Working Desires: A Dirty Office Romance Boxset

by Hazel Keys

  “How could you tell?” I asked, a little offended at how forward he was. But since I just admitted to being a lesbian, even though I’m straight, I felt I might as well continue the charade.

  “I got good gay-dar, he said with a wink.”

  “You’re kind of full of yourself, aren’t you?” I said with a half-smile, not really flirting at this point, but just trying to act like a confident lesbian would act.

  He laughed. “Sometimes. But usually I just say really stupid things. All part of being a guy. We get to be stupid. That’s in the rules!”

  I laughed softly and pretended to like Jake in a platonic way as a non-sexual acquaintance.

  The truth is I’ve always been a tomboy. Even though I could claim that he caught me in a bad moment, which he did, I think it’s safer to say that I just don’t dress up in general. I went through a teenage phase where I dressed down because I was tired of boys’ shenanigans. That phase eventually lasted all the way till now, when I’m in my late twenties.

  Now it’s a habit, and yes, maybe it’s work too. Working as a costumer exposes you to the mechanical side of beauty. I really despise the fact that the first thing I think when I see a handsome guy is “Oh, how’s my face?” And so it’s really ironic that the first time I met Jake, the answer was indubitably, “AWFUL!”

  Long story short, Jake has been my best friend WITHOUT benefits for five years now. I’ve listened to him chat on about his latest girlfriends and a few times even heard him entertaining company – yeesh T.M.I.!

  Over the years, any attraction to him I might have felt was washed away because of the fact that he thought I was gay, and well, I sort of pretended to be, just so I wouldn’t be dreadfully embarrassed.

  Fast-forward five years, I’d be triply, quadruply, embarrassed to admit to him the truth now. I have to keep up this stupid persona of Lesbian Stephanie or else he’ll never trust me again! And once he finds out I’m straight, immediately I become a big sexual threat that’s going to intimidate him and ruin our friendship.

  Sigh indeed. This is why a woman should dress up every morning…because of stupid situations like this!

  **

  Anyway the whole mess got started last week when I decided to ask Jake along to my Florida vacation. See, he and I do carpool sometimes for non-sexual purposes and I figured, what’s the harm in both of us going to Florida for the summer?Friends hanging out is cool…of course, my main intention was to see my brother and sister.

  Jake, I figured, would do his own thing. He’s a player and he’d probably pick up some girl at the beach, a logical prediction of what could happen.

  Now what actually happened…was a turning point in my life!

  Imagine the both of us relaxing on the plane, me falling asleep and feeling so at peace…

  And then nose dive! The plane is going to crash!

  The captain speaks…

  “Please ladies and gentlemen, stay calm. We’re just experiencing some major turbulence…but we’re doing our best to make your flight comfortable.”

  Just as I wake up I hear people freaking out and screaming. The stewardess is screaming at everyone, telling them to stay calm.

  And all I feel is a fucking nose dive! They can call it turbulence but it feels like we’re going down! Of course they’re not going to tell us if we’re all going to die! They will never admit that we’re dead, that would just be mass pandemonium!

  Oh my God! They’re telling people not to look out the window?! What the HELL? Oh shit we’re all going to die! We’re going to die! I’m not ready…I’m not ready…oh GOD I’m not reeeeeady!

  And then the most peculiar thing happened.

  Just as I was praying, swearing and practically going into a seizure of fear…

  Jake reached out and grabbed my hand. At that moment, everything around me seemed to fade out and I looked into his eyes. He stared at me—just for a moment—and then squeezed my hand.

  “STEPHANIE,” he said, his words seeming so loud and powerful even though he was speaking softly. “IT’S GOING TO BE OKAY. I PROMISE YOU.”

  He squeezed my hand and braced himself in the seat. I did the same and I trusted him with everything in me. I said a few more silent prayers and tried to think over my entire life, assuming this moment was really my last. At least I was dying in the hands of an attractive man. A very handsome and strong-minded man, and the more I realized that, every moment I looked over at him.

  Eventually, sure enough, we landed. I was fighting tears, as were many of the other passengers who got spooked that day. To Jake’s credit, he took it all in stride and even patted me on the back, asking if I was okay.

  I wasn’t and he could tell. The big lug decided to treat me to lunch and still played babysitter to me, calming me down and letting me know that all was good in the world.

  “I told you you’d be okay,” he said with a smile. “Statistically speaking, you’re just not going to die in a plane crash. And even if the plane crashes, you probably won’t die.”

  “I know…I just freaked out a bit.”

  “I noticed,” he said with a grin. “But you’re going to be fine.”

  “How did you know? That we were going to be okay?”

  “Statistically I just assumed.”

  “Statistically?” I said in disbelief. “I just don’t understand how you can be calm in the face of death.”

  “Well what are the other options? Freak out and jump up and down like a monkey?”

  “Yeah! Why not that?”

  He laughed. “Maybe I have too much pride. If you’re going to meet your maker you might as well be well dressed and as debonair as possible.”

  “I just…I dunno. It kind of woke me up. It made me realize…if this life is all that I have left…I’ve wasted it.”

  “Oh come on,” he said. “You have not wasted your life. What you call wasting is what normal people call living. Besides, I’m sure you have goals and stuff, right?”

  “Sort of…”

  “So just consider a near death experience as great motivation!”

  “Oh boy, you really are a positive thinker, aren’t you?”

  He smiled, that silly little grin that that instantly made me feel better. Made me feel alive.

  “Hey listen,” he said, looking once again into my eyes and talking sweetly and gutturally, with real feeling. “If you got changes to make, you make them. That’s a good thing. But don’t let people’s fears and their prejudice slow you down. Ignore them and win. Make your life something special…because living happily is the best revenge.”

  I almost wept right then and there. And I’m sure Jake, that silly lunkhead was talking about me being gay and people “accepting” me. But the reality was…

  I was very straight. I was living a lie with him. And as I looked into his eyes, so earnest, so genuinely concerned about my happiness—just as a friend!—I lost it. I fell in love with him at that moment. Never before had a man been so kind, so giving of his time and his feelings. Not since the day of my late father.

  I couldn’t do anything but nod and hide my eyes so he wouldn’t see the tears welling. I had never seen this side of Jake before. Now I realized I don’t ever want to see anything but this side of him again. I want to go through life with this kind of man as support. I want to share my life and make it better—with YOU, Jake.

  And oh God…that moment when you realize he still sees you as a friend. That he’s always seen you at your worst…he’s never even thought of you as a possibility. Romance strictly forbidden. And I did the worst thing possible—I fell in love with someone that didn’t want me.

  Way to go Stephanie, way to go!

  Chapter 3:Jake

  Stephanie had been acting weird for the last day. First that meltdown on the plane and then just acting all distant and goofy for hours after that. Then the kicker came when she—out of the blue—asked me a question.

  “Do you want to meet my family?”

  “Uhhh…” Not
really, I thought. I thought this was just a vacation where we would go our separate ways? I smiled. But she kept staring at me as if she were still having a fit and needing someone to hug her.

  “Yeah, why not,” I said blankly, but dammither eyes were practically emotionally blackmailing me.

  I’ve never actually socialized with Stephanie, even though we’ve always had a good relationship as neighbors and “buds”. I figured I owed her a favor as a friend, especially if it were some “coming out” thing with her family. That’s what friends do, they’re there for each other.

  So yeah I tried my best to be a good “date” for my friend and went and met her family. Her sister’s name was Cammie and her brother Connor. They were both blond, fit and in their late twenties. Cammie seemed cool, I loved the ponytail she had going on. They both dressed nicely, a bit of a preppie and sweater look to their grey and blue wardrobes.

  I went expecting a little bit of a boring evening, to be honest. Meeting a girl’s family…well, it’s usually not my cup of tea. And since this wasn’t really a date, I really didn’t know how to act.

  “So Stephanie,” Cammie said, eying us both in suspicion. “I really have to say…I didn’t picture you with this type of date. In fact, I don’t believe it.”

  “Hey, come on,” I said, standing up for Stephanie. “Don’t tease her. If she’s got something to tell you let her tell you when SHE wants to tell you.”

  Stephanie flinched and muttered. “Jake, it’s cool. Just chill.”

  “I mean think about how she feels,” I said, feeling righteous indignation. “Half of the world hates her. Just because she wants to be who she wants to be!Just because they don’t understand. All she wants is the freedom to love who she wants.”

  “Half of the world hates you, Stephanie?” Connor chuckled. “Good going.”

  “Well yeah,” I said. “I mean a lot of people have a problem with what she does.”

  Cammie nodded. “I have a problem with what she does. Dressing like a homeless person does tend to provoke people.”

  “She doesn’t do that!” I said, getting miffed. “She just dresses, you know, for her type.”

  “And you like her type?” Cammie said suspiciously. “You’re attracted to butch women?”

  “Well no, butch doesn’t do it for me…”

  “So why are you here?”

  “Because Stephanie needs a friend!” I said boldly, taking Stephanie into my arms. “Friends look out for each other. Always. Even when family doesn’t.”

  “What? Are you saying you’re her ‘friend’?”

  “Yes, yes, that’s what he’s saying,” Stephanie said nervously. “He’s my special friend. You know…my special friend.”

  Everyone looked confused…including me.

  “No, Stephanie,” I replied. “You make it sound like I’m mentally challenged. Don’t use the word ‘special’. I’m just saying, I’m her friend. That’s all you need to know. She has something to say to you and I think we should all be supportive.”

  “Wait a minute,” Connor said. “Are you telling me that you’re…gay?”

  “What do you think?” I said, thinking Connor finally got the point.

  “Oh…okay. I get it now. I admit, Jake, I do have gay-dar and you were definitely making some noise.”

  “Yeah…wait, what?”

  “Ohh, I see,” Cammie said. “Well I think it’s great, Jake. And I’m glad you’re coming out and being true to yourself.”

  “Yeah,” Connor said. “It’s not a choice. I support you, brother.”

  I dropped my mouth open in confusion. “What? You think I am…”

  “It doesn’t matter!” Stephanie said nervously, slapping me on the back. “It doesn’t matter who’s gay or straight. Guys, I didn’t come here for a big announcement. I just came here to say hi. And Jake was headed in the same direction. So there you go. We’re just chilling. No announcement to make.”

  “Yeah…” I said hesitantly. “We’re just friends.”

  “Oh, I see,” Cammie said. “So we’re in denial.”

  I sighed and pointed my finger. “Stephanie is not in denial. She knows what she wants. It just so happens she doesn’t want a handsome, charming man. And what’s wrong with that?”

  “Oh I definitely agree that you’re not handsome or charming,” Cammie said, giving me a snarky look.

  “Yes I am!” I corrected. “I happen to be very…you know, hot. If I say so myself.”

  Cammie raised her brow and smiled in sarcasm. “You have a dad-bod if you ask me.”

  “We’re talking about Stephanie!” I reminded them. “She’s my friend and you two need to be a little more supportive. That’s all I’m saying.”

  “Supportive of what exactly?” Cammie said. “Of wearing giant t-shirts and sweat pants? Is that a movement now?” Cammie sneered and started getting pissy. “Because if you ask me, people who wear sweatpants out in public should be thrown in jail!”

  Stephanie was laughing by now, but still red-faced. Poor kid was embarrassed. I’m sure she didn’t want to come out this way.

  “All right Jake, Connor, Cammie,” Stephanie said. “Let’s just agree to disagree, shall we?”

  “I don’t even know what the hell we’re disagreeing about!” Connor said.

  “You two just remember,” I said pointing my fingers and talking all big like Joe Pesci in his prime. “You only get one sister in life. You should treat her kindly. You should treat her with respect. I mean come on. Who cares what people do in bed together? It’s nothing. Lasts like five minutes.”

  Cammie raises her brow again.

  “Well, in my case a lot longer! I’m just saying…using a metaphor! I mean, Stephanie probably can get it done in five minute. She has fingers like a power drill! Er…at least that’s what I heard. I didn’t uh…find out first hand.”

  “Who is Jake again?” Connor asked in confusion.

  “I have no idea what these two perverts are talking about,” Cammie said.

  “Yeah of course not, because you’re ignorant!” I replied. “Come on, Stephanie. Let’s go both go down to the bar and pick up some chicks.”

  Connor and Cammie stared at each other.

  “All right! That’s great, thanks honey!” Stephanie shooed me outside and we left. I looked back in confusion. That seemed to be the mood that evening.

  She turned to her kin and gave one last goodbye. “Sorry…I’ll explain everything later.”

  As we walked away, I shook my head and sighed. “You know you don’t need their approval.”

  “Jake…I think you’re a little confused. My brother and sister…uh, they know I’m gay. They’re totally on board. Okay?”

  “Oh…I see. So what the hell were we talking about?”

  “I don’t know. I think something got lost in the translation.”

  “Whatever…” I said, still not quite getting what just happened.

  “But it’s still really cool that you would stick up for me like that. You know if I were…uh…I mean, if you know.”

  “Well yeah, we’re best buds, Stephanie. Don’t ever forget that.”

  I smiled at Stephanie.

  “Now if you’ll excuse me,” I said with a grin. “I’m going to go find a date.”

  Stephanie frowned.

  What is up with her today? I thought to myself, shaking off the weird vibes.

  **

  Now this is where things went from weird to total disaster. The more I think about it, I’m pretty sure Stephanie was having some kind of mental breakdown. I mean she went from my super cool lesbian friend to this weird mother-type that just wanted to control my life.

  I still am not sure what happened but it started on the beach. I was talking to some two cute girls trying to start up a conversation. I was feeling good and they were laughing…

  And then all of a sudden Stephanie comes down to the beach wearing shorts and a shirt. When she finally got down and looked me in the eye, I swear, her exp
ression looked like jealousy. She was sending me a pissy face and dueling me for a reaction. What the hell?!

  “Hey,” Stephanie said to my two ladies. “You girls want to come back to my place and party?”

  “What?”

  “Steph…what are you…” I shook my head in disbelief.

  “Come on. Men always disappoint. But a woman really knows how to get down. Boogie, boogie. You feel me?”

  “Ummm…I’m not gay!” said the one on the left. I didn’t even get their names before Stephanie came down and invaded my turf!

  “Me either,” said the other girl.

  “Oh that’s what they all say,” Stephanie said, smiling and acting a bit like a drunk man herself. I’m no expert at lesbian dating, but I’m pretty damn sure that’s not how you do it!

  The girls left and didn’t even give me a goodbye glance. Stephanie intentionally ruined my date! I was beside myself. Where was all this coming from? Since when was Stephanie a cock block? Was she aching for attention or did she just totally suck at meeting hot girls?

  No wonder the kid was depressed! She obviously needed a few lessons in trying to attract the same sex.

  “You’re ruining my trip!” I said to her. We argued all the way back to the condo. We had talked about sharing the two bedroom unit but at this rate, I was starting to think maybe two separate rooms was a better idea.

  “Sorry!” she said, still not comprehending why she was being such a troll. “I thought I was helping you.”

  “I don’t need any help, Steph! I think maybe you need some help. AND some therapy.”

  “Ohhh do you hate me?” she said with a sad face.

  I rolled my eyes. “I don’t hate you, darling, but can we agree on some ground rules? I don’t butt into your love life, you don’t butt into mine? Deal?”

  “Okay, got it. I think I was just bored. And it was definitely uncool of me to try and steal you away from your conquests for the night.”

  “Conquests? Get the hell out of here!” I said with a snicker.

  “So go. I promise I won’t interrupt you again.”