Worth Every Risk

by Laine, Terri E.

  No, it wasn’t ideal for me, but did she have to do that? She could’ve lied to me had she wanted to. She didn’t have to tell me the truth. I never would’ve known. Maybe I would’ve figured it out, so nix that, but whatever. I can’t totally hate her for what she did. People make mistakes. Yeah, I’ve made a shit ton myself. Maybe I need to rethink this whole thing with her. But then again, there’s that Owen issue. Perhaps if I keep them apart long enough, she’ll forget about him. But then that makes me an asshole, and I don’t want to be that guy.

  I need to clear the air with her once and for all. But dumping all this on her at once is entirely too much. I’ll wait and do it a little at a time. If I take long enough, maybe she will have forgotten him by then.

  “Dada. Airplane. Dada. Plane.”

  I’ve been so bogged down in my thoughts, I didn’t hear Violet calling me.

  “Coming.” I swim over and grab her out of Andi’s arms. Then I lift her high in the air and pretend to be an airplane, swooping low over the water, then back high again. Her arms and legs kick in excitement. She loves this.

  Andi’s voice comes to me from over my shoulder. “You’re going to spoil her.”

  “I plan on it.”

  “Thanks. I can see it now. You’re at practice and it’ll be, airplane, under, this or that. I won’t be able to keep up. I’ll be chasing her all over the place.”

  “Probably so, but tell me you won’t love it.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. I’ve never been a stay-at-home mom, so it’ll be different.” Then she picks up Violet’s hand and says, “Monkey Bear, it’s time to get out. You look like a raisin. Look at your fingers.”

  They’re shriveled up as can be.

  “Dada, look.” She holds them out for me to see. Then I show her mine look the same, and she likes that.

  “Come on, Little One. Time to get out and ready for dinner.”

  Andi wraps Violet in one of the many towels out here, and then wraps herself in one, while I do the same. Together, we walk inside.

  “You didn’t say, but I guess your flight went well?”

  “Yeah, it was great. Thanks for handling everything for me. I really appreciate it. And the apartment too.”

  “It’s good. I want you happy here.”

  She offers me a smile. “This house is amazing. I guess I need to unpack.”

  “Sure. Did one of the moms show you which room is yours?” I ask.

  “Yeah. Are you sure you want me to have the master?”

  “Actually, all the bedrooms are like that.”

  “Seriously?”

  Laughing, I answer, “Yeah, unpack and when you’re finished, let me know. I’ll show you around. Violet’s room is great. I had to buy her a few things for her toys and such, but everything else was furnished.”

  She goes to take Violet and I say, “I’ll take her. You go take care of your things. Meet us downstairs when you’re done.”

  “Thanks. Oh, Chase, your nose looks a lot better.”

  “Yeah, it’s good. I had it checked here and I’m cleared to play. I have to wear a face shield for six weeks, but other than that, I’m good.”

  I take Violet and change her into clothes and run her downstairs to her nana. Then I go back up to change. When I’m finished, I walk over to Andi’s room and knock on the door.

  “Come in.”

  “It looks like you’ve got a lot done.”

  “There’s a whole other suitcase I haven’t opened yet.”

  “Oh, I didn’t see that one. You doing okay?”

  She glances around and nods. “Yeah, I am. It’ll be an adjustment, and there will be things I miss, but …”

  I’m pretty sure she’s referring to Owen.

  “About your work. It’s not going to be easy like we talked about. And with Violet, I thought it might be easier if you were here with her.”

  “I agree. Maybe when she’s older or something. I’ll cross that bridge, you know.”

  “Look, Andi, I do want you to be happy. And I want us to be … well, I want us to provide a wonderful home for our daughter. That’s my number one priority.”

  “Sure, yeah, me too.”

  There are so many things I want to say to her, but it’s awkward and I can’t get the words to form on my tongue. Instead, I find myself offering her a smile and then walking out the door. It’s not exactly what I had in mind, but then again, Rome wasn’t built in a day either. Maybe somehow we can find a way to rebuild what we had. And if not, I’ll be one miserable son of a bitch with her living under my roof.

  Twenty-Three

  Andi

  A week flies by in no time. The moms and Violet surprised me with a birthday cake that Violet helped make. It was just the four of us because Chase had been away at a game. I’m sorry when it’s time to say goodbye to our moms. After they are gone, the house seems empty, especially when Violet is sleeping as she is now. I go and check on her because she’s usually up by now. When I brush her hair from her face, her skin is warm. Immediately, I find the thermometer and swipe it across her head.

  “What’s going on?”

  Chase must have heard me frantically rooting through Violet’s bathroom. When I glance back, I find him in the doorway with an arm resting on the frame.

  “She’s running a low-grade fever,” I say, turning my attention back to my little one.

  He scratches his head. “She had a slight one several days before you arrived.”

  I snap my head around.

  “What?” I have to stop myself and lead him out of the room. I don’t want to fight in front of her in case she wakes up. “You didn’t tell me,” I accuse.

  “My mom and yours said it was fine. They gave her the Tylenol you packed and she was good.”

  He’s clueless about how betrayed I feel.

  “But you didn’t tell me!” Anger boils in me.

  “They thought with everything you had going on, they didn’t want to worry you.”

  “But she’s my daughter.”

  Chase’s jaw ticks. “She’s my daughter too. And I didn’t know about her first word or when she took her first step.”

  It feels like a slap. I step back, reining in my temper. He’s right. He’s missed so much. What right do I have to call him out on not telling me something? I soften my tone.

  “Can we just agree to share information like this? I am a nurse. I need to know when she’s sick.”

  He nods and takes a second. “Is she going to be okay?”

  Sighing, I say, “I think so. It’s probably just a reaction to being in a new place with new germs. She’ll be fine.”

  In the back of my head, I make a mental note of a possible pattern. If she gets another fever, we will take her to a doctor to get checked out.

  Chase walks away and awkwardly, I head back to my room. I don’t know what to do around this man anymore. We used to be friends and could talk about everything under the sun. Now, he feels like a stranger.

  Then I remember his words and go find the things I brought for him. After I have them, I search for him in the house, but he’s not anywhere. I knock on his room door.

  He opens it, shirtless. For a second, I forget the entire English language. The man is perfection. His defined muscles beg to be touched. I swallow hard, gulping down air.

  “Do you need me?”

  That is such a loaded question. My body is on high alert, recognizing him as someone who could light it on fire. I clear my throat and hold out my hand.

  “What’s this?”

  He takes the envelope and thumb drive I offer.

  “It’s the letter I meant to send you a thousand times. And the other has pictures and videos of Violet from her birth. You may not have been there, but I didn’t want you to miss those important moments. It’s not everything, because some things happen when you least expect them. But her first word was dada, by the way. There is a video of her saying it and me trying to get her to say mama. Anyway, it’s all I have to give.
It doesn’t make up for the time you lost, but …”

  My throat closes and I wave a hand, unable to speak, and walk away. Several seconds tick by before his door clicks shut.

  Violet gets up not long after and Chase leaves for practice. He has an away game in two days. He’ll be gone for a couple of days. That’s the extent of most of our conversations, which are limited to anything to do with Violet, including his schedule.

  With the moms not here to cook, I decide to make a special dinner. Though nothing could compare to their cooking, I try.

  Chase has made sure to be home to spend time with Violet. I wonder when that will change. He has a social life, based on the tabloids. Still, he arrives predictably and dinner is almost ready.

  “Dada,” Violet says as he comes through the door.

  He scoops her up and it’s a sight to behold the two of them together. For a man who used to flee when little kids or babies were around, he’s an amazing dad.

  “Hi,” he says by way of greeting to me, but immediately focuses on Violet before I can do anything but give a quick hi back. “Ready to fly?” he asks her.

  “Fy, Fy!”

  She’s already in her bathing suit.

  “Give me one minute to change.”

  He sets her back down and she nods. She waits by the glass doors that lead to the infinity pool. I keep an eye on her, but so far she hasn’t broken the rules of waiting for someone to go with her before she goes outside. It’s not much longer than the minute he promised, and they are in the water.

  I swallow back the loneliness. Although we live together in this big house, he and I might as well be on different continents. Your fault. I blow out a breath and set the table.

  When they come in, Chase stares at the table spread.

  “Wow, it looks like your mom made us dinner.”

  “Eat,” Violet says.

  He finally looks at me like he actually sees me here. “Is it ready?”

  I nod. He puts Violet in the booster chair and gets her all strapped in. Again, I’m amazed how well he’s adapted to being a father.

  After we are all seated, I ask him about practice.

  “Well, Coach was being an as—” He stops himself midsentence and I watch him try to find another word.

  “As,” Violet repeats.

  “Asset,” Chase corrects. “Coach was being an asset to everyone today.”

  I bite back a laugh, but can’t stop the grin. “I guess he thought you were a liability.”

  “Exactly.” Chase gestures with his fork in my direction.

  The grin he gives me is so damn sexy I have to glance away. He has no idea of the effect he has on me.

  “Mama makes good food.” He smiles at Violet, who gives him a toothy one of her own.

  As Chase inhales most of the meal, I just enjoy watching the two of them together. He’s so patient with her as she talks a mile a minute. Over half of what she says doesn’t make sense. Is this what it would have been like if I’d told him from the beginning that I was pregnant? My thoughts drift to the letter and thumb drive. Has he read it or viewed the pictures and videos? I don’t dare ask. He has a right to do it on his own time, not mine.

  Chase insists on doing bath time since he will be leaving first thing the day after next. I’m sitting in the living room watching the incredible sunset when he comes in.

  “You guys must have had a busy day. She fell right asleep,” he says as the cushions dip under his weight.

  I wonder if he notices what little distance he put between us.

  “We did. We took a long walk. It was such a pretty day.”

  I keep my gaze at the horizon, for fear he will see the longing in my eyes. The picturesque scene is too romantic for words. And if I turn, it won’t be a stretch to lean over to his gorgeous mouth.

  “Thanks for dinner, by the way.”

  I lick my lips and try to keep my breathing under control as he shifts, putting us closer together.

  “No problem. It’s the least I can do.”

  His next words fan through my hair as his heat warms my exposed skin.

  “You don’t have to. I don’t expect it.” I nod. “Andi …”

  The way he says my name has me finally turning to look at him. His lips part. There is a second where I swear he’s thinking about kissing me. I dare hope, but then his phone chimes. When he checks the screen, he apologizes. “I’m sorry. I have to take this.”

  He moves away, taking his heat with him. On his feet, he drifts out through the wall-to-ceiling doors to the pool area, cutting me off from hearing his conversation. Is it his fiancée? From the way he’s at home, there hasn’t been a lot of time for him to see her, unless he’s lying about his schedule. And I don’t believe that for a second. We aren’t together. He has no reason to lie about something like that.

  As I watch him, I become envious of the shorts he wears on this unseasonably warm night. They cup his ass in such a way that I find myself guzzling my glass of wine. My body buzzes with excitement. It’s been far too long since I’ve been touched. I can’t stay here lest I not be responsible for what I do next. So I take the glass to the kitchen and wash it. Chase’s conversation is so intense, he doesn’t even know I leave. I close myself in my room after a quick check on Violet. Her fever has passed, just as fast as it came yesterday, but now I burn with something so very different.

  The next day, Chase is gone early because the team is leaving the next morning. That much I’d gotten from our previous night’s dinner. I spend the afternoon trying another recipe. Cooking has become my pastime with nothing else to do. It feels weird not to work. So I fill it with YouTube cooking videos.

  When he gets home, like clockwork they are in the pool. Violet’s not going to be happy when he’s gone. I’ll have to think of some activities to distract her.

  The doorbell rings, startling me. I glance over to see Chase tossing Violet in the air. We haven’t had visitors and he hadn’t said he was having company. So I answer it.

  A stunning brunette is on the other side. I recognize her immediately as Lucia, Chase’s fiancée.

  Her voice is beautiful, much like the woman herself. Only her rapid Italian is more than my self-teaching Duolingo app can handle.

  “English?” I ask.

  “Who are you?” she asks in a thick accent.

  How do I answer that question? If she’s Chase’s fiancée, doesn’t she have a right to know?

  “Why are you here?” The question comes from behind me.

  I glance over my shoulder to see Chase towering there, glowering at her as he holds Violet in his arms.

  “I came to talk to you,” she says.

  I reach for our daughter, who leans toward me. “Come on, Violet. Daddy has company.”

  Chase doesn’t stop me. As I walk away, I can’t make out their hushed tones. The only thing I feel is extreme jealousy. But there is no way I can compete with a woman who looks like her. She’s gorgeous in a Hollywood movie star kind of way. No wonder he never once tried to get me back in the years after he left. How can I blame him?

  Twenty-Four

  Chase

  If Lucia were a man, I’m pretty fucking sure my fist would be making contact with her jaw right now. The fact that she had the nerve to stalk me after practice, and by her admission, sit and wait outside my house for an hour pisses me off even more.

  “How long have you been following me?” I ask, trying to rein in my anger.

  “Only a few days.”

  “Only a few days,” I repeat. “And to what end, Lucia? We’re through. We’ve been over. You and I are no more. We haven’t been together for months.”

  “But, Chase, I still love you.”

  “Stop it,” I grit out. What more does she want from me? She can’t need money. She earns enough in her own right. “There isn’t now, nor has there ever been any love between us. In fact, I was never in love with you, and you knew that from the start. I never lied about it or made false promises to you.
”

  “No, Chase. I do love you.”

  “Fine, but there’s a huge problem with that. I. Don’t. Love. You. I don’t know what it’s going to take to get it through your head, other than to be this blunt.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me about your daughter?” She makes a point to look teary-eyed. I’ve seen her act this way, and it does nothing to me. In fact, all it does is make me even more pissed off.

  “Because it’s none of your fucking business. Nothing I do is your business, Lucia.”

  And she starts to sob. She sounds absolutely ridiculous too. So much so I want to laugh.

  “Give it up, Lucia. None of your tactics are going to work.”

  She sniffs loudly a few times, then stares at me. How could I ever have thought she was beautiful? Andi is the girl of my dreams, not the gaudy Lucia. Her eyelashes are heavy with mascara and her face carries a ton of makeup. Andi needs none of that. She’s perfect without it.

  “I’m pregnant, Chase.”

  The words tear through my brain like a speeding rocket. Did I hear her correctly?

  “What did you say?”

  She grins and suddenly she looks like a serpent. “I said I’m pregnant, si? That’s how you say it?”

  “Pregnant.” My mind races. We never once had sex without a condom. I made damn sure of that. My eyes instantly drop to her stomach. Lucia is fond of dressing provocatively. She wears tight jeans and short shirts that show off a wide strip of skin. If she’s pregnant and it’s mine, she has to be at least several months by my calculations. Her stomach can’t be that flat. “Are you sure it’s mine?”

  Her mouth compresses into one thin line. “Yes, it is yours.”

  “Fine. I want to go to the doctor with you. For proof and DNA testing that I’m the father. Who’s your doctor? Give me his name.”

  “Um …”

  She stumbles around for words.

  “Unless you’re making this up.”

  “No, I am not.”

  “Fine. I want your doctor’s name. Anyone I know would be able to rattle their doctor’s name off in a snap. Why can’t you?”