I turned around and looked at Adam. His green eyes glowed from the lighting from the moon. I don’t know why I thought he was going to hurt me. In an odd way, he seemed almost protective of me. When Mr. Walker came out with a shotgun Adam had stepped in front of me. When we were in the tunnel, he had helped me calm down. When we were in the forest, he didn’t let Chantel shoot me. Although, he did try and blow Evelyn up. I was so confused.
Adam reached out and took my hand. “Come here.” He led me to the bed and pushed me backwards on it. Nothing was sexual about his movements. He was getting me to lay down.
“Why the change of heart?” He knew what I meant. I wanted to know why I was let inside. Why they let me shower and change into clean clothes. Why they were giving me hospitality.
Adam plopped down next to me. He thought for a few seconds. “I think even though Susan wanted you to suffer out there in the rain seeing you shivering tugged at her heart. She hates you, but at the end of the day, she is still a mom. Plus, Mare saw you out there and wouldn’t stop talking about Abraham Lincoln.”
“Oh…’’ I trailed off. Rolling on my side, I just looked at him. “So you and I are sleeping in here?”
“Mr. Walker gave me an option. Leave you in the barn, or have you sleep in here with me where I can keep an eye on you. I had a feeling you would have rather been in here.”
His feeling was right. My eyes slid shut. “I didn’t know Seth was your brother.”
I felt Adam tense. I don’t know why I brought his brother up. He was dead because of me. "Yeah, Seth and Bret are my older brothers. I'm the youngest child."
I smiled. "What’s that like? I've always been an only child."
I felt Adam stare at me. "Have you already forgotten about Rugter?"
I missed that mistake. Reopening my eyes, I watched Adam watch me. I was raised as an only child. Evelyn was raised with a brother. I sighed, thinking of a lie. I was tired of lying. "Well ever since Rugter got sent to jail, I've felt like an only child." Even though it was Evelyn's fault.
"When we were kids you used to always say you wanted to be an only child." Adam whispered.
I sat up. "Did you just say when we were kids?" He knew Evelyn when she was a kid. They talked to each other before?
Adam sat up too. He rubbed his hands over his face and sighed. "I'm tired. I messed up when I was talking."
I didn't believe him. I knew he was lying. Something told me he was lying. He knew Evelyn. Evelyn must have known them if she chose to draft Seth and marry him. Why would she do something like that?
"Why did she chose to draft Seth and marry him? Of all the guys she could have picked, why did she pick him?"
"You mean you?" Adam touched my arm.
I had messed up again. I was being careless with my word choices. "Yes. Sorry, I just view the old me as not me and this new me as me." How many lies was I going to tell?
"You sure are different now."
I looked down. "Yeah, so I have been told. Anyways, you just made it obvious you lied to me about not knowing me before. You had to have known me if you know I'm different now."
Adam wasn't fazed by my words. "Nobody has to know you personally to know you're different. The old Evelyn would not have put those cotton pants on." He gave me a faint smile.
I laughed. "Hey, what's wrong with these pants? I like them. They are so comfortable and cozy." To prove my point of my comfortability, I snuggled into my sweater. "You're not answering any of my questions." I pointed out.
"What do you think? We're friends now?" His tone was teasing. He treated me differently behind closed doors.
"Seriously? I'm not an idiot. You're distracting me."
"No. You're not cool enough to be my friend."
The atmosphere was relaxed. I felt relaxed and light hearted. I didn't know the last time I felt this way. Seth left my mind. Death left my mind. The war left my mind. The only thing on my mind was this mystery boy sitting side by side with me.
I could feel the heat from his body radiating towards me. An urge to hug him overcame me. I wanted human contact. I wanted to feel like someone out there actually cared about my well-being. I wanted to feel like I mattered.
Adam moved and got underneath the covers. I suddenly felt awkward. I didn't know what to do with myself. Was I supposed to sleep on the floor? It would be strange to just get underneath the covers with him.
When I stood up to move to the floor, Adams arm shot out and stopped me. "This is one of the ways your different. The old you would have either demanded me to sleep on the floor so you could have the bed, or not cared at all and slept on the bed too. Lay down. My body is too sore to sleep on a hard floor tonight and I know yours is too."
With stiff movements, I scooted backwards and laid down. I was over the covers, lying on my back, with my hands folded on my stomach. I looked like a dead body in a casket. I wasn't sure what to make of the situation. Would he try something? No. I may not know him well, but he was honorable.
"We were friends when you were four." Adam twisted onto his side to face me. "You used to always sneak off of your dad's property and come to my house. We would play in the woods. You used to find the biggest sticks and pretend it was a sword and we would fight with them. You never wanted to be a princess. You wanted to be a warrior. You wanted to be the one to save the people of the word. You wanted to stop the hunger, diseases, and you wanted everyone to have a warm home. You used to declare your love for everyone. It didn't matter if you met them that day. When you parted with them, you would give them a hug and tell them you loved them. “Adams’ voice was soft. I could barely hear him. "You were brilliant. By the age of eight you could read huge text books. You taught my brothers and myself how to read. You talked about how you wanted freedom for everyone after you got ahold of the ten amendments. My parents couldn't afford to send us to school, but you taught us all everything you learned. You said people needed to fight back with knowledge, not violence."
He thought he was talking to Evelyn, but he was talking to me. That broke my heart. I didn't move a muscle. "What changed?"
"Your father caught on to what you were doing when you turned twelve. He took you away. He made a new law that anyone who had historical documents would be punished by death. He said it was poison to our brains. One night after he sent you away, our house got raided. We had history textbooks. My parents were executed." His voice was full of sorrow. "You came back when you were sixteen. You were different. You represented everything your father was. You saw things the same as him. You started being on the news a lot. It's ironic, isn't it? Everyone always thought you being Stephan’s daughter would help bring redemption to the country. You ended up ruining it even more."
It was Evelyn's fault his parents were dead, yet he was willing to lay here and talk to her. I wanted all of this guilt to go away. I felt terrible. He lost both of his parents to an unjust law. Seth too. How could Seth bare to look at me?
Is this why they didn't kill me in the woods? Is this why Adam didn't kill me in the tunnel when he had the chance? Did he still cling to the memories of Evelyn as a child? The girl she used to be? I flipped over and faced him. I no longer felt awkward on this bed with him.
Hesitantly, I placed my hand over his. His skin was warm. I closed my eyes when he laced his fingers with mine. In a word full of chaos, I had a moment of peace. Sleep overcame me.
Something slammed into my body. Opening my eyes, I was staring into sky blue orbs. Mare was smiling at me. She was missing two bottom teeth.
"Morning sunshine." Her voice was happy. Such happiness radiate from her face.
I looked around. Adam wasn't here.
"Are you looking for Uncle Adam?" She gave me a cute smile.
"No." My tone was defensive and her smile got bigger.
"He's making breakfast. Mama says he woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. He's extra cranky." She giggled, jumped off of me and ran out the bedroom door.
I rubbed my eyes and cl
imbed out of the bed. My stomach growled when I smelt eggs and bacon. I didn't even like eggs or bacon, but I was so hungry the scent was mouthwatering.
I felt uncomfortable. Did I go down stairs? Was I invited to eat with them? Did I stay here? Or did I go back to that tree?
I stood awkwardly in the bedroom unsure what to do with myself.
Bret stopped by the door and looked at me. His eyes were knowing. "Adam and Susan made breakfast if you’re hungry."
Hearing Susan's name made me not want to eat. Who was I to just come in her house and eat her food? "I'm not hungry." I lied. At that moment, my stomach decides to speak for itself. A flush filled my face.
Bret lifted both of his eyebrows. "I think your stomach disagrees. Come on."
I followed him down the stairs. The old wooden steps creaked with every step we took. Mare was sitting at the kitchen table playing with silver wear. Her face lit up when she saw me.
"I thought you were going to stay up there forever!" She beamed at me.
I smiled back at her. I looked to Adam. He was setting plates on the kitchen table. He didn't glance my way at all. I don't know what I expected from him after last night, but I didn't expect him to ignore my presence.
Mr. Walker watched me watch Adam. "Are you going to stand there all day or are you going to take a seat?"
I hadn't even noticed Bret left my side and sat down. I scurried to the chair across from Mare and sat down.
Mitchel glanced my way then at Adam. Things were uncomfortable. Was it because Adam and I slept in the same room last night? Did they think something went on between us?
Chantel walked through the front door and slammed it. Her eyes sought me out instantly. "Oh, we let trash sit at the table now?" Her brown, curly hair was a mess around her face. She didn't look like she got any sleep at all last night.
I clamped my mouth shut and looked down. I did not want confrontation. I was too tired.
She took the spot right next to me. "First you try and steal my man and now that he is dead you go for his brother. You're just too cute, you know that?"
Anger bubbled in my stomach. I wanted to defend myself but knew it would be no good. She was angry. She was looking for a fight. I wasn't going to satisfy her.
"You're hurting my feelings." Mare's blue eyes watered and her lower lip trembled.
Guilt flashed across Chantel's face. "I'm sorry Mare. I didn't see you there."
Mare just shrugged her dainty shoulders. Breakfast was awkward. The only noise in the whole dining room was forks scraping across the plates. I ate like a barbarian, not caring that they were watching.
When we were all finished, I tried to do my own dishes but Susan quietly took them from me. Adam continued on ignoring me. The only person who talked to me was Mare.
"Do you want to play outside with me?" She asked bouncing on her feet.
"Of course." I couldn't say no to a cute face like that.
She slipped her hands into mine and tugged me towards the front doors. I stopped when I saw four SUVs coming up the driveway with their lights flashing. Those were The Unit's cars.
"They are coming!" I shouted as loud as I could.
Mitchel came bounding down the stairs and looked around frantically. "Evelyn." He tore me away from Mare and she started screaming. "Get down in the basement. If you do anything to make your presence known, I will not only kill you but your military personal too." Mitchel dragged me towards the hallway and opened something on the floor.
It looked like a never ending dark hole. He pushed me through and I fell, landing on my knees. Mitchel shut the thing over my head. I was trapped and in the dark. The ceiling in here wasn't tall enough to stand. I could only crawl. The sirens were getting close. Curling into a ball, I listened as hard as I could.
How did they know to come here? Were they coming here for me?
There was loud banging on the front door. It made Mare scream.
"Don't be afraid." Bret's voice comforted her.
"Hello. What brings you guys all the way out here?" Susan's voice sounded charming and friendly.
"We have reason to believe that you are associated with the rebels and you have taken Evelyn Cortez hostage. I need every person in this house to step outside while we do a raid. No questions asked." I knew that voice. It was Kyle, the guy who opened the door for me when I first arrived at the unit. He was alive.
It got quiet. I heard footsteps shuffle outside. Silent moments passed. I was too afraid to breathe. I jolted when I heard a crash. Glass broke. The noises were loud now. Things were breaking all over the place. I heard stomping upstairs. Another crash. They were ransacking the house.
"Clear." Kyle's voice called from upstairs.
"Clear." That voice was right over me.
More footsteps came. All three of them were right over me now. What if they found me? Would they execute me like they did to Adam's parents? Was what I did punishable by death? I squeezed my eyes shut and curled further into my body. Breathe in. Breathe out.
"She's not here, but I know she is here. I saw her cross the creek with Adam Foster the other night. Susan is Adam's aunt. This is his sanctuary."
"I say we go put a bullet through their heads, then wait for her to get back." Kyle suggested.
I tiny gasp escaped my lips. Anger filled me. I almost wished the grenade killed him. My thoughts did a whole 180 about Rugter throwing that grenade down the stairs. These people were monsters. Did they want to execute an entire family? All because they may or may not be hiding a person. That just didn’t make sense to me. That was morally wrong. That was horrible. It was one thing to hear about something, but it was another to witness it.
"Agreed. Let's get them lined up."
All three footsteps drifted towards the front door. Mare's innocent smiling face flashed through my mind. My body went into auto pilot. I stopped thinking. I stopped feeling. It was like it wasn't me in this body, but someone different. I felt like my mind left and went somewhere else. I was no longer hiding underneath the floorboards. I was by the front door grabbing Mr. Walkers shotgun that was perched on the wall.
Everything happened in slow motion. My legs drifted outside. Susan was crying holding Mare tightly in her arms. Sobs were tearing out of her throat. Bret and Mitchel were on their knees, two of the guards had guns pressed to the back of their heads. Mr. Walker was cussing, screaming. His entire body was shaking with anger. Chantel simply stood there. Her face looked defeated. Adam was nowhere in sight.
Kyle had his back to me. He was watching like it was some kind of movie. In that moment, I hated him. I wanted him to die. I pulled the trigger. Nobody forced me to do it. Nobody pressed my fingers down and made me do it. I did it myself. It was my decision. My choice.
Kyle dropped to the ground. The two soldiers now had their guns raised at me. They were shouting. I blinked and only one was shouting. The other one dropped to the floor. Except that time, I wasn't the one who pulled the trigger. Adam did. He was standing behind the last soldier standing. Adam had his gun pressed against the soldiers back, but the soldier had his gun aimed at my head.
I could see Susan and Mare screaming, but I could not hear them. All I could hear was the blood rushing in my head. It felt like I was floating. I wasn’t really here, but I was here. My legs gave out and I fell to the floor. A final shot rang out.
In that moment, I knew. I truly honestly knew that everything was never going to be okay. Maybe sometimes I would feel peace, but the world would rip it away from me at the next opportunity presented. Happiness was a privilege that I would never receive.
Chapter Nine
My dad died when I was seven. My mom died by childbirth. Both of my parents were orphans and only children. I never had a family. Nobody wanted to adopt a seven-year-old girl who lived through the tragedy of losing both parents. Why would they? They could just adopt a baby that has no emotional scars. No setbacks.
I remembered sitting at the police station. The buzz of the phones surrou
nded me. Everyone was lost in their own life. Their own problems. I was an invisible girl sitting on an uncomfortable chair. Nobody even glanced at me.
The police officer who had taken me there was awkward. He didn't know what to say to me. He offered me gummy worms from a vending machine. Those were the only words he spoke to me before he settled in doing paperwork.
The smell of stale coffee made me sick to my stomach. Eventually, a social worker did come. She told me she was going to find a safe place for me for a few nights. She was going to see if I had any blood family alive somewhere out there in the big, huge world.
I was not a stranger to tragedy. I was not a stranger to death. Death surrounded me everywhere I went. I was convinced I had terrible luck. I wasn't meant to be happy.
I made a friend once in fifth grade. We were best friends for a few months. Her parents wouldn't allow her to spend the night at my foster house, nor would they allow me to come over. They didn't approve of us being friends. They didn't like the clothes I wore. My jeans were always dirty and had rips in them. My baggy shirts made it look like I was a boy. They thought I was a trouble maker. A brat.
Every day we would play at recess together. She would always share her lunches with me. Her name was Lindsey. She had beautiful raven black hair and brown doe eyes. I always admired her proclaim white skin. I wished I looked like her. I wish I had a loving family like her. I was jealous of her. She was privileged.
One recess we got into an argument. We couldn't agree who got to swing on the swing first. In a fifth graders mind, that was very important. I never forgot the words she said to me.
Lindsey glared at me and shouted, “at least my parents aren't dead!"
Everyone around us thought it was the funniest thing she ever said. They all laughed and laughed. Soon she was the funny popular girl and I was the girl with dead parents. That's how people saw me after that. Oh, that's Brianna. The girl with the dead parents.
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