“You’re my brother . . . so I’m going to forget that dig.”
He backs away and sits at the bar.
Sighing, I grab us both a longneck from the fridge at the back of the bar.
As I pop them open, I pass him one before walking around the bar to sit beside him.
“We’re two sorry assholes,” I comment, as I put the longneck to my mouth and guzzle most of it down.
“Speak for yourself . . . asshole.”
I start laughing and end up coughing and spluttering when I choke on the beer.
Jumping up, Jace thumps me on the back.
“So not helping.”
The coughing fit slowly stops, but the smirk is still on Jace’s face.
“You feeling better?”
I sober at his question, and after giving it some thought, I answer. “I’m not sure I’ll ever feel better. I thought she was the one, and right now, more than missing her every second, I can’t get the fact that she’s pregnant out of my head. It’s playing over and over as though it’s on repeat.”
I slump back down next to him.
Jace frowns. “Something has been bothering me since you said that.”
“What?”
“How pregnant is she?”
“I don’t know, but she was out here.” I stick my hands out in front of my stomach. “Why?”
He won’t meet my eyes. “Just curious.”
I stare at him, trying to see inside his thoughts. Jace never asks a ‘just curious’ question without there being something more behind his words. If I know my brother, he has no plans to share until he’s good and ready.
“I think you should go back to Portsmouth, and talk to Dahlia this time.” He gulps his beer. “You need to find out who the guy is, because until you do, you won’t know whether you screwed up and put your own take on what you saw, or whether there is truth in what you saw.”
It’s been a few weeks since I was in Portsmouth and although it kills me, seeing her happy with someone else, all I want is for her to be happy. Every day, I die a little bit more knowing that she’s obviously found what she’s looking for with someone else. And knowing he’s touching her, feeling her need, makes me so angry with jealousy that I don’t know what the fuck to do with my aggression.
Hearing the door opening behind me, I turn to inform whomever it is that the bar is closed, but the words leave me in a whoosh of air when Dahlia walks through.
“Looks like you won’t need to go and find her,” Jace mumbles under his breath and pushes away from the bar.
He nudges me to my feet, but as Dahlia walks away from the door, the guy I saw on the beach with her follows behind her.
I see red and knock my chair over.
“What the fuck,” I roar, and find Jace restraining me with his hands on my chest.
“Calm the fuck down. You’re frightening her.”
“She’s brought that fucker here,” I can hardly talk with the anger running through my blood.
“I don’t understand.” Dahlia frowns, and slowly moves closer, but the guy puts his hand on her arm to keep her with him.
“I can’t talk to her,” I tell Jace. “I’m out of here.”
I turn and move as quickly as I can behind the bar and through the back to the stairs that lead up to my apartment.
As I’m heading up the stairs, she calls out to me, which gives me pause when it sounds like she’s crying.
My legs feel as though they’re not going to hold me up for much longer, so once in my apartment, I drop to the sofa and close my eyes.
But when they close, all I see is Dahlia looking a million dollars with her glorious hair flowing in curls down her back, her legs encased in silk, and her feet in some sort of fancy shoe. Her pregnant body was encased in a short, purple silk dress, which even now has my cock hard as fuck.
There must be something wrong with me; getting fuckin’ hard because of the sexy woman, whom I’m hoping has left.
Listening to Jace’s words had given me a bit of hope that maybe he is just a friend. That didn’t last long when I saw them both downstairs.
Why would she come back, and bring him with her?
My head is fuckin’ tired of trying to work it all out.
Making my way to the kitchen, I open the cupboard beneath the sink and bring out the bottle of whisky.
Just what the doctor ordered.
Dahlia
Hearing Ryder’s reaction to me being here disintegrates the little bit that was left of my heart.
I can’t leave without talking to him, if he’ll listen, but the small hope I had left that everything would be all right disappears for good.
I’m unable to hold the sob in any longer, and drop to the floor as emotion clogs my throat. My breath catches as my body shakes with sobs. Tears stream from my eyes as someone picks me up.
“I’ve got you.”
Max.
I turn in to him and cry all over his chest. I’ve done so well holding everything together and seeing that Ryder doesn’t have the time of day for me is the last straw.
“Honey, you have to stop. Think of the baby.” He holds me tightly against him. “Dahlia, please. You need to calm down.”
Max practically begging me to calm down finally penetrates through the fog.
After a few minutes, I start to hiccup and allow Max to wipe my face.
“Blow,” he asks, holding a tissue to my nose.
I don’t think so.
I take the tissue and wipe my eyes before blowing my nose. I grab my purse, shove the tissue inside and grab another one from a travel pack I always carry.
“Would someone tell me what the hell is going on?” Jace stands in front of us.
Max gets to his feet before pulling me up and onto his lap at a nearby table.
I face Jace. “I needed to talk to Ryder . . . but,” my lip quivers, “there isn’t much chance of that now, is there?” I ask, hoping he tells me not to give up.
He shakes his head.
“Dahlia, you’ve killed him by leaving and going to someone else.”
“Someone else.” I frown.
Jace looks past me, and it clicks. How could he think that? And he didn’t act surprised at my pregnancy.
Sitting up, I move from Max to my own chair. “Jace, what is going on? Why wasn’t he surprised at my pregnancy?”
“A few weeks ago, he went after you.”
My heart feels lighter knowing that.
“He was hurting, and still is. All he wanted from the moment he met you was you. He arrived and before he could get out of the car to talk to you, he spotted you on the beach with him. You both had your hands on your stomach . . . he was a mess when he got back, and still is.”
I’m dumbfounded.
“Why didn’t he come and talk to me?”
“Dahlia, for fuck’s sake, you’re not dense. He thinks you’re with this guy and he’s the father . . . but he’s wrong, isn’t he? You don’t react like that when an old boyfriend walks away, and your new one is with you.”
I shake my head.
“How pregnant are you?”
“Five months,” I whisper.
“I’m gay,” Max blurts out.
After a stunned silence, I start to laugh, which becomes hysterical and turns to tears.
“You’re gay?” I hear the disbelief in Jace’s voice.
“I am.”
Drying up again, I admit to Jace, “I love Ryder. How can he think for one minute I could be with someone else? After everything we shared as well.”
“After you left, his life hasn’t exactly been great. He could have done with you being here to stand by his side.” I detect disapproval in his voice.
What does he mean?
“I heard him talking to you, saying he had to let me go.”
“He said had. I’m not going to deny it, as you heard it yourself. He’d just had a phone call, which is responsible for everything that was said. And talking to me in the bar was Ryd
er hashing things out with me. That’s all I’m going to say about that. I’ve probably said more than I should. It’s up to Ryder to tell you . . . and you have to get through to him that you’re carrying his child.”
I’m more confused than ever and I didn’t miss Jace’s accurate guess.
Jace grins. “I’m going to be an uncle.”
My words are stuck in my throat, so I nod.
“I’m going to take your friend with me to the diner, and you’re going to go upstairs and make my ass of a brother listen.”
“Max.” He extends his hand toward Jace, as he introduces himself.
“Jace.” They shake hands.
My head is spinning with how everything seems to be getting out of hand.
Max pulls me out of the chair. “Knock him dead, honey.” He kisses my cheek and, before I can object, walks out the door with Jace.
I’m left stunned in the middle of Kix, not sure I have the courage to go upstairs and make him listen.
No, I have to do this. I’m starting to think that maybe it’s our lack of communication that has made things a lot worse than they are, and maybe, if we’d talked to begin with, we’d still be together. At least, that’s how Jace made it sound.
I can do this . . . I can.
Oh boy!
Before I can change my mind, I head to the back of the bar and up the stairs. I leave my shoes at the bottom so he doesn’t hear me.
My heart is beating so fast with nerves that I take a minute to calm down. I need to stay calm. Not just for the baby, but because I need to make him listen without losing it.
About to walk into the apartment, the door suddenly opens and I’m faced with Ryder.
The stress around his eyes and the pallor of his skin tell me he’s finding me being here just as difficult as I’m finding it.
“I can’t talk to you right now.” He slips past me. “I’m sorry.”
I drop to the stairs and watch as he disappears. Moments later, I hear his truck start up and the wheels burn rubber as he tears out of the parking lot of Kix.
My hands go around my stomach to protect our baby while I try to hold myself together.
Out of all the reactions I imagined, this wasn’t one of them. Probably because all the ones I imagined had him taking me into his arms and asking for my forgiveness.
Slowly standing, I walk out of Kix and head toward the diner where Max and Jace should be, while I wonder whether I’m ever going to get anywhere with Ryder. I can’t understand why he’s being unreasonable and not wanting to hear what I have to say.
Our problems stem from lack of communication, and his behavior isn’t helping to sort the mess of our lives out.
Before I can get too far, a truck pulls up beside me with the window down. “Dahlia, get in.” Jace.
“Where’s Max?” I ask climbing into his truck, unable to meet his eyes.
“Back at the diner, waiting for our food. I’m going to swing back and pick him up. I dashed back here as soon as we saw Ryder zip past, and realized he was alone.”
“He wouldn’t talk to me, Jace.” I bite my lip. “I don’t know what to do.”
“I wish I knew, but right now, you need to eat something and leave my idiot brother to stew.”
I stare off into space through the truck’s window as Jace stops. Max climbs in with his arms loaded up with food. The delicious aroma causes my stomach to rumble.
Jace chuckles. “See, I said you needed to eat.”
Max gives my shoulder a squeeze before Jace pulls away from the sidewalk.
“I’m going to take you both to my place. We’ll eat and you can stay there tonight.”
Jace being so kind when his brother won’t give me the time of day causes tears to leak from my eyes.
“Can you go back to Kix and let me grab the rental car? I’ll follow you back to your place. All our stuff is in the trunk.”
I’m glad Max remembers because I’d forgotten about our rental.
“No problem.” Jace does a U-turn and heads back.
No matter how much I keep telling myself to focus on the baby, it’s so difficult, and the pain I’m trying to keep away won’t stay away forever. It’ll creep in when I least expect it to.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Ryder
Dahlia had looked so good back at Kix and, if I hadn’t gotten out of there, I’d have dragged her inside seconds before I’d have gotten her naked and beneath me.
I seriously don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. Dahlia was standing in front of me wanting to talk and I’d acted like a toddler and turned my back.
I’ll be lucky if she’ll ever talk to me again. Perhaps if I’m not taken off guard and have time to get used to the idea, I’ll be able to stay longer than a few minutes.
Instead, I’d spent most of the afternoon hiding out at the local fishing hole, keeping to myself. A couple of the guys tried to bring me into the conversation but they gave up soon enough.
It’s nighttime now, as I walk through the hospital doors and I can’t help wondering where Dahlia has gone. Would she go and stay with Reece, or maybe Mara would help her out. I’m not sure I even want to know the answer considering he would be staying with her.
Probably be my luck to bump into her at the hospital, after all, she is a close friend of Mia’s. Surely she’d come to the hospital to visit her friend and to meet Mia’s son.
Liam rang me a couple of hours ago, letting me know his son had arrived, and both mama and baby were doing well.
I hate being inside hospitals with their long corridors, small rooms and the sterile smell that gets up your nose and clings to your clothes.
But Liam’s a good friend and hearing him on the phone, all choked up but full of excitement, had me heading here. I’d have been here earlier but I’d wanted to give them some time together before showing up. No doubt their immediate families would have been here then as well.
As I leave the elevator, I spot Phoenix and Thalia in conversation. Thalia sees me first and smiles, followed by Phoenix.
I hold out my hand to Phoenix. “Congratulations. Are you Uncle Jack or Uncle Phoenix?” I ask.
“Jack, and thanks.” He grins and pulls Thalia under his arm.
“You might want to go in now, Ryder,” Thalia suggests. “We’ve just come out and I know Phoenix’s parents will be here soon.”
“I will if you’ll direct me to the right room, and thanks.”
“That one.” Thalia points at the door behind them.
“If I don’t see you before, I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
“You will,” Phoenix confirms, as he walks toward the elevator with Thalia.
Deception is playing at Kix tomorrow evening and, as usual, all the tickets have sold out. They have no ambition to take their band on the road, and only want to keep it local now that they’re all settling down with their women and jobs.
I don’t blame them, really.
Knocking on the door Thalia indicated, I hear a soft, “Come in,” so I enter, and can’t help the grin splitting my face when I’m greeted with Mia sitting on the one comfortable chair in the room cuddling her son.
I click the door closed and move toward her. I crouch down and get a look at the little fellow. Joshua Henry has a head of dark hair, and looks just like his mama. His features are soft in sleep and his tiny hands are curled into a fist as they rest against Mia.
“He’s beautiful, Mia. Congratulations.”
Mia smiles. “Thank you, and he is, isn’t he? I can’t stop looking at him.”
“I’m not surprised.”
“The nurse told me it’s best to start them off as I mean to go on, by letting him sleep in his crib instead of my arms.” She smiles. “But I need to hold him.”
“I’d want to do that as well.”
The image of Dahlia and her swollen belly fills my mind while I’m watching Mia cuddle her son.
If only . . .
“Hey, where did you go?”
“Sorry.” I sit on the chair next to Mia. “Just thinking.”
She gives me a knowing look. “Hmm. Have you spoken to her yet?”
I shake my head. “She wanted to talk, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t ready.”
“Will you ever be ready?”
“I don’t know.”
She briefly grabs my arm. “Wait a minute. Is she in town?”
“She was at Kix, earlier,” I admit with a heavy heart.
Sadness crosses Mia’s features. “Ryder, please talk to her before it’s too late. She needs you.”
“Yeah, right. She needs me,” I scoff. “If she needed me she wouldn’t be with someone else.”
“She is—”
“Mia, I’ve . . . Oh, Ryder.” Liam comes into the room, and after kissing his wife and baby, glances at me.
Not sure what he’s expecting, I stand and hold my hand out. “Congratulations. He’s a beautiful boy. You’re lucky.”
Needing to leave and be alone, I add, “I’ll give you guys some time together.”
“Okay. Thanks for coming by,” Liam says.
“Yes, thanks Ryder . . . and please don’t leave it until it’s too late.”
I nod.
Exiting the room, I notice Reece about to get off the elevator as the doors open, but luckily, he’s distracted with Callie, so I shove into the restrooms. I sure as hell don’t want to face him inside a hospital. God knows what would happen.
Dahlia
“He’s beautiful, Mia.”
I feel choked up while holding Joshua. My emotions are all over the place and I want nothing more than to have Ryder’s arms wrapped around me like Liam’s are with Mia.
It would only take an apology from Ryder to get me back into his arms because I miss him so much.
Hearing a door close, I turn and don’t see anyone enter, but glancing back to Mia I realize how out of it I am; she’s alone.
“I sent Liam out so we can talk . . . Please tell me what’s going on.”
I hesitate, not wanting to bring my problems out while Mia has just given birth, but I should know better. She won’t rest unless I talk to her, so I admit, “He won’t talk to me. I tried and he was horrid.” I start to cry softly. “He thinks I’m with Max, my gay friend, and he won’t listen. Jace said he’s going to try later, but I don’t hold much hope, especially since I’ve asked Jace not to mention about the baby.”
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