The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious or used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events or locales is entirely fictitious, used fictitiously or coincidentally.
Copyright © Vicki Graybosch 2012
All rights reserved
Copyrighted Material
ISBN: 1477655085
ISBN 13: 9781477655085
eBook ISBN: 978-1-62112-703-1
Library of Congress Control Number: 2012910906
CreateSpace, North Charleston, SC
No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photo-copying, recording or otherwise, without express written permission of the author.
Contents
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16
CHAPTER 17
CHAPTER 18
CHAPTER 19
CHAPTER 20
CHAPTER 21
CHAPTER 22
CHAPTER 23
CHAPTER 24
CHAPTER 25
CHAPTER 26
* * *
CHAPTER 1
* * *
We never made it to Hawaii. We didn’t even get to the airport. Teresa and Linda were in the front seat, Teresa driving, and they screamed. Mary and I looked ahead and saw a woman standing right in our lane. Teresa swerved, and then a flash of light…then nothing.
I wasn’t sure where we were. It looked like the Tavern, except there were no walls or floors, and there was a cool, misty feeling to the air. Teresa, Linda, and Mary were all sitting on their regular stools, just looking at each other. It was like coming out of a fainting spell.
There was a beautiful older woman standing on the other side of the bar smiling at us. It looked like she was wearing one of Carol’s costumes, Roman Goddess. (Carol is our regular bartender, who likes to dress up). She spoke to us in a soft, slow, calming voice, with perfect diction, and each word we knew to be the absolute Truth. She paused at the end of each sentence, (which I appreciated) before she continued.
“You have died in a horrific car accident on the way to the Airport. Grief Angels have been assigned to your loved ones and will remain with them as long as needed.” It took me a minute to digest what she had said. I’m dead? Now I am thinking, why am I not freaking out? I looked at the other gals and I could tell they were thinking the same thing. We all had puzzled expressions as we looked back at the lady. I really should have bought that hearing aid.
“You will continue to have some mortal thoughts and skills while you are in the Transition Phase of Orientation. I will be communicating with you at a level I feel you will understand. The mortal emotion of grief is gone, and has been replaced with a very basic understanding skill. This is to assist you in moving forward in the process. I am your Orientation Guide and you may call me Granny.”
Okay. In mortal life none of my relatives looked like ‘Granny.’
“At this time there is a scheduling issue with the previous group of Orientation Angels. So for the time being you are all stuck. Which means your mortal mind will be interfering with your spiritual mind on occasion. You knew in your mortal lives that less than ten percent of the mortal mind is used?” We all nodded slowly. “Welcome to the other ninety percent! Your mortal mind and your spiritual mind are with you for eternity,” Then she smiled, “I have decided that since you died together, in order to expedite our process, you will complete orientation as a group.”
Granny stopped talking and just looked at us. She was still smiling and I chuckled. This is some freakin’ dream. Then she looked right at me and said, “This is not a dream.” Oh shit.
She continued, “Angels are continually evolving, and as you evolve you will acquire the skills needed for your assignments. The influences of your mortal mind will mean that individually, you may notice changes that have not necessarily affected the others in the group. You are not to be alarmed by this if your mortal fear emotion is still present. I will take questions at this time.”
Teresa slowly raised her hand and Granny gestured for her to speak. “Are we in Heaven?”
“Almost.” Almost?
Linda raised her hand and Granny gestured her to speak. “Can we flunk this Orientation thing and go to hell? I don’t test well,” she looked pretty worried. Actually we were all interested in that answer.
“You can’t flunk. The decision has been made that you all belong here.”
Wow! I must have skated that one close! Granny looked at me. Hmmmm.
Mary raised her hand, and Granny gestured for her to speak. “I am not clear about why we are doing Orientation as a group.”
I couldn’t believe that was her question. Really? That is your biggest issue right now? Granny looked at me again. Uh oh, I think she reads minds. Granny said, “I do.”
She looked at Mary, “To answer your question, it was found that each of you possess very strong character traits that complement each other. You will face challenges that other classes have not had because you still retain many mortal thoughts. Our circumstances have created this issue of you being stuck, but we feel we can utilize this as a benefit. Most certainly we expect an ‘interesting’ transition for your group.”
I really tried hard to not let my mind think, but the word ‘interesting’ has seldom played out well for me. I tried to glance quickly at Granny, and yup, she was looking at me. Shit.
I thought better of asking a question, and Granny continued, “I am handing each of you a class schedule for the Transition College. You must select, as a group, which class appeals to you the most. Once you have made your selection you will only communicate with me in cases of need. I have been assigned to you and will always assist you when called upon. However, your requests may delay your progress if deemed excessive or unnecessary. I encourage you to utilize the skills of the others in your group.”
The schedules she handed us looked like menus at the bar. It struck me that a great deal was being done to make us feel comfortable. “I am needed elsewhere for a moment. Take this time to talk, and I will return.” She smiled and she was gone. I mean GONE.
I think from the looks on our faces it was a pretty sure thing we still had our mortal emotion of shock.
“What the—,” I started to say, Mary and Linda looked like they were going to jump me and kill me! Except I guess I am already dead.
“You can’t curse in Heaven!” Mary yelled. I think Teresa had my back, but I wasn’t sure.
Linda did her famous “Tst,Tst.Tst!” to shut me up.
Mary put her head in her hands on the bar, and I’m sure she said, “I can’t believe I’m stuck outside of heaven with Vicki!”
“Heyyyyyyyyyy!” I didn’t see any reason to get nasty. “I think you need to work on your mortal anger issues.”
At that, we all started laughing. How sick is this? Teresa decided to take control, “Okay you guys, we have to pick a class.”
We all slowly opened our menus and began to read. It was really put together quite well. Each class had a descr
iption of skill development requirements, including but not limited to, estimated completion times. Some of the classes sounded like a strange version of Phys Ed. “Understanding and Controlling Your Mass.” Hmmmmm. “The Art and Science of Mortal Mingling.” I never did get that. “Utilizing the Spiritual Mind.” Sounds hard. “Helping Mortals Do Good.” Ehhhh maybe. “Defending Good.” Eeeks no! That will be what Teresa wants. Ninja Angel. Ugh.
“Well, I know what I want,” I said as I closed the menu and laid it on the bar. They all looked at me. “Let’s do the diet thing.”
“What diet thing?” Teresa asked as she looked at her menu again.
“Controlling Your Mass,” I answered.
“Oh god we’re doomed,” Mary went down on the bar again.
Linda spoke up, “I think we could do the ‘Helping Mortals Do Good’. That sounds like something angels should do, and look it offers the most points of all of the classes!” Teresa was nodding her approval.
Mary surfaced again her white hair all ruffled, “Yeah, that works for me.”
I had to say it, “Have you noticed we all look the same? I mean, I guess I thought in heaven at least I would be skinny and young again. And we’re wearing yesterday’s clothes. Do we get hungry? Can we eat? Can we …poop?”
Linda started laughing so hard she took her glasses off and was wiping her eyes, “You want to ask that when she comes back? Can we poop? Oh God.”
“I think we should stop saying that.” This was Teresa, “The ‘Oh God’ thing,” as she looked around.
“Hey! News flash guys, Granny can read minds!” This was me.
Mary slowly turned to look at me, “And you know this how?”
Out of the corner of my eye I could see that Granny was back. She made a throat clearing sound and said, “As I mentioned before, we expect this group to be interesting.”
Granny looked at me and said, “You would like to know if you can poop?” I didn’t have a chance to answer when she said, “That is a very good question for you to ask. It shows you are forward thinking.” Try not to think, try not to think. “You no longer have mortal body requirements, but you may enjoy the pleasures of aromas during your transition. If you feel hungry we have an entire aroma system designed where anything you imagine you want to eat, you will smell, and feel totally satisfied.”
Wow, the capital opportunities of this little gem! Granny’s eyebrow went up. Oops, I can’t help myself.
“I know,” Granny said looking at me. Mary looked over, and I gestured to her. “SEE? She read my mind!”
Granny collected our menus from us and stated, “Since you have selected the class, ‘Helping Mortals Do Good,’ I would like to introduce you to your Education Guide.” At that moment a short, older woman appeared next to Granny. Her resemblance to Betty White, the actress, was uncanny! I looked at Teresa and wondered if she thought the same thing I did. Evidently so, the three of them all had their jaws dropped and their eyes bugging out.
The short angel spoke and sounded like Betty White. “No girls, Betty White is still mortal. However, we are looking forward to her joining us some day with much anticipation. We selected her image as being comforting for your mortal minds at this time. You may call me Betty.” She giggled. I elbowed Mary.
“As you evolve, you will eventually be able to manifest your spirit into any image imaginable to serve your purpose. My assignment is to assist you through your basic educational requirements in order for you to successfully complete your training and accomplish your first assignment.” Then she tilted her head from side to side a couple of times and gave us that big Betty White smile.
With that, she made a wide gesture with her arm toward the far end of the bar and said, “Go through that door to enter the Transition College.”
She was pointing to the door that in mortal life went into the ladies room. Single file we all sort of floated there. I looked at Linda who seemed to be trying to see her feet in the now foggy room, and Teresa was moving her arms like she thought we were swimming. Mary was hanging on to the back of my sweater and moaning. I hope for Betty’s sake that one of the ‘angel’ skills she has mastered is patience.
* * *
CHAPTER 2
* * *
Somehow Betty beat me to the door and pushed it open. Wow, what a beautiful campus! Lush green lawns, tall stately buildings, and…what the heck? Millions of mayflies? Everywhere! Betty started to giggle, “Oh boy, you gals are going to be fun! Let’s see, how do I put this? You see mayflies.” She giggled again. “That is actually pretty good, yup, good one.” She slapped her knee. “Ahem, okay.”
About now I was thinking that I had a much different vision of Heaven when I was mortal, and it didn’t include bugs!
“You see mayflies. I see thousands of spirit energies from the previous Orientation Class. One of the classes required in the process is, “Utilizing the Spiritual Mind.” Do you remember seeing that class option?” We all nodded. “Well, one of the goals of that class is to eliminate unnecessary memories, and free that space for additional spiritual mind. Makes sense, right?”
We all nodded, even though we had no clue what she was talking about. “Your mayflies, on earth, live their whole life in one day, don’t they? Your mortal mind is trying to make sense of the energy it sees here, and mayflies are your vision. The process of eliminating memories seems to trigger a type of panic unique to the mortal. They just don’t want to let go! This particular class, either as a whole or because of an individual, is not ready to condense. That panic and confusion this class is experiencing, on earth would probably look like a mass of mayflies. To protect all of you from this negative energy, we have to process your group separately.” She giggled again.
I had a great idea, “Can’t you just explain to them that their memories are still there, just on a zip drive?”
“But that would be lying.” Betty said as she looked at me.
“Yeah, but if it gets the job done….?” Betty frowned. Okaaay. I guess you don’t lie in almost Heaven. This is going to be very limiting for me.
Betty continued, “The previous class will be fine, and eventually their spirit minds will sooth any feelings of panic and fear. In the meantime, we have devised an alternative process for newcomers.” With that she smiled at all of us and motioned for us to follow her. “Mayflies,” I heard her mumble under her breath.
Betty now sat on a bench near the little creek that appeared from nowhere and motioned for us to join her on the other benches that appeared from nowhere. “Let’s take a moment to gather your thoughts.” She was smiling in such a way I thought she was going to burst out laughing any minute. I liked her. She seemed real. “I bet you are all wondering why you see mayflies too, since this is Vicki’s little vision?” Everyone was nodding. Mary was trying to carefully keep the mayflies from landing on her. “You are going to ‘share’ some traits from each other, like imagination.”
Linda looked at me and said, “Uh oh.”
Teresa piped up, “How can we tell if what we are seeing is real or one of our imaginations?” as she turned her head and looked at me. I am starting to get a little ticked off.
Betty laughed, “That is what is going to be so fun about this group!” She slapped her knee again. “It’s all REAL. If you can think it, it is real. You have always had your own perceptions of everything! That doesn’t mean someone else’s wasn’t real. The only difference now is that you share. Whoever has the strongest imagination wins!” Ha! I seemed to be the only one happy with that answer.
“What I would like to do, since you are a group, is take you to the classroom where we help you discover the most efficient ways to travel. You will not only need to navigate your way around campus, but because you have selected ‘Helping Mortals do Good’, we have to teach you how to navigate between the ‘planes of understanding’ with mortals. Have you all seen how athletes will put a hand out and another will top that with his hand, etc., etc.? We all nodded. “Well, let’s do that rig
ht now.” We all stretched out our hands, layering them on top of each other, and Betty landed on the top. “Okay, you have now been implanted with our version of a GPS device, so you can be located in case I lose you.” Lose us? We all looked at our hands. There was a slight bluish dot that was illuminating through the skin. Cool.
“These devices also connect you to each other, allowing you to transfer skills among yourselves when needed. A training example of this would be maybe Linda was having some trouble navigating flying at high speed. In order for the class to progress, as a group, you could ‘boost’ her into keeping up, until it felt natural to her.” We all looked at Mary. We knew she would be the cautious one of the group.
Mary spoke, “Can we get hurt in this training?”
Betty chuckled and looked at her, “You are already dead, dear.” Mary shrugged. That seemed to satisfy her. I wasn’t completely sold yet. I had visions of having to turn left. Flying yet. In mortal life, driving, I wouldn’t turn left unless there was a traffic light. It took a while to get to some places.
“Well, what do you say we get started?” We all nodded. “Stand up and think about moving to that building over there.” She pointed to a large stone building about a block in front of us. “Hello? What’s taking you so long?” I looked and she was standing in front of the door of that building. Wow, spry little thing isn’t she? I felt myself moving forward. Then stop. Then lurch forward. Then stop. I was stopped. “THINK about getting here!” she yelled.
WHOA! I was right next to her! In a Nanosecond! Mary was screaming, coming at us sideways at 90 miles per hour. Linda and Teresa were holding on to each other’s arms, and it looked like they were being dragged to us with an invisible rope. Betty looked at me once we were all at the door and said “Let me have your hand.” Huh? Is she taking away my GPS? “I am just adjusting your settings to decrease your influence on the others.” She smiled. “Your mortal mind gave up control of travel years ago, so your Spiritual mind has no resistance. We just have to tone you down, dear.” Teresa stuck her tongue out at me. Well! I think I was just insulted by an Angel.
Alcohol Was Not Involved : A Shallow End Gals Trilogy Page 1