It was a huge sigh of relief for me when he left nine months ago. He never physically touched me, but his words were vicious.
“If you need anything Dahlia, please let me know. The spare room is yours if you want it as well.” Mia lets go of Liam and walks the short distance between us before pulling me into her arms for a hug. I return it, and try not to blubber all over her.
“Thank you.” I pull back out of her arms. “Thanks for checking up on him for me.” I offer a wry smile toward Liam.
“You’re welcome.”
At the front door, I place my hand on the knob and pull it open. As I’m walking through, I glance over my shoulder and watch as Liam pulls Mia fully into his arms.
Closing the door, I can’t help the tears that fall down my face. I want what they have. That’s all I’ve wanted since I was old enough to know what should happen between a man and a woman. I read lots, and always have, so I know relationships can be happy. I know that the people in them can be treated with love and respect, unlike the relationship my so-called parents lived through. The lives of the characters in the novels I’ve read are fiction, but I’ve seen with my own eyes what it’s like to be in love. Phoenix and Thalia spring to mind. Phoenix would rather cut off his hand than hurt Thalia; just like my brother, Reece, would with Callie.
I thought that the relationship building between Ryder and I was going in that direction. Well, not necessarily marriage, but I know I haven’t imagined the way Ryder looks at me. It’s like he sees into my soul and knows all my secrets. It used to be unnerving but now, it’s as though I’m the only one he sees.
Sighing heavily, I walk outside into the fresh air, and head toward the forest path. The path will take me toward the lake and my thinking spot.
It’s the place I’ve escaped to for more years than I can remember, whenever my parents were fighting or whenever something bad happened. I always came here alone and it’s a place that everyone knows to let me be . . . even Reece has figured that out. He’s come after me a few times but he stays silent the whole time I’m nestled into the space between the branches of the large oak tree. I think it’s the only times when Reece manages to bite his tongue and stay silent. He has a habit of opening his mouth before he thinks, which has gotten him into trouble on more than one occasion.
I can’t help smiling about Reece. Callie is perfect for him since she puts him in his place pretty damn quickly, if you ask me. In all honesty, I think all she has to do is strip to shut him up.
Chuckling, I make my way down the path, which is only wide enough for one person at a time. The trees have grown to form a tunnel, which I love to walk through. When I was small, maybe around five or six, they used to give me the spooks, but then, as I got older, it became a secret path just for me. It’s magical and any spooks I did have, disappeared many years ago.
It doesn’t take long for me to arrive at my spot, which is a well-worn seat between two branches. Pulling myself up, I hook my purse on the branch to the side and stretch out, with my feet resting on the opposite branch. If my butt were any bigger, I wouldn’t fit.
Wiggling around, I finally get comfortable while gazing out across the lake thinking about Ryder, and what the hell I’m going to do. In fact, that’s all I’ve been able to think about since his mom dropped the bombshell.
Pulling my sweater on, I decide that I’ll wait to make any decisions until after I’ve spoken to him. Part of me is hoping I’ve imagined the whole thing, even though I know I haven’t.
The stress is so damn tiring. Snuggling down into my thick sweater, I don’t fight any more and let my eyes drift.
Chapter Three
Ryder
Where the fuck has she gone?
That’s the thought that keeps running through my head the more I run around town looking for her.
It’s past eleven, and according to Mia, Dahlia left her house around four. Liam told me she’d planned on getting some air to clear her head before coming back to talk to me, but that was hours ago, and I’m worried sick. My only hope as I drive through town for the fourth time is that she’s at a friend’s house instead of out in the cold, even though I’ve called them all.
The town is dark with only the odd car going past my slow truck. The only sign of life is the comings and goings at Kix, which is in Suzie’s capable hands. She’s worked at Kix since I opened the doors and is someone I trust to look after my place.
So instead of having dinner tonight with Dahlia, I’m out, trying to locate the girl who holds my heart in her hands. Not that I’d ever tell her. She’d probably freak or maybe I would, but there you have it. Dahlia has managed to get under my skin.
When I’d first met her, I’d tried to fight those feelings but finally gave up the fight when Reece put me straight about her and her situation. Until then, I’d thought she was Reece’s booty call. I’d felt sick when I realized just how much I’d misjudged her, which was the catalyst that made me realize my feelings for her were anything but plutonic.
If only my life wasn’t a mess, I’d have made a move on her back then. Instead, I tried to keep her at arm’s length until I couldn’t take it anymore. Then, before I could explain everything to her, she had to find out the way she did.
I have a lot to make up for, which I intend to do as soon as I get the chance. All I have to do now is find her and beg her to hear me out and hopefully not leave Kix . . . and me.
Although my apartment is above Kix, it’s totally separate from the bar and with Dahlia’s help, we’ve made it look like a home. She’s only been with me for a week, but in that little time, she has become a permanent fixture in my apartment. Hell, she’s become a permanent fixture in my life. The thought of her not being there to share it with me sends pain shooting to my gut. One of my biggest fears is that she’ll leave me. I don’t have the right to beg her to stay, but I’m sure willing to try.
Slowing the truck, I pull up in town and turning the engine off, I drop my forehead to the steering wheel. Breathing heavily, I try to rein in my anger.
Fighting back the burn behind my eyes, I raise my head and see the path that’s been caught up in the beam from my headlights.
Fuck! Her thinking spot.
She couldn’t still be out there . . . could she?
Only one way to find out.
Grabbing the flashlight from under the passenger seat—switch it on to make sure it works—I slam the door and make my way into the forest.
Why she’d come in here to think is anyone’s guess because it’s freaky as hell, at least it is at night. Not that warm, either. Although I’m desperate to find her, I hope to hell she isn’t freezing her ass off in here.
The deeper into the trees I trek, the more I’m starting to realize she isn’t stupid enough to still be here if this is the place she came earlier.
Without breaking my stride, I carry on toward the lake. I’m nearly there so I might as well check it out because I’m at a loss as to where to look next. Even if she isn’t ready to listen to me, I just want her to be home, warm and safe.
Rounding the corner, which is close to where Dahlia escapes to, I freeze, and listen. I’m sure I caught the sound of someone crying. But as I try to catch the sound again, the forest is silent. With my heart pounding, I take another step and use the flashlight to see through the trees. My heart practically stops in my chest when I spot Dahlia, sitting on a fallen log looking so damn lost and forlorn.
She starts and turns toward the light and I see tears streaming down her face. That’s all I need to kick start my legs and I shove through the branches of the tree, which were helping to keep her hidden. I drop to my knees at her feet. Dropping the flashlight, I take her face into my hands and pull her against me—she feels like ice and I want to curse. Moving one arm, I wrap it around her waist to keep her close as I keep my other hand buried in Dahlia’s hair.
She doesn’t fight me, although I wouldn’t blame her if she did. Instead, Dahlia wraps her arms around my neck and slides
her fingers through my hair and against my scalp. My whole body shudders in pleasure at having her hands on me. If only this would last.
Inhaling, I pull back and kiss her cheek. “You scared the shit outta me,” I whisper against her ear.
“I’m sorry,” she apologizes so quietly I barely catch her words. She sniffles and refuses to meet my gaze. “I jumped from the tree and must have landed on a stone. I think I’ve twisted my ankle.”
I stare at her face until she finally looks at me. The heartbreak on her face is my own doing, but the fact that she’s injured because of me hurts. It hurts deeply.
“Oh God, babe.” I drop my head so she doesn’t see the tears in my eyes. Blinking them away, I look up, and using my fingers, brush the hair back from her face. “You’ve been stuck in here.”
She nods. “I couldn’t get cell reception.”
“Let’s get you out of here then.” Standing, I pass her the flashlight. “You hold that and I’ll carry you.”
She takes the handle of the flashlight, and as I hold her in my arms, she wraps her own around me before resting her head against my chest. She might be upset and pissed, but she still trusts me, which fills my heart with hope.
Dahlia
Having Ryder hold me in his arms is all I’ve wanted since we first met. I smile remembering the first time I laid eyes on him. It had been at the back of Kix. He’d been unloading his truck, and I’d stood in the shadows and watched as his biceps flexed under the weight of what he’d been holding. His tee shirt had ridden up his torso, showing his tanned skin and the smoothed muscles of his stomach. His low riding jeans had dipped rather low, giving me a drool worthy look at the V leading down to his goods. The jeans had cupped him just right. My mouth had watered, and those images had made me act like a stupid schoolgirl around the school jock. After that, I’d tried to avoid him because his face had matched the rest of him and all I wanted to do was lick every inch of him.
Despite the lightning quick reaction I’d had, Ryder hadn’t liked me at first. Every time I saw him he’d look through me, but sometimes I’d catch him watching me with anger in his eyes. All that had suddenly changed, and Ryder and I started to become friends. Which is why I’m so upset. It isn’t just that he’s married, I mean, we haven’t really done anything, but it’s also because he never once mentioned anything.
I know on a few occasions he’s said his life is screwed up, but if we were friends, why wouldn’t he tell me? I don’t believe for a minute that he didn’t tell me because he wanted in my panties. I know he wants in them; I want him in them. But he’s had plenty of time to sweet talk himself inside, and he hasn’t. That speaks volumes, right? Oh God, I’m so damn naive where men are concerned.
With my screwed up parents, it’s no wonder I don’t have any experience. I was hoping to get that with Ryder, and I hoped that once he’d taught me about being a woman he’d want to keep me. Sometimes, I could imagine being with him forever simply from the way he looks at me. It isn’t like a flash fire . . . although there are times I feel like I’m going to burst into flames from the heat in his eyes, but it’s like the way Reece looks at Callie. It’s sweet, and tender and it makes me wish that he could be that someone for me . . . could be more than that someone. All I want is someone to treat me the way my friends treat their wives and girlfriends. Now I’m not sure I’m going to be able to stay with him. I saw what being the other woman did to my mom. Although at the time, I had no idea about the other woman status she held. All the pieces of the puzzle, of how she was, just clicked into place when I found out. She admitted that the only reason she stayed with Dad was because it meant she would be close to the man she actually loved—Reece’s dad.
I don’t want a life like the one she had. The man I want to spend the rest of my life with will be the man I love and the man who I know loves me. Until I met Ryder, I never wanted any of that, but the more time I spend with him, the more I’ve started wanting what everyone else in my life has—someone to love and cherish them.
“I think we should get your ankle x-rayed,” Ryder breaks into my thoughts and tightens his hold around me.
Snuggling deeper against his neck, I breathe him into my lungs. He always smells so good, putting me in a constant state of arousal.
I shake my head. “It’s not broken.”
He sighs and I wonder if he will fight me on it. Instead, he says, “I’ll strap it up but you’ll have to rest it for a few days.”
I nod. Anything is better than spending hours at the hospital. I breathe him in again and sigh. Knowing that I shouldn’t, but feeling that we’re in our own cocoon, I let my tongue slip between my lips and lick his neck.
His whole body shudders as his hands shake and flex against my waist and legs where he’s holding me.
“What are you doing?” He meets my gaze.
Feeling a blush rising on my face at my bold move, I inhale and reaching up, I cup his face in my hand—my thumb caresses along the edge of his lips. “I don’t really know.” Meeting his beautiful eyes, I feel a tear escape my eyes and see the pain reflected in Ryder’s. “I hoped my feelings for you would disappear this afternoon.”
Ryder lowers his eyes, and swallows a few times before I pull his face back to me.
“But they’re still with me,” I continue. “They’re still strong. You’re still inside me, Ryder. But . . . but, I can’t do this with you knowing that you belong to . . . someone else.” My voice breaks. I can’t carry on.
Burying my face against Ryder’s neck, I feel his arms contract against me as he reaches his truck.
“Can you open the door?” he asks, sounding distressed.
Reaching out, I get the door open and Ryder turns so he can slide me onto the seat. He removes his hands from under me, but rests them against the seat on each side of my hips. “I belong to you.” He covers my lips with his fingers. “I’ve never belonged to her, and since the minute I met you, I knew you were the one I was meant to be with.” He kisses me on my forehead.
“You didn’t like me when we first met,” I blurt out.
Ryder pulls back and smirks. “I liked you just fine. It pissed me off thinking you were with Reece when I wanted you. But because of my past, I was trying to keep my distance. It got to the point where I wanted to see one of your smiles directed at me.”
He shakes his head and continues, “That’s a lie. I craved having you smile at me the way you did Reece.” He offers me a wry smile. “We’d been friends a few weeks when I finally got that smile, except it was a lot brighter than the one Reece usually gets. You’ve no idea what that did to me.” He takes hold of my hand and kisses my fingers. “I want to see that smile back on your face for me.”
With those final words, he moves away and closes the truck door between us.
Running around the front of his truck, he climbs in and navigates the truck into a U-turn to head back to Kix. I can’t help noticing the sad, resigned expression on his face. I hate seeing what today has done to him as well. I shouldn’t have any sympathy for him, but I do. The word that keeps running through my head is separated. The only thing he’s done wrong is keeping everything a secret while showing his attraction to me.
Knowing I’m going to be punishing myself later, but unable to stop myself, I reach for his hand and entwine our fingers together. I let my head drop onto his shoulder and stay snuggled against his side for the five minutes it takes us to reach Kix.
Chapter Four
Ryder
I hardly got any sleep last night with worrying about Dahlia and how she’ll react to everything. She already knows part of it but there is just so much more to say.
Last night after I’d carried Dahlia to her bedroom, and wrapped her ankle, she’d pulled me down to her. We sat there, a breath between us, words left unsaid as she searched my eyes. Then she kissed my cheek, before turning away and settling down to sleep. I’d wanted to climb in and sleep with her in my arms. That wasn’t going to happen any time soon, if ever.
“You’ve made me breakfast.”
I quickly turn and see the woman who is never far from my thoughts, standing in the doorway of her room, and looking sexy as hell while rumpled with sleep. She takes my breath away, and I’m glad I’m standing behind the breakfast bar to cover the instant reaction my body has to her. “I did.” I can’t keep my eyes from roaming over her body, imaging what it would feel like to unwrap her as though she’s a present. Those thoughts aren’t helping my condition any. I cough to clear the obstruction in my throat. “Um . . . You ready to eat?”
She nods, and tries to walk toward the table, but her ankle gives out from under her.
Cursing, I dash over and sweep her off her feet.
“I’m sorry. I forgot about your ankle.”
She gives me a sheepish look. “So did I.”
Placing her butt on the kitchen table, I reluctantly let her go. Standing between her spread thighs, I pull a chair out for her.
“Ryder?”
“Hmm?”
She licks her lips, causing what little blood I have left in my head to rush south with a vengeance. All she has to do is glance down and she’ll know how badly she affects me. My erection throbs for a relief I’ll only get when I’m buried deep inside her. I need to get my reaction under control before I frighten the life out of her.
“You need a tee shirt on.”
I blink in surprise. “What?”
“You’re too much of a distraction like that.” She waves her arms around, indicating my naked torso.
I smile. “I’m distracting you?” I move closer and inhale sharply when my dick comes up against the edge of the table. “Well, you’re distracting me, which is why I forgot about your ankle.”
“Really? I distract you?”
I’m not sure she realizes what she’s doing, but her hands are caressing over my chest and her fingers keep rubbing over my hard nipples, a live wire straight to my dick. I’m throbbing and leaking with her touch heightening my arousal to unbearable proportions. My hands clench at my side, and I hope to God, I have the strength to not reach out and touch her. Because if I do, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to walk away from her.
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