He stared at her, his eyes wide.
‘See?’ She smiled and kissed him on the nose to make him smile too. ‘I’m going to be A-OK.’
‘You promise?’
‘I promise.’
‘Do you want me to sleep with you tonight?’
She pretended to consider it. ‘No, I think I will be fine, thank you. Besides—’ she tickled him ‘—you’d keep me awake all night with your snoring.’
He wriggled under her searching fingers. ‘I don’t snore.’ He giggled.
‘C’mon.’ She set him on the ground. ‘It’s time you were tucked up in bed.’
She took his hand and led him back into the house.
When Kate woke the next morning, she found Jesse’s head on the pillow beside her and his eyes regarding her steadily.
‘Good morning, chook. How long have you been here?’
‘For a bit.’
It couldn’t have been for too long. She hadn’t fallen asleep until the wee small hours and a glance at the clock told her it wasn’t much past six now.
‘And I was very, very careful not to snore.’
‘I greatly appreciate your thoughtfulness.’
Jesse didn’t giggle like he normally would. ‘Are you still sad?’
She gave a mock glare. ‘Do I look sad to you?’
Jesse didn’t answer and she thought perhaps it might be better not to have asked that question. She brushed the hair out of his eyes. ‘What’s on for school today? Sport?’
‘Couldn’t we make Simon stay?’
Oh, dear. She tried to pull a silly face. ‘Ooh, like lock him up in the dungeon?’
He gave her one of those looks. ‘We don’t have a dungeon, Mum.’
‘The attic, then?’
‘We don’t have one of those either. But—’
She pressed a finger to his lips. ‘Simon can’t stay, sweetheart, even though he wants to. He’s in charge of a big, big house and—’
‘How big?’
‘It could be as big as our whole street for all I know.’
‘That big,’ he breathed. ‘Wow.’
‘I know.’ She jumped out of bed. ‘Let’s look it up on the computer.’
She let Jesse fire up the computer whilst she made coffee. ‘What do I type in?’ he asked.
‘Try Holm House.’ She squeezed into the seat beside him and spelt it out for him. She sipped her coffee as the computer chugged away for a bit…
Both their jaws dropped at the same moment. The most impressive house Kate had ever seen outside of a period drama appeared on screen—huge, regal…had she already thought huge?
Jesse turned to her, all eyes. ‘That’s where Simon lives?’
She gulped, running her finger along the accompanying blurb. ‘Uh-huh, the residence of the seventh Lord of Holm—that’s Simon. Has been used in movie sets and…and…’
‘Wow!’ Jesse stared at her, then back at the screen. ‘Wow!’
‘Yep.’ She nodded. ‘Wow. You see, Jesse, it’s a very important house because of…’ she floundered for a moment ‘…because of history. Kings and queens have stayed there.’ Now she was just making it up as she went along, but England had had a lot of kings and queens. Surely one of them had stayed on the Holm estate. ‘And it’s Simon’s job to look after that house. He’s promised to preserve it for…for future generations. He’s going to let people have their weddings and conferences there, and make films…and stuff,’ she finished lamely.
Her eyes started to burn. Had Simon really wanted to share all of this with her?
She snapped to when she realised Jesse was watching her with big grave eyes. ‘And that’s why Simon has to go back to England,’ she said.
Jesse sighed. ‘I bet having a house like that means he’s awful busy.’
‘I bet you’re right. But you know what else? I bet Simon would love to have you as his email buddy.’
He brightened. ‘You think so?’
‘I’m sure of it.’
Jesse and Simon had formed a bond. Time and distance might weaken it, perhaps even destroy it, but she wouldn’t. No sirree.
‘C’mon, mister. Let’s make pancakes for breakfast and then it’s off to school with you.’
And no more daydreaming for her.
‘Pop the champagne, Danny,’ Felice ordered, striding outside and setting an enormous pan of paella, bursting with plump prawns and juicy mussels, onto the table.
It looked heavenly, and probably smelt heavenly, and if Kate could draw a proper breath perhaps she’d manage to appreciate it more.
Felice beamed around the table. ‘We’re going to toast Simon’s last night—on this visit, at least—in style.’
Simon’s last night. Here. In Australia.
If her eyes didn’t keep clouding over perhaps she’d appreciate the beautiful table setting Felice had arranged with so much care too—a pretty tablecloth, frangipani flowers floating in a bowl of water, crystal champagne flutes. French champagne.
Kate sighed. She couldn’t seem to dredge up an ounce of enthusiasm for any of it. Everything seemed deadened and dull. The champagne she sipped, the salt-drenched air, even the view spread out in front of her lacked colour and life.
‘Hey!’
Jesse? That spun her around. ‘What are you—’
Paul! She leapt to her feet. What was wrong? What had happened?
‘We made it,’ Jesse cried, dragging Paul to the table.
Of course. Kate sat. Felice wouldn’t have forgotten to invite Jesse for Simon’s last dinner. And Jesse wouldn’t have missed it for the world.
Kate pasted on her happy face.
Felice doled out large servings of paella. Kate wanted to tell her not to make her serving too large, but she didn’t want to sound ungracious. Her face started to ache from her happy smile. Beside her, she could sense Simon’s tension. Sitting beside him, dragging in drugging breaths of his cool scent, was probably better than sitting across from him, ogling his superb shoulders in that navy polo shirt that darkened his eyes.
Because she knew it wasn’t the shirt that darkened his eyes, but pain. And she couldn’t reach out and wipe that pain away. So sitting beside him rather than opposite was infinitely preferable. For him too, she guessed. He wouldn’t see her happy smile for the sham it was.
‘I’m glad you could make it,’ Felice said to Paul, handing him a laden plate.
‘I had to come,’ he said simply. ‘Jesse is worried about Kate.’
The entire table stilled. Then, as one, turned to stare at Kate.
‘Oh, Jesse.’ But her son stared down at his plate and wouldn’t meet her eyes.
Paul glared at Simon. ‘He said you made her cry.’
‘Can we talk about this in private?’ she hissed at Paul.
He shook his head once—hard. ‘We’re all family here, Kate. We care about you.’
‘But—’
‘Let the man speak for himself.’
Kate slumped back. ‘I’m sorry about this, Simon.’
Simon reached out and covered her hand with his. Warmth flooded through her. ‘You have nothing to apologise for.’ And then he removed his hand and the warmth drifted away and was gone.
Just like Simon would be gone. Tomorrow.
Simon straightened his shoulders. ‘Jesse is right. I did make Kate cry. I didn’t mean to.’ He hauled in a breath. ‘I’ve hurt her and I’ll regret it to my dying day. I’m very sorry.’
Paul stared at Simon and then his shoulders sagged. ‘You’re in love with her.’
It was a statement, not a question, but Simon answered anyway. ‘Yes.’
‘And Mummy loves Simon.’
Felice dropped the serving spoon. It splattered the tablecloth and almost upset the bowl of frangipani flowers. She stared at Kate and Simon. ‘I had no idea.’ She sank into her chair, one hand covering her mouth.
No. She and Danny had been too caught up in their post-honeymoon bliss. As they should be. Kate didn’t blame th
em for that. She didn’t blame anyone.
‘But this is perfect!’ Felice practically bounced out of her seat. ‘You guys were meant for each other.’
Kate didn’t say anything, nor did Simon. He didn’t move so much as a muscle. She couldn’t move anything.
Danny rested his arms on the table, leaning across it towards her. ‘If you love him, Kate, then…Look, Felice and I, we want to stay here and run Merry Dolphin Tours. You’ve done everything for so long, it’s time I pulled my weight. With Archie’s help, Felice and I can take over, and you’d be free to go with Simon. You’re not tied here.’
From somewhere she managed to find a smile. ‘I may not be, but Jesse is.’
Danny sat back, glanced at Paul, then swore softly under his breath. ‘Hell, I wasn’t thinking. Sorry, Kate, Paul, I…’
She wanted to tell him it was okay, that she knew he only wanted her to be happy, but the effort was beyond her for the moment.
Felice shook her head, glancing around the table wildly. ‘No, that can’t be it! Paul could visit. Jesse can come back for school holidays and—’
‘No!’ Kate hadn’t meant to speak so loudly. She didn’t mean for Felice’s eyes to fill up with tears either, but this had to be settled. ‘I wouldn’t dream of letting Paul take Jesse out of the country to live, leaving me to see him only on brief visits and school holidays. So I won’t do that to Paul either. I won’t do that to Jesse.’
With all her heart she wanted to pack up and follow Simon tomorrow—even if it meant leaving her home and her family. Somehow, Simon had become her family. But she couldn’t do it if it meant Jesse suffered. Jesse had to come first.
‘Jesse needs both me and Paul.’ She pulled in a breath. ‘This is for the best.’ She glanced around the table with her fiercest smile. ‘Now, c’mon guys, this is supposed to be a celebratory dinner. Chop-chop, Felice.’ She clapped her hands. ‘Keep serving; I’m hungry and I prefer my paella lukewarm, not stone-cold.’
Felice leapt up to serve, Danny tried to tell a joke but it petered out before he got to the punchline. Jesse ran around the table to her. His bottom lip wobbled. ‘But you’re still going to be sad!’
‘No, I won’t, chook. I’ll be as cheerful and happy as ever.’
He placed his hands on either side of her face. ‘Your mouth smiles, but your eyes aren’t sparkly any more.’
The table gave a collective gasp. The serving spoon clattered into the bowl of frangipani flowers. Kate was too shattered to speak.
Simon’s strong hands descended to Jesse’s shoulders and turned him around. He smiled at Kate over the top of Jesse’s head—a buck up smile. She tried to buck up.
‘Jesse—’ he started in that to-die-for accent of his ‘—as long as your mum has you she’ll never be truly sad. More than just about anything, she wants you to be happy, and I know you understand that because you want her to be happy too.’
Jesse nodded. ‘Uh-huh.’
‘But, even more than that, she wants what’s best for you. It might make you happy to have a second bowl of ice cream or to eat a whole block of chocolate, but she’s not going to let you do that because she knows it’ll give you a stomach ache and rot your teeth. You might want to race outside without your hat and sunscreen, but she’s not going to let you do that either because you might get sunburned.’
Jesse nodded again. ‘’Cause mums know what will make you sad later.’
Kate’s soul filled with pride in her son.
‘Your mum knows what’s best for you,’ Simon continued. ‘And what’s best is to have both her and your dad living nearby so you can see both of them whenever you want. Although it’s hard and makes all of us a bit sad, what your mum is doing is right. Okay, mate?’
‘Okay,’ Jesse finally mumbled. Then he flung his arms around Simon’s neck. ‘But we’ll miss you!’
Simon’s strong arms went around her child and Kate couldn’t suppress a sigh.
‘I’ll miss all of you too.’ Slowly Simon drew back as if reluctant to release Jesse. ‘But if it’s okay with your mum and dad, maybe you could visit when Felice and Danny come over in June?’
‘Wow, really?’ Jesse swung to Kate, his eyes filled with hope. ‘You could come too.’
She tried to smile, tried to make her eyes sparkly. ‘Someone will need to stay here and pilot The Merry Dolphin.’ She could not go to England and see Simon. She couldn’t.
Jesse’s face fell. ‘But—’
She leaned forward, laying a finger against his lips. ‘Enough for now, okay. We’ll talk about it when the time gets closer. We’re supposed to be making Simon’s last night here fun. So back around the table and eat your dinner, young man.’
Felice, with tears pouring down her face, continued to serve out what Kate suspected was now stone-cold paella. All Kate wanted to do was rest her head against the table top and groan. Beneath the table, Simon gripped her hand.
Her spine straightened. She sent him a smile. With Simon beside her she’d find the strength to get through this meal. Somehow.
Kate breathed a sigh of relief when Paul decided it was time to take Jesse home to bed, when Danny and Felice said it was their bedtime too…when the forced jollity around the table finally came to an end.
When everyone tactfully left her and Simon alone.
She closed her eyes and stretched her arms back over her head. ‘I swear I thought it was never going to come to an end,’ she groaned.
Simon’s low chuckle skittered across her bare skin, raising goose-bumps.
‘I’d put up with that and a whole lot more just to have a few minutes alone with you.’
She’d miss his voice, his scent.
He reached out his hand and she placed her own in it. They sat there, hands clasped, aching.
She’d miss his touch.
‘I’m sorry about Paul puffing up earlier.’
‘Don’t be. He was worried about you. And understandably concerned that you wanted to take Jesse out of the country.’
She turned her head. ‘I…I couldn’t do that, Simon.’
He met her gaze. ‘I know.’ His hand tightened about hers. His eyes told her he understood. ‘I admire you for it.’
She blew a strand of hair off her face. ‘But now everyone knows.’ She’d have much preferred to keep her grief to herself. ‘Danny and Felice will be watching me like hawks now.’ And probably treating her like an invalid.
‘I’m glad they know,’ Simon said. ‘They’ll look after you.’
‘I can look after myself!’
‘I know, but it makes me feel better knowing they’ll be looking out for you too.’
‘Oh, Simon.’ She turned to face him. ‘Who’ll look out for you?’
With his free hand, he brushed her hair from her face and back behind her ear. ‘You’re not to worry about me, Kate.’
How could she not?
And just how did one go about making one’s eyes sparkly? She’d try and do that for him right now if she could.
Simon’s thumb moved back and forth across her bottom lip. ‘You’ve given me far more than…than the pain of missing you will take away.’
She seized his hand, unable to take too much of a touch that sparked a red-hot desire in her.
‘You’ve taught me what’s really important in life and I won’t forget.’
‘Promise me you’ll take regular holidays.’
‘I promise.’
‘And that you’ll stop and smell the coconut oil.’
‘And the roses,’ he promised, his eyes gentle.
She managed a smile then. ‘And when the time is right, you will become a father.’
A spasm of pain crossed his face. His hands tightened about hers and she welcomed the sudden bite of pain. ‘I can’t promise you that,’ he said, his voice ragged.
She reached out, wiped the lines from his face and very gently placed her lips on his. Their lips clung—briefly, too briefly—then parted.
‘You made me feel
like a princess,’ she whispered.
He seized her face in his hands. ‘Come and visit Holm House,’ he urged. ‘When Felice and Danny come. Or whenever you like. I swear you’ll be treated like royalty and we’ll—’
‘No.’ She drew back, her heart burning in protest. ‘I can’t.’ The hope died on Simon’s face. She hated that too, but she couldn’t help it. ‘That would be too hard for both of us.’ If she started to visit him, she’d never get over him. He wouldn’t find a way to move forward either.
She’d never get over him anyway.
She pushed that thought away. She’d find a way to make her eyes sparkly again. She had to. For Jesse’s sake.
Simon drew her to her feet. His lips descended to hers—firm, warm…full of unspoken things that made tears press against the backs of her eyes.
She wouldn’t let them fall. She would not let that be his last memory of her.
‘I love you,’ she whispered when he drew back.
His fingers brushed her face—a butterfly touch. ‘Goodbye, Kate.’
He turned and was gone, swallowed by the shadows of her garden and beyond. When she could hear him no more, Kate felt behind her for her chair. She eased herself down into it, hugged her knees to her chest and stared out into the night.
CHAPTER TEN
KATE turned her head the tiniest fraction, an action designed to expend the least amount of energy possible. The bedside clock showed it was nine o’clock.
Danny and Felice had arranged to pick Simon up from his hotel and drive him to the airport at nine o’clock.
The airport in Sydney.
His flight wasn’t till four, but they’d all agreed on the wisdom of leaving in plenty of time.
In case of traffic delays.
So they could take their time.
Just because…
In seven more hours, Simon would be in the air and heading for the other side of the world.
The Aristocrat and the Single Mom Page 16