My oxygen deprived brain wandered among the delirious thoughts of fire and leeches, and then to my little brother. I saw the look on his face when he had an attack; fierce and focused. The way his chest rose and fell in rapid bursts while he waited for the medicine to relieve the pressure in his lungs. Beans had suffered countless asthma attacks over the years and he handled each one calmly and with incomprehensible bravery, as if that were the only option. It was the most helpless feeling in the world seeing him struggle like that, knowing there was nothing I could do. I had seen it happen so many times that the imagery was seared into my memory, a video on constant playback.
A tiny hand clenched around a bright yellow inhaler.
The rattling sound in his chest as air slowly scraped past his lips.
The pulsing blue of his wire-thin veins as they bulged beneath his pale skin. His mussed, blond locks glued to his face by sweat and the tears. Quivering lips and chubby little cheeks that puffed with each shaky breath.
Find the beat, Lucas, Dad would whisper as he patted out a slow rhythm on my little brother’s chest. Worry lines dug trenches at my father’s eyes, but he never betrayed the steady calm of his voice as he whispered against that little cheek. Focus only on your breath, on the air around you. Let it in, son and then set it free…Again. Will yourself to be calm. Decide to be brave.
For a moment, I let go of this terrifying reality and it felt good. I focused, instead, on that single memory as if it were the only source of light in a darkened room. I grabbed onto the sound of my father’s voice with both hands and pulled it to me, absorbing his calm. Feeding on his unwavering strength.
You are worth more than combined total of your fears. I heard his voice in my head trailing off. The scene before me faded to black, taking Beans and my father with it.
“Don’t leave me,” I heard myself say.
As quickly as the space between two breaths, my father reappeared. His wavy brown hair was shaved close to the scalp, his tall frame clad in a nondescript military-style uniform. He stood there before me, as motionless as an antique photograph, faded like a black and white movie— except for his eyes. They glowed back at me like the sun reflecting off the ocean’s surface, matching my own in mirrored blue clarity. He spoke, but his mouth did not move. His face did not change.
I’m here, baby girl.
His voice echoed in my mind. Still he did not move. I reached out to him, but my hand passed right through him like mist. I stared down at it in shock and then slowly met my father’s gaze as he spoke.
I need you to listen to me. I know this is confusing and you have a million questions, but I promise you salvation is the answer to all of them.
“I don’t understand,” I said, pleading with him. “What does that mean?”
You have to go now, his voice urged, though the specter’s face was impassive. Please, Liv, you are running out of time.
“I don’t think I can do this,” I whispered. “I’m so scared.”
You can, and you will, the specter said.
“But—,” I began, tears running freely down my cheeks.
That’s enough, Olivia, he said in a steady voice. You only lose control, when you choose to give it up. Regret…fear…pain? They are nothing more than vicious parasites, do you hear me? Parasites cannot survive without a host. As long as you stay strong and you continue to fight, those things will never have power over you.
“But, I don’t feel strong, Dad,” I confessed, wishing I could wrap my arms around him, or at least see him smile at me again.
The strongest among us, rarely do, Liv. He sounded almost proud. Now, breathe baby girl, and gather your courage. The road to salvation is paved with the blood of the weak.
And then he was gone, nothing but darkness in his place.
“Liv, please,” I heard Zander say, and my eyes shot open to a mass of fuzzy blue light spinning dizzily over my head.
“Oh, thank God,” Riley sobbed, her hand still clutching mine. “What the hell was that? You scared the shit out of me, Liv!”
I tried to speak, but the words refused me. My head spun backward, and my throat still burned with ash and smoke. I squeezed my eyes tight, willing myself to focus only on my breathing as the ground spun beneath my feet.
“We need to keep moving,” Eli said, his voice thick with fear.
“I’ve got her,” Zander said, his voice soft against my neck.
I felt my legs go out from under me as my body fell into a natural embrace against Zander’s chest. I bounced softly in his arms, breathing in the scent of him as we moved. His muscles flexed and rolled against my skin, sending a small jolt of electricity into my body from each and every place his skin touched mine.
Slowly, my shaky breaths grew more regular, dousing the flames that burned within my chest. With each hungry gulp, my strength and presence of mind returned. The ringing in my ears began to fade, giving way to the worried mutterings of those around me. My father’s voice had gone silent, but it had left behind a warmth that tickled at the recesses of my mind. My eyes fluttered open, my vision cleared and the world stopped spinning.
“Zan.” My voice scraped out, barely above a whisper. I slid my hand up his chest and threaded my fingers into his hair. “Zander.”
“Guys, she’s awake,” he said, his eyes raking over my face. His chest rose and fell in rhythm with mine.
“Seriously, Liv.” Riley appeared instantly at his side, her eyes boring into me like lasers. “I thought we agreed you were going to stop doing shit like that. You’re killin’ me.”
“Put me down, please,” I said, patting Zander’s chest. “I can walk.”
“Liv, are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, lowering me carefully to my feet. He gently smoothed my sweat-soaked hair away from my face. “You had me worried, there.”
“I— yeah,” I said, trying to steady my voice. “I mean I am just a little dizzy, is all.”
“Still,” Zander said. “Maybe we should rest for a little while, you know, give you some time to—”
“I’m fine,” I said, defiantly squaring my shoulders. “I just needed to catch my breath.”
“You are not fine, Liv,” Zander said, throwing up his hands. “Eli thinks you had a seizure.”
“For Christ’s sakes, we don’t have time for this. Move over Romeo,” Eli said, shoving Zander aside. He pulled a small pen light from his pocket and clicked it on. “Okay, kid, follow the light with your eyes for me.”
I did as he asked, tracing the tiny pin-prick of ultra-white light as it slid across my field of vision. After a few trips back and forth, Eli seemed satisfied that I wasn’t going to stroke out. He clicked off the light, shoved it back in his bag.
“Oddly, her pupils are equal and reactive and her ocular reflexes are better than perfect,” he said, sounding confused. “I want take a closer look later, but for now, she seems to be just fine.”
“See, I’m fine,” I croaked, trying not to wobble as I pulled away. “Now, can we get moving? We are wasting time we don’t have.”
“She’s right,” Eli said, clutching his bloody shoulder. “We need to go.”
“Liv,” Zander pressed. “Maybe we should—.”
“I. Am. Fine,” I said, feeling my face heat. “I am going. Either move your asses or find your own way in the dark.”
I spun on my heel, pausing for just a moment to give my head time to stop spinning before stepping out into the darkness. Riley was the first to follow and I felt her hook onto my belt loop as I stalked off. Zander muttered under his breath, but he and Eli were quick to catch up. I was angry and frustrated by his coddling, so I refused to look back at him. I kept my eyes, and my feet, moving forward.
After days of seeing our world empty of life, it still took my breath away. Virtually no plant life had survived the initial flare, so the ground lay naked and crevassed. A tiny pink bicycle sat abandoned on the sidewalk directly ahead. Its frilly pink and purple tassels had melted into an amorphous glob of char
red plastic that now dangled precariously from one the handlebars. The little tires were shredded to oblivion. The bare metal rims caught the light of a nearby fire throwing flecks of light across the sidewalk. The back wheel squeaked eerily as it rocked back and forth in the warm breeze. I tossed the little bike into the closest yard. It landed in a heap, next to a bright yellow Tonka truck loaded to the rim with rocks. I sighed inwardly, noticing the big red 0/4 painted on the front door. None of them had made it.
At first, I averted my gaze away from the numbers painted on each house but reality has a way of wedging itself into your mind. Eventually, I found myself keeping track and after four blocks, I had counted a total of two survivors.
Two.
“How much farther?” Eli grunted. His pace had continued to slow as the blocks stretched on.
“About five more minutes,” I said over my shoulder.
The blaze at the hospital had grown and the orange glow could still be seen above the barren treetops from ten blocks away. Though muffled by distance, we could still hear gunfire and chaos at our backs. We kept low to the ground, weaving our way through yards and alleyways, avoiding the streets and sidewalks. I didn’t think we were being followed, but I wasn’t willing to taking any chances.
“How is it that you are able to see right now?” Eli asked, stumbling up to my side.
“I guess I’m just special,” I said shortly. I kept my eyes straight ahead as we tiptoed through an empty backyard.
“You mean like Mr. Adaptive back there with the hand of Thor? No, uh-uh. There’s more to it,” he said, tripping over the raised edging of an empty sandbox. When he gained his footing again, he grabbed onto my upper arm for support. “I can barely see my hand in front of my face, and I have tripped over my own feet more times than I can count. Yet, here you are, dancing in the darkness like it’s noon on a Tuesday.”
“Maybe you need glasses,” I said, rolling my eyes, though I knew he wouldn’t see.
“Joke all you want, kid, but something isn’t right here. None of this adds up.” His tone sounded accusatory, and shamelessly so. “Never mind the fact that you apparently have some kind of superhuman vision. You had a grand mal seizure less than twenty minutes ago, an episode which you recovered almost instantly from, might I add, and yet you show almost no residual effects.”
“So?” I picked up my pace, hoping he would fall behind.
“So, what aren’t you telling me?” Eli doubled his efforts to keep up.
“You know what, Eli, you’re right,” I said, turning to him. “There is something I wanted to tell you.”
“Yeah?” He looked hopeful. “What’s that?”
“Watch your step,” I said, laughing as he stumbled over a raised edge in the sidewalk.
As soon as he recovered his balance, Eli dropped back in step behind Riley, grumbling under his breath as he stewed on my lack of willingness to submit to interrogation. I was sure there were a lot more questions to come and I even had a few of my own, but now was neither the time nor the place.
“Finally,” I said, breathing a sigh of relief as we crested the hill and saw the tattered old Clinco sign.
“Thank God,” Riley groaned, leaning forward as she picked up the pace.
We practically sprinted down the hill, ducking what was left of the battered chain link gate as we rounded the back corner of the building. As soon as I saw the truck, I took off at a dead run. Bella had wedged her long snout out through the small gap we had left in the window. She sniffed anxiously at the air, whimpering between breaths. As soon as she caught my scent, she started barking, trying to shove more of herself through the opening.
“She is going to be so pissed at me,” I laughed.
“Who is—?” Eli began, but I had already yanked open the driver’s side door.
Bella leaped from the seat of the truck, landing awkwardly in my arms. I lowered her shaking body to the ground, dropping to my knees to rustle her fur while her swishing tail slapped against me like a whip. She sniffed at me frantically as if to make sure every piece of me was intact, as she whimpered and flailed about in my arms,
“I’m okay, girl,” I muttered, scratching under her chin, as I slowly rose to my feet. “Oh, right. Eli, this is—.”
“Isabella?” Eli’s face lit up as Bella loped toward him. She rose up onto her hind legs, pressed her paw to his chest and he buried his face against hers. “Oh, sweet girl. I thought I’d never see you again!”
“What the hell—?” I shrieked.
I closed in on him with murder in my eyes, but a thunderous explosion stopped me in my tracks and sent me flying through the air.
Chapter 41
Rendezvous and Rally
We were at least a mile away from the detonation, but the shockwave from the blast at the hospital had been so massive it had knocked us all off our feet. I landed on my side five yards from where my feet had left the ground. Zander and Riley were thrown against the side of the truck, where they slumped to the ground like a couple of rag dolls. Eli was propelled forward, releasing Bella as he hurtled to the ground a few feet away from me. Despite her missing limb, the dog had hit the ground running and dove for shelter beneath the truck’s wide axle.
I hit the ground with enough force to rock my bones inside my body, my jaw clamping hard enough that a molar cracked inside my mouth. Once again, my ears were ringing, and it felt as though my brain was banging around against the inside of my skull. Every inch of my body screamed. I rolled to my stomach blinking away tears and slowly peeled myself up off the shattered pavement. Pain sliced its way up my spine, taking my breath away as a warm liquid began pooling in my right ear.
The skin that stretched from my shoulder to my elbow was shredded, with fragments of pea gravel and dirt embedded in the torn flesh. Based on the blood currently saturating my sock, the cargo shorts had done little to protect the exposed skin on my leg. I chose not to look too closely at it; out of sight, out of mind, right?
I spit the broken half of my tooth onto the ground and wiped the blood from my chin as limped over to the truck. Between the pressure in my head and taste of blood in my mouth, it was all I could do to keep myself from throwing up.
“Riley!” I yelled, lowering myself to the ground at her feet.
She was conscious but dazed, her glazed eyes staring past me in confusion. Her back was against the front tire of the truck, her legs stretched out in front of her. She held her hands over her ears, opening and closing her mouth, as if to pop them. Blood ran from one side of her nose and the side of her face was a bit scraped up but, aside from the shock she was experiencing, Riley seemed okay. She waved me off and wiped at the blood with the bottom of her shirt, directing me over to Zander.
Zander lay flat on his back, his knees bent and his black arm draped over his face. Bella had slowly inched her way over to him. She was crouched at his side, nudging at his shoulder with her nose. She looked up at me, her brown eyes pleading as I placed my hand on Zander’s stomach. He lowered his arm, his eyes locking on mine.
“Are you okay?” I asked as he gently squeezed my hand.
He pointed to his ears and shook his head. I helped him wrestle into a seated position, where he let his head fall back against the door of the truck. Pain distorted his features as he yanked his limp arm into his lap and climbed shakily to his feet. His armed dropped to his side, useless and very dislocated. He picked it up in his other hand and held it against his chest as Eli hobbled over to the truck.
Eli’s arm was bleeding profusely now, but he seemed unfazed by it at the moment. He reached down to coax Bella the rest of the way out from under the truck and she immediately hopped to his side. She nuzzled into his hand and looked up at me as she leaned against his leg affectionately. I glared at him, my mind racing with questions—questions that I was well aware would have to wait.
I motioned for the guys to get in the truck and then helped a very woozy Riley into the passenger seat. Like Hell’s first snowfall, ash and f
laming debris began drifting softly to the ground. I had no idea the fall-out from the explosion would reach this far, but I didn’t want to stick around to see what came next. I climbed up into the cab of the truck and wiggled into the driver’s seat, instantly grateful for the hours my father had spent forcing me to learn how to drive stick.
You never know when it will come in handy, Liv, he had said as I whined and complained my way through his lessons.
“Thanks again, Dad,” I muttered as I turned the key and felt the engine roar to life.
I killed it a few times but eventually I managed to get her up and running. My knuckles were white against the black steering wheel as I pulled out of the abandoned lot. Pieces of flaming debris lay scattered across the rooftops and yards of homes that had been previously untouched by fire. Empty cars and downed electric poles littered the streets and alleyways, making it more difficult than anticipated to maneuver the rig through town. After what seemed like hours and a five-mile slalom-style detour later, we finally made it to the highway and headed toward the old vet clinic. Bella spent the entire drive shifting back and forth between the two windows. She would poke her snout out into the night air, sniffing and snorting as her ears flopped clumsily in the wind.
The ringing in my ears had finally started to wane. I could just make out the sound of Bella growling low in her chest as we pulled into a handicap parking space near the rear entrance of the abandoned vet’s office. The entire ride had been spent in perfect silence. Not only were each of us suffering the after effects of eardrum damage, but from shock caused by the hospital blast. Aside from the glow of the moon on the big windows out front, the building was completely dark.
Killshot (Icarus Series Book 1) Page 41