by Traci Hall
Her phone rang and she was annoyed at the interruption, until she saw that it was the police station. “Hello?”
“Teagan?”
“Yes.” Her heart thudded in remembrance of the theft. The danger and violation.
“It’s me, Colin Johnson. We caught them. A trio was ransacking houses along the canal.”
“Did you get my mother’s jewelry?” She didn’t care about the TV, and her backpack could be replaced.
“I don’t know what’s what, but everything is being catalogued. We’ll call again when you can come down to the station and identify the items.”
“Thank you, Colin,” she said, her shoulders bowing with relief.
“Just wanted to let you know that it is safe to go home. We’ll have a patrol car go by a few times but it’s fine.”
“I appreciate that.” Go home? She couldn’t just stay at Riley’s forever. Until her parents came back from Germany.
“I’d get that lock fixed as soon as possible though.”
“You’re the best, Colin. Uh, Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.”
He hung up and Teagan ended the call.
“Well?” Riley set his guitar aside.
“Colin said they’ll call when they have the stuff catalogued for people to identify. Three guys, he said. Robbing houses.” She pressed her hand to her stomach. “He said it would be safe for me to go home.”
“Do you want to?” Riley’s expression turned neutral.
The day went from beautiful to awkward. She wanted to hang out. Eat pizza and play music, maybe convince him to watch a Christmas movie with her—she’d make him peanut butter popcorn. Riley was special. Great. He made her feel cared for. They’d known each other a week, and he’d rocked her world.
“Riley, I can’t stay in South Florida.”
He frowned. “Nobody’s asking you to.”
Ouch. Maybe she’d imagined the emotion in his eyes earlier. “In that case…have you ever had popcorn drizzled with peanut butter?”
They watched a few black and white classics. Their parents had similar taste in old movies for the holidays. They drank eggnog and hot chocolate and Teagan made pizza from scratch. Being a baker’s daughter had its perks, like knowing how to whip up pizza dough that beat anything from delivery or a box.
They made out between shows, sometimes during, and fed each other. A magical interlude, Teagan thought. After a sappy romantic comedy, she handed him a bread stick with cheese sauce.
Riley deserved to have someone terrific in his life. “You’re twenty-eight,” she said. “Why aren’t you seeing someone seriously?”
“I figured I had a few years. I’m not even thirty yet. I thought you were anti-marriage, anyway?”
“I’m not marriage material. Home and hearth and dinners on time.” She tugged at the curl over his ear. “But you, Riley, are meant for all of that.”
He scooted out of her reach. “I don’t know what that means.”
“Tell me about your last serious girlfriend.”
“Really?”
“We aren’t dating,” Teagan reminded him. “I’m asking as a friend.”
“A nosy friend.”
She laughed. “Still...”
He put a pillow behind his head and sank into the cushions. “Just out of college. She was another teacher. We went to New York on vacation and she fell in love with Central Park more than me.”
“What?” She couldn’t imagine that at all.
“It’s true. She asked if I’d be willing to move to New York and I said I liked Florida. She didn’t. She never came back.”
“Wow.” Teagan tried to figure that one out. “People are weird. Was it moving you had a thing against or just leaving Florida?”
“I’d moved from Kansas. I don’t mind change, if that’s what you think. But I had a job interview with Watkins that meant benefits right out of college. I wanted that job, you know?”
Teagan nodded. From what she’d seen of Riley, he was responsible. A planner.
“It was an impulsive decision on her part that she regretted later. She wanted to get back together, even offered to move back to Florida. I said no, thanks.”
“Why?”
“She left me for a park.”
“She left you for something that she thought would be exciting. She wanted you to join her.”
“But it wasn’t practical. Decent paying jobs for a new teacher are hard to come by.”
Where was his inner rock star? “I heard you sing, and play. You have talent. What is your secret dream?”
“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a secret.”
“Funny. Stick with the one-liners.”
“Tell me yours,” he said. “Then maybe I’ll tell you mine.”
“Backpacking Europe.”
“That’s not a secret. You’ve told a quarter million loyal viewers.”
She chuckled. “True.” Tapping her lower lip, Teagan dug down into her psyche. Secret dream? Secret desire? “I can’t come up with anything off hand.”
“Well, think about it. Maybe we can try again later.”
“Later?” Teagan questioned. “My parents come back in ten days. I’ll be gone in thirteen.”
*****
Riley knew he shouldn’t push, but she just pissed him off with her insistence on going out of the damn country. She didn’t understand that what they shared was unique. He couldn’t even consider that she might not feel the same.
If that was the case, then he’d work harder to get her to fall for him too.
It required her presence, though.
He kissed her, making love to her on the couch so thoroughly that they knocked over the popcorn. She napped, exhausted, as a black and white movie played in the background.
As he watched her sleep, he caressed an auburn curl. Her hair was soft and now she smelled like his shampoo. What else had she said about him?
If he finished watching her vlog, did that make him narcissistic?
Or just an idiot?
Riley opened his laptop, plugged in the headphones and made sure to face away from the couch so that if Teagan woke up, this time he’d see her first.
He hit play.
And cringed. Over the next hour, she shared with her viewers her thoughts on his cuteness, his nerdy cuteness, his inability to sway her or change her mind from her true purpose.
Didn’t matter how good he’d be in the sack, she told them, she was not going to be persuaded to stay.
Had she been planning this? Was she really so cold-hearted that emotions didn’t enter into the equation?
Shit, shit.
He wasn’t a saint and she’d been honest from the start.
They had no promises between them. It wasn’t her fault that everything about her made his body sing. For the first time in months, he wanted to write new music. She challenged him to dream, when he knew that dreams were for later in life. After the work was done.
Her phone rang and he jumped up to silence it before it woke her. It wasn’t a ring, but a text.
Some guy named Lars, wanting to know if she was going to meet him for dinner, or not?
Shit, shit, shit.
Chapter Fifteen
The next morning, Riley was cold, distant. Before he’d been unable to keep his hands off of her, but now? It was like he’d woken up a different man. His mood swings might explain his single state.
Maybe he’d had her, and now was ready to move on. Teagan hadn’t pegged him as that sort of guy, but she’d been wrong before.
She let the tension build during the short ride back to her house.
Why break it, when this, as wonderful as it had been, wasn’t going anywhere? Maybe that was the cause of his snit. He’d wanted more, and she wasn’t willing to give it. Sacrifice her dreams to see where a relationship she didn’t want might go?
Teagan wasn’t that stupid.
He pulled up in front of her house.
“Want me to come in?
” He asked the question, making it clear he would but he was being polite.
“No.” She kept her voice cheerful. “The police found the guys. It’s fine.” Well, she was a little scared, but she’d deal with it.
“Keep your phone at hand,” he instructed. “Call if you suspect anything. 911.”
Wow. Not even his number? She must have done something truly awful to piss him off. Maybe he’d finished watching her YouTube videos?
Touchy. She didn’t need someone so damn sensitive in her world. Her parents would be home soon, and then she could get on with her life.
Teagan got out, grabbed her stuff from the back seat. “Thanks. For everything.”
He nodded and pulled off the minute she shut her car door.
Hmm. Just goes to show, she thought as he drove away. You just don’t know a person.
She didn’t blame him. Well. Sort of. He’d treated her like she’d done something wrong, and she hadn’t. Teagan made a practice of being true to her values. She didn’t lie, or cheat, or steal. If she could help it.
Her phone rang and she looked down, hoping in a silly girl way that it was Riley calling to explain his jerk behavior.
Lars. She hitched her bag up to her shoulder and answered. “Hello?”
“Hey. Why didn’t you answer me?”
“A random text about dinner?”
“And last night I texted you again.”
He had? Would that be enough to make Riley upset? Jealous over nothing.
Grr. What did it matter, honestly?
“I meant to answer. I’m busy though.”
“Okay. Mom made me ask. Your mom called her, doesn’t want her baby to be alone over the holiday. If you’d stop posting all of that crap about being angry at the world maybe you’d have a boyfriend.”
“Hey!” What did he know about those? “You watch my videos?”
“Used to. You could be funny. Don’t think I didn’t recognize some of those traits you hated. Muscle-bound jock monkey?”
She’d have to go back and watch those suckers again. “Sorry.”
“Now I got better things to do with my time.”
“Like what? Pump more iron?”
“It ain’t easy being Mr. Florida.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“Nope. That championship is going to be all mine. It takes dedication, hard work...”
“And steroids.”
“Nah,” he said. “I’m all natural, darlin’. I’ll show ya, if you want to mess around. Forget dinner, you know? A roll in the sack for old time’s sake?”
“You’re a charmer,” Teagan said. “I’ll have to pass. Thanks for calling, and good luck.”
She hung up, feeling slightly dirty. Maybe she’d been reckless in her youth, hurting when she lashed out, without meaning to.
Dropping her tote bag by the door, she unlocked it and poked her head in, flipping on all of the lights. “Don’t be a sissy,” she admonished herself. She had her phone on, her thumb hovering over 911 to send just in case.
A honk sounded behind her and she whirled, wondering if it was the police. Colin, maybe. Robbers, to her knowledge, didn’t announce themselves.
Riley? He parked and jumped out of his silver Acura. His hands stuffed in his pockets, he came toward her, his shoulders hunched. “Sorry about that.”
“What?” He hadn’t had to come back, but he was that good of a guy. Her heart told her head to take notice.
“Reacting emotionally and totally forgetting about being mature in a nerdy music teacher way.” He pulled his hands free, putting them behind his back.
“Stop,” she said, grateful that he’d shown up, hating that he couldn’t let that comment go. “I guess you saw a text from Lars about dinner?”
“Yeah. None of my business.”
“Well, that’s true. However since we’re sleeping together I’ll give you a pass.” She tossed her hair back. “You could’ve asked, you know.”
“It was bad enough that I finished the videos. You don’t hold back. I’m not sure how I feel about that.” He took his glasses off, rubbing the lenses on his t-shirt.
“That’s fair.” She swallowed, then gestured toward the open front door. “I’m not too proud to say thanks for coming back.”
“It was shitty of me to leave in the first place. I’ll take off once we get you settled.” He slid the frames back on, his mouth unsmiling.
“I don’t have the plague.” She walked inside the living room and set her bag down by the empty entertainment center. “In fact, nothing’s changed.”
“You’re wrong.” He righted the couch, fluffing the pillows. “Everything’s changed. I realized that I really care for you.” He looked at her, then away. “Lying to myself isn’t going to make my feelings disappear.”
“Damn it.” How to ruin a perfectly good thing. Feelings.
“Yeah.” He faced her, his hands stuffed in the front pockets of his jeans. “That was my sentiment exactly.”
*****
Riley watched the fear and gratitude ease from Teagan’s face and turn into annoyance. Well, too bad, he thought. Not like he could change the way he felt. She wasn’t the only one who could be brutally honest.
“Let’s go.” He went down the hall toward her bedroom and her parent’s room. The office, which held trophies and awards for baking. Destroyed by the robbers who’d broken into the Becker home with the sole goal of harm.
“Maybe it’s a sign,” Teagan said.
“What?” He looked around the room. At the mess that meant something to her parents. But not to her?
“That it’s time for them to move on. Retire. Start over.”
Cold-hearted.
No. She dashed a tear from the corner of her eye and walked carefully toward a row of smashed shelving. “Not all of them are ruined.” Lifting a gold plaque, she grinned through her tears. “Dad got this one after he made a life-sized gingerbread house, with furniture and everything. Gum drops, candy stars, licorice.”
Maybe she was trying to control her own feelings. “Sounds cool.”
“I was ten. Fourth grade.” She nodded at him. “My classmates thought I was so lucky. I remember being proud. And embarrassed.”
“I get it. Ten is awkward. Not a little kid, but still a kid.” He prayed for the day Mitch grew into his feet.
“Yeah. That morning Mom and I had gotten into a screaming fight over my socks. She thought they should match.”
“You didn’t.” No surprise there.
“Nope.” Her chin inched upward.
“Again, that’s pretty normal. Doesn’t explain your mutiny from the family unit. You were pretty hard in the first few years of videos.”
She flushed. “I’ve been hearing that a lot lately.”
“I mean, it looks like you had a traditional childhood. A fortunate one. Two parents who loved you.”
Holding up a hand in a halt gesture, she shook her head. “Listen, enough with the guilt, okay? I can’t change the past.” She walked past him out of the room and back into the hall. “You don’t know what it was like.”
“No. I don’t.” Riley prided himself on being fair. Was he judging her out of his own hurt feelings?
“Mom gave strict a new look. She believed in spanking. Always yelled. It was her way, or no dinner. No television. As I got older, no phone, no car. I got straight A’s. Anything less was a major disappointment. I hated that.”
She opened the door to her parent’s room, looked around at the chaotic destruction and shut it again, coming nose to chest with Riley. “I had to get away from them in order to find my voice. Mine.” Narrowing her eyes, she clarified, “Any creativity was poured into the bakery. We were the Beckers. The three musketeers. I’m not saying that I had a shitty childhood. I am explaining why I was so loud my first few years. So opinionated. I finally got to be myself, and there were people out there in the vlogosphere who wanted to hear what I had to say. Who applauded my independence. Who supported my transi
tion as I discovered me.”
“I understand,” he said. But he didn’t really.
“Do you? I am living my dream. Before those assholes stole my backpack, I was prepared to leave. To travel and see the world and report back.”
“You have a following.” Riley stepped away, aching to hug her, hold her, but he knew it wasn’t good for his heart. Caring for Teagan would be like loving a butterfly. She’d need lots of room to flutter.
Could he allow himself to be a part of that?
Too risky. Dangerous. It didn’t make sense.
“I don’t have a secret dream,” she told him. “What you see, is what you get.”
She opened the hall closet door, peeked inside, and pulled out a thick photo album that had loose pictures falling free and sticking out.
His mother was more organized. Each picture taped in place, nothing crooked.
“I’m glad those are safe.” More important than jewelry.
She nodded, pointing to the photos framed against the wall. “Our hall of shame. Us three Beckers of Becker’s Bakery.”
Riley had already memorized each of the pictures, progressing from the three of them with Teagan as a baby to one where she must have been a senior in high school. Smiling to unsmiling. Bright red hair toning down to gorgeous auburn. Rosy cheeks, sparkling bright green eyes.
As if she was meant to be an elf, but like in that old Santa Claus movie, the elf that wanted to be a dentist. She fought against being a baker.
He began to understand, truly.
Understanding didn’t change the facts. Teagan was who she was, he was who he was, and she was too Teagan for him to handle.
Would she change? He’d seen the progression of her vlogs as she’d gotten older and more secure in herself. She’d only be stronger with time. “It’s pretty common for kids to move away in order to become themselves. Then it’s a matter of fitting back into the family dynamic as an adult.”
“Right.” She led the way into the living room and the couch, setting the album on the coffee table.
“I mean, maybe instead of fighting it, running away, you could stay and be you. Your mom would eventually accept it.” She never complained about her dad, so Riley assumed he was the more relaxed of the two.