found the waistband of his jeans and popped open the button. The zipper followed. To her delight, he’d gone commando.
Pete broke the intense kiss. “I want to love you like you’ve never been loved before, but I’m so on edge, I can’t seem to control myself.”
He stepped back and tore off his boots. He was sockless, as if he’d planned the seduction. That warmed her heart. Zoey wanted to help him undress, but she enjoyed his frantic pace too much to interfere. When he stood before her in all his glory, her mouth turned dry.
“It’s been a long time for us,” she said as she lifted her hands to the hem of her shirt.
“Please. Let me. I want to remember every revealing inch.”
Zoey let go. “Have at me.”
Her heart soared as he stepped near and slid his warm hands under her shirt. His rough fingers did a delightful dance on her waist.
“I love watching how your eyes change colors the closer I get to touching your breasts.” Pete was back to his old teasing self, only this time he didn’t have a catch in his voice. He was telling the truth.
“Don’t keep me waiting.”
“No worries.” His lips found hers, and their tongues plunged into each other’s mouths.
She wasn’t able to kiss him fast enough. Her fingers latched onto his shoulders and her nails dug into his skin. All she could think of was having more of him. He wiggled his fingers under her bra and nabbed her nipples. The sharp pinch blasted a spike of lust straight to her clit.
Zoey pulled back. “I need to get naked. I want to feel your skin on me.”
“Crap. I promised I’d help, but then you distracted me.” Pete dropped to his haunches, lifted her foot and tore off her shoe in a flash. He repeated the process on the other side. Because her skirt was long and stretchy, one tug had the material pooling at her feet. He pressed his lips together as if he couldn’t decide where he wanted to begin. “Jesus, Zoey. You get better every time I look at you. Turn around.” He stood.
With one quick lift, he took off her top then pinched open her bra. From behind, he cupped her breasts, and the pressure and heat almost undid her. She loved it when his thumb brushed across her nipples, but she wanted his lips on the tips more.
“Harder.”
“You like a bit of pain?” With her hair back in a ponytail, her neck was exposed, giving him access to her ear. Shivers of delight raced through her with each touch and nibble.
She still wore her panties. Damn. To encourage him, she pushed back her hips and reached behind her. When she grabbed his cock and rubbed her thumb across a wet slit, he groaned.
“You’ll pay for that, girl.” Off came her bra. He spun her around. Her panties were then unceremoniously removed from her body. He slid a finger into her wet opening as he devoured her lips. Dear God in heaven. Her moans matched his groans. She wrapped her arms around Pete’s neck to draw him near, and pressed her breasts against his solid chest. The man melted every part of her body. As he swirled his finger inside her, his thumb pressed against her sensitive nub, making it harder and harder to breathe.
“I want you, Pete Banks. Now.” So much for making him grovel.
He dragged his hands to her waist and lifted her onto the counter. “Lean back. No, wait.” He raced over to the drawer next to the sink, grabbed a few dishtowels, and placed the soft cloth under each elbow. “There.”
As soon as she was in position, he lifted her heels and placed them on the counter. She didn’t see how this would accomplish her goal of having his cock, but from the purposeful way he was moving, he had a plan. When he leaned over and swiped his tongue across her slit, she let out a loud wail. This was a dream. When she thought Pete didn’t want to be with her, it had been one of the worst moments of her life. Now he was back, and she wanted to embrace every second with him.
She scooted closer to the edge. He shifted his focus to her clit and twisted one nipple between his fingers. Her climax threatened to take her down. Stay strong. She shut her eyes and let his touch transport her higher and higher.
“I can’t wait.” Pete’s voice came out strangled.
Next came the scraping of material across the floor. She opened her eyes. Pete had extracted a condom, torn it open, and slipped it on in seconds. “You are magnificent,” she whispered.
“I’m glad you like it.” He grinned, gently slid her off the counter, and then turned her around. “Keep a good grip on the edge, sugar.” After he pulled her hips back, he spread her legs wide.
Her body sizzled with excitement. “Hurry.”
“Shh.”
Why should she keep quiet? Would talking distract him? His hands tightened on her waist as the tip of his cock pressed against her pussy. He edged in, acting as if she’d break in two if he went any faster. Taking the lead, she stepped back and half impaled herself on his cock. Bad idea. His dick was too thick and stretched her wide. What came out of her mouth sounded unintelligible.
“Aw, shit, Zoey. You’ve done it now.”
As if she’d opened the floodgates of love, Pete drove into her hard, and she melted. Her fingers gripped the counter tight and she met him thrust for thrust. Her walls slickened and heated with each pass, but Zoey couldn’t get enough of him. He twisted her nipples. Each rub and touch took her higher until she couldn’t stop her climax any more.
“Ah, ah, ah.” She held her breath and let the intense orgasm swoop in.
Pete wrapped his arms around her waist and planted his face on her shoulder as he yelled her name. His release was hard and powerful. When stars burst behind her lids, she lowered her head.
Breathless, she didn’t move until Pete finally pulled out. He grabbed one of the towels on the counter and wiped her clean before gathering her into his arms. He then placed kisses from her lips, to her chin, to her neck. “I’m sorry I was an ass.”
Using the rest of her energy, she drew in a breath to add oxygen to her brain. “Let’s get this straight. I don’t ever want to hear another word about how you are not a wonderful man. We all have issues, but get over them. From now on, I decide if you deserve me, okay?” That hadn’t come out the way she’d intended, but she needed to make it clear that she adored him.
“Yes, ma’am. Not another word.” He tapped her nose. “Do you think Thad will be so easy?”
She punched him in the chest. “I was not easy.”
“Keep telling yourself that, girl. But seriously, how pissed was Thad?”
“Pissed is a mild word. He did move out, in case you didn’t notice.”
He nodded. “What do you suggest?”
“Be truthful then move on.” Guys weren’t into gushy talk anyway.
“Good idea. Since Thad is working, what do you say we dress and head to The River Wok for dinner?”
She groaned. “You sure you want to do Asian? We can have a pizza if you’d like.”
“I’m positive.” He slipped into his jeans and she watched as the material covered his perfect body. He stepped over to the counter next to the fridge and picked up her new pink purchase. “You got a stun gun!”
He didn’t have to act surprised. “You suggested I get one.”
“I did, didn’t I?”
“I plan to keep it on my desk at work. That should intimidate anyone from messing with me.”
“I can tell you’re going to be a heap of trouble, Dr. Donovan, but I’m just the one to keep you in line.”
Pete Banks had so much to learn.
After dinner, Pete said he should get back.
“I need some time to think about what I’m going to say to Thad.” He dreaded the conversation. Eating crow never tasted good.
Zoey nodded. “If Thad asks what we talked about, I’ll tell him I made you crawl at my feet and bark like a dog before I let you make love to me.”
He cupped her soft cheek. “You aren’t going to make this easy for me, are you?”
“Hell no.”
Zoey was full of strength and wonder. He pulled her into his arms. “You sincerely think if I’m honest that Thad will forgive me?”
“I was easy. I don’t think Thad will be. You betrayed his trust.”
“I know. Then grovel it will be.” He didn’t want to leave her, but he and Thad needed to clear the air. “I’ll call you tomorrow. I’m sure Thad will give you all the details tonight.” He leaned over and kissed her. “Wish me luck.”
“Luck.”
Using all of his willpower, he slipped out. On the drive home, his mind spun as he considered different ways to approach the uncomfortable topic. When he parked and entered the house, every square foot screamed of loneliness. He almost hated this place with Thad gone. What had he been thinking walking out like that?
He inhaled to slow his racing heart and pulled out his phone to call Thad. No surprise, he didn’t answer. Leaving a message wasn’t his preferred choice of how to handle this, but he needed Thad to stop by after work. It didn’t matter the time.
“After the beep, please leave your message.”
Pete blew out a breath, praying he didn’t fuck this up, too. “It’s me. Look, man, I owe you an apology bigger than the whole town. I’ve messed up and I know it. Zoey and I have patched things, so if you can see past my stupidity, will you swing by the house before heading over to Zoey’s?” He disconnected before he said something to make things worse.
Now came the wait. He walked over to the wine rack and pulled out a bottle. “You’re fucking stupid.” He pushed it back in and drew water from the fridge. Without a coffee maker, he couldn’t even have the caffeine kick.