Gremlins are Malfunctioning

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Gremlins are Malfunctioning Page 8

by Susan Lain


  "The few animal species that can pass the mirror test and recognize themselves in the mirror rather than believing they're seeing another member of their species are viewed as being self-aware. But it is not conclusive proof." Alek chewed on the inside of his cheek; Eliot saw his jaw moving. "Every mythkin species we have been able to give the mirror test to…have passed."

  "Holy shit," burst out of Eliot's mouth. He hadn't expected that. "But how can that be? The rainomalies exist for such a short time. How could they possibly—"

  "They aren't a mythkin species we've yet given the mirror test to. Dirty energy mythkin, however, have all passed the test." Alek leaned forward this time, elbows on his knees, his gaze aimed forward to a space on the wall. "There are naturally some tests beyond our capabilities. We cannot test their responses to pain or pleasure stimuli, for example, since they are mostly out of phase with our world."

  Eliot snarled at that. "Suffering is proof of sentience now?"

  Alek harrumphed. "I've never thought so. I think every living being, regardless of the level of consciousness, is capable of feeling both pleasure and pain. To reduce those sensations to mere brain size or the neocortex is a logical fallacy and, I dare say, completely unethical, not to mention inhumane."

  Perhaps Alek didn't know it, but Eliot's appreciation of him went up several notches at his words.

  "Attention is another indicator of consciousness we've been unable to test," Alek went on. "Mythkin don't pay any attention to us. But they are aware of our technology and machines, so…" He shrugged. "Hell, perhaps humans just aren't interesting to them."

  "What about problem-solving or communication?" Eliot asked, curious despite absorbing only a handful of the information thrust upon him. The rainomalies and music sprung to mind.

  "Ah." Alek straightened up and his brow smoothed away the wrinkles of a frown. "They do excel in cognitive tests, yes. Different species focus on different things. Water wraiths love mazes and puzzles, for example, while photon faeries have an affinity for stellar navigation and memory tests done with lights. Oil hellions like to use tools when destroying things, such as oil platforms, while frakkensteins excel in pattern recognition, from geometric shapes to abstract art. Voltaic devils respond well to images and sounds on computer screens, televisions, and radios, and nuclear nuggets have a handle on mathematics, numbers and equations."

  Eliot gasped, shaking his head in awe. "That's astounding…"

  "The one thing all mythkin have in common, though, is their spatial cognition ability. That eclipses all other tests performed. Their awareness of their surroundings seems to be…for the lack of a better word, perfect." Alek sounded mystified.

  Eliot hadn't thought he'd ever see a day with Alek stumped by anything. In a sense, seeing it made the agent appear more human.

  Alek went on slowly. "We can't see into the alternate dimension they inhabit. But they seem to be aware of both. It is indeed incredible."

  Eliot blinked. "Does that mean both dimensions are…similar? Like in geography?"

  Alek cocked his head as if the thought had never occurred to him and now it consumed his entire attention. "That…is an intriguing idea."

  Eliot shrugged. He didn't know if that was important, even if it was true. Unless…

  "Oh my God," he exclaimed, startling Alek who studied him suspiciously. "Listen. All this time, we've been wracking our brains trying to figure out what's so important about D.C. and these traffic circles. What if whatever the gas gremlins are really reacting to…isn't here, in our phase? What if they're responding to something on the other side?"

  Alek's eyes widened in shock. "Simultaneous trans-spatial cognition? That'd be a ground-breaking observation." Then his excited expression fell. "But even if that is the case, there is no way for us to verify the hypothesis. And it sure wouldn't help us fix the problem we're having with the gas gremlins."

  Eliot's mood sunk. He hadn't considered that inevitable conclusion. Humans simply could not travel into the other dimension. Not presently anyway. And there were no theories or attempts on the drafting board, so to speak.

  Fuck. Why did things have to be so damn complicated?

  Chapter Ten

  "What did that TLA girl mean when she said that the mythkin come when they're called?" Eliot asked the question as he followed Alek down the hall illuminated at the floor level with yellow lights. Despite the bomb exploding, Alek had decided not to give in to intimidation and had continued the tour anyway. Since Eliot's curiosity had not been fully satisfied, he'd gladly agreed. Alek's attitude made Eliot feel braver too.

  Alek grunted. "It has to do with how the mythkin function. We know that gas gremlins consume carbon dioxide and nitrous oxide and produce both petroleum and, to an extent, natural gas."

  "Yes, I know." Eliot hadn't known it in so much detail, only that they digested exhaust fumes and produced petroleum usable in any form of transportation. But he wasn't going to admit that right now. Not when Alek had finally started speaking to him like an equal.

  "The mythkin form an organic, self-sufficient, cyclical system," Alek went on. "Therefore, once the vehicle has an initial tank of gas, a few drops enough to start the car, the gas gremlin then exhausts the byproducts, thus generating petroleum—and continuously filling the tank with more gas."

  Eliot nodded. "Right. A self-sustaining loop."

  "Yes." Alek strode forward with alarming speed. Perhaps he worried what would befall them next. Eliot tried not to think like that. "No more gas stations, no more oil rigs, no more coal mines. Once we introduce a single mythkin to a machine, they consume whatever is there and produce whatever element is needed. No refinement is necessary."

  Eliot knew the situation was slightly different with renewable energy mythkin. Solar sprites required solar panels and wind wisps appreciated turbines, for example. Heat freaks were strongest in areas with large caches of geothermal energy. And so on. No two were exactly alike in function.

  Eliot sighed. Dirty energy mythkin were similar to each other. Clean energy mythkin were all quirky and different in their own ways, difficult to decipher.

  "I get how you attract fossil fuel mythkin by giving them what they consume," Eliot said. "But I don't know what clean energy mythkin digest. How do you draw them here for study?"

  "Photon faeries have an affinity to lights, so this facility has one grand chamber filled with modified incandescent lights that put out about 52.000 lumens per square meter. For comparison, the sun produces about 98.000 lux."

  Eliot had taken physics in high school but even he had trouble remembering lumens or lux. Whatever they were, it sounded impressive. "That must create a ton of heat," he mused.

  "That's what photon faeries digest, among other things," Alek replied vaguely.

  Eliot gasped. "But most lights these days are energy-saving lamps that recycle heat."

  "True. It's one of the reasons MERF and the public didn't detect photon faeries early on." Alek frowned. "We don't turn the lights on, naturally. The photon faeries do, and the more heat the lamps generate, the more illumination the creatures produce—some with the lamps and others with their bodies. They are, as I'm sure you are aware, some of the most esthetically pleasing mythkin out there."

  Eliot nodded absentmindedly. "I've only caught faint glimpses, but they have lovely wings, don't they?"

  "Yes. Anyway, the photon faeries enjoy the play rooms we have here." Alek gestured toward a doorway with the metal door open, as all doors appeared to be along the corridors since the alarms went off. Eliot assumed it was standard protocol. "See for yourself."

  Besides the door was yet another plaque reading L-02-S. Eliot no longer needed help in deciphering the meaning: the mythkin were based on light and they were safe to touch. He figured the designation didn't include the, uh, mating season, if they had one.

  Eliot peered past the threshold, intrigued as flashes of colorful lights emanated from inside.

  Unlike the water labs, the illumination labor
atory had zero dimness. Everything was visible to the naked eye. Built like an observatory, the massive chamber had a large domed roof that Eliot surmised would retract—which was odd since they were underground. Was there something above them other than rock?

  The walls were lined with open metal shelves filled with scientific instruments, most of it optical equipment like photometers, spectrometers, and interferometers. Eliot recognized merely a handful. Climatology labs had different instrumentation. The shelves spanned the entire length of the round room and comprised of several floors, with metal gangways providing access.

  Like the main lobby, the center of the floor was sunken, with more machinery for research and study. It was like a maze down there, and Eliot could detect narrow corridors disappearing into the shadows. More metal gangways and staircases connected the various floors that seemed to have little space to walk around.

  "Is this the light chamber?" Eliot asked in wonderment as he stepped inside.

  "No." Alek trailed in Eliot's wake, hands behind his back, his gait seemingly at ease. Whatever rush he'd felt earlier appeared to be gone or temporarily stilled. "That's behind this one. Photon faeries come and go as they please between this area and the next."

  Eliot stopped mid-step and looked around eagerly. "Where are they? I can't see any."

  "They act coy," Alek whispered in Eliot's ear as he passed. His breath gently wafted Eliot's hair till goosebumps broke out all over his skin. "In any case, all the lights here are modified LEDs, while in the test chamber they're incandescent light bulbs."

  Eliot harrumphed. "Didn't think they even made those anymore."

  "You'd be surprised what we've been able to salvage and barter." Alek's mystifying retort only gave Eliot additional questions. "There's one."

  Gasping with excitement, Eliot watched where Alek pointed. Since the round chamber was flooded with lights, it took him a few seconds to notice the flickering of rainbow colors in the air as the creature dashed here and there, fast as a hummingbird.

  Despite having four prismatic wings, like a dragonfly, it didn't resemble either them or birds. Its radiant wings fluttered too swiftly to see, except when the photon faerie hovered in place. Then and only then could Eliot see it.

  Translucent, only partially visible, the being had delicate feelers on its head like a snail. It had a graceful head like a peacock, with a thin, sharp beak. Yet it was no fowl. The faerie floated in an upright position, its caterpillar-like body and tail curled like that of a seahorse. Dazzling wings completed the mishmash image.

  "Oh my God, it's stunning," Eliot breathed out. The vision before him didn't seem to note the presence of an observer, or it didn't care. Eliot pulled his shirt away from his heated skin. "It's hot in here."

  "Like I said, photon faeries love heat." Alek gave Eliot a rare treat of his lopsided smile. "I can't even begin to tell you how much they adore infrared saunas. Their wings, antennae, and bodies create the flashing colored lights you saw. Their awareness is across the electromagnetic spectrum, from gamma radiation to low radio frequencies, from infrared to ultraviolet."

  Eliot stepped closer to the photon faerie, replaying Alek's words. Why did the creatures do that? Why produce light and colors if not for machines? Were they…trying to say something? Was it a form of communication?

  Like a cloud drifting on a gentle breeze, the photon faerie glided close to him. It seemed to be entranced by a lamp on a shelf. It darted through solid metal, glass bulbs, and burning filaments. Nothing got in its way.

  Eliot had never seen anything as beautiful. A burr came from it, a low whirring sound and a slight gust of wind. Its rainbow-hued wings flapped, the whip-like snap soft and pleasant to listen, the luminosity fluctuating like a kaleidoscope. There were no scents, though.

  Slowly, not wishing to scare the lovely critter, Eliot extended his hand. He held his breath, his heart thudding loud in anticipation. So close…

  A spark of electricity shocked him, striking his fingertip and spreading through his system, a cascade of power, frissons of weird, otherworldly sensations. It emerged from the photon faerie's wings.

  Yet the creature appeared unaffected and disinterested. Was it even aware of Eliot or that Eliot had touched it? The brush had been the briefest, most fleeting sensation, but real and potent. At least it had been for Eliot.

  The gleam in the photon faerie's wings switched to only gold and green.

  The color of Eliot's hair and eyes.

  Eliot gulped. Was that even possible? Surely not.

  Could the creature be trying to communicate with colors? Or was it all a coincidence or in Eliot's head?

  "How did it feel?" Alek asked out of the blue, startling Eliot out of his meaning of life type of musings.

  "You mean you've never…?" Eliot couldn't imagine working for MERF and never being in such close contact with an alien lifeform. Unless Eliot had done something wrong. No, he must not have. Alek would have stopped him.

  "No." Alek's disinterested tone suggested he had no emotional investment into the matter.

  Eliot, on the other hand, was bursting with elation, passion for adventure, and enthusiasm. "It was amazing. Like touching a live wire. I feel…galvanized. As if the photon faerie upped the voltage inside me."

  "That is unlikely," Alek reminded him with a pedantic, cool voice. "You barely touched it. There was a tiny spark between you two. I saw it. Like static electricity. But nothing more."

  If Alek was right, then why did Eliot feel like he'd taken his first step into an alien world?

  "Buenas noches."

  A woman's voice almost made Eliot jump out of his skin. He wheeled around to see who'd spoken.

  A tiny Latina woman with braided, burgundy-dyed hair, stylish curved eyebrows, and light-brown eyes walked towards them. She had on a lab coat—with debris and traces of rubble over the shoulders. Clearly she'd been caught in the wake of the blast, same as everyone else. Eliot couldn't picture working in such a high-tension environment. Customer service was child's play compared to this!

  "Doctor Mendez, this is Eliot Tate of CEPA. Eliot, meet Doctor Clara Mendez," Alek said by way of introduction. "Her field of specialty is photovoltaic sciences which she studies both here and in Advanced Light Source at Berkeley Labs."

  Eliot shook hands with the short, thin woman who had a surprisingly strong grip. "Sorry if we're in the way. I was getting a tour when…" He couldn't quite finish his sentence.

  Doctor Mendez nodded grimly. "I see. I'll let you get on with it then." She addressed Alek with narrowing eyes. "Please stay out of our way, Agent Saroyan. This is a bad day for tourists."

  Eliot's cheeks burned with shame. He felt quite unwelcome. Clara was not warm or amiable as Alessandra had been. Then again, there had just been an explosion, an attack on their workplace, so perhaps a little hostility was to be expected.

  Alek met Eliot's gaze. "We've seen what we came to see here. We'll be leaving now."

  Eliot smiled politely, if somewhat shakily, at the doctor and hurried after Alek. They didn't stop until they had hustled farther down the hall, away from the light lab.

  There Alek faced him with a mildly concerned look. "I apologize for Doctor Mendez. Her research—"

  "It's alright," Eliot rushed to say, cutting in. "Not like she's wrong."

  Alek rolled his eyes and pursed his lips. "Every damn day in this facility is full of surprises and unexpected occurrences. It's no excuse for her behavior."

  Eliot chuckled. "You mean lack of manners?" He laughed earnestly then. "Like you?"

  Alek straightened up, his eyes flashing. "I may be plainspoken and abrupt at times, but I am nothing if not a consummate professional."

  Eliot couldn't believe the man was so oblivious to his own conduct, sometimes disdainful, other times brusque and dismissive. "Let's just say you need to work on your interpersonal skills. The cold way you speak to people…" Eliot shrugged. "Perhaps you're too used to pure research in a solitary environment. What we're worki
ng on is more than case numbers or statistical anomalies. There's a person behind each problem, and you're not good at dealing with people."

  Alek frowned and blinked. "When have I not exhibited perfect politeness? I'm a gentleman and a government employee. All my interactions—"

  "Lack social graces," Eliot interjected with soft amusement. "There's a difference between being civil and being approachable. You're the former but not so much the latter."

  "I see." Alek's brow smoothed, and an icy, arrogant expression replaced the confusion. "In your professional opinion I am a failure at my job."

  Eliot sighed in frustration. "That's not what I said. Don't put words in my mouth."

  "You know what? This tour is over." Alek whirled around and stormed back toward the lobby.

  Eliot stewed, hands clenched at his sides. Damn, the agent could be so aggravating. Eliot stayed put, waiting for Alek to notice he hadn't followed behind him.

  Instead, Alek vanished behind the corner, seemingly heedless of Eliot's presence. Eliot crossed his arms over his chest, tapped his foot on the ground, prayed for patience, and waited.

  It still took Alek a good two minutes to reappear, a stunned expression on his face.

  "Is the childish temper tantrum over?" Eliot asked, scowling. "You just proved my point. You're smart and a good investigator but your awareness of other people's feelings suck. I don't know if you do it on purpose or if you're simply obtuse."

  Alek had halted after rounding the corner, and he blinked in confusion. Then his features hardened and he returned Eliot's glower. His lips thinned into an angry white line. He seemed to be on the verge of speaking his mind.

  But then he sighed, slumping, and approached Eliot slowly, his step hesitant. "My father's a scientist, and he taught me that dealing with people was less important than knowing how science and the world work."

  Eliot unclenched his hands. That explained a lot about Alek, he thought. He spoke his next words gently, not wanting to rile Alek up now that he'd just calmed down slightly. "Instead of going for the extreme, how about finding a practical balance?"

 

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