by Lexi Blake
And then he saw her and nothing else mattered. She maneuvered her body with a casual grace, the easy move of a woman comfortable with herself, with her own sensuality. She wore a veil that covered her face, but he would know those eyes anywhere. They sought out his and the warmth he saw there nearly sent him to his knees.
He was lying to her.
She stepped in front of him and her hips swayed.
He started to move, shifting to stand, but Tag’s hand came out.
“She knows what she’s doing,” he said quietly. “Let her.”
He sat back. There would be time to ruin it later. For now he let himself look at her, the memories of their time together flashing through his brain. If their lives together had been a film, this would be the montage. It would be the part of the film where the audience sifted through each of the moments that brought them here.
Meeting Sarah, her smile so bright it lit up his world and made him wonder if he’d actually seen color before.
That first brush of her hand against his.
Her laughter as she teased him. His ridiculous attempts to get and keep her attention.
The moment he realized how hard his world would be on her.
The kiss. She’d been so angry with him. He’d tried to explain, but every word damned him more until he didn’t give a fuck what the world thought. The only thing that had mattered in that moment was getting his hands on her, making her understand how much he wanted her.
The cops pulling him away, that fear in her eyes. For him? Of him?
And then the long lonely time without her.
It played through his head, the uniqueness of their personal story striking through him.
She was it. She was the one, that mystical part of himself that had been missing all along. He could have gone through his life, found relative happiness and never known a piece of himself was out here in the world, but he’d met her. He’d met her and he would never be whole without this one woman.
She danced for him, her hips swaying, and he wished he’d kissed her the night before. They’d touched each other, hands roaming across skin, connected despite the dark. But he hadn’t put his mouth on hers. He hadn’t brought their lips together and let their tongues tangle.
The music stopped and she fell to her knees before him. He recognized that the moment was playing out around him, and not every sub was on their knees, but he only had eyes for her.
“Would you play with me tonight, Sir?” Her husky voice went straight to his cock.
He wanted nothing more than to keep it up, to pretend for a little while longer. But he couldn’t do it. He loved her and he wasn’t going to win her with lies. “Sarah…”
She put a hand on his knee, her eyes pleading up at him. “Sir, I would like to play for the evening. Would you take me upstairs so we can play out a private scene? I would like to be alone with you.”
“Sarah, I…”
“Take me upstairs, Jared.”
His heart clenched. She knew. She knew and she wanted him.
It was enough for now.
He got to his feet. Beside him Big Tag had pulled his wife onto his lap and had his tongue halfway down her throat. To his right, JT was busy watching Sweetie turn her dance into a twerking session.
He didn’t have to ask permission. He didn’t have to tell anyone where he was going. He was in control because she’d given him that gift. He leaned over and hauled her up and into his arms.
It was time to take off the mask and be real with the woman he loved.
Jared strode up the stairs, Sarah in his arms. He’d ignored everyone who stared at them. Even his brother. He’d caught the thumbs-up, but hadn’t even been tempted to stop for a high-five. Maturity. This must be what it felt like.
Or pure lust mixed with something infinitely soft and warm and safe.
He was going to make love to Sarah. He was going to spend the evening inside her and in the morning, they would leave this place together and he wouldn’t be away from her again.
Tonight, he intended to let her know what it meant to be his woman.
He reached the third-floor landing and the dungeon monitor looked up, obviously surprised he had guests so early in the evening. The man didn’t hesitate though. He quickly opened the door and ushered them inside one of the big privacy rooms Sanctum offered.
“Let me know if you need anything,” he said before shutting the door and closing them inside.
He wouldn’t. He was absolutely certain everything he needed was in this room. It would have a closet full of toys to play with, lube, condoms, anything he could want. He’d been in clubs like this across the globe and the great ones always were stocked with everything a Dom could need to play with his sub.
What none of those lush clubs had contained had been her. Sarah. His sub. His love.
He set her on her feet, and for a moment he couldn’t do anything but stare down at her. He reached up and eased the veil down, revealing the face he adored, the one that had haunted his dreams from the moment he’d met her. She had the fullest lips, like a bow wrapping up the gift of her body and soul. He couldn’t stop himself from reaching up and touching her, letting his hands frame her face.
“I thought you would be angry with me.” Out of his peripheral vision, he registered the room. There was a big bed and a nightstand. Off to his left was a door that didn’t lead to the hallway, likely the bathroom, and if he knew anything about Taggart it also had a shower or a tub to play in. There was a barn-style door that covered what he suspected was the closet full of toys. All he would have to do was push it aside to find a treasure trove.
Those lips quirked up slightly, in tandem with a single brow rising over her eyes. “Then why did you do it?”
“I thought if I showed you how good it could be, I might get away with it.” It was true, but not the whole truth. “I was desperate. I take it Kori told you. I didn’t think Kai would tell her, but I understand. She’s his wife. It has to be hard keeping secrets from her. Don’t be mad at Kai. It was me.”
Her hands came up and she ran her fingers along the line of his jaw. “Kori had no idea, and you’re a dumbass if you thought I wouldn’t know who you were. I came here tonight to explain to Sir that I wasn’t moving forward with him because I needed to go find my friend.”
God, how stupid had he been? She’d seen through his mask and she was still here with him. If he didn’t find his control, he would lose it, and this wasn’t the place. This was her club and he wanted to be her Dom.
“On your knees, Princess. That’s very fitting, you know. I can imagine you with a crown on your head. Get on your knees and we can have this conversation while I warm you up.”
Her eyes widened slightly. “Warm me up?”
There was another outcome he hadn’t entertained. “You asked me to bring you up here. Did you do that so you could yell at me in private?”
Her fingers slid under the mask and she pulled it off, tossing it to the bed. “No.”
“Did you ask me up here so we could have a long talk?”
Those sensual lips of hers turned up in the sweetest smile. “No, Jared.”
His anticipation ramped high, his cock tightening further, but he was okay with that. He didn’t want to rush things. They’d waited so long. He wasn’t going to throw her on the bed and have his way with her. His way with her was going to be slow and satisfying and incredibly kinky. “Then you asked me to bring you up here because you want me to make love to you. I want that, too, but it’s not going to be vanilla. I might have started in the lifestyle so I could understand my brother, but I found myself here. Any relationship with me is going to involve D/s, but you’ve been in this lifestyle as long as I have so I suspect you’re all right with that.”
“In the club and the bedroom I am.”
He needed to make a few things plain. “I assure you I will not limit our sex life to the club and the bedroom. If you let me, I’ll have you anywhere I want, any way I like. I won’t
be polite about it. I know I’m a laid-back guy and most of the time, I’ll let you lead. But to stay as laid back as I am, I need to feed the beast and, baby, my beast wants to eat you up.”
Her breath hitched slightly, just enough to let him know he’d gotten to her. “I think I can handle that.”
He reached out and sank his hands into her hair, twisting lightly. He needed to figure out what she liked sexually. He knew she was submissive, but he wanted to know her particular tastes. She enjoyed suspension and rope play. She liked a spanking. How far would she want him to take her? He tugged at her hair, forcing her head back, and watched as a shiver went through her. Her eyes dilated slightly.
“Sir when we’re playing, Sarah.” He let his tone go deep.
Her voice was breathy, a confection of pure desire. “Yes, Sir. I won’t forget, Sir.”
He released her, and through the thin fabric of the bodice she wore he could see her nipples had peaked. She liked having her hair played with and there was so much of it, it was a freaking amusement park he would explore to his heart’s content. “Now get on your knees while I figure out how to handle you tonight.”
There was the sexiest smile on her face as she dropped down to the floor in a graceful slide. Her knees splayed wide and he was glad he hadn’t commanded her to take her clothes off. There was something primal about the clothes she wore, and he got what Charlotte Taggart gained from this kind of play. They could shed their everyday modern personas here. They could peel away the layers of the complex beings they were and get to the root of their personalities. He could be the possessive, obsessive male he was deep down, and she could soften and give to her lover the way her deepest heart desired.
Sultan and beloved concubine.
Only here. In reality they were man and woman, lovers and equals, but here they could explore the depths of their relationship, their sexual selves. “If Kori didn’t tell you, how did you know?”
Those gorgeous eyes rolled. “Seriously? You wore a mask for seven years on Dart. I’m not supposed to know what you look like in a mask?”
“It’s a different kind of mask. That’s like saying I wore clothes for years. How could you not recognize me in clothes? This mask covers far more than the one I wore on Dart, and I shaved before I came in.” He’d tried to be careful. He’d known she hadn’t recognized his voice. He thought he would do the same with his face hidden behind the mask.
“You can’t hide the line of your jaw or the way your lips look. You have gorgeous lips, and I know the way your cheeks crease when you smile.”
She’d studied him the way he’d studied her. He pushed the door to the side and sure enough, there were all the things he would need to play with her, to take care of her.
His first time to really play with her, their first session that would end with them making love.
The beginning of his life.
“Well, from now on, I’ll know I can’t fool you. But still, I was worried when you found out you would be angry with me. I didn’t mean to manipulate you.” He had to get a few explanations out of the way.
“Yet you did,” she pointed out.
“Not very well, apparently.”
Her eyes were steady on him. “I was going to come back here. I was going to dance for Sir tonight. Until I saw you today at the game. I knew we had to resolve things before I tried to move on.”
The words stopped him in his tracks. “Move on? Is that what you’re trying to do? You want to move on from me? You’re going to have to tell me how to do it because I can’t seem to manage. It’s been a long time and I haven’t had a single relationship since I walked out on you.”
Her eyes came up, widening in obvious surprise. “Surely you’ve dated.”
Well, that answered one question he hadn’t asked. He’d tiptoed around Sarah’s dating life because he didn’t want to cause trouble in Kai’s marriage. “I haven’t. I won’t lie. I’ve played around at my club in Malibu, but I’ve only topped subs. No sex and no relationships. I’ve performed scenes that involved BDSM and nothing more. I couldn’t get you out of my head, hence the ridiculous mask I wore to try to tempt you back to me.”
Had he read the situation wrong? She was kneeling before him, obviously willing to submit, but did she plan to do it as a way to move on from him? To get him out of her system?
That could go wrong for her. He was going to make sure he was the trap she couldn’t wriggle out of. It would be a mistake to walk away if she confirmed that she was trying to fuck him out of her system.
He couldn’t walk away from her again. Not even if she said that was exactly what she wanted to do.
“I’ve gone on a couple of dates, but they didn’t lead to anything.” Her voice had gone soft. “I haven’t been able to forget you, either. I still don’t think this can work but I would like to spend the next couple of days with you. I have to take a trip starting Monday and it’s something I need to do by myself.”
He had no intention of letting her run off alone, but he needed to figure a few things out first. She was scared of something and she wasn’t willing to talk about it yet. If she would give him the weekend, maybe he could figure it out. “I think this can work, but I won’t stop you from doing something you need to do. I wish you would talk to me about it though.”
“It’s something I have to take care of myself,” she said, her eyes back on the floor. “I don’t want to talk about it right now. It’s a sabbatical and it’s not negotiable. If you can’t handle me taking a couple of weeks to myself, then we shouldn’t go any further, Sir.”
Tread lightly. He got the message. “You want to take it slow?”
Her eyes were back on him. “I don’t know. I think we’ve taken it quite slow. I would like to sleep with you. I was wrong to cut off our communications and I’d like to do what we talked about earlier today.”
“You want to be friends with me?”
“Friends with benefits,” she said wistfully. “How about we’re friends when you’re not in Dallas, and when you are here we explore a D/s relationship? We could start there.”
It wasn’t what he wanted, but it might be all she was willing to give him now. He’d broken trust with her. They hadn’t been together at the time, but they’d both known there was something between them. “All right, but you should know after I finish up the documentary, I’m going to spend more time in Dallas. I’m thinking about getting a place here since my only family is here.”
Her shoulders tightened, but he thought he knew what was going through her head. Maybe she didn’t need crazy impact play. Maybe what she needed was her Dom to worship her body, to lavish her with attention and affection until she couldn’t do anything but sleep in his arms.
He'd seen exactly the toy to help him with that, to sensitize her skin and remind her who was in charge.
“Take off your clothes, Princess. I’ve got a magic wand for you.”
He opened the case someone had labeled Do Subs Dream of Electric Sheep?
It was time to make his play.
Chapter Nine
In which our heroine gets lit up…
Sarah eased out of her clothes, careful not to look Jared’s way. “What are you planning?”
“You’ll find out.” He stepped in front of her and glanced down at her breasts, holding his hand out for the top she’d been wearing. “You’re every bit as beautiful as I thought you would be.”
“You’ve seen practically everything.” He’d played at Sanctum before. He’d seen her wearing next to nothing. She usually ended up topless at some point in the evening.
“But I’ve never had you undress for me and me alone. I want you naked in front of me. I want you to offer me every inch of your beauty.”
“What about the parts that aren’t beautiful?” It wasn’t a question she’d meant to ask him. She wanted to be utterly confident in front of him, but somehow he’d slipped under her armor.
“There’s not a single part of you that isn’t gorgeous t
o me.” He reached out and traced the stretch mark on the side of her right breast.
She’d had them since she was a teen, when, according to her mother, she’d “bloomed” early. Her breasts looked good. They were round and full, but her skin hadn’t kept up with all that blooming and she had some places where it showed. No one talked about that. A woman wasn’t supposed to get stretch marks unless she had a child, and that was never going to happen. It seemed wrong to have the marks and not the joy.
“Do you mind my scars?” he asked, his fingers tracing gently over her skin.
“Your scars are injuries. That just proves my boobs grew too fast.”
Before she could say another thing, he tweaked her nipple, a nasty twist that made her squeal.
“You’re perfect and these are perfect. Don’t say another bad thing about them.”
“I wasn’t saying something bad. I like my breasts.” But she had been thinking they weren’t perfect enough. She wasn’t a woman who thought that way often. She liked herself for the most part. But he was past gorgeous, enough to make anyone question themselves.
And yet for all his beauty, it hadn’t ensured him a perfect life. That was what she’d learned today. She’d known it, known his history. She’d even watched him on what had to be one of the worst nights of his life, but it hadn’t been until she’d seen him today that it had struck her deeply how hard it was to be Jared Johns. The world of the famous had its drawbacks.
“I like your breasts, too. We should make some rules.” He was back to gently skimming his fingers over her skin.
“How about I tell you if I don’t like something and we can hammer out a contract between us tomorrow?” She didn’t want to spend the whole night going over hard and soft limits. She trusted this man with her body.