by E. L. Todd
Don’t ignore me.
She picked up the phone. We’re done. Don’t contact me ever again.
Sydney called so Nancy decided to pick up.
“Hey, are you okay?” Sydney asked.
“Yeah,” she said weakly.
Sydney sighed. “Coen and Henry had a nice talk with Derek today.”
“What a waste of time,” she said bitterly.
“You wanna do something?”
“I want to go to a party and pick up a guy.”
“What?” Sydney asked. “You’re just upset right now. Don’t go crazy and do something you’ll regret.”
“I already did something crazy. I shouldn’t have dated Derek.”
“For what it’s worth, he did seem contrite.”
“That doesn’t mean anything to me.”
“You wanna get some coffee?”
“No. I’ll talk to you later.” She hung up without saying goodbye. Not knowing what else to do, she walked outside and started to paint, taking all her frustration and anger out on the canvas. Since she was lazy, she got paint on her clothes. When she finished, she was still pissed, so she tossed the painting in her closet, forgetting about it.
Since she had to go to work, she showered and got ready. She wanted to call in sick but she preferred the distraction. There was nothing to occupy her mind in this empty mansion. Her thoughts echoed down the hallways and played loud in her ears. She drove to work and clocked in.
“Ren told me what happened,” Andre said sadly.
“I really don’t want to talk about it.”
“That’s okay.” He tagged along and helped her clean the tanks and complete her assignments. “I spent the night with him last night.”
“Who?”
“The guy I’m seeing.”
“Did he come out?”
“No. When his roommates found out I was there, he kicked me out and acted like I was an annoying stalker.”
She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Andre.”
“It’s okay,” he said with a shrug. “You and I have horrible taste in guys.”
She shook her head. “What’s wrong with us?”
“I don’t know. But it sucks.”
“Yeah.” She finished her work then clocked out, dreading it. When she was done, she had to go home to that empty house. She would break down and start crying, hating herself for being so stupid.
Andre patted her on the shoulder. “It’ll be okay, Nancy.”
“Thanks, Andre. I wish you weren’t gay so I could date you.”
He laughed. “I’ve heard that at least a hundred times.”
They left the facility and walked outside. When Nancy saw Derek’s truck parked in front of her car, completely blocking it in, she felt the anger explode inside her.
“Uh, I’ll talk to you later,” Andre said as he turned to the right.
Nancy marched to Derek.
He had his hands in his pockets, a sad expression in his eyes, and he watched her approach him, a look of murder on her face.
When she reached him, she slapped him hard across the face then pushed him into the truck, rocking it.
Derek kept his hands in his pockets and let her shove him.
Nancy glared at him. “Move your fucking truck.”
He rose to a stand and looked at her. “Please hear me out.”
“If you don’t move your truck, I’m going to slap you again.”
There was no anger or emotion in his eyes. He looked dead inside. “I’m not going anywhere until we talk about this.”
She slapped him again.
He took the hit without reacting.
“How many times do I have to hit you?”
“Until you hear me out.”
She raised her arm to strike him again but he grabbed it and steadied it, guiding her against the truck. He pinned her against the door and held her there.
“Let me go!”
He tried to kiss her but she moved her head, not letting his lips touch hers. She knew what would happen if their mouths touched. “This is what happened. I waited for you to come to me. You never did. I waited until it was my turn. By then, I didn’t think you were coming. It pissed me off. You said you would be there but you weren’t. I really needed you, Nancy. I was so nervous. I didn’t need you just as a girlfriend, but as a friend. In the end, I let my anger get to me. When I saw your phone call, it just made me angrier. I admit my actions weren’t right, but I was in the spotlight and couldn’t be a jerk. I was celebrating my victory, and I didn’t think you wanted to be with me anymore because you didn’t show up. I’m sorry for hurting you. I really am.”
“That’s a bullshit excuse.”
“It’s the truth.”
“Well, it doesn’t mean anything to me.”
“Nancy, look at me. I’m sorry. Coen and Henry told me your side of the story. I completely understand why you’re upset. I really am sorry.”
“Really?”
“Of course.”
“Then get off me.”
“I’m not letting you go.”
“You said you wouldn’t let me go until we talked about it. We’ve talked. Now let me go.”
He didn’t release his hold on her. “I can’t lose you, Nancy.”
“Don’t act like you give a shit about me.”
“I do.”
“No you don’t!”
He pressed his lips against hers. She tried to turn her head but he wouldn’t let her. The familiar taste of his lips broke down her walls. Against her will, she responded to his touch, feeling him breathe into her mouth. His grip on her arms loosened, cupping her face and kissing her passionately. She fell into him—again.
“No,” she said as he pushed him off.
He grabbed her and pinned her down again.
Against her control, she started to cry, tears spilling from her eyes. “I can’t keep doing this,” she said with a sob. “I can’t, Derek. You keep hurting me and I’m sick of it.”
His eyes softened when he looked at her. “I’m so sorry. I hate hurting you.”
“Fucking liar.”
He grabbed her and held her to his chest, holding her tightly. “I’m so sorry, Nancy. I hate this.”
She sobbed into him, letting him hold her. “I just want to be with someone who cares about me, who I can trust, who makes me happy. Not someone who breaks my heart all the time. I need that. I can’t be strong anymore.”
Derek ran his hand down her back, touching her gently. “Nancy, listen to me. I’ll never hurt you again. I promise you.”
“I can’t trust you.”
“I know. I’ll prove it to you.”
“No.”
“Nancy—”
“I said no.”
He stepped away, looking at her with eyes coated with tears. He lowered himself to his knees and looked up at her, sadness and despair on his face. “Nancy, please. Just one more chance. That’s all I need.”
She shook her head.
“I’ll never stop begging you. I’ll bug you every day until you give me another chance.”
“I don’t owe you anything, Derek.”
He sighed. “Please.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head.
He came back to his feet and pressed his face close to hers. “I’m ready for this relationship, Nancy. No more partying, no more flirting, no more looking at other girls—nothing. I’m yours, totally and completely.”
She closed her eyes and leaned her face against his.
“Yesterday, I won the championship and was offered contracts by scouts. Everyone was paying attention to me, thinking I was the coolest guy ever. Girls were throwing themselves at me, every guy’s dream. But you know what I was feeling? I was sad. I thought you didn’t come. I thought you abandoned me. That hurt, Nancy. I never would have acted that way if I had gotten a good luck kiss from you.”
“Don’t blame this on me.”
“I’m not,” he said quickly.
“I’m just explaining.”
“So every time you’re mad at me, you’re going to cheat on me?”
“I didn’t cheat on you, Nancy. I didn’t do anything with those girls.”
“You signed a girl’s tit.”
“I still didn’t do anything. And no, I won’t act that way again. You have my word.”
She shook her head. “I—I don’t know.”
He sighed. “I really don’t want to lose you. It kills me that I’ve hurt you. I want a chance to make it up to you. I think we can be great together if we just work through it.”
“Why should I do that?”
“Because I know how much you care about me. Please give me another chance.”
“Derek, I’m scared.”
“I know. I understand that. But I won’t let you down.”
“You have to promise me.”
“I promise.”
She stared at him, seeing the blue eyes she loved so much. She wanted to reject him and just walk away, but she couldn’t.
“I cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye,” he said with a smile. He grabbed her pinky with his. “I pinky promise. I give you my word. I give you everything, Nancy.”
She sighed. “I really hope I don’t regret this.”
He kissed her forehead. “You won’t. You won’t.”
8
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Sydney asked.
Nancy shrugged. “Yeah.”
They were at a party near the base of the mountains. One of Laura’s friends invited her, so she invited Nancy, and Nancy invited Sydney and their friends.
Sydney looked at her. “Then why didn’t you ask Derek to come?”
“I just wanted a break from him tonight.”
“He did seem sincere when he talked to Coen.”
Nancy took a drink of her glass then walked by the pool with Sydney. “I just couldn’t say no. I looked into those eyes and just fell. I don’t know what it is.”
Coen wrapped his arm around Sydney, pulling her to his side and claiming her.
Sydney rolled her eyes at him.
“What?” he asked.
“I’m wearing a wedding ring. You think people are really going to make a move?”
Coen glared at her. “Can I just be affectionate with my wife?”
Sydney shook her head then looked back at Nancy. “I don’t know what advice I can give you. I wanted to take back Aaron but I couldn’t. A part of me knows if I did, we would have worked out and got our happily ever after. When Aaron apologized, he really seemed like he meant it. Derek doesn’t apologize very often. I think he was being sincere as well.”
Nancy sighed. “I think so too.”
“It sounds like a misunderstanding.”
“So you take his side?” Nancy asked.
“Not at all. I think his behavior was unacceptable, but I also think Derek has grown a lot since you two got together.”
She nodded. “That’s true.”
“But do what you think is best.”
“I don’t know what it is about him,” Nancy said. “I just—can’t say no.”
“Do you love him?”
“I—I don’t know. Sometimes I think I could. I just haven’t let myself get that attached.”
“Guard your heart for a while and see if he makes good on his promises,” Sydney said. “You can rebuild that trust eventually.”
Nancy finished her cup then looked at the bottom. “I’m going to get another.”
“Okay.”
She walked away and pushed past a few people until she made it to the keg. She got a lot of foam in her cup but she didn’t mind because she liked it the most.
A man came up to her and jiggled his keys. “Don’t worry. I found them.”
She looked up. “Huh?”
He smiled at her. “We met on the beach last night. I asked for your help and you politely told me to get the fuck out of your way.”
“Oh,” she said, her cheeks reddening. “I’m sorry about that. I was having a really bad day.”
“I picked up on that.” He took a drink of his beer then looked at her. He wore a green t-shirt that showed the lines of his chest. His jeans were dark and he wore sandals on his feet. “So, are you still having a bad day?”
“No, I’m better.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“Well, it was nice seeing you again.”
“Humor me for a moment, Nancy.”
She turned back to him. She wasn’t sure why. Her body just obeyed his command.
“Are you here with some friends?”
“Yeah,” she said as she looked over her shoulder. Coen and Sydney were making out, his hand gliding up her shirt. “Well, I was. They’re a little busy right now.”
He laughed. “Newlyweds?”
“What gave them away?”
He smiled. “So, Nancy. How do you know Kara?”
“Kara?”
“The girl who’s throwing the party.”
“Oh, I don’t. I’m a friend of a friend.”
He nodded. “Got it. So, are you having a good time?”
“Yeah.”
He looked into her glass. “You like foam?”
“You ask a lot of questions.”
“Sorry, it’s difficult to carry a conversation when the only responses I get are ‘oh’ and ‘yeah’.”
Her cheeks blushed. “I’m sorry I’m not pleasant company. So where were your keys?”
“In my pocket.”
“Well, that sounds like a blonde moment.”
“Not when I knew they were there the whole time.”
“What?”
“I needed an excuse to talk to you. When I saw you storming off the beach, I had to do something.”
“Why would you want to talk to me?”
He smiled at her, a playful expression on his face. “Why does a guy want to talk to any girl?”
“Sorry, I just assumed you would go for one of my girlfriends instead.”
“Why would you assume that?”
“Well, they are both gorgeous.”
“As are you.”
Nancy stared into his face, seeing the confident look in his eyes. “Uh…thanks.”
He took a drink of his beer then shifted his weight. “So, do you have a last name?”
“Erikson.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Why is that interesting?”
“No reason. Are you a student at the university?”
“Yeah. I’m a junior.”
“Are you an art major?”
She felt her heart race at his assumption. “No. Why?”
He nodded. “It was just a guess. You seem like an artistic person.”
“So you’re a surfer?”
“Why do you assume that?”
“We met on the beach.”
“Yes, I am. I love it.”
She nodded. “Trying to go pro?”
He shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind it.”
Nancy realized he was just like all the other guys she met on the beach. Mellow, lazy, easy going. “Do you go to the university?”
“No,” he said. “College was never for me.”
“I hate it too sometimes.”
“I feel like I’ve learned more in life through experience than anything else.”
She didn’t know what to say to that.
“So, if your major isn’t art, what is it?”
“Microbiology.”
“Interesting. Do you enjoy it?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” he asked with a smile.
“Well, it’s interesting, but…I don’t know. I guess I’m just not passionate about it.”
“What are you passionate about?”
She wasn’t sure why he was asking. “I really love to paint. There’s nothing else I would rather do. Sometimes I don’t think about what I’m drawing, just work through my problems. By the time
I’m finished, I have a picture right in front of me. The world becomes quiet, the voices in my head disappear. Life doesn’t seem so complicated. It’s peaceful, easy.” She looked at him and saw him staring into her eyes, his expression unreadable. “I know that sounds weird.”
“Not at all.”
“Really?”
He stepped closer to her. “Yeah.” The depth of his eyes made her feel uncomfortable. They were so blue and dark, mysterious in their depth. He leaned closer to her, close enough that she could smell the faint scent of his cologne. He was confident but not cocky, finding the right line but never crossing it. She wasn’t sure how she felt in that moment. A connection formed between, unspoken but ever present.
The intense look made her feel flustered, so she looked down at her cup, seeing the foam disappear.
He shifted his weight again then looked at the crowd of people. “So, where do you work, Nancy?”
“At the aquarium.”
“Do you like it? Or do you not know?”
She chuckled lightly. “For the most part. Lately, I haven’t.”
“Why is that?”
“My two best friends don’t work with me anymore. It just isn’t as fun.”
“Why did you decide to work there?”
She shrugged. “Since I’m a science major, I decided to find a job related to the field. After my friend got a job, she recommended me.”
“And what do you do there?”
“I’m a janitor.”
He didn’t react to her words.
“I just wanted to get my foot in the door.”
He nodded. “You have to start somewhere.”
“So, how long have you been surfing?”
“Since I can remember. My father and I used to do it all the time.”
“Why did he stop?”
“He passed away.”
“Oh.” Now she felt like an insensitive jerk. “I’m sorry.”
“Thank you.” He stared into her eyes, never wavering as he held her gaze. “We used to do it every morning. After he passed away, I stopped for a long time because it was too hard for me, made me too sad. I started up again and haven’t stopped. I feel connected to him when I ride the waves, that he’s just a few feet away on his own board.”
Nancy didn’t know what to say. He just told her something so personal but she couldn’t think of an intelligent response. She was afraid she would say the wrong thing and make it worse. But she was also afraid if she didn’t say anything, it would make her look insensitive. “I’m—I’m glad you still honor him.”