“I’m certainly not complaining.” I grin, taking a gulp of my own beer.
“Can you not grin like that while you’re thinking about my sister . . . it’s not right!”
I roar with laughter as Dahlia appears.
Dahlia walks around the bar toward me.
Her arm goes around my waist and her head rests against my chest.
This woman leaves me speechless. I bend and kiss the top of her head and pull her in close to me.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, but later I have a dinner planned that you need to make sure you’re on time for . . . and that you’re alone,” she whispers.
My dick certainly perks up hearing her words.
I turn, pulling her against my body so she can feel what she does to me, and reply, “That can be arranged.”
Her fingers slip into the back of my jeans and shorts while she lightly scrapes her nails over the naked flesh of my ass. Shudders rack my body as I harden against her.
I’m seconds away from tossing her over my shoulder and carrying her somewhere private when I hear a throat being cleared.
“You haven’t forgotten you have an audience, have you?”
“You still here?” I reply, only half-joking.
“You can make out with my sister anytime you want, just not in front of me.”
“Reece, lighten up.” Dahlia grins at her scowling brother. “I have to watch you all over Callie, I mean come on.”
I’m glad for Dahlia’s sake that Reece is okay with me being with her . . . even if he’s trying to hide his grin behind a scowl right now. Dahlia, until recently, relied heavily on Reece so having him objecting to our relationship would have played on Dahlia’s mind. She’s strong willed so I have no doubt that it wouldn’t have prevented us being together, but I’m glad he’s cool now.
No doubt, Dahlia had something to do with persuading him everything was good. She’s definitely strong enough to push her point with anyone . . . even Reece.
As I turn to whisper into her ear, I spot Jace standing just inside the entrance to Kix. I’m surprised. He’s only been here once or twice in the beginning and as he looks around at the business I’m proud of, I realize this is the first time he’s seen the finished bar. He’s eaten here a few times, but only ever used the back entrance.
The last time he was here, Kix was practically bare and like a builder’s yard, but now it’s mine. I made it mine.
“I can’t believe this is the same place.” He grins and moves closer. “You’ve done well, little brother.”
“Thanks.” I try to hide the delight I feel at his praise.
Once the introductions are out of the way, Jace sits at the bar with a wince, rubbing his thigh.
“You want a beer?”
“I always want a beer, but I’ll have a water.”
He’s full of surprises today.
“I’ll go grab you a bottle,” Dahlia offers, smiling at Jace.
That’s another thing surprising, his willingness to talk to Dahlia. He’ll be on the phone to me for five minutes and Dahlia for thirty. I know he isn’t trying to get into her pants, because he still has trouble keeping his eyes from Savannah, but there’s obviously something that keeps him coming back to talk to Dahlia.
“Here.” She passes him the water. “Are you staying to watch Deception, tonight?”
I silently groan. If he’s staying, it will also mean the dinner Dahlia has planned will be crashed.
“Sorry, I can’t tonight.”
“That’s too bad, but you need to come down again when they’re playing . . . I have some things to get done, but make sure you come by again,” Dahlia says and she sounds genuinely disappointed he can’t stay. I frown at her.
“I will.”
“Why can’t you?” I ask, wanting to know what he’s up to.
Shut up Ryder, and let me leave—dinner plans with Dahlia.
“I have a date, if you must know.”
“No shit.” I smirk. “With Savannah?”
Before he can answer, Reece is getting to his feet and waves behind him as he leaves.
I glance up to the ceiling, wishing that I could join Dahlia upstairs. That’s not going to happen while Jace is propping up the bar.
“Not Savannah,” he answers my question, but doesn’t look too happy about it.
“You obviously like the woman to go on a date with her, so what’s the problem?”
He starts peeling the label from the bottle, an old habit of his. “I’m lonely.” He lets out a long sigh. “You’re five years younger than me, and you’ve been married, soon to be divorced and no doubt married again as soon as you can. I’ve never so much as been engaged.”
“I’d rather forget the first part of my adult life, but you’re spot on about Dahlia. And why are you acting like this now when I’ve tried to push you to go after more women in the past?”
“I’m starting to realize I’m not such a lost cause . . . thanks to your woman.”
I frown.
“Oh, don’t go getting your shorts in a wad. The only interest I have in Dahlia is friendship, after all, she’s going to be my sister when your past is just that.”
“I hear you. So, back to why it isn’t Savannah you’re taking out.” I lean on the bar and watch as he thinks about his answer.
“She’s with someone else. It’s pointless to keep hoping she’s going to turn up at the field one day and announce she’s free. Yeah, I’d be all over that . . . and her, but I’m sick and tired and need to change the way my life is going. So I’m taking Robyn out.”
“Well, I hope your mood improves before you pick her up, otherwise, it’ll be a wasted effort.”
“My mood is just fine.”
I shake my head. “Your ‘mood’ is saying I don’t want to be doing this because I have a hard-on for someone else.”
He scowls. “It’s one meal. I have to eat. I mean, how hard is it gonna be to eat with company?”
“For you, difficult considering you rarely talk while eating. Plus, she’ll probably be bored after five minutes with your charming ass.”
He laughs. “I can be charming . . . when the need arises.”
I finally start to do what I came behind the bar to do, which was to put the clean glasses away. I want to talk to my brother, but it is clear that he needs to stew in silence for a few minutes.
I’m glad he’s getting back to dating, but I have a bad feeling tonight isn’t going to go as planned. Who knows what he’s thinking asking Robyn out, when she isn’t the woman he actually wants to be spending his time with.
I’m going to have a chat with Savannah the next time I’m down at the field when she’s there. I need to find out more about her, because my clueless brother is just presuming.
But what I need to do, right now, is answer my cell, which has been buzzing in my pocket on and off, for the past five minutes.
When I do though, I feel all the blood in me drain to my feet as the words start to penetrate my brain.
This can’t be happening to me.
I meet my brother’s concerned gaze and watch him place his bottle back on the bar.
He mouths “Mom or Dad” in my direction. I shake my head in what feels like slow motion as I disconnect the call.
Dahlia
Making sure the table is spotless and that I haven’t forgotten anything, I take a step back and admire my handiwork.
I’ve borrowed a tablecloth in a green and gold swirl pattern, with matching napkins from Mia. I have the wine glasses polished and ready. I’m planning on drinking non-alcoholic wine tonight so that Ryder doesn’t think there’s something going on with me until after I’ve broken my news to him. Then after that, I’ll be drinking juice, but that’s okay with me.
I smile, six weeks pregnant, well, with how the OB’s count it, I’m six weeks when in actual fact I only conceived four weeks ago or thereabouts.
When I peed on the stick this morning, I’d told myself it
was all in my imagination so it was a shock when I had a positive answer. Not just on one test but two!
After the shock started to wear off, all my thoughts were for the little baby that Ryder and I have created out of love.
It was a struggle this morning to not compare myself to my mom, who got pregnant by a married man. As much as I’m grateful for being here, it was devastating to be that baby and to know that my mom ached for the man who professed his undying love to her.
At least Ryder is in the middle of sorting a divorce out so he can be with me, whereas my mom had no chance of Reece’s dad leaving his family to be with her and me.
Throughout the day, I keep reminding myself of this fact and it seems to be working, even if the thought of telling Ryder I’m pregnant has my stomach rolling with nerves.
He’s going to be excited, right? He has to be because I can’t do this alone. I’ve been alone most of my life, until Reece came into it. Even then, he’d come and go until we all grew up some.
I know Ryder has a lot on his plate now, so my only hope is that I’m not adding to it with my news. The one thing, which is giving me confidence, is the fact that Ryder has told me over and over again that he loves me, and wants to spend his life with me.
I read, and know guys will say anything to get into a woman’s panties, but Ryder isn’t like that. I see his feelings for me in every little thing he does. In every look and touch.
For once, he’s going to really love the meal I have planned because it isn’t burnt thanks to Mia being here all afternoon to keep reminding me to check on the dinner. It’s not that I can’t follow a recipe because I can. It’s just that once it’s in the oven, I forget until the burning smell reaches me.
Now that everything is all falling into place, I need to grab a bottle of wine from downstairs, to pour for Ryder so I don’t give myself away. He’s more of a beer guy than wine, but whenever we eat dinner out he always has wine with his meal.
With that thought in mind, I slip downstairs and hope Ryder is still distracted with his brother so I can make it back upstairs without him seeing me. He does know about the meal, but he has no idea that it’s a ‘special’ meal.
As I walk down the corridor to the door leading through to the bar, I smile when I catch sight of three boxes of wine stacked against it.
If I select one of these, I’ll have to remember to ask Ryder the cost so his bar isn’t out of funds. Don’t want him thinking his alcohol is just disappearing.
Peering into the box on top, the silence is broken when I hear Jace ask, “What are you going to tell Dahlia?” Obviously, the question is directed at Ryder. But why would Jace be asking?
I do something I hope I don’t get caught at, and step closer to the door and listen.
“How the fuck am I supposed to tell her I’m putting a stop to the divorce? I mean, God, if it was the other way around I’d be pissed and upset, which is how she’s going to be.”
“Don’t do anything drastic just yet. Take time to think it through before you go and screw up your life with Dahlia.”
What the hell? He’s not getting divorced, has he lied to me all this time? My heart starts pounding as dread fills my bloodstream.
I wrap my arms around my waist, trying to hold my pain inside as I feel tears slipping down my face.
Not sure what I’ve missed while the blood has been rushing through my head and ears, I try to listen again and hear Ryder’s voice.
“Her mom was the other woman in a relationship. From what I’ve heard, he promised her mom that he’d get divorced and marry her, but he never did. She’s going to think I’m doing the fuckin’ same.”
“That’s fucked. If that’s the case and you don’t want to lose Dahlia then I suggest you carry on with the divorce.”
“I can’t live with myself if I do.”
He told me he hated her for what she did to him, for all the lies she told. I know he felt sorry for her after his visit, but he’s never once indicated anything was wrong, that he didn’t want to go through with divorcing her. What’s changed?
“So back to my original question, what are you going to do?” Jace asks.
“I need to break up with her.”
Please tell me he didn’t just say he was going to break up with me? He can’t. I love him. I need him now more than ever.
“Are you fuckin’ crazy?” Jace roars.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do?”
I don’t catch anything else because I can’t listen anymore; my heart is breaking after hearing his words.
How can he even think about walking away from me after our time together? We’ve only been together as a couple for a short time, but our love is real. My love certainly is. I’ve given him my heart and let him into my life so easily because there was something about him that made me trust him from the start. But now, how can he throw me away like I’m trash? How?
Placing one foot in front of the other, I slowly start backing away from the door and when I reach the stairs, I head up, trying not to trip with tears blurring my vision.
Shutting the apartment door, I slide against it to the floor and wrap my arms around my drawn up knees. Resting my forehead on top of them, my body shakes with the tears of my broken heart.
As my sobs start to lesson, it suddenly hits me that I need to leave. I can’t stay in Ryder’s apartment, and I’m not even sure I want to be here when he returns.
It hurt hearing the words he spoke to Jace, but hearing him speak them to me will be like a dagger to the heart.
Pushing myself to my feet, I make my way to the bathroom and splash cold water on my face before grabbing a towel from the heater.
When I’m done, I avoid glancing in the mirror and move toward my bedroom.
As though I’m watching someone else in slow motion move about, I grab the animal print bag from the floor of the closet and start shoving underwear, jeans and tee shirts into it without bothering to make sure they’re folded. I add a couple pairs of my shoes and slip my feet into my boots. The rest of my things will have to stay for now because I don’t have the time or means to take them with me. Ryder can always give them to Reece. At least, that’s what I hope he’ll do once he knows I’ve left.
On my way past the dresser in the bedroom, I grab a handful of tissues and shove them in my pockets, apart from one, which I use to wipe at the tears still falling.
I’m starting to feel a numbness start to overtake my body as though I have a built-in automatic pilot.
In the kitchen, I try to hold myself together and, after swiping at my tears once more, I blow my nose before tossing the tissue into the trash.
Washing my hands in the sink, I dry them and turn the oven off wondering where the hell I’m going to go now.
I’m not going to Reece and Callie’s house because Reece will go insane when I tell him what’s happening. Perhaps Mia can help.
As I take one last look around, and bury another sob behind my hand, I spot a notepad lying on the table.
Chapter Nineteen
Ryder
Not having a fuckin’ clue about what I’m going to say to Dahlia, I head upstairs to the apartment with my heart feeling like its being ripped out of my chest. I’ve put this off for the better part of three hours. Firstly, hashing it out with Jace before he had to leave, and then by restocking the bar.
If only I didn’t have a conscience then I wouldn’t have to break Dahlia’s heart and trust.
Even now after the call from Evan, I’m still torn about what the fuck to do. I already felt like shit for instigating the divorce when Brittany hadn’t looked good, but there’s no way I’m going to be able to carry on along that route now that she hasn’t gotten long left—two months at the most according to her brother.
I know the best thing for Dahlia is for me to break things off with her. The last thing I want is for her to ever think of herself as the other woman. I know where she’s coming from, and I don’t really blame her, but to me, she’s the
only woman.
Would it be fair for me to ask her to stay? To explain the situation and beg her to stay with me, and to know that one-day in the future, she’d be my wife. Or is that not right? Not right to want my girlfriend with me while my wife is dying.
Dropping my ass to the top step, I’m unable to enter my apartment because I know Dahlia is in there having made a special meal for us both.
Knowing I’m about to ruin her evening, and possibly break her heart, causes my eyes to sting as one, lone tear escapes and runs down my face. I don’t bother wiping it away. I don’t cry. I never cry. Not since Jace was on life support.
Jace’s advice had been to tell Dahlia everything and to let her decide about what she wants to do. But I’m afraid she’s going to decide it’s too much like her mom’s situation and walk. It’ll kill me knowing I’ve told her everything only to watch her walk away, knowing that she isn’t going to be by my side offering her love and support.
Is it too much to want the woman I love to be here for me no matter what shit-storm is about to hit the fan? Or should I go with my gut reaction and break up with her without telling her what’s going on? Maybe I should tell her I just need some space?
No matter which way I go, she’s still going to be upset. But how is it going to look to others when they discover my wife is dying and I’m living with my girlfriend? I don’t give a shit about what people think of me, but I do care what they think of Dahlia, and I know, because of her past, that it bothers her as well.
With a heavy heart and long sigh, I get to my feet and wipe the tears from my cheeks.
Dahlia is going to take one look at me and know there’s something wrong. Nothing I can do about that.
Inhaling and preparing myself for the worse, I enter the quiet apartment.
Fuck!
The table is set for a romantic meal for two, but no Dahlia. Where is she?
Walking into the kitchen the oven is switched off and feels cold.
Running my hands through my hair, I move into the bedroom and don’t find any sign of her around. As I turn back to the kitchen, I spot a white sheet of paper on the place setting in front of the seat I use.
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