Often, Jessie caught him watching her – and occasionally Dee watched her, too, in fact. She knew they were curious about her, but she was unwilling to open Pandora’s Box. As time went by, they did better, but now she could see Charles was intent on breaking her down, a little. He wanted her to talk, to share her feelings about doing the part for Jon, rather than just make a decision and stick to it without explanation, like she usually did. She decided to humor him a little, and buy herself some time in the meantime.
Jessie took her feet off the desk. One at a time the strange little upside down happy faces disappeared back onto the floor where they belonged. The finger stopped creating ringlets, although a sort of half one loosely remained, a reminder of Jessie’s anxiety after it passed.
“If I did Drifters I could at least still stay in Van for a while,” she said. “I was thinking about taking the Ridley Scott film, but it’s shooting in LA. I kind of want to be home for a few months. I’m not up for the craziness of Cali right now.” She looked up at Charles, imploring. “Besides, I won’t have to be on set all the time, and I could use some time to do some songwriting and recording.”
She got up from the desk and turned towards the window. With her back to Charles, she watched the miniature people traversing up and down Robson Street, far below. It was a grey, rainy day, and the umbrellas were out in force. It always struck her as odd, the sight of so many umbrellas moving powerlessly – seemingly – from a bird’s eye view so high above. As if the people under them had no control over where they were going, over the directions of their lives.
Jessie turned back to Charles. “I haven’t fully decided yet, though. I think…” She pursed her lips, thoughtfully, and back went the finger to the ringlet. “I think I’d like to take a ride out to the set, to have a closer look. Aren’t they re-shooting some scenes or something?”
She hoped it appeared this idea came out of left field, and that she just came up with it. But the truth was she’d wanted to visit the set from the get-go, pretty much from that first reading of the script at La Casa. And the reason why? To get some kind of vibe from Josh – working with him so closely would be a big deal, whether she was imagining some kind of connection with him or not. The vibe had to work – it had to be genuine, easy and real. Drifters was hard core, designed for a mature HBO audience, not for CBC’s fluffy Sunday night Family Hour. There would be some touching, and groping, and groping and touching…Jessie shivered and, after Charles left the office to make the arrangements, she fell into her big chair and collapsed her head on the desk.
“Dear God, give me strength,” was the muffled sound that emerged as a finger found a stray piece of hair and another temporary ringlet was born. On the dark cherry stained floor, Jessie’s toes were turned inwards, and the smiley faces appeared to be grinning at each other.
***
On the day of the set visit, Jonathon gathered his cast and crew together at base camp. Stephen and Sue-Lyn perched on the top rail of the corral while Carter, Maggie and Josh lounged casually alongside. Apprehensive, the curious cast and assembled crew waited to hear what their boss had to say.
“We’ve got a visitor coming to set this morning,” the Executive Producer announced triumphantly. “This shouldn’t be a surprise to any of you. All of you know we’re casting a new female lead. I’m asking you to be on your best behavior and welcome this gal with open arms. That’s all.” He ran a hand through his snowy white hair and stared hard at Josh before turning on his heel and stomping off towards the craft truck, an Assistant Director trotting along at his side firing questions and writing responses on a metal clipboard.
“And there before us walks a true master of conversation,” muttered Steve, jumping off the fence as he watched Jonathon disappear into the craft services truck.
“He sure doesn’t mince words,” Sue-Lyn echoed.
Everyone had been briefed on the HBO deal and scenes were being re-shot. Revised rainbow colored scripts were in everybody’s hands – the colored pages reflecting the changes as well as the dates of each revision – and, for the last few weeks, the cast and crew were all wondering who their ‘Kate’ would turn out to be. Not one of them, and especially not Josh, even had Jessie cross their mind. It was rumored she was taking the Ridley Scott film, anyway, and it was going to camera in two weeks.
“So who is our new mystery girl gonna be?” questioned Maggie.
“Doesn’t matter, it’s not like any of us have a say.” Steve was frowning, his arms crossed.
Maggie responded optimistically, “At least today’s the day, we’ll soon know. No more guessing.”
“Hey, as long as she’s hot, I don’t give a shit who she is,” Carter tossed in as he hoisted Sue-Lyn down off the top rail.
Lightening up, Steve clapped him hard on the shoulder with a laugh. “That’s the spirit, my man!” He turned to Josh. “Don’t look so glum, Sawyer. Whoever she is, she’s bound to be stunning. Look at these two hot babes!”
“Oh lay off, Steve!” Sue-Lyn hollered. “You’re not getting any of this.” She gestured towards her own small body.
Maggie rolled her eyes and slipped an arm around Josh’s waist as the group made their way towards the little grouping of cast trailers across from the corral. “Honey, Steve’s right. Whoever your Kate is, she’ll be great. Deirdre Keating has a discerning eye. She’s great at casting. She chose us, right? She’ll find someone professional and experienced.”
From behind them came Steve’s jolly voice. “With a body that won’t quit. You’ll just have to service her every now and again to keep her happy. Oops, I take that back. Carter’ll have to service her. We wouldn’t want you to scare her away.”
“What on God’s green earth does Sophie see in you, Steve?” Sue-Lyn dodged away from Steve’s flailing arm.
Josh couldn’t help but grin. But they were all a little tense. In a short time they had already become a pretty tight extended family unit. A new personality on set – and rumor had it they could expect a higher-level star – would change the dynamic. Worse, many of the female actors in Vancouver had weird prima donna hang-ups and took exaggerated rides on the monthly hormonal roller coaster. It would be like winning the proverbial lottery to find someone they would all consider sane.
By the time Deirdre climbed in Jessie’s car to accompany her to set, the cast and crew of Drifters were all busy, off in their own corners shooting or prepping to shoot. Jessie piloted herself and Dee out to Langley in the candy apple red 1966 Mustang ragtop she bought with her first paycheck from her first film, the rom com she shot with Charlie years ago. She pulled into the dusty parking lot of the Drifters set just as Dee was about to beg her to put up the top. Jessie was a good driver – Sandy taught her in Charleston, so she had no problem handling city traffic – but it was a gusty day in the Fraser Valley, and Dee was getting tired of raising her voice in conversation. Also, her visit to the hairdresser’s earlier that morning was a bit of a ‘rabbit caught in a trap’ deal now. She had to face the facts – her hair was toast.
Jessie smiled when she looked over at her. She reached up and turned the rearview mirror around so Dee could try to sort her hair with her fingers. Finally Dee gave up and, like the good sport she almost always was, she shrugged and got out of the car. But she couldn’t resist a little dig at Jessie.
“You have a lovely climate controlled BMW SUV. Why do you insist on driving a little old tin can?”
Nervous but happy, Jessie looped her arm through Dee’s.
“I drive it because I like it, Dee. It’s cool.” She flipped around and walked backwards, eyeing the shiny classic red Mustang with approval. “Look at her. She’s drop dead gorgeous!”
As they headed towards the gate, she beamed. It was a gorgeous early fall day in Langley, and they’d enjoyed a glorious drive through a plethora of multi-colored trees with sunburst leaves of reds, oranges, russet browns. To Jessie, they were absolutely magnificent, and just another reason to stay in Van for a while, in a
place where the seasons changed. In truth, Jessie felt quite blessed to be living in Vancouver, the ‘hippie city’ on the west coast of one of the world’s greatest free countries. A drive like today echoed that sentiment, further cementing her desire to be a part of Jon’s show. The sky was a lovely saturated cobalt blue, the leaves like canvases of splendid color placed along the streets like earthy visual art left by angels for the entertainment and comfort of humans, and now they’d arrived on a dusty film set that felt like a walk back in time with its split rail fences, big old cozy barn shingled and sided with cedar shakes, and horse being trained in a corral nearby.
“Hmm,” Jessie mused as she pondered the black stallion rearing terrifyingly up before her like some massive angry behemoth asserting its place in the world. “Hope I don’t have to ride that one.”
Dee halted and looked over. “Heavens,” she agreed. “I hope not too, Jessie.” Then, picking up her pace again, she smiled and shrugged in her famous Deirdre Keating ‘let’s blow this one off’ manner. “Well, if you do, I’ll just make sure I get a rider added on to your life insurance.”
Behind her, Jessie faked shock and surprise. “Dee! Is that all you care about? Money?”
As Dee was approached by the AD Jonathon had instructed to meet them upon arrival, Jessie realized there were two men in the corral with the stallion. One was obviously some sort of trainer, and the other was Josh, clad in a dusty, dirty white T-shirt with linen pants that were likely part of his costume as Billy; these were torn and ragged at the hem where they hung over a pair of old brown leather boots and dragged on the ground. She noticed he also had suspenders hanging down loosely over his hips. He hadn’t noticed her, as he was rather preoccupied with the training he seemed to be receiving from a short, stocky man who she surmised was a technical advisor on the series.
She scooted over behind Dee and accepted a welcome handshake from the AD – Pier, a young, slim, affable fellow in knee length checked shorts and a long-sleeved plain black T-shirt – then, as Dee and Pier chatted, Jessie surreptitiously snuck another look at the corral.
Stephen was nearby, watching as Josh used a rope to circle the bucking horse around him. Sue-Lyn, Carter and Maggie were nowhere to be seen, so Jessie assumed they were either on set shooting, in their trailers across the way, or not on the call sheet for that particular day. As the AD contacted the shooting set by walkie in order to apprise Jon of their arrival, Jessie straightened her lacy white cotton tank top, and tucked it further under her brown suede jacket into her jeans. Her hair hung loosely over her shoulders, as usual, held somewhat in place by Ray-Ban sunglasses perched atop her head. In ode to the show (and in hopes of maybe getting a chance to go riding – Charlie’s family had horses and they often rode on the weekends), she wore pointed brown leather cowboy boots. If one looked closely, one would find tiny smiley faces on them as well, carefully marked with a thin edged black Sharpie.
She inhaled – there was some sort of wild weed here whose scent took her right back to Prince Edward Island and her family’s one and a half story century home in Bedeque. In the summertime, as they pulled into their dirt driveway, she’d often noticed the floral fragrance in a sort of nonchalant way. Now it took her by surprise, as she hadn’t smelled it in many years, but she recognized it right away. She caught herself wondering if maybe somehow her father was with her on this day, sending her some kind of message. Just as she was making a mental note to find out the name of the weed, likely one that grew alongside the split rail fence, she heard a loud whoop from the general direction of the corral. She turned to see Stephen walking towards her, his blond locks bouncing, a wide grin across his suntanned face.
“Well I’ll be,” he hollered as he stepped his lanky body over some horse dung and made his way over. “You’re just about the prettiest thing to ever grace this dry old place. What in tarnation are you doing in this lonely old neck of the woods, girl?”
As he gathered her up in a friendly hug, Jessie caught herself wondering if he always talked like that, or was he just playin’ his part. Method acting, perhaps. At any rate, she didn’t have time to ponder that thought, as she glanced over Stephen’s shoulder to see Josh in the corral, loosely holding the rope with the wee beastie at the end of it, staring at her in complete and utter shock.
***
It didn’t take Steve long to figure out that Jessie was the gal Jonathon had alluded to earlier – visiting set to look into the role of Kate. So Jessie knew Josh would likely have figured it out rather judiciously as well. She could barely bring herself to look at him, but then found when she did that she couldn’t look away. Jessie watched as Josh handed the rope over to the techie trainer and, wiping his dirty hands on his trousers, make his way to the fence, where he bent down and carefully crawled through. She had no choice but to follow Stephen over to say hello.
The shock of seeing her there - and having her see him in all his smelly horse-bound dirty glory - was wearing off. Josh looked a little piqued, in fact. Pissed off, perhaps. But he was a gentleman and, as he and Stephen exchanged looks, he reached out his hand and shook Jessie’s.
“Hey.”
“Hey, Josh…”
No hug, though. Nervous as she was, Jessie was definitely disappointed. She had a moment when she wondered again whether she was losing her mind, when a van pulled up behind them and she heard Jon calling out a welcome to Dee.
Jessie looked up at Josh, hoping she could read his expression and therefore have a better idea what he was indeed thinking, instead of guessing like she usually did, most oftentimes wrongly, at that. But his expression was vague, if not just a teensy weensy bit hostile, and she refused to accept that he was unhappy with her sudden appearance here, so she chose to ignore it.
She thrust her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. “Quite the little beast you’re training there.”
“Who’s training who?” Steve chuckled.
Josh silenced him with a glare before glancing back at Jessie. “I play a wrangler. Figured I should learn how to wrangle.”
“Yeah, well, good luck with that.” Jessie inhaled sharply. Her nerves were getting the best of her. Her mind ran over the storyline provided by Jonathon. Picturing Josh as her counterpart – her love interest – on the show was enthralling, to say the least. It was everything she had in her not to just reach out and grab the dangling suspenders and haul him close. She forced her eyes back up to meet his.
Josh paused. He was watching her closely, studying Jessie’s nervous expression and movements. He scowled. “If you’re nervous around horses, maybe this set isn’t the place for you.”
Steve stared incredulously at his friend. “Jesus, Josh!”
Jessie froze. She bit her bottom lip, then ran a forefinger over the top lip and gazed hard back at her future co-star. She hunkered up her shoulders, and stuffed her hands back in the pockets. She crossed one toe over the other. When she spoke, her voice was quiet but steady.
“I can handle horses,” she said simply, trying to swallow past the lump in her throat.
She whipped around to greet Jonathon, forcing a smile. Behind her, Steve shoved Josh so hard he almost fell. “Asshole. Damn, Josh!”
“What?” Josh glowered back at him.
Jonathon welcomed Jessie warmly with an effusive hug, and then grinned at the boys. As he released Jessie, though, his grin turned to a frown and his eyebrows narrowed as he saw some hostility pass between Josh and Steve. Jessie didn’t have to turn around to know Josh was turning on his heel and storming away. She stood a little straighter, and told herself she was glad she had Charlie, and that this was work – business – and that she would do the work as needed, and take the emotion out of it.
But as she and Dee started a tour of base camp, and then of the built sets half a mile below, she couldn’t help but glance towards the barn into which Josh was disappearing with his head hanging low, his suspenders dangling from his pants, creating a unique melancholic, lonely shadow on the sandy ground be
low.
***
Josh slammed his fist into the new wooden door of Sally’s stall, startling the chestnut roan with the dramatic white blaze on her forehead. He couldn’t fathom this latest twist of fate – why in hell would she show up here? The last time his heart pounded this hard was after the motocross race a few summers ago in Agassiz, when tragedy struck and Josh entered a downward spiral that didn’t end until his last turn through rehab. It had scared the shit out of Josh, watching the whole freak accident in what seemed like a weird kind of surreal slo-mo, the dirt spraying into the air like a fountain of blood. Scary shit. The kind of shit that made a guy think about retiring permanently from an adrenaline fueled sport like motocross. Josh still challenged life head on when he could, and racing on the motocross circuit was a rush. Still – that stallion out there in the corral had his heart racing, too. But neither doing two 30 minute motos on a dirt track at 110% nor breaking a wild stallion had anything on how he felt the moment he realized Jessie Wheeler was walking into the Drifters base camp. The second it clicked – the need for an A-List star to play Kate, and then Jessie showing up, Jessie who of course was connected to Jonathon via the Keatings – he just about snapped. Logically in terms of that whole six degrees of separation thing, it made sense. But, dammit, in terms of her career as a film star and recording artist, it didn’t compute. At all.
The thing was, Josh was scared. Shitless. Like a bird about to settle on a wire, or a kid playing a regularly scheduled soccer game…there were these moments when everything seemed normal, like life had fallen into place, that things were going the way they should. Then – bam! A curve ball…the bird gets zapped and falls to the ground; the kid gets hit by lightning. Or a kid volunteering at a motocross event gets airlifted to hospital by helicopter with a brain suddenly becoming too large for his head.
A Song For Josh, Drifters Book One Page 7