“I never expected to hear any of this. I came here today prepared to be kicked out after I’d had my say.” I sit forward and rest my elbows on my knees, watching her. “What’s brought all this on?”
It’s as though someone else has taken over her body.
“I’ve done a lot of thinking since I had . . . a visitor, yesterday.”
I raise a brow in question.
She offers a small smile. “Your mom can be very persuasive.”
My mom!
“I can see your confusion. Your mom visited and pleaded your case. I’m not going to tell you what she said, other than she made me spend the rest of the day thinking about the past. I can’t help but think about the life you must have lead because you’re stuck with me as a wife,” she says, sadness lacing her voice. “I would have made an awesome wife.”
I pause, and then answer, “Yes, you would have.” I’m not sure I’d have given her the opportunity to try, especially once I found out she’d lied about being pregnant.
She chuckles. “You’re a bad liar.” Becoming solemn, she adds, “We wouldn’t have lasted. You wouldn’t sleep with me, so when you discovered my lies, you’d have been out of there without a backward glance—we both know that—but thanks for that.”
“What I don’t get is why you’re having all this,” I wave my hands around in an effort to find the words, “soul searching or whatever you want to call it.”
I like puzzles and working them out, but she’s the biggest one yet. I didn’t think it was possible to have her about turn with her pain-in-the-ass attitude of previous.
“Your mom said a few things that hit a nerve.” She starts coughing, and points to her nightstand toward the water.
Reaching for the glass, I hold it while she takes a sip through the straw before she waves me away.
“I need to sleep now,” she says, catching her breath, dismissing me.
“Okay,” I mumble, surprised the visit is over as quickly as it started.
As I watch her eyes close, I’m not sure what to do or say.
My brain has been jumbled since I stepped foot in the house.
“Just send the papers.”
My heart jumps.
“I’ll sign them. Take care, Ryder.” She starts to drift off to sleep.
I step close and for the first time since the night we spent together, I lean forward and willingly kiss her on the forehead. “You take care as well . . . and thank you.” I kiss her again.
Pulling away, I notice the lone tear sliding down into her hair, which causes me to hesitate. “I’m sorry,” I whisper before turning and walking through the door.
I rest against the wall outside her room feeling uncertain, and like I’m abandoning her. I shouldn’t feel like this after everything, but seeing her so defenseless makes me feel like the biggest bastard in history.
Who asks his wife for a divorce when she’s in a hospital bed looking like she’s fading away?
Fuck!
Without thinking, I slide down the wall and end up on my ass with my eyes closed and my head resting against the wall.
I feel someone join me.
Opening my eyes, I glance to the side and meet Evan’s worried gaze.
“I take it she affected you the same as the rest of us.” He stares at the opposite wall. “Mom left earlier in tears, and Dad hasn’t been in yet.”
“What about you?” I ask.
“Yeah, me as well.”
“I thought she got on okay with everyone, but me. I seriously don’t get how my mom can visit and her whole attitude has changed. I got an apology, I never in a million years expected.”
The headache I’d started out with this morning is coming back with a vengeance, to the point my stomach is starting to roll. I don’t know whether to put that down to shock or stress.
“Well, whatever your mom said to her, she’s been apologizing all day . . . all morning. She’s never been the easiest of patients, and we all put it down to her frustration because of the situation. She’s said things over the years to hurt,” he shrugs, “but she’s my sister, you know.”
“Yeah, I get it. I really do.”
“C’mon, you can’t sit here all day. You need to leave and you’ll feel better once you do. Sometimes I wish I could walk away from this house and never step foot inside again. It’s oppressive.”
Evan holds his hand out and hauls me from the floor.
“Do you want a clean break or do you want me to keep you up-to-date with what’s going on with her?”
A clean break is what I came to ask for, but now, I’m not too sure I can do that.
“Keep me up-to-date,” I reply quickly, before I change my mind.
We shake hands as I walk outside into the sun. I lift my face and close my eyes while I absorb the rays and try to rid myself of the gloom hanging over my head after my visit.
Feeling my cell vibrate, I palm it and glance down to see I have an incoming call from Dahlia.
Without answering, I send it straight to voicemail before slipping it back into my pocket and climb into the truck.
My emotions war inside me and I’ve no idea what I’m going to say to Dahlia. I left my apartment this morning with the intention of breaking all ties to Brittany with the divorce. Now, how can I look Dahlia in the face and tell her I decided to stay in touch with Brittany and her brother? My conscience won’t allow for anything else. Not after hearing what she had to say in there.
Driving away, I decide to detour into the city to try and meet up with Jace. There’s no way I can be with Dahlia right now.
I don’t have any romantic feelings toward Brittany, never did, but I do, after today, feel damn sorry for her, which leaves an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Chapter Eleven
Ryder
My trip to the city is turning out to be more of a detour than planned. Having spoken to Jace, he’s directed me to the field where he’s in the middle of teaching softball to some second graders from the local elementary school.
It’s a game that we played all through school and Jace is still on the academy’s softball team. The team is partly responsible for pulling him out of the darkness, which took hold after the shooting that cost him his detective badge, as well as a limb.
As I pull up at the field with the window down, all I can hear is screaming kids, and watch as my brother is in the middle of it all. Not to mention, there’s also a cute, little red head trying to calm the kids down.
I grin as I jump from the truck. I’m starting to think that maybe there’s more to this whole coaching business than he’s let on.
Jace doesn’t spot my approach, but the red head does and looks between us, causing him to turn.
He grins and pulls me into a hug with a thump on the back when I reach him.
“You okay?” he asks, frowning.
“I need to talk to you . . . but first, introduce me to the babe.”
I’ve no interest in her, but I have no problem testing the water with my brother’s feelings for her. By the frown, I’d say I’m getting to him. Interesting.
“Savannah, come and meet my brother.” Jace holds his arm out to her, but doesn’t touch her when she reaches his side.
“Savannah, this is my brother, Ryder.”
I shake her outstretched hand.
“It’s nice to meet you,” she says, her voice husky.
She starts to blush as we both stand, staring at her like idiots.
“Um, I better try and bring some order to the class. If you’ll excuse me.” She scurries off.
“She’s the teacher.”
Trying to hide my laughter, I reply, “I figured. She’s cute, petite with lots of curves. Has a nice blush as well.”
He scowls. “Stay away from her.”
I start to chuckle. “You are so easy to read, and for your information, I have my own girl.”
“Mom told me. What’s she like?”
“Mom?”
“Dah
lia, wiseass.”
He starts heading toward his truck to throw some gear in the back. Grabbing some water bottles, he passes one to me.
I smirk and answer his original question. “She’s amazing . . . I love her.”
He starts to cough, choking on the water so I belt him on the back until he shoves me away.
“Seriously?”
I nod.
Taking a drink, I keep my eyes locked with his.
“That’s why you’re going for a divorce. You want to be free to be with Dahlia.”
“I do want to be free to be with Dahlia, but the divorce is something I should have had the balls to do years ago, instead of carrying on as though there was nothing wrong. But with Dahlia, I want everything—marriage, kids, a dog and a house with a white, picket fence.”
He laughs. “Oh, my God, my brother is totally screwed.”
“Well, I’d like to be.”
“Wouldn’t we all,” he mumbles casting a sly glance toward Savannah.
“Have you asked her out yet?”
He slams the door of his truck shut and doesn’t answer.
What’s going on with him?
“Jace?”
“I heard you.” He glances across at Savannah, who quickly looks away when caught with her eyes on him. “It’s easier being alone.”
“Don’t let that bitch from back then ruin the rest of your life.” I prop my back against his truck, as he stands in front of me with his hands on his hips.
“Look at me,” he demands.
“I am.”
“Fuck, Ryder. Really look at me. Most days I barely hold it together. Yes, I’m finally starting to find some satisfaction in my job, but it isn’t the one I want to be doing—I’m not whole and I haven’t been in five years.”
That’s the first time he’s admitted out loud how much losing his detective badge hurt him. But I sure as hell don’t like the whole part. I’m not going to act as though I’ve no idea what he’s talking about. Because thinking that way isn’t healthy.
“Do you seriously think Savannah, over there, doesn’t think you’re whole? She can’t keep her eyes off you, and blushes when you catch her staring.”
“Yeah, and how do you think she’ll react when I take the prosthesis off?” he asks, his voice laced with a mixture of anger and hurt.
“Look, not everyone is like your ex. You need to stop letting that bitch into your head. You’ve come a long way since the shooting and I don’t see how one date is going to screw anything up. Savannah doesn’t seem like a ‘get laid quick’ kind of woman so I can’t imagine you’ll be stripping anytime soon . . . But you’re in shorts now so it’s not exactly going to come as a surprise to her that you’re missing something.”
He rubs his hand over his face. “Okay, enough about me. What’d you need to talk about?”
He’d taken my mind from my problems and now, they’re back. “I went to visit Brittany today, and it was the weirdest thirty minutes I’ve ever spent with her.”
“How?” He rests beside me on his truck.
“Mom visited her yesterday and apparently, whatever she said got Brittany thinking. She’s accepted that we’re getting divorced and she’s sorry.” I let out a heavy sigh. “Something’s going on, though. She didn’t look good but said it was the start of a cold. I’m not sure if that was fact.”
I rub my temples before letting my hand drop away. “I’m still going to go through with the divorce, but—”
Jace glances at me when I pause. “But what?”
“I’ve told Evan to keep in touch with how she’s doing. I thought I wanted a clean break, and part of me still does. It’s just that seeing her lying in bed, looking like she’s fading away, made me stop and think. It didn’t help, her telling me that she always looked forward to seeing me on her birthday.”
I push away from the truck and face Jace. “What the fuck am I going to do?”
“You might want Evan to keep you up-to-date, but my guess is you’re feeling guilty about going ahead with the divorce. The problem is, you know if you don’t, you’ll lose Dahlia. Does that sum it up?”
I throw my head back and stare up at the sky. “Yeah.”
Looking back at my brother, I notice the frown on his face. “You’re finally getting your life back on track with Kix, you have a woman you love . . . and now you’re hesitating to end your old relationship. My only advice is to stick to your guns, and don’t let anything sway you from doing what your heart is telling you to do.”
“You didn’t see her though. I can’t get the image out of my head.”
I was planning to carry on with the divorce after I left her room, even after leaving her house, but on the drive over my mind kept wavering. No matter what anyone says, she isn’t doing too well—that was obvious.
“Go through with the divorce, but there isn’t any harm staying in touch with Evan, right? I’ve never met Dahlia, but I’m guessing she’s pretty special to have you tied in knots. You don’t want to lose her over this.” He laughs. “Fuck, just call me Mom.”
“Mom.” I chuckle. “I need to call Ryan Townsend, the lawyer and get him to send the papers . . . I need to call Dahlia back as well.” I wince, remembering sending her call to voicemail.
Jace gives me a curious look so I explain, “She called when I was walking out of Brittany’s house. I didn’t know what the hell to tell her so I sent it to voicemail. I just hope she isn’t going to be pissed.”
“That’s why I stay single,” he comments.
“Yeah right,” I reply, not wanting to start anything with him now. “I’m going to head home. I need to see my girl, and I’ll leave Ryan for tomorrow.”
“All right. You take care.” He grins. “I’ll see you soon at Mom and Dad’s for dinner. Can’t wait to meet Dahlia.” He grins.
“Dick,” I mumble under my breath.
He roars with laughter while I’m getting back into my truck. If there weren’t any kids around, he’d be getting the finger about now.
Dahlia
My lip is bleeding, which doesn’t surprise me, considering I’ve been chewing it for most of the day.
While dabbing at my lip with a tissue, I look at the mess of clothes trailing all over the bed and into my suitcase. We’re going away for five days, so I don’t really need as many clothes as I obviously thought I did.
I make room on the bed, and sitting down, glance at my cell to make sure I haven’t missed any calls. A few hours earlier, I’d called Ryder but it had gone to voicemail so I hadn’t tried again. I presume he’s still at Brittany’s house, which makes me worry that things aren’t going well.
The wait is really playing on my nerves and I don’t know what the hell I’ll do if he comes back and tells me the divorce is off. What if he sees her and decides he can’t go through with it because of how she is? Or maybe he’ll realize that it was her he’s loved all these years. It’ll tear me in two if that happens.
Tossing the tissue into the trash, I begin to sort the mess on my bed out before emptying my suitcase to start again.
Gah, I hate packing.
It takes me about fifteen minutes to get everything either in the suitcase or back into the closet and still no sign of Ryder.
He’s been gone hours when I expected him to be gone only a couple.
As I walk out from the bedroom, I hear a key in the lock and watch as a troubled Ryder walks through the door.
My heart beats frantically when I recognize the look of sadness on his face. It keeps me in the doorway, instead of moving forward to greet him.
But when he lifts his head, his face becomes alight with pleasure at seeing me. There is no way that smile—which reaches his eyes—is only for my benefit. He is genuinely happy to see me. And that’s what I was waiting for.
I start toward him at the same time that he drops his keys on the table by the door and moves toward me.
He catches me up in his arms, and holding me tight, inhales against my neck. “God
, babe. I missed you.”
“I’ve been really worried . . . I called—”
“I know.” He kisses my forehead before using his hand to press my head against his chest, his fingers sliding through my hair. “I’d just walked out of Brittany’s house and had no idea what to say.”
I try to push him away to look into his eyes while he’s talking, but he holds me against him.
“I went in there expecting an argument or to be kicked out, but instead I had Evan, her brother, apologizing and Brittany practically handing our divorce to me . . . shocked the fuck outta me.”
My heart would lift if he sounded happy about everything, but he doesn’t. He sounds . . . sad.
I run my hands up and down his back, wondering what’s going on with him. Brittany giving him a divorce without any fallout is something that I was hoping for, but the way he’s reacting is just weird.
Ryder contracts his fingers in my hair, and tilting my face up to his, gives me such a loving look before his lips softly sweep along mine. “Don’t look so worried. It shocked me, but I’m all right now.” He quickly kisses me again. “I called to see Jace on the way back.” He smiles. “He was finishing up coaching softball to some kids, and their teacher has him in knots.”
“That’s good, right?”
He frowns. “Jace doesn’t think he’s worth anything to anyone, which is total bullshit, and all down to the bitch of an ex.” He sighs. “He lost his right leg below the knee about five years ago.” Now a smile appears. “She’s a sexy, little red head so I think he’s going to give in before too long because little does he realize, she’s already under his skin.”
Sexy, little red head?
“And how long did you spend with sexy, little red head?” I step out of his hold. I know there’s nothing to it, but the devil inside me says I have to tease him.
His brows nearly reach his hairline.
I start to giggle. “You are so easy to tease.”
He rolls his eyes. “My eyes stayed on her face.” He holds his hands up and in a Boy Scout salute. “I promise.”
Laughing, I tell him, “I trust you, and besides that, the guy who drives the delivery truck has nice thighs.” I smirk.
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