by Nicola Marsh
‘Okay, okay, hang on to your baby bonnet.’
He opened an eye and squinted at her. ‘Actually, that conference call mightn’t be a bad idea. Save you the trouble of getting onto the phone and spreading the news the minute I walk out of here.’
‘Funny guy.’ She waggled her finger at him in the same way he’d seen her admonish the twins countless times before. ‘Weeell? What’s going on with you two? And, more importantly, when do we get to meet her?’
Opening his eyes, he sat up and reached for an apricot, cramming it into his mouth and chewing quickly, aware his sis wouldn’t hold out much longer. Curious cats had nothing on her.
Taking a slug of water, he leaned across the table and sent her a conspiratorial wink. ‘What’s going on? We’re back together, that’s what.’
Jodi squealed and clapped her hands. ‘I knew it! That’s brilliant, I’m so happy for you.’
‘I’m happy, too,’ he said and meant it.
When he’d first located Cam and put his plans for the house into action, he’d hoped the powerful connection they’d once had would still be alive, that she’d be willing to hear him out and take another chance on them. Now they were a couple again, he could hardly believe his luck.
‘I’ve never seen you like this,’ Jodi said, her curiosity evident in her lowered voice, for his youngest sister never spoke in anything lower than a bellow. ‘I’m really looking forward to meeting the woman who can make you look like that!’
‘You’ll meet her soon enough.’
When he’d had enough time to warn her about the Andrews clan and the overwhelming barrage of noise, warmth and bear hugs she’d be at the receiving end of.
Jodi tilted her chin up in the classic challenging pose of all the Andrews sisters. ‘When?’
Smiling, he pushed the fruit platter across to her. ‘Here, junior needs his or her daily dose of vitamins.’
‘Don’t try to distract me, it won’t work.’ She popped a plump raspberry into her mouth, wincing slightly at its tartness. ‘I want to meet your wife.’
‘You will.’
He just wanted her to himself for a bit longer. After six years apart, six years too long, was that too much for a guy to ask?
‘So why the funny look when I mentioned you two having kids?’
He should have known. Jodi would never let up, but he’d be damned if he sat here and discussed Cam’s medical history with his nosy sister.
‘Just leave it alone, Jode. We’ve only just reunited, so give us a break, okay?’
She fixed him with a shrewd stare, her mouth opening in readiness to pump him for more information and he held up a hand.
‘Not another word. Change the subject or I’ll make sure you don’t meet Cam for the next year.’
‘You’re no fun,’ she huffed, sending him a killer glare as she nibbled a dry biscuit. ‘You can’t blame me for being curious.’
‘Patience, Sis, patience. You’ll meet her soon enough.’
As for divulging the rest, there was no way he’d be sharing their personal business with his family. The Andrews family was just that: one big happy family with kids taking a starring role.
If Cam already had doubts about his devotion to her without the bonus of children, he didn’t need his rowdy family poking their prying noses in where they didn’t belong and adding to her skittishness.
Jodi frowned. ‘Okay, but you better make it soon. Otherwise I’ll definitely get Sandy, Mon and Mum onto you. And you won’t stand a chance of holding us all at bay.’
‘Too right.’
He chuckled, pushing the fruit platter closer to her as he stood. ‘Now, eat up while I go and spend some time with those gorgeous kids of yours.’
As he headed for the sandpit, he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d ever have any kids of his own…and coming to the same conclusion he had when Cam had first told him. If he had her in his life, it wouldn’t matter. Nothing would, as long as they faced it together.
‘You shaved,’ Camryn accused, running a fingertip along Blane’s smooth jaw. ‘And you’re wearing designer jeans and a snazzy shirt! Why didn’t you tell me to dress up?’
As if she wasn’t in enough of a tizz meeting his family. Now she’d be inappropriately dressed, too.
He laughed and ran a hand over her hip, gliding over the summer cotton dress she’d finally flung on after pulling out half her wardrobe, his sensual touch going a long way towards calming some of her nerves.
‘You look gorgeous. And it’s not dressy. I just thought you might like to see me in something other than work jeans and T-shirts.’
‘Actually, I like seeing you without any clothes,’ she purred, sliding a hand up his chest and leaning into him, inhaling as she did so, reassured by his familiar crisp cedar scent.
He laughed and pulled her in for a swift kiss. ‘Hmm…I’m sure that would go down a treat with my family.’
His family…She’d been steeling herself all week, ever since she’d agreed to accompany him to this barbecue.
He’d made it sound casual at the time, just a small get-together, and, while she was curious after hearing so much about the Andrews family, she couldn’t help but worry.
What if they didn’t like her? It wasn’t as if she’d had much practice playing happy families lately.
Drawing back, he rubbed her arms up and down. ‘Hey, it’s not going to be so bad, you’ll see.’
‘How much have you told them about me?’
‘Enough.’
He winked and, grabbing her hand, tugged her gently towards the ute. ‘Come on, they’ll love you.’
That was what she was afraid of. He loved his family, had always been close to them, so she was betting his family knew about his dreams for kids, too. So where did that leave her?
She’d been honest with him on that score, and, while he’d said all the right things after their candid chat at his house, she’d caught him staring at families with kids on the odd occasion, a wistful expression on his ruggedly handsome face. That look had terrified her, as it had confirmed what she’d suspected for a while now. She would never be enough for him no matter how many times he said otherwise.
Not that she thought for one second he didn’t mean it, for Blane was nothing but sincere. But what if he grew to resent her? What if the endless dramas they went through to have kids—and still failed—put a strain on their marriage they could never recover from? Or the absolute kicker: what if he left her again if she couldn’t give him the family he wanted?
‘They’ll love you if you lose that mournful expression, that is.’
Tweaking her nose, he brushed a tender kiss across her lips, and she smiled up at him, slinging her favourite plum carryall over her shoulder. ‘I’m ready.’
‘That’s my girl.’
Handing her up into the ute, he deliberately grazed her bare calf as he withdrew, the simple touch combining with his smouldering stare to set her heart thumping. As if it wasn’t jumping around enough.
Loving how quickly and thoroughly he could turn her on with a look and the barest of touches, she sent him a seductive peep from beneath lowered lashes.
‘We don’t have to stay too long, do we?’
She toyed with the hem of her dress, plucking at the scalloped edge, smoothing it where it ended on her knees, enjoying his slightly glazed expression as he gripped the steering wheel and started the engine.
‘If you keep looking at me like that we won’t even make it there.’
‘Okay, I’ll behave.’
She laid a hand on his thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze, enjoying the flexing of hard muscle beneath her palm, all too aware of exactly how that muscle felt without the denim covering. ‘For now.’
Chuckling, he pulled out into the heavy city traffic, his concentration focused on navigating the traffic-logged roads around the Docklands while she tried to keep her mind off the constant nagging worry that the kids issue was bigger than he was willing to acknowledge.
&
nbsp; Camryn’s face ached.
Her cheeks were stiff and her mouth hurt from too much smiling. Blane’s family were amazing. They’d welcomed her, chatted with her, plied her with food, showered her with attention, and she’d smiled through it all until her gut had seized and her heart bled as they’d fielded the inevitable ribbing question for a married couple: ‘so when are you two lovebirds having kids?’
Blane had deflected that one nicely, but she’d caught the significant look passing between his folks, as if judging her for possibly not wanting kids.
Well, she’d have to get used to it. Either that or tell a bunch of people she’d only just met her personal problems, and she had no intention of doing that yet.
She might have laughed at the incessant teasing from his sisters and relaxed in the sprawling homestead on a half-acre block in outer suburbia, but they still weren’t her family.
Her family…It was times like this she missed her folks, her mum in particular. They’d always been close, she’d always confided in her, and during her harrowing health ordeal she’d wished for her mum’s comforting hugs too many times to remember.
Ever since Blane had sowed the seed that maybe, just maybe, her folks had done what they’d done out of love rather than an awful desire to control her, she’d been wondering if it was time to lay the past to rest, to head home and give her folks a chance to explain.
It wasn’t as if they hadn’t tried to breach the gap, but she’d slammed the door in their faces, metaphorically, every single time. Until they’d stopped trying.
Coming here, surrounded by genuine warmth and happiness and familial love, rammed home how much she missed her own family. Being welcomed by the Andrews family as Blane’s wife was lovely. Maybe it was time to reintroduce her family to her husband.
‘Hiding away won’t work. They’ll hunt you down eventually.’
Blane slid his arms around her waist from behind, enveloping her in welcome warmth, cuddling her close. ‘They love you, you know.’
Turning in the circle of his arms, she slung her arms around his neck. ‘Your family’s great.’
Some of the tension around his jaw eased as he snuggled her closer. ‘Can I let you in on a little secret?’
‘Shoot.’
‘I was worried about you being thrown in the deep end meeting the whole clan at once.’
He paused, his arms tightening as if he expected her to bolt. ‘Facing Sandy, Monica and Jodi in all their nosy glory. You’ve been a real trouper.’
Her heart clenched. He looked so happy she’d passed the family test with flying colours, when in fact the last few hours had served to deepen the chasm between them.
She’d never felt so torn, wanting him so badly it hurt, knowing she couldn’t give him what he wanted.
And, as painful as it was, seeing him with his nieces and nephews today showed her that no matter what he said, having only her would eventually, one day, not be enough.
Pain sliced through her, swift and deep, cutting her determination, weakening her resolve, at the thought of letting him go. But there was no other way. How could she not? She loved him that much. He’d once let her go to follow her dream, she’d have to do the same for him no matter how much it would tear her apart.
‘Oh-oh, you’ve got that face again.’
She managed a small smile while her insides churned with dread at the enormity of what she had to do.
‘What face?’
‘This one.’
He pulled a tight-lipped, frowning, cross-eyed face, drawing a chuckle from her.
‘I call it your “thinking too much” face.’
He smoothed a finger between her brows, his touch soothing, as she wished he could erase the ache in her heart as easily as the lines from her forehead. ‘It always worries me. It means you’re deliberating something big or going to deliver news I won’t like. Correct?’
He knew her too well. However, now wasn’t the time or place to get into what she was thinking.
‘I’m just tired. The café was jam-packed last night, and I had to do some inventory ordering after we closed.’
‘And you’re exhausted after letting the twins clamber all over you. I know the feeling.’
He leaned closer and brushed a kiss across her lips, a soft, lingering kiss that touched her soul. ‘You really were amazing today. Thank you.’
‘For what?’
Drawing back, he scanned her face as if searching for an answer she couldn’t give him.
‘For making an effort, for being here, but most of all for being you.’
Her breath caught at the adoration in his gaze, and, at that moment, with the squeals of excited children, the low rumble of desultory conversation on a warm Sunday afternoon, and the distant cackle of a kookaburra in the background, she knew. Setting him free would be the hardest thing she’d ever have to do.
She loved this man, heart and soul, always had, always would. Staring into his handsome face with its bronzed skin, crinkly lines around the eyes and perpetual smile, she knew he was her future, her destiny. And she had to walk away from him…
Trying to ignore the dull ache spreading through her chest, squeezing her heart till she thought it would burst, robbing her lungs of air and the ability to speak, she closed her eyes, unable to bear looking into his beautiful eyes one second longer.
‘Hey, that was a compliment,’ he said, brushing her hair off her face, the slight rasp of his calloused fingers sending a shiver down her spine.
‘I know.’
She had no option but to open her eyes, to let him glimpse the devastation ripping her apart.
‘You’re crying! Are you okay? Hell, I knew I should’ve eased you into meeting them one family at a time rather than something this big.’
She shook her head, blinking rapidly, and laid a stilling hand on his arm as he pulled away.
‘No, your family is great. It’s just the exhaustion catching up with me.’
Lame, lame, lame, but what could she say? I love you more than life itself, but I have to let you go?
Concern slashed a vertical indentation between his brows. ‘You know, I’m not buying that. But I’m not going to push it, not here.’
Grabbing her hand, he pointed to the front of the house. ‘Let’s get out of here.’
‘But what about saying goodbye?’
‘Think you’re up to it?’
He brushed away her tears with his thumb, the depth of his caring doing little to stem the flood she was barely managing to hold back.
‘Give me a few minutes inside, then I’ll pop out, thank your family, and then we can leave.’
‘You sure?’
She wasn’t sure about anything: about the sanity of what she was contemplating, about how she could walk away from him and, most of all, how long it would take her to pick up the pieces of her life without him in it.
‘Uh-huh. Give me five minutes, and I’ll be back to say goodbye.’
‘Okay.’
He dropped his arms, and she instantly had the urge to burrow back into them, craving the warmth and security of his embrace.
Taking a deep breath, she lifted her head and squared her shoulders. It wouldn’t do her any good to think like that anymore. Blane wouldn’t be around much longer, and the thought fragmented her heart into painful little pieces all over again.
‘Cam?’
‘Yeah?’
‘I love you so much,’ he said, his tender smile radiating a depth of emotion she’d waited a lifetime for.
His declaration should have made her feel the luckiest woman in the world. Instead, with a sinking heart, she sent him a weak smile and headed for the house to marshal her defences.
For what she had to face when she set him free, she was going to need them.
CHAPTER NINE
BLANE leaned against the bar, content to nurse his beer and watch Cam strut her stuff.
She bounced around the café, flitting from one group to another, equally at ease mingl
ing with the highfaluting advertising execs as she was with the wannabe starlets preening in the hope of being seen at Melbourne’s newest hot spot.
Dressed in a slinky black wrap-around dress which highlighted her figure, her hair straight and sleek around her shoulders, and a permanent mega-watt smile on her face, she looked a million bucks.
A woman in control, in charge, and at total odds with the vulnerable mess she’d been at the barbecue.
They hadn’t spoken about it since. He hadn’t wanted to push his luck on the way home, not when most of the afternoon had gone so well.
Even now, a week later, he couldn’t figure out what had gone wrong towards the end. He’d replayed their conversation in his head a hundred times and was still none the wiser.
As if thinking about her tugged on an invisible link binding them, she glanced up at that precise moment, sending him a dazzling smile while tucking a strand of luscious chocolate hair behind her ear with one hand, wiggling her fingers at him in a saucy wave with the other.
He raised his glass in her direction in a silent toast, chuckling as she held up a finger in a ‘be with you in a sec’ motion to Anna, who was frantically tugging on her arm and motioning to the kitchen, while her eyes never left his, sparkling and sassy even at a distance, her lips curving into the teasing smile he knew so well.
With a slow, deliberate wink, she turned her back on him and tilted her head towards Anna, casting a regretful look over her shoulder before following her employee into the kitchen.
He glanced at his watch, wondering if the crowd would leave soon. Launch parties for up-and-coming advertising firms weren’t his thing. He’d been to a few similar shindigs when trying to choose the right firm to represent BA Constructions, and they were all the same: guys with money to burn, girls there to be seen, loads of fake conversation and schmoozing, business and pleasure deals sealed over one too many G and Ts—though in this case, espressos all round.
This scene left him cold, and he couldn’t wait to get Cam all to himself. Greedy? Hell, yeah. He’d only come because she’d said the party wouldn’t last long, and every minute she spent flitting around the room playing the social butterfly was a minute too long in his books.