Honey Red

by Liz Crowe

  “And Alyssa?” She wanted to go into their arms, to make them hold her and face the reality of what she suspected together, but she simply couldn’t. Ian would have a cow. And he’d be right to do so. She’d promised to take the birth control thing seriously. And she had not, for whatever reason, that night. She clenched her eyes shut.

  “Stable, resting. It’s all okay. An emergency but that’s what decent hospitals are for.” Ian put his lips to her forehead. “Go home. Get some rest. Jamie’s fine where he is.”

  “Call me?” She asked gulping back the saliva that flooded her mouth.

  Nick yanked her close. “You’re sick,” he said, putting his lips to her cheek. “No fever though. What is it?” He held her arms, suddenly tense with worry.

  She mentally cursed the man’s ability to sense she was not herself. “Flu, or something. Congrats, guys, really. But I should go and take my sick germs with me. I’ll…I’ll be around tomorrow.”

  She avoided both Nick and Ian for a solid two weeks, needing some space to process what had happened that night, on the kitchen table, with Nick, no protection, their base need for each other obviously with a purpose. She forced herself to take a home pregnancy test and sat staring at the little plus sign for an hour, unbelieving, and terrified. Ian was going to shit bricks. What in the hell was she going to do? How could she tell them? She set her shoulders in the small bathroom of her shitty apartment as her mother hovered outside the door and resolved that she simply wouldn’t tell them. She would handle this whole thing on her own.

  There was a big beer and food festival in Chicago that week so she packed up and left without seeing them. She managed to avoid phone calls and texts for the most part while there but then realizing it wasn’t fair to the men who kept trying to contact her, she told them both she was fine, busy, and for them to focus on Alyssa and the kids. While she puked every morning, and cried herself to sleep every night.

  By the time she got home, Alyssa had been released with Lucas, the healthier of the baby boys. Hannah dropped her stuff at her apartment and agreed to meet Ian at Gavin’s house. She washed her face, hoped she didn’t look as pregnant as she felt, and drove to the outskirts of town; to the big house Alyssa and Gavin had bought, complete with a barn for horses and twenty acres to ride.

  She sat a minute, gripping the steering wheel and steeling herself to see Ian. A knock on her window made her jump. Gavin was there, smiling at her. She sighed, and climbed out. “Hey, you all right?” he said. “I was just down at the barn, watching the boys get saddled up for their riding lesson. You look like shit, no offense. Chicago that rough?”

  “Uh, yeah. You know. Party, party, party.” She gave him a weak smile. “So, when does Tyler get to come home?”

  Gavin’s face split into a huge grin. “Monday, thank all the gods. Alyssa’s going nuts not having him here. C’mon, Ian’s already here.”

  Hannah followed him in, her feet dragging as if mired in sand. She was not ready to face Ian. Not yet. But there he was, in all his tall, blond, amazing glory. His face lit up at the sight of her. Her heart raced and her brain yammered at her to go to him. Let him hold her and just tell him. He folded her into a huge hug, kissed her cheek and guided her inside. “Missed you,” he whispered, cupping her ass. She stepped out of his reach. He frowned but Alyssa called out then, so they walked into the huge family room where she had an impossibly tiny baby draped over her shoulder.

  “I think he just threw up down my fucking back. Ian, where the hell is Gavin?”

  Hannah grabbed one of the many clean cloths lying on the table and handed it to Ian who took the baby from Alyssa and wiped her shoulder. Alyssa stood and stretched, wincing a little when she limped toward the kitchen. “I swear I am going fucking crazy. I can’t stand not having both of them here, but he’s such a handful…I…there you are.” She stepped into Gavin’s arms and he held her, whispering in her ear. Hannah bit her lip, moved by their connection and more than a little jealous of it. Ian bumped her arm.

  “Hey want to hold him a sec? I need to wash my hands.”

  “Oh, no, not really, okay.” She sighed when he put the tiny boy in her arms. She’d spent a lot of years in high school and college holding other people’s babies. And was comfortable doing it but somehow, today, she felt klutzy, out of it. She sat, jiggling him and watching his tiny lips purse in his sleep. She looked up and watched Ian move around the kitchen, assembling sandwiches for lunch. She swallowed hard, wishing like hell she could tell him, but knowing it was hardly the right time or place. Alyssa came back in and sat, put her feet up and sighed.

  “If he’s asleep you can put him in his bed, over there,” Alyssa pointed to the two tiny cribs in the corner of the room. Hannah placed the sleeping boy in one of them.

  “I’m going up to the hospital.” Gavin had his hands on Alyssa’s shoulders. She looked up, determination in her steady gaze.

  “Okay, make them tell you why they won’t let him go yet. I don’t like how that pediatrician keeps avoiding my eyes.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Gavin walked over to the crib and kissed the baby’s cheek. “Later brother,” he called out to Ian who waved from the kitchen.

  “So, when are you going to tell him?” Alyssa asked after Gavin had left. Hannah frowned at her.

  “Tell who what?”

  Alyssa pointed to her stomach. “Tell one of those men he’s a dad.”

  “Jesus.” She sighed. “How the hell can you tell?”

  “I don’t know, really, a hunch based on the fact that you look like ten miles of bad road and that you just confirmed. Well?” Alyssa’s face was serious.

  “I…I’m not sure I’ll…oh shit…,” she jumped up.

  Alyssa pointed down a back hallway and Hannah got to the bathroom just in time. She gripped the edge of the sink and tried to reign in the dizziness after she threw up for the third time that day then walked back out to the family room, attempting to look normal.

  “Listen, Hannah, I am not judging you or Ian or Nick for that matter. I haven’t seen my brother this happy since…well, ever. So whatever you guys are doing, more power to you. But….” Alyssa took up the conversation as if Hannah had never left the room.

  She sat, rubbing her lips with a tissue. “It’s Nick’s,” she whispered. “Ian is…” she glanced over her shoulder at him still puttering around in the kitchen. “Ian is, was, adamant about birth control. I have a diaphragm. But I, well, it just….”

  “Sister, I am not one to talk about forgotten diaphragms or condoms or any of it. Trust me. And believe it or not, I’m not going to encourage you to tell him, if your mind is made up already. Do you have…support? A ride, if you need one?”

  Hannah nodded, although she didn’t really. A sudden urge rolled through her to see Nick, make him help her convince Ian it would be okay, and talk her out of the abortion she’d convinced herself to schedule. Ian touched her shoulder. “Sandwich,” he asked.

  She shook her head. “I need to go.” She stood, feeling a fraction stronger now that someone else knew her secret.

  “Uh, okay.” He stood, staring at her. “Call me later?”

  “Yes.” She said, kissing his cheek, giving Alyssa a quick hug and touching baby Lucas’ still-sleeping form. She headed home, resisting the urge to make the drive over to Nick’s and drew a hot bath, ignoring her mother, and locking the bathroom door so she could think.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Nick sat, hand on Brutus’ head, the breeze coming through the window helping ease a fraction of his stress. The I.T. security business he’d envisioned was going gangbusters, and while he did not regret it exactly, it was definitely more pain in the ass than he’d anticipated. Jake was still around, working his sales magic. The guy was smart, great with the public, getting them so many accounts Nick could hardly keep up. This latest assignment gave him a serious tail-chasing vibe. A giant Detroit casino had hired him, promising a six-figure payoff, if he could come up with a way to do what they
wanted—provide one hundred percent security on all their networks, including the casino floors, the entertainment venues and all six hundred of the guest rooms. And he could not convince them to dump the “free wireless” concept for guests, which was the open door invite to hackers. They kept insisting that he solve it without “inconveniencing” their many guests.

  He ran a hand through his hair and leaned back. The fact that he had not seen or heard from Hannah in over two weeks was making him nuts, too. He knew she’d been out of town but couldn’t understand why she’d remained incommunicado. He’d been buried by work, and the awkward nature of his new business-only relationship with Jake took a lot of emotional energy. The upside was he slept better, his nights rarely haunted by dreams of fire, and of Dan. His phone rang—Ian’s ring tone. He smiled and answered.

  “Hey,” he started.

  “I saw her today.”

  “Oh?” Nick’s pulse pounded in his temples, but he kept his voice cool. “And how is she?”

  “Looked a little ragged around the edges, but the Chicago event is long and intense.”

  “Sure. Okay. How’s the boy?”

  “He seems good. Alyssa is going nuts not having them both home. You coming over later?”

  “That’s my plan. Ride is due here about four.”

  “What are you doing now?” Ian’s voice sounded strange.

  “Working, trying to justify the dough the Motor City Casino just deposited in my bank account. Why?”

  “Because I’m standing on your porch. Can I come in?”

  Nick frowned, and let Brutus lead him to the door. He put a hand on Ian’s chest, felt how hard his heart pounded then gasped when the other man yanked him close and covered his lips with an urgent kiss. He let go of the dog’s lead and wrapped his arms around Ian’s neck. The hard planes of the other man’s body, the rough rasp of his cheek, and the distinct press of an erection against his hip made him groan as his cock rose to the occasion so fast he got dizzy from the lack of blood to his brain. “I need you,” Ian whispered, biting his ear and lifting his shirt off before yanking his jeans down around his ankles.

  “Wait, I thought we…holy mother of…” he grunted when Ian pushed him back on the couch, dropped to his knees and swallowed his cock all the way down. He felt a finger under his balls another hand tugging his nipple. His hips thrust up, as he gave in to the raw, pure erotic perfection of the moment. One devoid of emotion, a need to impress, or worry about pleasing anyone—the simple pleasure of getting off that he’d shared with many men. He gripped Ian’s hair, pumped into his mouth. “Fuck, yes,” he hissed, holding on tight and sensing a monster orgasm on his immediate horizon. “Now, Ian. Now…” he groaned as the man released his cock and yanked him to his feet, turning him around and pressing a spit slicked finger into his ass. He spread his knees on the couch, held on to the back of it. He realized he had not had sex this way, the only way he’d known for the bulk of his adult life, in weeks, maybe months. They’d been so busy exploring Hannah, and his reaction to her, and pleasuring her he’d forgotten the simplicity of this connection.

  Suddenly, he smelled her, could practically taste her sweetness on his tongue. He heard her moans, her laugh, felt her hair under his hands, the bone structure of her face as he touched her “seeing her” as she put it. He sighed as Ian removed his finger and replaced it with his cock. Never more grateful for the mutual physicals they’d had, declaring them clean of all disease so Ian felt free to go without a condom, Nick relaxed so Ian could breach him. The amazing sensations filled his every sense. The smell of man, of Ian, of his lust, the sensory memories of Hannah, all of it made him arch his back, take Ian deep like he knew the man wanted.

  Ian draped over Nick’s back, bit his shoulder and grabbed Nick’s cock, pumping fast and hard as he pounded into him. “God,” Ian growled.

  “Do it,” Nick croaked out as the climax burst across his brain. He came into Ian’s hand just as the other man let out a low moan and released Nick’s shaft so he could grip his hips and shove in hard. “Yeah, baby. Just like that.” Nick sighed, hanging on to the couch back, loving the feel of his man’s cock pumping inside him and the sound of his voice as he climaxed. The ghostly honey scent floated across his brain again. He frowned, wincing when Ian pulled out.

  “Nice,” he heard her then, fury as clear as day in her voice. “Very nice.”

  He grabbed his jeans and pulled them up, using his shirt to wipe the cum off his belly. Suddenly he was nervous, embarrassed, and starting to panic.

  Ian sucked in a shuddering breath and turned to face her. Hannah stood in the door, dressed in jeans and a brewery T-shirt. Her curly red hair floated around her shoulders, eyes snapped with anger, but her face was pale, gaunt, with dark circles under her eyes he hadn’t noticed earlier.

  He had no idea why he had come here and done this with Nick. If he were completely honest, it was a lot of desperate horniness mixed with worry about Hannah, his nephews, his brother and sister-in-law. Mostly he wanted Nick and a simple, physical, man-to-man connection, but now he’d allowed his selfish urges to put a look of such hurt in Hannah’s eyes he had to lower his gaze to the floor, unable to meet her stare. He’d done it again; let his base, selfish needs hurt someone he loved.

  “So, were you just pretending I was in the next room Ian? That get you past the whole having a problem with sneaking around thing?” She took a step towards him. Nick stood at his shoulder, breathing heavy. The dog whined. “Or is that rule just a guideline the rest of us have to follow to make you happy with yourself?”

  “Hold on,” Nick said, sitting down and pulling his sunglasses back over his eyes. “Rules? What rules? Ian…what the fuck is she talking about?”

  Ian’s chest constricted. He stared from Hannah’s eyes to Nick’s confused face. He had no answer. None at all. He sighed and reached for Hannah.

  “Don’t touch me.” She snapped.

  “I think you should go,” Nick stated. Ian stood between them, torn, furious and terrified that he’d ruined everything in a fit of horny selfishness.

  “No, listen, guys, I’m sorry. I’m just….”

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Ian’s vision narrowed. He locked in on Hannah’s face while a slow burning indignation lit a fire in his brain.

  “Um, what?” Nick said, getting to his feet and trying to walk over to her.

  Ian held out an arm. “Really? Hannah, how could that be? I thought we had an understanding about birth control. All three of us.”

  Nick shoved his arm down with a strength that only hinted at what he might be capable of and pulled Hannah into his arms. She stood, not returning his embrace.

  “You are a selfish ass.” She disentangled herself from Nick, glaring at Ian. “You think you can just fuck us, both of us, one of us, whenever you want. Is that what this is about? We are Ian’s play things whenever he wants them, just as long as we follow his rules?”

  Nick yanked his sunglasses off. “I’m not a plaything Hannah. He didn’t rape me for god’s sake. We aren’t cheating on you. But, of course, you guys seem to have some kind of pact you didn’t let me in on so, maybe we were. Fuck.”

  He grabbed Brutus and tried to shoulder past them, but Ian held onto him. “How pregnant are you Hannah?” he kept his voice light but he was seeing red around the edges of his vision and knew he had to keep a grip on his temper lest he make this worse than it already was.

  “Enough to know, thanks.” She crossed her arms.

  “Good, I’ll drive you to the clinic. Get in the car.”

  Nick grabbed his arms and shoved him hard, making the back of his skull connect with a bookshelf. “You do not get to decide that.” His voice was low, a warning Ian chose to ignore. He pushed the man off him, making the mistake of thinking Nick wouldn’t lash out. Big mistake. Pain exploded in his jaw, then his gut when carefully placed punches thrown by a trained killing machine landed precisely where they were aimed. He grabbed Nick’s arm when the
man hauled back to do it again. Ian was no slouch and was bigger.

  “You guys are pitiful,” Hannah spit out. “Can’t keep your stupid hands or cocks off each other, fucking or fighting. Jesus.” Ian held tight to Nick’s arm, felt the man’s rage just under the surface. Brutus had Nick’s other hand in his huge mouth, trying to tug him out of what must appear to be a very dangerous situation for his master. “I don’t need your god damned ride, Donovan. I can drive myself to get an abortion, thanks. And you,” she glared at Nick who turned his face to her. “You should ask him about his rules sometime. About how we share but only if we’re all together, as in the same space. He used you today, Nick. Sorry to break that to you.” She whirled and Ian let go of Nick’s hand taking a chance the guy would not try to hit him again. He grabbed Hannah’s arms, but she shook him off.

  “Fuck you Ian Donovan. Fuck you and your “sex only for now” bullshit. I’m done. I’ll be taking a couple of days off for the abortion.” Ian winced as she repeated the harsh word and sensed Nick’s temper about to burst over them both. “But this whole experiment,” she made a circle with her finger indicating the three of them, “is finished.”

  Nick gasped and tried to pull her to him. “No, wait, Hannah, don’t.”

  Ian gaped at them both. “You guys have got to be kidding me.” He let the fury fuel him and the words tumbled out, burying him even deeper. “This is not what we are about. We are a threesome for sex. That’s all I want. That’s what I thought you wanted, but, obviously, I was wrong. In case you forgot, I have a family already, one I didn’t expect, but it’s all I need.” He let go of Hannah’s arm and stepped back. They both stared at him, or at least appeared to, making his heart leap into his throat, regret making his temples pound. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way….” He whispered, meaning it but knowing it was too late. He had not meant anything more than the fact that adding another child to the mix would only complicate everyone’s lives. But, boy, did you just sound like a selfish motherfucker. He groaned and touched his aching jaw.