It had never been like this in the past. The physical side of her limited relationships had been pleasant enough, if a little perfunctory. But nothing about Ash was pleasant. He was powerful, thrilling, dangerous. Fliss could imagine sex with him wouldn’t be any less so. She just needed to convince him that she was ready for him to stop holding back. She let her hands drop to his backside, slipping her fingers in the pockets and hesitantly pulling him tighter against her.
As if reading her thoughts, Ash pressed her against the wall. With one knee, he nudged her legs apart and slid a steel-like thigh against the heat there. His lips blazed a sizzling trail all the way down the sensitive cord of her neck so that she couldn’t help but dip her head to the side with a soft sigh, her hands barely holding onto his body as weakness trickled into her limbs.
Every part of her body was coming alive under his touch. He made her feel wanted. Needed. She arched her body towards him in subconscious invitation.
Dropping a hand lazily over her breasts, over nipples aching to be touched, Ash circled her ribcage, his strong hands and fingers splayed over her skin making her feel dainty and feminine. Then he flicked a thumb up and over the aching bud, his kisses dipping into the hollow at the base of her neck. Gasping, Fliss snapped her head back up.
‘Ash...’
She didn’t want him to stop but she couldn’t help her reaction. Her well-worn shackles of propriety had reasserted themselves, making her feel constrained and awkward. They were so much more exposed up here than they had been in the camp—in more ways than one.
‘Shh, I promise you that no one’s around,’ he murmured. ‘No one can see us, or hear us.’
She wished she didn’t care. They were only kissing, for pity’s sake. Why couldn’t she be caught up in their little bubble, just as those few couples they had passed on the way up had been?
‘You didn’t seem this uncomfortable between the shipping containers and tents back at camp,’ he pointed out gently.
‘I was more comfortable there,’ she hedged. ‘It was familiar. Elle and I sunbathed there a few times—in rare moments of down-time, that is—and no one had ever stumbled on us before. Plus, it happened so fast, I didn’t have time to second-guess myself.’
‘Do you want to stop?’
There was no censure in his tone, no accusation, just a simple question. He wasn’t trying to push her faster than she was prepared to go, although Fliss could tell how passionately he wanted her. A shiver of delight cascaded through her.
‘I don’t want to stop,’ she realised aloud. She just needed reassurance.
‘Shh, listen,’ he told her. ‘Close your eyes and listen.’
Obediently, she did.
‘What am I listening for?’ she asked after a moment, opening her eyes again. ‘Aside from the faint sounds of the parade below, I can’t hear anything.’
It was still and silent and, with the last lanterns much further down the path, the only light was the glow from the stars, and their eyes had long since adjusted to that.
‘Precisely.’
She could hear the smile in his voice.
Feeling more secure, Fliss looped her arms around Ash’s neck and pressed her lips to his. They both knew he could have made her forget all her concerns with that clever mouth of his. The fact that he’d chosen to be patient and let her feel comfortable in her own time spoke volumes.
‘Happier?’ he murmured against her mouth in amusement.
‘Much.’ She smiled at him, still not lifting her lips from his.
They kissed as he reached up to take one of her hands in his, strong fingers curling around hers. They kissed as he held both their hands to her chest, as though they might be slow dancing. They kissed as she felt her heart beating rhythmically against her fingers. Her body hummed with contentment but, more importantly in that instant, her heart did too. It felt so right, and so natural.
Breathing in, Fliss allowed herself to imagine what it would be like to have this kind of lust and excitement every day. It wasn’t what this one night was about with Ash, she knew that, but it made her think that maybe the life she’d been trying to create for herself had never worked out because it wasn’t right. She imagined what it might be like to stop trying to convince herself that she was in love with men like Robert, and just allowed herself to fall for a man like Ash. She imagined that could be such a very easy thing to do.
And then Fliss stopped imagining altogether. Finally giving in to what her body was trying to tell her, and losing herself in the magic Ash was conjuring throughout her body.
She dropped her hand down between their bodies and let her knuckles graze the hard length of his erection through the fabric of his trousers. His reaction was immediate, and unmistakable.
‘Fliss,’ he groaned, ‘I can only resist so much.’
‘So don’t resist,’ she whispered, loving the way his voice sounded so torn. So raw.
For a fraction of a second he hesitated, and then he acted. His hand skimmed over her ribcage, the bare sliver of skin of her lower abdomen, the loose waistband of her pants. She sucked in a breath, anticipating his next move, longing for it. Finally, he dipped his fingers beneath the material.
* * *
He hadn’t planned on anything happening out here. Certainly not like this. He’d genuinely brought her up here because he’d thought it would be pretty and romantic. But then she’d told him how envious she was of the uninhibited displays of the few young couples in love who they’d passed on the way up, and he’d wanted to release that dormant side of her, the passion he knew lurked so close to the surface but which she didn’t believe existed.
Now he found himself consumed with his own lust, and a need to see her come undone in his arms.
She was like a drug to him. He wanted her with an intensity which shook him, had done ever since that moment in the supply room in camp. He wanted her with a ferocity he didn’t recognise. Driven, as if he was on some kind of mission.
Tonight was his one night to sate this insatiable hunger he seemed to have for Fliss.
Not for the first time, Ash slammed away the question of whether one night would ever be enough with this woman. He couldn’t afford to think that way. One night would have to be enough; it was all they had. And then it would be back to their careers, heads down and eyes in, that they had both worked at for so long. Neither of them could afford to let anyone else close, to create distractions, to get hurt.
He almost held his breath as he grazed his fingers lower, deliciously hot and damp through the flimsiest scrap of lacy fabric. She moaned and moved against his hand, urging him on, and Ash barely clung onto his self-control. He drew his body back so that he could see her in the starlight. She met his gaze, her eyes wide and dark, biting her lip as she waited for him to touch her just where she needed him. Her expression was pure, instinctual desire and he revelled in the proud sensation of being the one to put it there.
His eyes never leaving her face, he slid his finger under the lace. She made a small sound, clearly fighting to keep her gaze locked with his as she opened her legs a fraction wider. It was all the invitation Ash needed.
He let her move her hands back up his body before dipping his head to kiss her neck the way she’d loved earlier, all the while moving his fingers back and forth, unhurried at first, grazing their mark with deliberate precision. Her fingers bit into his shoulders as she tried to shift against his hand but he moved it away, only returning it when she stopped.
‘Wicked,’ she breathed into the night air and his slow smile curved into her skin as he sought out the nub of her sex, her gasp only tightening his own body all the more.
He moved quicker this time, the slickness of her threatening every inch of his willpower just as much as her soft sounds and low moans. At last, he slipped his finger inside her tightness, her body arching
in response.
‘So damned wet,’ he growled, his teeth nipping gently at her neck.
Fliss moved her head to bury it into his shoulder but he reached up with his other hand and cupped her chin.
‘Don’t hide your head,’ he commanded huskily. ‘I want to watch you come.’
She trembled against him and Ash flicked his thumb over her entrance as his fingers moved inside her, the pressure making her squirm. She was so very tight and he could only imagine how she would feel around him later tonight. His movements became faster, more concentrated, watching as her eyelids grew hooded. She was close, and he wanted it to be perfect for her. Needed it to be.
She gripped his shoulders tighter, her eyes closed now, her head dropping slightly forward, and he kept moving, feeling the tension mount in her body. And then, with a low cry, she climaxed, squeezing down around his fingers then releasing, and finally pulsing around them in waves of pleasure. He waited, careful not to move his hand until she was ready for him to, all the while dropping light kisses onto her bowed head so that she felt safe.
He understood just how much it had taken for her to confide in him the way she had this evening. In a sense, the fact that they’d both had a difficult childhood had created an additional closeness Ash hadn’t been prepared for.
But this closeness is transient, he reminded himself sharply. It would be wrong of him to allow either of them to confuse a temporary moment of bonding for anything more—not to mention unfair on Fliss—just because his head was a bit of an emotional wreck right now with the funeral looming.
He needed to find the right moment to remind her—remind himself—that it was still just sex.
He was still lost in his thoughts when Fliss eventually lifted her head.
‘Ash?’
He turned his head, the sight of her soothing his jostling thoughts.
Tell her now.
‘You look annoyed.’ She peered at him nervously, her initial euphoria seeming to disappear before his eyes.
He hesitated. He was annoyed, but at himself, not at Fliss. It wouldn’t be fair to burst her bubble when she wasn’t the one apparently having difficulty remembering it was just about sex. It was him. But giving herself to him with such abandon was so out of character for Fliss, Ash hated that her happiness was so fragile. He hated that he could be the one to hurt her when suddenly all he wanted to do was protect her. Always.
Ridiculous. Just sex. Right?
‘I’m not remotely annoyed,’ he reassured her, forcing a rueful smile to his lips as he searched for a plausible distraction for his reaction. ‘Frustrated, maybe.’
She flushed prettily, the way he’d become accustomed to her doing when she was feeling self-conscious. She lowered her hand down his body which, despite everything, kicked in primal need.
Just sex.
‘Not here,’ he growled, catching her wrist. ‘I want to strip you down and taste every last inch of you before I finally slide inside you.’
‘Then shall we go back to the hotel?’ Her delighted smile was shy and seductive at the same time. ‘We only have five hours before you have to leave for your flight.’
Deep inside Ash, something came apart. This was the confirmation he needed that he’d been imagining it when he’d thought Fliss was opening up to him as though there was more between them than just a one-night stand.
So why didn’t that please him more?
‘Let’s go,’ he answered grimly, shoving the reservations from his head.
Placing his arm protectively around her shoulders, they headed back down the hillside, her body nestling against his, a perfect fit.
Just sex.
He was finally beginning to convince himself. Still, it was going to be a painfully long taxi ride all the way back, so perhaps it was also the chance he needed to sort his head out.
CHAPTER NINE
SOMETHING WAS DIFFERENT.
Fliss’s heart was beating so madly that it felt as though a jackhammer was assaulting her chest the entire journey to the hotel.
His arm might still be around her shoulders, his hard body almost glued to hers on the hot car seats, but mentally Ash was pulling away from her. And she had a fair idea why.
She’d broken their agreement.
She hadn’t intended to. But there it was. She’d forgotten the just sex part of it and was at serious risk of falling for Ash. And he must know it. It explained why he was trying to distance himself emotionally.
She wanted to put it down to her inexperience with casual flings, but deep down she was afraid it was more than that. It wasn’t the unfamiliar act of a one-night stand which was confusing her, but more the unique man sitting tantalisingly close to her. The one who had made her forget her surroundings back up on that hillside, who had made her forget all her usual rules and codes, and forget herself. When he’d played her body with such skill and finesse that it had thrummed with pleasure. When he’d peeled away the armour she’d spent decades melding for herself, and shown her how to live in that one breathtaking moment. And when he’d laced his fingers through hers and dropped a kiss on her soft knuckles as if he really cared about her.
She’d forgotten all her rules and she’d let herself imagine something more with him. But when she came back down to earth she would remember that neither of them had room in their lives for that. If she was going to salvage tonight then she needed to convince him he had misunderstood, that she wasn’t really thinking with her heart instead of her head. She needed to convince him that it was only about the sex for her too.
Because the alternative was that Ash would call it a night now rather than risk any unwanted further entanglement. And Fliss suddenly suspected that no other man was ever going to get under her skin the way Ash had, and if she didn’t indulge in this one night of wanton abandon with him then she would regret it for the rest of her life.
Somehow, she had to make Ash believe that she did actually know what she was doing.
Even if she didn’t.
Suppressing her nerves, Fliss twisted her body around to his and forced herself to sound confident as she leaned in to whisper in his ear. ‘This journey is taking way too long.’
‘We’ll be back soon.’
Ash pulled his lips into a tight line, but Fliss was determined not to be dismissed. She dipped her head so that her lips were skimming the soft dip by his ear.
‘Not soon enough,’ she murmured, deliberately letting one hand drop onto his thigh. High enough that her desire was clear, but low enough so that it would pique his interest.
At least, she hoped it would. This was about heightening the sexual intensity, but they both knew she wasn’t about to do anything else in the back seat of a taxi. Fliss suddenly wished she was a little more skilled in the bedroom department. She walked her fingers a torturously slow inch higher, her voice still a whisper.
‘I can hardly wait to touch you properly.’
He caught her wrist in his strong fingers, just as he had on the hilltop, stopping it from moving any higher. But at least he didn’t cast her away. In fact, the wall between them was beginning to crumble again. Fliss felt a punch of triumph. She’d convinced Ash that she was only thinking about the sex. And the funny thing about it was that, in the process, she’d started to convince herself that she felt that way too.
‘I’m not made of stone, Felicity,’ he warned. His voice was a low, strained rumble which seemed to burrow into her lower abdomen. She swallowed.
‘I’m not asking you to be.’
Trusting her to keep her hand where it was, he let go and cupped her jaw, forcing her to look at him. For several long moments they held each other’s eyes wordlessly. Her stomach flip-flopped. Ash’s gaze was so intense it was almost black with desire, allaying any fears that he didn’t want her any more. The realisation b
oosted her confidence more than any words could have.
Closing the gap between them, Fliss pressed her lips to his, so demanding and urgent she barely recognised herself. But she liked it. She liked the boldness Ash brought out in her, and she loved the way his resistance barely lasted a second before he was kissing her back with such heat she could hardly breathe.
She couldn’t stop herself any longer. She cupped him through his trousers and he reacted instantly. Lust shot through her and her body arched towards his as liquid desire pooled at her core. If it hadn’t been for the driver she didn’t think she could have stopped herself from taking it further.
Her. Felicity Delaunay.
‘I need more,’ she moaned softly.
He pulled at her lower lip with his teeth, gently teasing her, his thumb grazing up and down her jawline.
‘Soon,’ Ash muttered, without lifting his head. ‘I promise.’
Every last drop of their mutual desire was expressed in that kiss. Constrained to that kiss. First shallow and fast, then deepening and slowing. His mouth explored hers just as he had before, yet every stroke of his tongue and pass of his lips ignited new flames throughout Fliss’s body as she revelled in the intoxicating feel of his mouth.
It was almost a relief when the taxi finally drew up outside the hotel and they tumbled out, barely able to conceal their hurry. Fliss felt momentarily bereft as Ash paused to pay the driver, but then he snaked his arm around her waist as he swept them inside the hotel lobby and across to the lifts. The wait felt interminably long.
Finally they ducked inside and stood, eyes fixed ahead, just waiting for the doors to close so that they could resume the kiss where they’d left off in the taxi. Her self-control was in tatters and her body throbbed. Finally, mercifully, the doors began to slide closed and Fliss was just imagining Ash hauling her up against the walls of the lift when a walking stick was jammed through the rapidly closing gap.
Encounter with a Commanding Officer Page 10