Hands tore at clothes, mouths crashed into each other, tongues tangled in a delicious dance. I heard the whoops of excited skiers in the near-distance and it made me wetter, and more aware of what we were doing. Joey throbbed in my hand, telling me it wouldn’t be long before he was looking for a release.
Then he was gone. He pulled away from me in a rush, leaving me feeling exposed, and cold. He dug through his pocket and found a condom, quickly sheathing himself once he yanked his pants to his ankles. He walked toward me and tugged my pants down in one swift movement, exposing my lower half. Then he jerked me up into his arms and onto his cock. My knees were locked at his hips, my feet awkwardly against his knees, but where it counted, oh, dear, God, was it good.
And then he started to move. My back hit the tree and Joey’s hands cupped my ass, cradling me as he spread my legs as wide as they could go. He was thick, and long, and oh so perfect. He hit just the right spot to send me into a tailspin. Fast and hard, he pounded into me, the rhythm matching what I needed so desperately. My eyes fell shut, my mouth opened wide, and I moaned loudly. I was going to come, and it was going to be a good one, and I couldn’t do anything to stop the volume.
“That’s it, baby, let me hear you. I need to hear you. Tell me how good it feels, Addi.”
“Oh fuck, Joey. Harder. I’m going to come. Now!” I screamed. After a second he captured my screams with his kiss, his hips still working their magic between my legs. I shook. I moaned. I screamed. I quivered. The world went black, then white. Then I went limp in his arms.
I was vaguely aware of him coming somewhere in the midst of my orgasm, his grunts mixing with my screams creating a musical symphony that likely scared away not only the wildlife but the skiers. It was beautiful. It was sexy.
It was not me.
I loved every fucking minute.
As my strength came back I realized I was draped over Joey like a wet noodle. He was standing strong, holding me like it was nothing. Carefully I pulled back from him, knowing I would need his help to get back to my feet. I placed my hands on his shoulders and looked at him.
“You are so beautiful when you come. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything sexier than when you throw your head back, all that gorgeous hair flying around behind you. And your eyes, I love the look in your eyes. You’re just amazing.”
Emotion welled up in me, the warm fuzzy kind of emotion that I wasn’t supposed to be feeling with Joey. Joey was supposed to be fun sex. Not emotional. I couldn’t do emotional.
“You certainly have a way of bringing out the best in me. Or at least the loudest in me,” I laughed, hoping he would drop the emotional crap and go back to light and fun.
His fingers bit into my sides as he gripped my hips and slowly lifted me off him. We both groaned at the slow slide, me immediately wanting more.
“When can I see you again?” Joey asked as he pulled up his pants.
I knew what he was asking. He wanted to hook up in the woods again. Well, I was game. Channeling Cassandra was easier than I thought it would be. If I’d realized having sex with random men could be this much fun I’d have started acting like my irresponsible sister a whole lot longer ago.
“I don’t know,” I teased, shifting my breasts back into my bra. “I’ll be back next week for ski club.”
He stopped what he was doing and looked at me. His hand was stuck in the waistband of his pants, tucking in his shirt. My skin heated again, my mouth watering at the thought of having him all over again. Jeez, being a little slutty was fun, but damn, I felt like I couldn’t keep my legs shut. Around Joey at least.
“You know that’s not what I mean. When are you going to let me take you out?”
Oh, crap, not that. When he asked me the first time I thought it was just to make himself feel better, like he felt guilty screwing me in the woods. I didn’t think he was serious.
“Don’t worry, we’re good. You don’t need to feed me in order to get laid.”
Joey huffed and finally removed his hand from his pants. He buttoned and zipped himself up and tugged his jacket back over his broad shoulders. I was still amazed he was strong enough so hold me up during sex, but looking at the muscles bunching in his chest and the width of his shoulders I knew he would never drop me. Damn, that was sexy.
“I’m not just trying to get laid,” Joey argued.
“Well, you messed up then, because I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what just happened,” I said cheekily. I knew I was being a pain, but I wasn’t getting emotional with Joey. He wasn’t my boyfriend. He wasn’t someone I was going to hang out with. He was a distraction for the winter. Something fun to do. Something to prove to myself that I wasn’t the person Cassandra accused me of being.
“I want to get to know you. You entertain me,” Joey said with a cocky grin.
“That’s just because I’m crazy enough to strip down in the woods and fuck you.”
“There’s that, too,” Joey teased, his eyes softening when they collided with mine. “I like you, Addi.”
His honesty scared the shit out of me. I wanted sex. I wanted carefree. I wanted to show everyone I wasn’t a boring people pleaser. I was doing this for me. Not for him. For me.
Why did he have to go and ruin it? We were having fun. Great sex. An element of danger. No pressure. And he screwed it up by asking me out.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go out with him.
Well, okay, it was.
But it wasn’t because he didn’t seem like a nice guy, or someone with great boyfriend potential. I didn’t have time for that in my life. I wanted to have some fun. Prove to Cass and Sam and my mom, and hell, myself, that I could enjoy life. That I didn’t need to be boring old Addi all the time. I wanted to be fun. I wanted to have fun.
And having sex in the woods was more fun than I ever could have imagined.
But that was all I wanted. I wasn’t ready to shake up my whole life. To fall for a guy who would demand something from me. Because they always did. I’d been through it enough, with my sister, with my parents, with just about everyone I knew. I was happy alone. I didn’t need a man to make me happy. I just needed a good romp once in a while.
And he wanted to change things.
“I like you, too, but I’m having fun. This doesn’t have to turn into something more than it is. I’m a big girl. I don’t need you to take me out and treat me like I’m special just so we can have sex. Dinner is overrated. So is sex in a bed. But this,” I gestured to the tree we’d just screwed against, “this is invigorating. I don’t want a dinner. I want crazy sex against a tree.”
Joey laughed, but there was something in his eyes. Something that looked dangerously close to hurt. He wanted more. And I immediately felt like an ass for not being willing to give him more.
But how could I?
That was my whole problem. I gave to everyone around me and never took anything for myself. I was sick of it. Joey wasn’t going to guilt me into giving him a relationship I wasn’t interested in having. I already had enough of those. I wanted this for me. Something I could have that was mine. That no one else was in control of. That no one else was going to take away from me or make me feel guilty for.
I turned away from him, fixing my clothes and zipping my jacket back up so I wouldn’t have to look at him.
Didn’t all guys just want sex? There I was offering myself up every chance I had, screwing him in the woods, not demanding anything, and he was upset? How did I find the one decent guy who wanted more?
Eighteen
New Year’s Eve arrived with very little fanfare. Charlie came over a little early so we could all head downtown together. Sam was dressed to kill in a pair of black pants, a red sweater and a red pea coat. Charlie was a bit more casual in jeans and a black ski jacket, but she still looked great. I paired my favorite jeans with a green sweater and knee high black boots. We all felt pretty good as we headed out the door, ready to take on the city of Buffalo.
“Happy New Year!�
� Sam shouted as we walked to the car. After Christmas, New Year’s was her favorite holiday. I was pretty sure it was just because it was an excuse to drink, not that we ever needed one.
We giggled as we climbed into Charlie’s car, me tucked into the tiny backseat, and Sam up front. “I’m so glad you came out with us, Charles. This is gonna be awesome!” Sam said. She started drinking at the house before we left and was already into her loud stage.
“Me too, Sam. Although I could do with a little less SHOUTING IN MY EAR!”
Sam giggled when Charlie yelled at her. She shouted back, “OKAY!”
We all fell into laughter, thinking we were simply the most clever people ever.
My phone rang, interrupting our laughter. I dragged it out of my pocket, ready to rub our fun in Claire and Mandy’s faces, but stopped short when I saw Joey’s name.
I groaned before I answered, unsure if I wanted to talk to him. I swiped before I could second guess any longer and said, “Hello?”
“Hey. Happy New Year.”
“Happy New Year.”
“Did you decide if you were going to let me take you out?”
Seriously? He was pulling that out now?
“Uh, really? It’s three hours before midnight on New Year’s Eve and you think I’m sitting around waiting for you to take me out?”
Joey laughed. “I guess you have other plans then, huh?”
“Yes, I have other plans. I’m heading out with my friends right now.”
Sam yelled from the front seat, cheering that we were going out.
“Where are you headed? Maybe I can meet you?”
I hesitated and chewed on my lip. Yeah, I could go for seeing him, maybe sneak away for a little alone time, but I wasn’t sure I wanted him to meet my friends. I mean, what was the difference between him meeting my friends and me meeting his grandmother? Not enough in my book. It was still pushing the limit of our relationship.
“Uh, I’m not so sure about that.”
“Why not?” he demanded in a voice that wasn’t too happy. “Am I good enough for sex but not good enough for your friends? Is that it?”
“Jesus, Joey, really? What’s with you? We’re having fun. You don’t screw someone in the woods and think it’s going to be a relationship. If we were going to get together we would have started out with a date, or at least a few conversations. Instead we started out with me on my knees in the woods and ended up against a tree.”
“So? Why does that mean it can’t be more than that?”
I groaned and rolled my eyes. He wanted to define our relationship over the phone, on New Year’s Eve. What the hell was going on?
And why did I feel like I was going to lose him if I didn’t agree to something?
And why did it matter?
“Listen, Joey, can we talk about this later?” I asked, suddenly aware of the two pairs of ears in the car that were intent on every word out of my mouth. “I’ll be back Monday for Ski Club.”
He grunted something I couldn’t understand then said, “Yeah, whatever. Happy New Year, Addi.”
“Happy New Year,” I said, but he was already gone.
“What was that about?” Sam asked.
I shook my head, hating that tears were filling my eyes and I was feeling like I’d already lost him. Why did it matter? He was supposed to be fun. Not someone I got attached to. Not someone I was supposed to care about when it ended.
“Joey’s been asking me out and I keep putting him off. He wanted to meet us out tonight, but I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Why not?” Charlie asked.
I shrugged. “That’s the same thing he asked me. Then he asked if I thought he wasn’t good enough to meet my friends. I don’t know what to do. I have fun with him, but I didn’t go into this thinking it could be a relationship. I’m just trying to enjoy life, enjoy him. And now he’s trying to turn it into something else.”
“And you don’t want it to be?” Charlie asked.
“I don’t know. I guess I never thought about it. I’m trying not to think about it. There’s so much in my life that I do for everyone else and I wanted something for me.”
Sam snorted. “Someone you mean.” She giggled and Charlie and I joined her.
“There’s that too. He’s spectacular in bed, or, in the woods. But I know that element of danger, that risk of getting caught, it helped make everything better. What if the sex isn’t as good in a bed? Or just in general, with him? What if there’s nothing between us but sex in the woods?”
Sam snorted again. “You need to pass him around to the rest of us so we can all get a good round of sex in the woods. Hey, we need to make that a drink! You know, like Sex on the Beach, but a winter version. Think White Russian, but sexier. What could we use? Some Kahlua, some vodka, maybe some Chambord. Ooh, that could be really good!”
Sam rambled on about her drink, giving me time to think and time to focus again. I knew she was kidding about passing Joey around, but it pissed me off that she would even think about it. Which was more telling than I cared to admit. I liked him. I hated that I did, but I liked him.
I mean, yeah, I always knew that. I wouldn’t have slept with him in the first place if I didn’t like him, but between his phone call and Sam’s teasing I began to realize just how much I’d started to like him.
Joey had become a fixture in my life. It’d been a short period of time, but I’d gotten used to seeing him. To pretending to ski with him. To texting him a few times a day.
Damn.
He’d wormed his way into my life, and if I wasn’t careful, he was going to end up in my heart.
My phone rang again. I didn’t want to have another fight with Joey, but maybe I could smooth things over a little before Monday. Maybe he could meet us. It might not be so bad.
“Hey,” I said without checking the screen.
“You have to help me,” Cass said in a whisper. My stomach dropped to the floor. She was in trouble. Was it bad that my first thought after being worried was that she was about to ruin my whole night?
“Where are you?” I asked, reaching for a sense of calm. Charlie was going to have to drive us and be a witness to the crazy that my life was. Where the hell was Mom? How did Cass get out of the house to be able to get into trouble without Mom?
“I’m at home,” she whispered back.
Um, what?
“What are you talking about? If you’re home why do I need to help you?”
“Because Mom is driving me nuts! I have to get her the hell out of here so I can go to a party. She keeps telling me she wants us to have a quiet night at home, but my friends are having a party and I need to get out. I’ve been cooped up with Mom for weeks. Can you please take her for the night?”
Seriously? She was absolutely ridiculous. I had a night out planned with my friends. I was not going to go babysit my mother.
“I have plans, Cass. I’m already out.”
“Ugh, Addi, please. I’ll do anything. I just need one night out without Mom hovering. I have to have some fun. It’s not like you’re doing anything crazy anyway. What are you doing? Going out with Sam? A respectable night where only one of you drinks so you can drive home safe?”
Anger and annoyance rose up within me together. “Really, Cass? You want me to help you and you start with insults? And for the record, making sure we have a sober ride is a smart thing to do. I don’t have a sister to call who will pick me up from whatever gutter I crawled into when I want to go home. I have to take care of myself.”
“Fuck you, Addi.”
“Right back at you, sis,” I snarled then hung up the phone.
“Um, are you okay?” Charlie asked, glancing in the rearview mirror at me.
I forced a smile and nodded. “Great.”
“Good for you. That bitch needs to hear the truth once in a while. It’ll do her some good to have to take care of herself once in a while. I just hope she was sober enough to remember what you said to her.”
“She wanted me to take Mom so she could go party tonight.”
“Screw her,” Sam argued. “You’ve been staying home waiting for her call for years. You deserve a night out more than she does.”
I nodded in agreement. “You’re right. I shouldn’t feel bad. I deserve this.”
Sam cheered and Charlie beeped the horn. I laughed and fought back the guilt that was trying to settle in my gut. I’d spent over a decade taking care of my sister. It was hard to turn that dedication off like a light switch. I worried she’d go out anyway. Maybe she’d take Mom. No. She wouldn’t do that. She’d just leave Mom home alone. On New Year’s Eve.
No. I wasn’t going to worry about it. Mom was living with Cass. Cass would get over it. After all, she said she was going to turn her life around. Maybe a night where everyone except her was partying was exactly what she needed.
I pushed all thoughts of my mom and Cass out of my head as we parked on one of the side streets close to the party. Music filled the cold air as we got out of the car. Sam cheered, again. Charlie linked her arm with mine and laughed as we followed Sam toward the music and crowd.
A band played on a temporary stage and the crowd swayed with the music. We danced and sang along with the covers they played. Charlie and I drank hot chocolate and Sam and I sipped beers. I was happy and warm and enjoying the night with my friends.
“Hottie alert,” Sam whispered not very quietly. Charlie and I looked up and saw three guys watching us. Charlie nudged me and I sipped my beer, hoping I looked cool. The edges of one guy’s lips tipped up and he nodded his friends toward us.
The first guy locked his eyes on mine. Deep brown eyes held me, stopping me from admiring his broad shoulders or his strong hands or his long, lean legs. His smile grew as he walked closer. He was cute. Hot really. But for some reason he didn’t do much for me.
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