by J. E. Parker
Turning to face me, he crossed his arms over his chest, and said, "You better not be getting ready to cry, shortcake."
I scoffed. "Who me? Nooooo," I replied, shaking my head even as the first wave of tears rolled down my face. "I never cry." Pointing to my cheeks, I continued, "This is just allergies."
Liar, liar, pants on fire.
Evan snorted from behind Ryker. Wrapping my arms around my belly, I leaned to the side and peered around my big brother. "Hey, big guy"—Evan's tantalizing eyes met mine—"put a lid on it."
He winked. "Yes, ma'am."
Brows furrowed, Ryker looked over his shoulder at Evan. "Ma'am?" he asked, confused. "Since when did you grow some fucking manners?"
Evan opened his mouth to respond but snapped it shut when Mama walked out of the front door of the house carrying a picnic basket that looked like it was filled to the brim with homemade goodies. “I made you boys some snacks for the road.” Like mine, her face was splotchy with tears too. "I figured you'd both be hungry before you crossed the state line."
Ryker jogged over to Mama, kissed her on the cheek, and took the basket from her hands. "You know us well, Mama."
"Course I do. Y'all are my boys." Her voice cracked on the last syllable. Picking at the hem of the pink apron she always wore, she took a deep breath before nodding toward the house. "Ryker, I need you to do something for me before you leave. Can you come inside for just a second?"
A look of suspicion crossed Ry’s face, but he nodded and headed for the door. Mama followed right behind him. Before stepping inside, she looked over at me. "I'll be back in a few minutes, sugar pea." Her eyes darted to Evan and a sneaky smile spread across her face. "I'll make sure you and Evan have plenty of time to say goodbye."
My mouth fell open.
I shouldn’t have been the least bit surprised that Mama had caught onto my feelings for Evan. She’d always been able to read me like a book. Truth be told, she probably knew that I was in love with him long before I did.
"Mama!" I pointed toward the door that Ryker had just disappeared through. "He'll hear you."
She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. "Your brother is just like your daddy. He’s denser than a block of wood when it comes to these things." She glanced inside the house. "Besides, he’s rummaging in the fridge for something else to eat. He's not paying us any mind." Rolling her eyes, she gestured at Evan and me. "You two behave. I'll keep your brother busy for a few." She blew a kiss in my direction before stepping back into the house.
Flabbergasted, I turned back to face Evan, only to be met with a fabric covered wall. I shrieked in surprise as his scent invaded my nose and big, brawny arms circled my waist. It took me a minute to realize that the brick wall my nose was smashed against was his chest.
To be so big he sure was quiet when he moved.
I dropped my head back and looked up at him. He was smiling from ear-to-ear. The sight almost knocked me on my butt. "I need to put a bell around your neck. That way you can't sneak up on me."
Ignoring my comment, he pulled a folded sheet of paper out of his back pocket and tapped it softly against my lips. "I stole something from you last night.” Pausing, he smirked. “And you didn't even notice."
My mind blanked. "What did you steal?" I didn't have anything— "Wait a minute." I snatched the folded piece of paper out of his hand. I recognized the cream colored paper immediately. "You took my sky drawing?" He nodded. "But why?"
Evan shrugged. "I've got big plans for it." His eyes searched mine. "You don't mind, do you?"
I shook my head. "Of course not." I didn't bother to ask what plans he had for it. I didn't care. All I cared about was that he wanted it. Silly as it sounds, Evan stealing one of my drawings—a piece of art I'd created—made me crazy happy. "I want you to have it."
"Good"—he lowered his face toward mine—"Because like you, I’m never letting it go."
My heart jumped in my chest. Feeling lightheaded, I placed my hands on his broad shoulders and held on for dear life. "I have a surprise for you."
Tightening his arms around me, he rocked me from side to side. The small motion was simple yet soothing. "It's in my back pocket. Can you get it?" I was afraid if I let go of his shoulders I'd fall over. My knees were weak, and my legs felt like limp noodles.
Without saying a word, Evan moved one of his hands down my back and over the swell of my butt before sliding his hand into my pocket. The warmth from his palm bled through the fabric of my jean shorts. "Oh, God," I whispered aloud as my skin heated. It felt like butterflies were doing the cha-cha in my lower belly.
Evan chuckled before wrapping his fingers around the small, leather satchel tucked in the bottom of my pocket. "This what you want me to grab?"
No. I want you to grab something else. Something that is all me, I mentally replied.
But instead of telling him that, I replied, "Yep, that's it."
Evan's hand lingered for a moment before he removed it from my pocket. He held the satchel up in front of my face. "What's in here?"
Forcing my anxiety back, I smiled and took it from his palm. "This," I said, loosening the drawstring, "is your gift. Close your eyes, big guy." He quirked a brow before doing as I asked. " Now hold out your arm."
"Hope—" "Put a cork in it, big guy," I snapped. "Just hold out your arm."
After mumbling something I didn't quite catch under his breath, he extended his arm.
I held my breath as I pulled the simple piece of jewelry I'd designed and made for him myself out of the nylon bag. Holding it between my shaking fingers, I slipped it around his wrist and snapped it into place. Like the locket he'd given me, the bracelet I'd made for him was simple. It consisted of two leather bands connected via a silver infinity symbol on the top. On the back, an alloy clasp secured it in place.
Looking down at the bracelet, I hoped the infinity symbol conveyed the words that I was too afraid to speak. I also prayed that Evan would understand their meaning.
Please, for the love of all that is holy, let him understand.
"Open your eyes." My voice was thick with anticipation.
Evan's eyes popped open and found the bracelet. I watched with rapt attention as the look of confusion plastered on his face was replaced with understanding.
"Hope… baby…" His voice trailed off. "An infinity symbol? Doesn't that mean—"
I nodded, cutting him off. "It means forever."
Inhaling sharply, he ran the palm of his hands down his face. "Jesus Christ." My stomach dropped at his words. Did he not like it? I thought after last night that he… well, I thought…
It doesn't matter what you thought, the voice in my head shouted.
Feeling myself deflate, I took a step back.
Evan dropped his hands and grabbed my sides, halting my retreat. "Oh no, you don't."
"You don’t like it, do you?" I felt vulnerable. Raw. Exposed. I didn't like it one bit. "I'm sorry, Evan." I grabbed the bracelet, intent on taking it off of him. If he didn't like it, I'd throw it away. There was no reason for me to keep it. "I'll just—"
Before I could blink Evan grabbed both of my wrists and pushed me back against the wall inside of the garage. "Don't you ever," his voice was deeper than I'd ever heard it, "try to take it from me again." His chest rose and fell in rapid succession. "You gave it to me, and now it's mine." Lifting my arms up, he pinned my hands above my head and pressed his rock-hard belly into my chest. I sucked in a breath. "And that's not the only thing you just gave me. You may not realize it, Hope, but you just sealed your fate."
The sound of the front door being pulled open reached my ears. "Yo, shithead!" Ryker yelled, no doubt searching the driveway for Evan. "Where the hell did he go?"
"Evan," I hissed, pushing against his hands. "He's coming."
Evan's fiery gaze stayed locked on me. "As soon as I come back, we're making this official, baby. The moment we leave Iraq, I’ll talk to Ryker. I’ll make him understand." I gulped. "Because I'm not puttin
g this off any longer. I've waited too long already."
Wait. What? He'd waited too long for what?
For me? Surely not.
"You're mine, Hope."
"Ev—"
Ryker's shout was cut off when Evan's lips descended on mine. His tongue delved into my mouth, and blood whooshed in my ears. I couldn't hear a single thing around me. The house could have exploded, the garage could have collapsed, and I wouldn't have known it.
I knew my brother could catch us at any moment, but at that point, I didn't care.
Lips fused, our tongues dueled. Pressing my body against his, I catalogued his solid muscles as I memorized his taste on my tongue. I inhaled, drawing his scent—a mixture of sandalwood and citrus—into my lungs. Both of our hearts jackhammered in our chests, completely in sync with one another.
Gravel crunched near the entrance of the garage.
Evan ripped his mouth from mine and took two steps back. Frustrated, he growled—low and deep—and clenched and unclenched his fists. I could tell he wanted to pull me back into his arms and continue what we’d started. Heck, I wanted to continue too.
But it was too late.
Our secret kiss was over, the moment shattered.
I was trying to get my erratic breathing under control when Ryker appeared in the open door of the garage. "Dude, what the hell? I leave for five minutes, and you disappear." His curious gaze met mine and a sly look spread across his face. "Oh, I know what you're up to."
I froze.
Crap! He didn't really know, did he?
"You trying to steal my baby sister, bro?" Ryker's smile grew. "Well, hate to say it, turd bucket, but you can't have her. She's mine. You’re stuck with Brantley."
I nearly choked. I hated keeping secrets from Ryker, but he didn’t need to know about this. Not when he was about to go on a deployment and his life, along with Evan’s, was at stake.
I’ll confess when they come back.
Spreading his arms out, he looked at me. "Are you going to come hug me goodbye or what? We've got to leave in less than five minutes.”
I didn't think twice before putting one foot in front of the other.
Running past Evan, I barreled towards Ryker. Jumping into his arms, I yelped as he caught me in the air and swung me around in a complete circle. His arms held me so tight I could hardly breathe. "I'm going to miss the shit out of you, shortcake."
"I'm going to miss you too," I replied as the tears started to flow again, bringing with them eight months’ worth of fear and worry. "I don't know what I'm going to do while y'all are gone." My heart felt like it was shattering. "I doubt I'll be able to function half the time."
Ryker lowered my feet to the ground. Wrapping his hand around my chin, he lifted my face to his. "Hey, cut that out." His eyes—ones that were identical to my own—were hard, but his voice was soft. "You're going to be fine. Time will fly." One corner of his mouth tipped up in a smile. "Besides, you'll be so busy saving the world and helping all those women and kids at the shelter that you won't have time to worry about me"—he nodded toward Evan—"or that overgrown idiot over there." I opened my mouth to argue with him, but he kept speaking, cutting me off. "Do you have any idea how proud I am of you?"
My heart skipped a beat. "You're proud of me?"
Ryker's eyes flared with disbelief. "Hope," he said, chuckling, "you make me prouder than anybody else ever has." Bopping me lightly on the nose with his finger he continued to stare into my eyes. "You, my sweet baby sister, are the apple of my eye.” His words were reminiscent of what Daddy used to say before he got sick and passed away. “You’re more than just my sister, Hope. You’re my pride and joy."
To hear my brother, one of the most honorable men I’d ever met, say that he was proud of me… There were simply no words to describe how that made me feel. "I’m proud of you too, jackbutt."
Ryker chuckled. “Twenty-two years old and you still don’t curse. I don’t know whether to be proud or completely horrified.”
I rolled my eyes. “You and Evan curse enough for all of us.”
“True.”
Every muscle in my body tensed as I held onto him for dear life. “I love you, Ry.”
Ryker exhaled before burying his nose in my hair and inhaling. “Love you too, shortcake. Take care of Mama for me, yeah?” Squeezing me tight, he pressed a kiss to my forehead and hugged me one last time.
After releasing me, he took a step back and looked at Evan. "Time to go, shithead." Ryker's voice was gravely and filled with raw emotion. He looked a hairbreadth away from shedding a couple of tears himself.
Evan's footsteps sounded from behind me. "I'm coming, dickface."
I cringed at the names they called one another. "Y'all are horrible to each other."
Ryker smirked. "It's all in good fun."
"Ryker Jason Peterson," Mama hollered from the driveway. "Get your rear end down here and give me a hug." Standing tall, she placed her hands on her hips and did her best to plaster a fierce expression on her face. She failed miserably. "You’re not too old for me to paddle, son." I snorted at her empty threat. Mama had never paddled Ryker nor I a day in her life. I doubted she was about to start now.
With a chuckle, Ryker headed for her.
I turned to face Evan. He was leaning against the garage wall, his legs crossed at the ankles and his arms crossed over his chest. Closing the space between us, I slid my arms around his neck and stood on my tip-toes to bring my face closer to his. "You better write me a letter every week." Uncrossing his arms, he placed his hands on my hips. Bending at the waist, he pressed his face into my neck and inhaled. Deeply. My belly flipped as I continued speaking, "And you better call me when you can."
"I will." His lips secretly tasted my skin. "I swear."
I don't know how much time passed before Ryker yelled, "Quit flirting with my sister, Sgt. Morgan, and come the hell on," from down the driveway.
If he only knew.
Dropping my arms from Evan's shoulders, I took a step back. "Guess you better go."
Steeling his jaw, Evan jerked his head down once in affirmation and turned to leave. I counted his steps as he walked away from me. One. Two. Three. Four—
He stepped out of the garage and I followed right behind him.
"Remember what I said, Hope," Ryker yelled as he opened the passenger's door of Evan's truck. "I’m proud of you." He tapped his chest twice with his fist before pointing a finger in my direction. “Go save the world, baby sis. It’s what you were meant to do."
"Love you, Ry.” My entire being ached. Mama stood beside me and wrapped an arm around my waist. I looked at Evan who was standing beside the open truck door, about to climb in. "And I love you, big guy." Mama sucked in a breath. Unlike clueless Ryker, she knew the true depth and meaning of my words. "More than all the stars in the sky."
Evan lifted his right arm in the air and pointed at the bracelet wrapped around his wrist. "Forever, Hope."
I nodded. "Forever."
Ryker sat in the passenger's seat of the truck, looking through the picnic basket Mama had given him, not paying any attention to what was going on.
Typical Ryker.
Without saying another word, Evan climbed into the truck, started the ignition, and backed out of the driveway, taking my heart with him.
I began to fall apart as the truck roared up the road, putting more distance between all of us. Mama held me tighter in response. A sob wracked her body, and she leaned against me for support. I clung to her like a lifeline.
At a stop sign, Evan turned right and disappeared from our sight.
My heart broke.
My soul wept.
"They're gone." Grief consumed me.
Mama hiccuped as she continued to sob. "T-they'll be b-back."
Her words brought me no comfort.
I had a horrible, gut-wrenching feeling that she was wrong.
And that feeling? It turned out to be right.
Three
&nbs
p; Evan
Four Months Later
Baghdad, Iraq
It was a hundred degrees.
Covered in sweat from head-to-toe, I stood ankle deep in a mixture of desert sand and loose dirt as the unforgiving sun beat down on me from above. Each time I took a breath my lungs burned from the near-suffocating heat.
It was hell.
“Man, it’s hotter than the Devil’s armpit out here,” Ryker bitched from beside me. Using the back of his arm he wiped away a river of sweat cascading down his face. “Swear to God, you could fry an egg on the top of my head.”
Nodding in silent agreement, I pulled a box of MRE’s out of the Humvee we were standing next to and tossed it over to him. “Quit bitching, pretty boy, and help me hand this stuff out.” Sweat dripped into my eyes, but I paid it no attention. “The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can move on.” I grabbed another MRE-filled box before dropping it to the ground beside my feet. “The longer we stay in one place, the larger of a target we become.”
“Yeah, yeah, I got it, Sarge,” Ryker grumbled. “Don’t worry, I don’t plan on getting shot or blown up today.”
“You saying shit like that is tempting fate, Ry.” I glared at him. “I don’t like it.”
He laughed, I didn’t. I wasn’t afraid to die, but I had no plans to either. I had too much to live for. I had a family that loved me, a girl that I knew I’d one day marry, and future kids I wanted to raise. I wasn’t about to die in a third-world shithole like Iraq.
“Kids are coming,” Ryker barked, his voice suddenly stern.
I sucked in a much-needed breath. “Let’s get it done.”
Every day before we left on patrol we handed out whatever supplies we could spare to the locals. It was our way of kissing ass. By giving out goods we tried to convince the citizens to back us rather than the insurgents hiding all over the city. Sometimes it was medical stuff, sometimes it was food.
Today it was MRE's.
I spun around. “Mendoza,” I said, talking to the machine gunner who stood above me in the turret of the Humvee. “Keep your eyes on those buildings over there.” Reaching behind me, I grabbed the radio. Pressing the button on the side, I spoke into the speaker. “I want eyes on the buildings and alleyways. If you see anybody suspicious keep them in your sights and radio it in.”