She tried unsuccessfully to pull the waist of her dress away from her skin. It fit too snugly, and she could find no graceful way to get air closer to her skin. Looking around to make sure Lukas hadn’t returned, she slipped to the doors and made her way outside.
The difference in temperature hit her at once. Holding her head up to catch a passing breeze, she gave a sigh of pleasure as the wind brushed her face. She glanced around and wondered why no one else had ventured outside. Walking to one end of the spacious patio, she squinted into the night. Dusk was sliding into darkness, but the outline of the expansive gardens was still visible.
She lost track of time, and the night air held a chill before she turned to start back inside. She’d taken a few steps when she felt a strong arm encircle her and drag her to the railing. A foul-smelling hand covered her mouth.
“What have we here?” The voice sounded familiar, but she couldn’t place it as she struggled to get free. “Looks like fate has brought us together again. Can’t argue with fate now, can you?”
Byron Davis!
“Mmph!” Lexy jerked her head to the side and tried to bite the hand over her mouth. But it was too strong and didn’t allow her mouth any leeway. She inhaled and the scent of him assaulted her, the stale taste settling in the back of her throat.
He gave a menacing laugh. “You’re not in a position to argue with much of anything right now are you, Princess?”
How did he know? Lukas introduced her as Lady Lukas. She concentrated on her right elbow. If she could get it free, she might be able to reach his sword, if he had one. She tried to recall his appearance on the docks, but only remembered his broken teeth.
Byron tightened his grip. “I’ve never had the pleasure of a princess’s company before,” he whispered in her ear, rancid breath working its way to her nose. She resisted the urge to gag.
Her arms weren’t going to help her. She doubted her feet would be much good either, cloaked as they were with the fabric of her dress. Still, if she could work a foot up his leg and run it down his leg to slam into his foot…
Byron tightened his arms once again, and she might as well have been in a vise. The hand around her mouth jerked backwards. Lord!
“Listen to me, Princess.” She felt the heat of his words on her neck, his lips so close her skin crawled. “This can go easy for you, or it can go hard. The decision’s up to you, but I can promise you won’t find hard pleasant.” He yanked her backwards and she found herself moving with him. “Oldenburg has a garden cottage not far from here. This time of night, we’ll have the place to ourselves. Do as I say and I might let you go in time to see that husband of yours before the party ends. Fight me and he won’t recognize you.”
He’d have to kill her where she stood. There was no way she would go anywhere with him. She allowed herself to be taken a few steps backward toward the stairs before she wrenched herself forward.
Byron hadn’t expected her move, but he recovered fast. “You little…”. He pinched her nose with his thumb and forefinger. “You’ll pay for that! See how you like it when you can’t breathe!” He laughed again and leaned closer, the rough edges of his teeth scraped her neck, and he nipped her skin. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you’re awake soon enough.”
Air trickled into her mouth from around Byron’s fingers. It wasn’t enough. Her lungs burned, and she sucked greedily against his hand, fighting for what little air she could find.
So that was how it ended. That was how she’d go out. She didn’t want to wake up in the cottage. Couldn’t bear to think what Bryon had in mind. Take me now, Lord.
Byron inched another step closer to the steps, and her feet grazed the patio as she helplessly followed. Her mind echoed with the throbbing beat of her heart. Soon, even that began to fade. Darkness crept in around the edges of her vision.
From the shadows nearby, she heard the faint swoosh of a sword and the arms around her tensed.
“Unhand my wife.”
Lukas!
Byron relaxed his hold a fraction of an inch, but it was enough. She gulped the air seeping through the hand that still held her tight. Pinpoints of light flashed before her in rhythm with the steady beat of her heart.
“Reynard. Your wife and I were just becoming better acquainted.” Byron’s hand lost more of its grip. It was all she needed. “Owww! She bit me! I’ll kill you for that!”
“If there is any killing to occur tonight, it will be accomplished by my hand.” Lukas stood before her with sword drawn, his eyes a vast wasteland of emotion. She knew he meant the sword for Byron, but as she looked into the darkness of his expression, she shivered. He’d become a different person altogether; her beloved was no more.
“And you test my patience with your refusal to heed my command. Unhand my wife.” The sword sliced through the air above her head and stopped somewhere in the vicinity of Byron’s throat. “Now.”
Byron released her. She fell to the ground, landing on her hands and knees. Relief coursed through her body. She began to shake.
“Are you harmed, Alexia?” Lukas dropped his gaze to her. Their gazes met, and for a fleeting moment he was her husband again.
“No,” she said. She stood and brushed her gown. Lukas reached for her hand and gave it a quick squeeze. His other hand kept the sword aimed at Byron.
Her tormentor lifted his hands in the air. “I doubt our mutual friend would be pleased to hear of my demise by your hand.”
Lukas’s expression faltered for a second. “I claim no friendship with any of your acquaintances.”
Byron nodded towards her. “Perhaps if your lady wife left us, we could talk more freely.”
Lukas kept his gaze fixed on Byron. “Alexia. Leave us be.”
She walked toward the door, opened it, then closed it again without entering the house. Instead she stepped to the side behind a large plant. The greenery kept her out of Byron’s view but allowed her to listen to the conversation.
Byron’s gruff voice floated through the night air. “You, sir, show an astounding amount of affection toward a lady doomed to die by summer’s end.”
“And you, swine, show an astounding amount of boldness for a man doomed to become rat fodder by dawn.”
“Come now, Reynard. What would Severon say about your husbandly affections and your murderous tendencies toward cohorts?”
She heard a shuffle of feet.
“He would applaud my splendent performance with Alexia and no doubt thank me for your eradication.”
“It’s not right, you know. You always got the best jobs.”
“That would be because I have mastered the intricacies of polite decorum. Unlike some people, fit only for muck and mire.”
Byron laughed. The sound vibrated down her spine and she flinched, knowing the sound would haunt her nightmares for weeks.
“I understand you’ll take her to the castle soon?”
“Those are my orders.”
“Mayhap then you’ll be more willing to share?”
Thoughts of Byron’s broken teeth and violent hands came unbidden. Her knees threatened to give out, and she pushed against the wall, the cold stone a welcome presence.
“You once more test my patience,” Lukas said, sounding slightly bored. “I believe I shall have to kill you after all.”
“You’ll do no such thing, and you know it.” Byron’s voice fell to a loud whisper. “Now, about that wife of yours. We could take turns—”
The unmistakable thud of fist meeting flesh interrupted Byron’s scheme, ending with the sickening crackle of bones.
No further sound came from the patio. She peeked around the plant. She hoped Lukas had broken Byron’s nose. She truly hoped he had.
Illuminated by the faint light of the windows, Lukas towered over Byron’s huddled form. Her husband stood panting. “Do not speak of Alexia again.” He kicked Byron, knocking the man to his knees. “Do not even think of her.”
Blood seeped between the fingers Byron had covering hi
s face and fell to the stone ground. He moaned when Lukas stepped closer.
“Depart from my sight,” Lukas commanded, his voice low, cold and without question the most terrifying sound she’d ever heard. “Else I find myself tempted to prove how wrong you were concerning my murderous tendencies.”
Byron scampered to his feet and hurried to the stairs. “She’s a dead woman, Reynard,” his voice muffled by his hands covering his nose. “Keep this up and hers won’t be the only head rolling.”
Lukas’s fist caught him in the gut. The injured man fell head over heels down the stairs, hitting each step with a satisfying thump. Minutes later his dark shadow escaped through the garden, his neck unfortunately intact following the fall.
“Alexia?” Lukas approached the plant. She wasn’t surprised he knew she’d remained outside. She stepped out of her hiding place and fell into his waiting arms. He held her and stroked her back as the sobs came.
“I apologize,” he said when she found herself cried out and his own breathing once more returned to normal. “I should have told you to remain inside.”
“You came just in time…” She pulled back to meet his gaze. “I’ve never wished to die before, but tonight when I thought he’d take me to that cottage, I…I was so scared. He said…”
“Shh.” He tightened his grip on her. “I knew I should have killed him. I had the opportunity, and I let him go.”
“You had no choice.” She stepped back and kissed his right hand. It tasted faintly of blood. She swallowed the bile rising to her throat. “You did what you had to do.”
“One day I shall kill him for what he did to you tonight.” His voice trembled. “Mark my words.” He brushed her last tear away with his thumb. “Are you able to return inside?”
At her nod, he opened the door. “Then let us depart this place. I find I am in need of a bath.”
Chapter Twenty-one
Lexy took a deep breath as they left the city the next morning. She sighed at the sweet pleasure of smelling the salty sea air. What a wondrous thing breathing was. She’d never take it for granted again.
Beside her, Lukas sat rigid in his saddle. He’d spoke little since they’d left the Duke of Oldenburg’s residence, choosing instead to remain in the company of his own thoughts. If she knew him, and by that time she was quite certain she did, he would not talk without prodding.
Lifting a silent prayer, she broke the silence. “You’ve been awfully quiet.”
He started at her voice, almost as if he was surprised to find he was not alone. His smile didn’t reach beyond his mouth. “I find it unlikely my thoughts worth mentioning.”
“It’s always better to talk things through.”
“My thoughts are not pleasant.”
“I’d be surprised if they were.”
He glanced at her. “My apologies. You must be dealing with your own unpleasant thoughts this morning.”
Typical of him to try to distract her. It wouldn’t work. “Don’t change the subject, we’re talking about you.”
“If you insist. I am disgusted at myself. I thought to leave my old self behind and to be forced to play it last night sickened me to my core. I feel filthy still. He asked me to share you, Alexia! No one would think to propose such a contemptible act to a gentleman and yet my past has assured me I am no gentleman.” He shook his head. “If only I could leave my skin.”
She let his words sink in. He had been right—they weren’t pleasant. But he’d been honest, and she could be no less. “You understand now what I meant when I said we’d all have to live with the consequences of your past. That its effects would haunt you?”
He wrinkled his eyebrows. “No. I thought you meant I would be haunted like the image of the boy in France haunts me. I knew not you meant I would haunt myself.”
“Most of the time, it’s easier to forgive others than it is to forgive ourselves.” Cara had often told her so, though she’d not understood until recently.
“Yet you could forgive both my past and my plans to have you killed. Neither one inconsequential.”
She brought her horse close to his and laid a hand on his knee. “And now you must forgive yourself.”
“You speak as though it is an easy matter. How am I to forgive myself when I know I will have to be that person in the future?”
“You do it the same way God did. In one swoop without looking back. You do it knowing you will have to pretend to be the old you, for that is a consequence as well. You accept it and you move forward.”
He frowned at the hand still on his leg. “I know not how you bear to touch me.”
Hadn’t she thought the same thing not two days before? But she’d forgiven him and would never take that back. “I touch you as I would touch myself. I touch you because I know what you’ve yet to accept. You don’t belong to yourself anymore, you belong to God.” She gave his leg a small squeeze. “And you belong to me.”
She pulled her hand back and gave him a few minutes to think on what she said.
“I can only imagine how hard it must be for you,” she finally said. “It was hard enough to watch; to actually do it must be a different matter altogether.”
He raised an eyebrow. “What say you?”
“I guess you have no idea what you looked like standing before Byron?”
“It never occurred to me to think of such a thing.”
“You lost all expression in your eyes. It was as though you were a different person. You sounded like you and you looked like you, yet somehow you weren’t you.”
“I felt not like me.”
“I’ll take that as a good sign. And I’ll take that as a really good sign,” she said at his smile.
The wind blew a lock of hair in his eyes. At that moment he had an almost fragile appearance, as if he wanted desperately to believe what she said. “Why?”
“That’s the first smile I’ve seen from you since before we left for the ball.” She gave a dramatic sigh. “I must be falling behind in my duties.”
“Ah yes, your duties.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Mayhap once we reach Hullington, we should practice.”
It was too good of an opportunity to let pass. “Practice what?” she said in a perfect imitation of his clipped accent. “Rendering the entire household speechless?”
He gave a stout laugh, and she glowed to see the twinkle return to his eyes. “No, my love,” he said. “Not the entire household. Just you.”
****
Late that night, Lexy lay awake. Her hand rested on Lukas’s chest, moving up and down with its rhythmic rise and fall. They’d experienced a joyous homecoming. Margaret and Ebbe had both been outside waiting for them. Lukas had been right about giving Ebbe time to himself. The older man clapped Lukas on the back upon his dismount. Lexy saw how pleased Lukas had been.
For once, everything was coming together as it should. Peace reigned in the house, the people she loved the most were getting along once more and earlier in the evening, Lukas had taken another large step in forgiving himself. Lexy had started the habit of leading an evening prayer for the both of them before retiring. That night, Lukas had grasped her hand as they knelt beside the bed and started the prayer himself.
She moved her hand and rolled away from him. Moonlight fell across the bed, casting long shadows in the nooks and crannies of the sheet covering them. She ran her hand over the smooth linen, straightening the wrinkles. Lukas gave a short snort in his sleep and rolled to his side.
Careful not to wake him, she slid out of bed. Tiptoeing out of their suite and down the stairs, she gave no thought to where she was headed. She stopped for a second once she stepped outdoors, but found her feet carried her to Culberton’s gardens. It brought a smile to her face to think about how significant gardens had become to her lately.
She looked out over her father-in-law’s vast estate and was struck with a realization. Culberton, for all his shortcomings, managed his holdings with the utmost skill. It was the role he’d been born into and o
ne he handled without fear. Lady Anne, with the whole of Haddon House, was always busy. She knew her people to their core and did everything in her power to help them.
Lexy knew she’d picked on Lukas about his pessimistic attitude concerning the future. And yet, for all her comments to the contrary, she’d also assumed they would fail in their attempt to win Dresdonia back. That they could succeed had not crossed her mind until that moment.
Little by little, she became aware of the rustle of grass behind her. Thoughts of Byron came to her mind, and she contemplated running off. Before she could move, a light blanket slipped around her. Lukas ran his hands over her shoulders and rested his chin on top of her head. The blanket carried his scent, and she leaned against him.
His voice was deep and husky with sleep. “I woke to find part of myself missing. I knew sleep would not return until I had it back and here you are, looking as a sprite, walking in the gardens with the moon overhead.”
“I’m sorry. I found myself unable to sleep again and thought a walk might help.” She laced her fingers through his. “But now I’m troubled by something else.”
“What would that be?”
“I have no idea how to be queen.”
****
She would, of course, be an impressive queen.
Lukas had no doubts. She was as delicate as an eggshell and yet strong as steel.
Once she pledged her loyalty, he knew she would not waiver. Had it not been her loyalty to Dresdonia that necessitated her marriage to him?
So great was her mercy, he was humbled anew upon every remembrance of what she had done for him.
And above all, she not only spoke her faith, but also lived it in such a manner that no one left her presence without having been changed for the better.
He grinned in the darkness. She would need guidance with simple matters such as clothing and proper decorum, but those were small details. She had the more important ones mastered.
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