The word hung between them in the dark summer night. For a heartbeat or two, Connor thought she might crack.
"Okay." Her voice was soft. "Sorry to bother you." With that, she turned and walked off, her footsteps quiet.
"You never bother me, Jess," he said to her back.
She didn't answer. Of course not. Far be it from Jessica Dunn to make a scene or a declaration.
*
JESSICA SAW THAT going differently. Much differently. She'd actually been pretty confident Connor was going to be really, really happy with her offer, probably because she was an idiot.
You never bother me, Jess.
After all she put him through, he could say something like that. He was right to want more. She couldn't blame him.
Life was a little weird these days. Her father had taken Davey off for the day, and Jess had spent the time unpacking and arranging. Her new house was adorable, bigger than the rental. She loved being in the Village with all its happy bustle. Davey had more freedom; he could walk to the green without her, and the shopkeepers all knew him and made him feel welcome. Lorelei had to stop giving him a free cupcake every day, though. Too much sugar.
But she hadn't realized how much the noise would carry from the lake with the summer people and their boats and parties. She hadn't realized how a room could echo if it was too empty. Or, strangely enough, how much the smaller place on Academy Street had felt like home.
It was just new. She'd get there. After all, she owned her own home on a street she'd always loved. That was her name on the deed. The first person in her family ever to be a homeowner.
But it didn't pack the thrill she'd always thought it would.
And then there was work. For the first time ever, Jess didn't love going to Blue Heron.
It was Marcy. Funny, how one person could change the dynamic so much. Jess wanted to get past it, but good God in heaven, the woman annoyed her! Constantly bursting into Jessica's office uninvited to talk about what a great job she--Marcy--was doing. Constantly laughing that hacking laugh on the phone. If she said I kid you not one more time, Jess was fairly sure her head would explode.
On Wednesday morning, they sat around the big table in the conference room for a staff meeting. Prudence, Jack and Mr. Holland were out in one of the barns; they used to come to staff meetings, and Mrs. Johnson would make her famous lemon cake, and sometimes Faith would pop in, too.
That hadn't happened in a long time. Now it was just Honor, who looked a little green with morning sickness, Marcy, who was talking talking talking; Ned, who was staring out the window; and Jess herself.
She waited for Marcy to finish congratulating herself on last weekend's wedding. Jess had an idea to pitch--an exclusive foliage tour of the vineyard in October with a special dinner up at the Barn afterward. Very pricey, very exclusive, since the Hollands wouldn't want dozens of people tramping through their fields and forests.
Finally, Marcy finished. "Okay," Jess said. "I was--"
"Oh, and one more thing," Marcy said. "I was thinking that we could totally get a foliage piece into New Jersey Lifestyle," Marcy said. "Get people up from New Jersey, it's like, hey, New Jersey, get off your ass and come on up, okay? We've got wine! We could put together this special tour of the vineyard for October, show off the trees, maybe do a dinner at the Barn. What does everyone think?"
How did she do that? How did she manage to scoop every idea Jess had had lately?
"And sure, foliage, who cares, everyone's got it, but we here at Blue Heron have something a little special, don't we? The Liberty maple."
Jess's skin prickled.
The Liberty maple. The tree Prudence had told her about, the one the first Holland had planted as a sign of his faith in the future.
The tree the Hollands didn't talk about except to their best friends. She looked at Honor, who was frowning.
"Right?" Marcy went on. "I mean, who else has a two-hundred-and-thirty-year-old tree planted by their ancestor, the war hero? So we could do this special wine called Liberty maple muscadet or something, Liberty maple merlot, it really wouldn't matter, and we could--"
"How do you know about that tree?" Honor asked.
Marcy stopped talking. "Excuse me?"
"How do you know about the Liberty maple?"
Holy crap. Jess's mouth fell open. "You hacked into Honor's computer," she said.
There was a beat of silence.
"What? I did not!" Marcy's eyes darted between Honor and Jessica. Her face flushed, a deep red.
Got you, Jessica thought. "And mine," she said.
"Um...okay, chill, Jessica. I can't remember who told me about the tree. Prudence, I guess. Maybe Faith. Anyway--"
"My sisters did not tell you about that tree," Honor said, her voice glacier cold. Ned wore a rare scowl on his face. "Nor did anyone in this family."
Marcy didn't answer. Her flush had spread down to her chest, leaving blotches of red on her neck.
"I never put it together," Jessica said. "But you've come up with quite a few ideas that were awfully familiar. The story on the new grape varietal, the sales retreat, now the foliage tour and dinner. You've been on my computer, reading my files. But the Liberty maple...there is nothing on my computer about that. That must've come from Honor's."
"I don't know what you're talking about, Jessica. I just... I had an idea. Sorry. I thought ideas were encouraged here."
"Holy shit, you did, didn't you?" Ned said. "You little weasel."
"You're fired," Honor said calmly.
"You can't fire me," Marcy sputtered.
"I just did. Ned, please escort Miss Hannigan from the premises."
"Hells, yeah. That sounds fun. Let's go, Marcy."
They left. Marcy, for once, speechless.
Honor and Jess looked at each other. "I couldn't stand her," Honor said, and she started to laugh. "She had a one-year contract with us, and I was counting the days. Good for you, Jess. Well done. I better call our lawyer, but thank you."
*
JESS SPENT THE rest of the afternoon writing up the job description for a new event planner. Then, because Honor was the most efficient person on earth, a computer forensics expert came in. It wasn't hard to prove; Marcy had accessed the computers of Ned, Jess and Honor and in some cases, just copied files in their original state and rewritten them as separate documents, leaving the originals right there in the folder.
She'd also forged her own reference letters.
"This is on me," Honor said. "I hired her. Call it pregnancy brain. From now on, my dad gets to hire anyone new."
"What about me?" Ned asked. "Can't I hire people?"
"You didn't find Jessica." Honor smiled, then said, "Oh, hang on," and ran for the bathroom. A minute later, they heard her puking.
"I think I'm gonna have another cousin pretty soon," Ned said with wink.
Jess smiled. "I'd better get back to work."
"Fine. Shame me into working on this gorgeous summer day. Oh, hey, another beautiful woman. How's it going, Colleen?"
Jess looked up. Colleen had Isabelle in her arms and a rather frantic look in her eye. "Hi, Colleen. Here to see your mom? She's not working today."
"Nope. Ned, out you go." Colleen pushed past him into Jess's office and sat down. "I have to nurse."
"Please let me stay."
"I'm telling Lucas you said that."
Ned flinched. "I'll give you some privacy," he said, closing the door.
Colleen yanked down her shirt, did something to her bra and maneuvered the baby in place. She winced, then visibly relaxed. "Okay. Good. I can breathe again. So. My brother."
Jessica sat down. "Yes."
Colleen's eyes narrowed. "First of all, I know everything. The whole history."
"Really?"
"No. But I know enough. You and him, all this time. And then he proposes, and you turn him down, and I get that, I do, because he's a dolt and he rushes into things. And I did punish him by setting him up with those losers a
nd buying you some time, so you owe me there."
"Um...thanks?" She wasn't completely sure what Colleen was talking about.
"But Jess..." Colleen's voice softened. "He loves you."
She nodded. There was that vise again, clamping down on her throat.
"So what's the problem? I know you love him. I mean, you never once slept with him in high school. And you haven't been with anyone else except him since. Have you?"
Leave it to Colleen to know everything.
"And now Davey even likes him, and believe me, that wasn't easy. Do you know how patient Connor is? He isn't!" The baby squeaked at the sound of her mother's raised voice. "He isn't," Colleen whispered. "Not at all. Except with Davey. And you. So if you're just gonna sit there and let him find someone else, well, I seriously misjudged you." She popped the baby off her breast and switched sides. "Sorry about this, by the way. Now you've seen my boobs. Congratulations. So. Back to Connor. Go get him, Jess! I mean, what the hell?"
"He turned me down," Jess whispered.
"He what?"
"He turned me down. I asked him to get back together, and he said no."
Colleen frowned at that. "Oh. This surprises me."
They sat there in silence for a minute or two, the only sound of little Isabelle chugging away.
If Colleen had nothing to add, Jess was pretty screwed.
She swiveled her chair a little, her throat aching. The view of the vineyard stretched out before her. Honor and Tom were standing by one of the barns, talking to Jack, Honor's little dog biting at Tom's shoelaces. Up the hill were Prudence and her father in the 1780 Rieslings.
Beyond that was the Liberty maple, its branches wide and graceful, the leaves lush and green, rippling and bobbing in the breeze. Planted all those years ago, because one man had trusted that his family would thrive on this land.
Trust had never come easily to Jessica. But she had to hand it to the first Holland.
He'd been right.
She'd asked Connor to get back together, but nothing else. She'd had no faith in the future.
"Colleen," Jess said, not looking away from the tree, "is Connor working tonight?"
"Yep. He's been working every night."
"So he'd be there in, say, an hour?" She turned to face Colleen.
Colleen started to smile. "I can make sure of it."
"I'd appreciate that. Take as long as you need here. I have to run."
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
JESSICA DUNN HAD not said the words I love you to anyone other than her brother in roughly twenty-five years.
She had never asked for vacation time.
She had never asked for a favor.
She had certainly never asked someone to marry her.
She was doing all of these things today.
The first person she talked to was Honor. Then Mr. Holland, the younger. Then Pru, then Keith. Then she called Levi and asked him to get a favor from the mayor's office.
Then she drove home to talk to Davey.
This was the most important favor of all.
Davey and their father were sitting in the backyard, laughing. "Jess!" Davey said. "Watch Chico Three! He can do a new trick. Chico, climb the tree. Climb the tree. Climb the tree, boy! You can do it!" Chico ran around the small yard, failing to climb the tree. "Well, he did it before," Davey said.
"He did. He made it to the crook," their father agreed.
"Dad, can I have a minute alone with Davey?" she asked. It still felt strange to call Keith Dad, but it also felt good. He nodded and went inside.
Davey bounced a tennis ball for Chico, who caught it neatly in his mouth, then dropped it at Davey's feet so Davey would do this a thousand or so more times. They were a match made in heaven, those two.
"Davey," Jess said, and suddenly her eyes were filled with tears.
"Are you sad?" he asked.
"No," she said. Then, after a beat, she added, "A little." The truth was, she had no idea how to ask him this. She'd never planned on it being anything but the two of them.
Her brother put his arm around her. "Are you lonely?"
Sometimes, she realized, she was as bad as anyone, assuming her brother couldn't understand certain things. Maybe Connor was right. No, he was definitely right. She needed Davey to need her. "A little bit. Yes."
"Maybe we should get another dog," he suggested, bouncing the ball for Chico.
She swallowed. "I was thinking, actually, that maybe we should get another person."
"Like Ned?"
"Well..." Here goes nothing. "I was thinking I might marry Connor." She bit her lip. "I would really love to marry him." Her heart shuddered. Faith in the future. Faith in the future.
"So he would live with us?" Davey asked, bouncing the ball again.
"Yes."
"Every day?"
"Yep."
"Where would he sleep?" Another bounce for Chico.
"With me. In my room."
"So gross," Davey said, and Jess laughed shakily. Her brother looked at her a minute, those long, heartbreaking lashes.
"Do you remember when I had my appendix taken out?" she asked.
"Yes. You were sick in the hospital, and Gerard stayed with me."
"That's right. And after that, I had to think about who would take care of you if I couldn't. You know, if I got sick again."
"Or if you died," he supplied.
"Right." Always blunt, her Davey. "I picked Connor."
Davey looked at her. "Why?"
"I knew he'd do a good job. Even though back then, you didn't like him, and you were scared of him, I knew he'd take good care of you."
"How'd you know that?"
She surreptitiously wiped her eyes. "Because he's always taken such good care of me." She swallowed. "So what do you think? Can I marry him?"
If he said no, that would be that. She'd have to deal with no, because Davey had to come first. She owed him that, and more important, she wanted that. So if he said--
"Okay," he said, then rubbed his nose with the back of his hand.
"Really?" Her heart leaped, and she sucked in a fast breath.
"Sure. I guess. Want a turn?" He handed her the tennis ball, and she threw it, Chico streaking after it.
She took Davey's hand, which was sticky with drying dog drool. "I'll still love you best," she whispered.
It was true. Since the day she'd first seen her brother's tiny, squalling face, her life had been defined. Everything had changed that day, when Jessica Dunn became a big sister. She grew up. She took care of someone. She was a hard worker and protective and focused because Davey needed her to be.
Everything good about her was born the day he was.
And even though she wanted to marry Connor so, so much, her heart was breaking a little. It had always been just the two of them. Her and Davey, all these years, from the trailer park to the rental house to finally making it here to their little house in the Village. The two of them together...that had always worked. Even when it was hard.
Three...three was a giant unknown.
Or maybe it was just faith in the future. Maybe she was just planting her roots.
"I love Chico best," Davey said. "And you. And Dad, and Miranda. And Ned, but I don't love Ned as much as I love Chico."
"So maybe we could go to O'Rourke's. What do you say?"
"Okay! Can I have nachos?"
"You sure can." She hugged him hard and kissed his cheek.
"Stop it," he said.
She kissed him again anyway, and again and again, until he wriggled away, laughing and wiping his face.
*
WHEN SHE GOT to O'Rourke's an hour later, her father and brother right behind her, Jessica was shaking. Hard. Visibly. It seemed like her legs might give out with every step. Her heart was racing so fast it was quite possible she was going to faint.
Her father put his hand on her shoulder.
Colleen was there with Lucas and the baby, Levi and Faith and little Noah at the
same table. Colleen gave her a smile and a thumbs-up.
Honor and Tom and Charlie were at another table, along with Mr. Holland and Mrs. Johnson, and Marian Field, the mayor of Manningsport. Pru and Carl were at the bar with Jack and Emmaline.
Pru came over, smiling. "Maid of honor, you hear? Don't you dare pick my prettier sisters. Come on, Davey, sit with us. You, too, Keith."
"Will you be okay, Dad?" Jess asked. "Being at the bar?"
"I'm fine, sweetie." He smiled and followed Pru.
Gerard, Ned, Lorelei, Connor's parents and their spouses and awesome little Savannah...the whole frigging town was here.
The shaking got worse. Hopefully, she wouldn't throw up.
She went into the kitchen. Connor was at the stove, Hannah was scraping a plate, one of the busboys was washing a big pot, and Rafe was whipping something with a whisk. "Hello, beautiful Jessica," he said.
Connor glanced up, then did a double take. "Hey."
"Hi," she said, her voice cracking. The kitchen was too small. Too crowded. Fainting was a definite possibility. Was there enough air in here? "Hey. Uh...can you come out here for a second?"
Rafe slid into his spot at the stove. "I got this, boss."
Connor wiped his hands and held the kitchen door for her. She went out and stopped in the little oasis between restaurant and kitchen, and stood just in front of the door, right where orders were passed from the kitchen. Ask him in front of everyone, Pru had advised. Show him you mean business.
She swallowed, her throat so dry it clicked.
Connor frowned. "What's the matter, Jess? Is Davey okay?"
"He's right over there," she whispered. "At the bar. He's fine."
"What can I do for you?" he asked. He glanced at the crowded restaurant, then back at her.
This was the moment. She twisted her ring. "Um, Connor... I was wondering if you'd...uh...marry me."
Though they were not very gracefully said, she saw the words hit him.
He didn't move. His expression didn't change. He didn't even blink.
It seemed to get very quiet.
"When?" he asked. "In another decade or so?"
"I was thinking tonight. Now. Now-ish."
His eyebrows raised. "Really."
"Yep."
"And why do you want to marry me, Jess?"
"Because...because..."
She looked into his eyes, and suddenly, the shaking was gone. "Because I've loved you since I was twelve years old," she said.
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