Every Promise You Made

by J. E. Parker

  Shelby and I may not have been sisters in the traditional sense, but that didn’t matter.

  Like Maddie, I loved her and by extension, Lucca and Melody, just the same.

  “M’hm,” Shelby hummed. “So”—she pointed into the quiet apartment behind me—“I’m gonna need you to go back inside, take a quick shower, and get dressed. We’ve got stuff to do, my little muffin.”

  I continued to hold Lucca tight. “What kind of stuff?”

  Shelby smiled. “We’re going to breakfast,” she paused, “at Grandmama’s.”

  Oh, Lord.

  Grandmama was Maddie’s loud-mouthed, gun-toting, church-going, flower hat-wearing grandmother. Though she’d claimed every single one of Maddie’s friends and co-workers as her ‘grandbabies’ none of us complained. Not only was she hilarious, but she was one of the best people I’d ever meet.

  Even if she is crazy.

  “Give me thirty minutes.” I bent over and stood Lucca on the ground. He protested for a moment before latching onto Shelby’s leg. “Want me to meet you downstairs?”

  Shelby nodded. “Yeah. Maddie’s down there. Clara needed some forms filled out so her and Carissa could go shopping. Our mystery good Samaritan left another thick envelope of cash in the donation box. So the girls are going to Costco to stock up on diapers and stuff. We’re running low on just about everything.”

  For the past couple of years someone—who that someone was, we didn’t know—had been dropping off various amounts of cash in the donation box outside. The amount ranged from a little over a thousand bucks to upwards of five grand. With limited funding, the shelter was always strapped for cash, but with the help of the mystery person's donations, we always had diapers, formula, clothing, and other necessities on hand for our residents.

  Though I understood people’s need for anonymity, I wished whoever was doing it would come forward, if only for me to hug them.

  “Alright,” I said, taking a step back. “I’ll meet you in the office in half an hour.”

  Shelby picked Lucca up and nodded. “Thirty minutes, Hope. Not a second later.”

  With one last wink in my direction, she turned on her heel and headed for the staircase.

  Over her shoulder, Lucca waved in my direction. “Bye-bye, Aunt Ho Ho!”

  I giggled before blowing him a kiss. “Bye, baby.”

  I stepped back into the apartment, shut the door and headed for the shower.

  Forty-Five Minutes Later

  Shelby nor Maddie were waiting for me in the office when I got downstairs.

  Instead, Clara—a former Shelter resident turned employee—was sitting behind the desk. She looked up when I walked in. “Morning, shorty.”

  “Morning, red,” I looked around the otherwise empty room. “Where’s Thelma and Louise? Did they already leave?” I rolled my eyes. “They forgot about me, didn’t they?”

  Clara snorted. “No. They’re outside. Maddie said to tell you they’d be waiting in the car.” Her eyes twinkled, and a grin lit up her face. “Shelby was bitching about you learning to tell time because you said thirty minutes and well...”

  Umm, oops?

  “You know how she gets when she’s hungry.”

  I did know. “I guess I better head out there then. Do you need anything before I go?”

  She looked back down at her paperwork and blew a bubble with the gum she was chewing on. “Nope. Y’all have fun. But tell Grandmama she owes me a gravy biscuit.”

  “Will do. Call me if you need anything.”

  Clara nodded. “Sure thing. Have a good time. God knows you need it after spending all night with Evan. The man was in a mood last night. I swear sometimes he gets grumpier than a grizzly bear sporting a hangnail.”

  I ignored her statement about Evan.

  Mainly because I didn’t want to think about him.

  “Bye, Clara.”

  It was the last thing I said before heading outside.

  Shelby glared at me as I approached Maddie’s jeep.

  Sticking her head out the window, she asked, “Do I need to buy you a watch?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Hushie tushie, Blondie. You saw my hair. It took ten minutes to get the tangles out.”

  She curled her upper lip. “Well, at least you don’t smell funky anymore.”

  It took every ounce of self-control I possessed not to flip her off. “Ha-ha, aren’t you a regular comedian?”

  From the driver’s seat, Maddie chastised us both. “Don’t you two start.” She looked at me. “Hurry, muffin! I’m starving.”

  I opened the rear passenger's door and jumped in the backseat.

  Disappointment set in when I didn’t see Melody in her car seat. “Where’s my Melly Belly?”

  Maddie glanced at me over her shoulder. “She’s with her daddy. I tried to bring her with me, but Hendrix practically shoved me out the door.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh at the image. Melody was only five months old, but she already had her daddy wrapped around her tiny little finger. It was both hilarious and endearing at the same time.

  Big bad Hendrix Cole has been brought to his knees by a baby.

  “Gotcha. So, are we—”

  “Oh my God!” Shelby shouted, throwing her hands up in the air. “Would you two stop yapping so we can go? I’m fricken starving.”

  “Someone is hangry this morning,” Maddie mumbled under her breath as she put the car in drive. “I should’ve brought you a Snickers bar or something.”

  Shelby stuck her tongue out and smacked Maddie’s upper arm. “Step on it, cupcake.”

  From beside me, Lucca, who’d been quiet up to that point, threw his arms up in the air and shouted, “Go, go, gooooo!”

  Unable to deny Lucca, Maddie pulled out of the Shelter’s gravel parking lot and stepped on the gas. Without a backward glance, we headed for Grandmama’s house.

  Eleven

  Evan

  I woke to silence.

  Unlike every other Saturday morning, the sound of Hope trying to cook breakfast didn’t fill the small space we shared. The clatter of pans and her off-tune singing were absent, and the smell of burnt bacon and scorched eggs didn’t waft through the air.

  For a second I thought she’d overslept.

  But then I realized that wasn’t the case.

  It might’ve taken my brain a second or two to catch on, but my heart already realized she wasn’t there. And when I say there, I don’t mean the apartment. I mean, she was gone, as in, she wasn’t in the same building. Call it instinct, call it an internal radar, whatever, but I’d always been able to sense when Hope was near.

  But that day all I sensed was emptiness.

  She’s gone.

  Panic coursed through me.

  “Fuck,” I cursed, rolling out of bed. “She never leaves without me.”

  I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and I called her. The phone rang three times. “Come on, baby, pick it up.” Two more rings. “Pick it up.” One more ring. Then, “Hi, this is Hope. Leave a message and I’ll—”

  I hung up.

  Pulling a shirt on over my head, I rushed down the hall and moved into the living room. Hope’s scent lingered but her purse, along with her phone and keys, were gone. I crossed the room and looked out the window next to the fire escape. The silver Civic she’d had since high school was still parked in the lot below. It was obvious she’d left with someone.

  It was obvious who that someone was.

  “Fucking, Shelby.”

  I shook my head and grabbed my wallet along with my keys off the coffee table before sliding on my boots and running out the door, not even bothering to lock it behind me. Downstairs, I stuck my head into the office and found Clara and Carissa sitting behind Maddie’s desk. “Either of you seen, Hope?”

  Carissa shook her head.

  Clara though? She glared at me. “Why? What did you do now, jackass?”

  “I didn’t do shit,” I lied.

  “Bullshit,” Clara sn
apped back. She’d gotten a mouth on her lately. “If you haven’t done anything then why did Hope look like crap this morning?”

  “What do you mean she looked like crap?”

  Hope never looked bad. Even when she was sick, she was still the most beautiful girl in the world. Hell, she was even a pretty crier.

  “Well,” Clara replied, standing from the desk. “When she came down here looking for Maddie and Shelby, she had bags under her eyes, and her face looked puffy. That screams lack of sleep.” Hands on her hips, she continued to glare at me. “And the only reason Hope loses sleep is over you.”

  My hackles rose.

  I don’t have time for this.

  “Damn it, Clara, where is she?”

  Lips locked tight, she stayed silent.

  Carissa, however, didn’t. “Maddie mentioned something about breakfast at Grandmama’s house.” She averted Clara’s shocked stare. Carissa hardly ever spoke, much less to me. “Might want to try there.”

  I tapped the door frame twice with my knuckles. “Thanks, C.”

  Turning around, I jogged down the hall.

  Outside, I jumped in my truck.

  I tried calling Hope one last time as I started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. Again, I got her voicemail. Just hearing her voice even if it was via a recorded message made my heart pound. “Hope,” I paused, overwhelmed with the need to get to her, “I don’t know why you left without me but I’m coming after you.” Squeezing the phone tight, I flicked on my turn signal with my free hand and turned right. “Right or wrong, baby, I’ll always come after you.”

  With that, I hung up.

  I parked in front of Grandmama’s house ten minutes later.

  When I climbed out of the truck, someone shouted my name. “Evan!”

  Slamming my door shut, I turned around and came face-to-face with the Mouth of the South AKA Shelby. She was walking down the driveway in front of her house—which was across the street from Grandmama’s—carrying a casserole dish in her hands.

  “Me and you need to talk,” she said, her face hard.

  I dropped my head back and stared up at the sky. “I don’t have time for this shit, Shelby. I need to talk to Hope.”

  “Oh no, sweetheart, that’s not how this works.” After placing the casserole on the hood of my truck, she turned to face me. “You’re not going anywhere until I’ve said my piece.”

  My eyes met hers. “Then say it already.”

  I’d been without Hope long enough. It was making my skin twitch. I needed to see her, needed to touch her. I had to know she was alright. If Shelby didn’t hurry up and say whatever was rolling around in her head, I was liable to snap.

  I was worse than a junkie needing a fix.

  “I have one simple question.” Shelby's voice was saccharine sweet, and that didn’t bode well for me.

  “Yeah?” I asked, looking at Grandmama’s house. “And what’s that?”

  Come on, baby. Look out the window. Give me a small glimpse.

  Shelby snapped her fingers in front of my face, drawing my attention back to her. “Hey,” she fussed, “look at me you overgrown jackass.”

  I looked down at the little tyrant. “What the hell do you want from me?”

  “What I want,” she replied in a pissy tone, “is to know when you’re going to get your shit together.” When I didn’t reply, she continued. “Because this half-assed effort you’re giving Hope? It has to stop, Evan.”

  I ground my back teeth together. “Stay out of it, Shelby.” My voice held a warning.

  A warning that Shelby didn’t heed. “No,” she hissed, her attitude in full force. “I’m not staying out of anything. Hope is my friend, and I’m sick and tired of seeing her hurt.”

  My head snapped back as if she’d punched me. “I don’t hurt her!”

  It was a lie. I knew it. Shelby knew. Hell, everybody knew it.

  Whether I did it on purpose didn’t matter.

  The bottom line was that by keeping constant space between us, I was tearing Hope apart.

  And it’s killing me too.

  The only problem was, I couldn’t fix it.

  As much as I wished stuff was different, it never would be.

  I don’t deserve her…

  I’m the cause of all her pain…

  I’ll just hurt her more…

  “Yeah? Is that why she looked like she spent half the night crying?” Disgust crossed her face. “How can you keep doing this, knowing good and dang well you’re hurting her?"

  “Because I have no other choice!”

  Shelby wasn’t intimidated by my raised voice. “The hell you don’t!” She hollered right back. “That girl”—she pointed toward Grandmama’s house—“has never hurt a soul in her life. She doesn’t deserve this shit.” I opened my mouth to reply, but she kept speaking, cutting me off. “And I don’t want to hear your excuses anymore. Either get it together and love her the way she deserves to be loved or let her go so someone else can.”

  What little patience I had evaporated. “That’s not happening.” My voice was low and lethal sounding. “Hope is mine, Shelby, and nothing”—I looked into her eyes—“will ever change that.”

  Shelby’s jaw ticked. “Do you love her?”

  My reply was swift. “More than anything in this godforsaken world.”

  Exasperated, she threw her hands up in the air. “Then why are you doing this? Why do you keep pushing her away? Why won’t you open up to her?”

  “Because if I open up to her, then she’ll find out the truth.” I didn’t stop to think about what I was saying. “And if she finds out the truth, it’ll destroy what’s left of her.” I stepped closer to Shelby, closing the gap between us. “You think I’m breaking her heart now? Then trust me, Blondie , you don’t want to see what will happen if she ever finds out the secrets I’ve kept buried.”

  Something in my words must’ve resonated with Shelby because a look of understanding followed by a flash of pity crossed her features. A few moments passed before she asked, “What secrets, Evan?” I turned to walk away, but she reached out and wrapped her fingers around my forearm. “No,” she whispered, holding on tight. “I’m not letting you walk away. Not until you tell me.”

  “Why does it matter to you?” I asked in confusion.

  Dropping her hand from my arm, Shelby crossed her arms over her chest. “Because I care.” Her reply was sincere. “I care about Hope, I care about you, and I care that you’re both hurting.” Averting her gaze, she looked off into the distance. “And don’t forget, I’m the queen of secrets and hidden truths. You know what I went through, you watched it with your own eyes.” Tears filled her blue eyes and the urge to pull her into my arms and comfort her grew. Shelby was a pain in my ass ninety-nine percent of the time, but I still cared about her. I didn’t want to see her in pain whether it be physical or emotional. “And you witnessed first-hand how my secrets almost tore me apart.” Shaking her head back and forth she grabbed the front of my shirt and jerked me forward. “I don’t care how far down you’ve buried those secrets, get a shovel and dig them the hell up.”

  If only it were that easy.

  “Are you listening?” She pulled me forward again. “Or do I need to smack you upside the head a few times to get my point across?”

  I jerked back, ripping her hand free of my shirt. “Let it go, Shelby.” Pulse-pounding, I felt like my head was about to combust. My blood pressure was sky high. “It’s not as easy as you make it sound.” Needing to put space between us, I spun around and took three steps forward.

  Shelby followed right behind me, not allowing me to retreat. “Then make me understand!” Swooping around to stand in front of me, she placed her hands on her hips. I growled in response.

  She was driving me nuts!

  Shelby leaned forward, an evil looking sneer plastered on her face. “Either talk or I swear I'll junk punch you so hard you’ll never get the chance to give Hope little dark haired broody babies
.”

  “Shelby”—I sighed—“just back the hell off.”

  She huffed out a breath. “Not happening. I don’t care what I’ve got to do, I'll get the truth out of you. Because despite what you say, it can’t be that bad. I mean, it’s not like you killed someone or—”

  I snapped.

  “You want to know my secret? The one that would destroy Hope if she ever found out?”

  And cause me to lose her forever? I mentally added.

  Voice raised, I clenched my hands into tight fists. Most women would have been terrified of me in that state. But not Shelby. She was like a honey badger; she didn’t give a shit. “Is that what you want?”

  She didn’t hesitate in replying. “Yes.”

  My insides raged as I looked her in the eyes and said, “I fucking killed her brother!”

  The words hung between us.

  Eyes wide, Shelby’s mouth dropped open.

  On a roll and not able to stop the words spilling from my mouth, I continued, “I may not have pulled the trigger, but my mistake cost him his life.”

  All because I let my emotions, not my head, drive me.

  “One choice, one wrong choice, and I became the reason for Hope’s pain.” My anger was replaced with straight up agony. Feeling like I was being ripped apart from the inside out by a million shards of glass, I placed my fisted hands on the side of my truck and rode the wave of pain. “Ryker, my best friend, is dead because of me, Shelby, and nothing you can say will change that.”

  “Evan—”

  I shook my head, cutting her off. I didn’t want to hear her try to comfort me. “Don’t.” I took a step back and dropped my hands from the truck. “Just don’t. I know you mean well but leave this one alone.”

  One look at her face and I knew she wouldn't listen.

  No surprise there.

  Unable to deal with her or the ghosts of my past anymore, I moved towards Grandmama’s house, leaving Shelby behind. I didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to air out my feelings. I’d already said more than I should’ve.

  At that moment, all I wanted was Hope.