by J. E. Parker
My center made contact with the hardness straining against the front of his jeans and a toe-curling thrill raced through me. I gasped as beads of sweat formed along the column of my spine.
Evan cursed. “Fuck, Hope.”
That’s the plan.
I slid my hands down his abs and hooked my fingers into his waistband. “Want to know a secret?” He nodded once. “When I touch myself, I think of you.” His gaze speared into mine. “Imagining your face above me, thinking of how it will feel when you're inside of me, those are the ways I make myself come.”
Evan remained silent though his body shook.
I moved my hands and unsnapped the lone button on his jeans.
In the blink of an eye, I’d tugged his zipper, spread the opening, and exposed him to me.
Would ya look at that… the big guy goes commando.
I slipped my hand into his jeans and wrapped my hand around his throbbing length.
Oh. My. Frickin’. GOD!
I smiled to myself and pulled his cock out of his jeans. “Well,” I licked my lower lip, “your nickname just took on a whole new meaning, big guy.” My belly filled with excitement and a lot of nervousness. “You’re like”—my eyes dropped to the monstrosity I held in my hand—“enormous, and well, I’m not.” A nervous chuckle escaped my lips. “Not sure how this will work.”
But I'm definitely going to find out. Or else die trying.
Evan’s silence weighed on me. Needing him to speak, I tightened my hand around his shaft and slid my palm down his length. His eyes closed and a bead of sweat formed on his brow.
Body burning with an unspoken need, I shuffled beneath him. “Ev,” I whimpered, “I need you to touch me.” The hand that laid over the top of my breast had stilled. “I don’t care what you do”—I paused for a moment as the ache intensified—“but I need you to do something.”
Or else I'll lose my dang mind.
Without saying a word, Evan’s hands dropped to grip the hem of the jersey I wore. His warm breath wafted over my face sending chills racing down my spine. “If you aren’t sure, or if you need me to stop, I need you to....” I remained silent as his voice trailed off. “Tell me now, Hope, because if you don’t, I won’t be able to control myself.”
His words send excitement rushing through me.
Talk dirty, fight dirtier… make it impossible for him to say no.
I squeezed his cock again, and it jerked in response. “I want you to lose control.” It was the truth. “I want you to take me like you’ve always wanted to .” I pressed my lips against his skin and nibbled on the juncture of his shoulder and throat. “Remember that summer before you left for boot camp."
I sure as heck did.
“How many nights did we trespass at the rock quarry to go swimming?” My tongue peeked out, tasting his flesh. “I saw the way you looked at me back then too. I’ve never forgotten how your eyes stayed glued to me when I took off my clothes, revealing the black bikini I always wore when you were around.”
Another stroke of his cock.
“Tell me, big guy, did you imagine what it would be like to slide it off me, bit by bit?” He groaned in response, and I kept going, egging him on. “Did you imagine what my skin would taste like? Did you imagine what it would feel like to slide inside of me? Did you imagine how wet, hot, and tight—”
Evan ripped off the jersey—his jersey—that I was wearing and tossed it to the floor beside us. His gaze landed on my breasts before sliding down over my belly and to my bare mound. “Fuck me,” he hissed, running his palm across his jaw. “You always forget to wear panties when you wear my shirts to bed?”
My eyes dipped to his cock I still held in my hand. “You always forget to wear boxers when I’m around?”
I didn’t expect him to respond, but he did. “Hell yes,” he whispered, his eyes still glued to the secret place between my legs. “Makes it easier to jack off after watching you prance around in shorts all day.” He licked his lower lip as his fingers traced my inner thigh.
My core clenched. “What do you think about?”
His eyes found mine. “When I jack off?” I nodded. “You.” His response was swift. “You’re all I ever think about.” He chewed on his bottom lip for a moment before releasing it. “You have no idea how many times I’ve had to stop myself from dropping to my knees and burying my face in your pussy.” Clenching his jaw, his eyes dropped back down my body. “But now…” His voice trailed off. “Now you’ve changed the game, little bit. I’ve seen you, I’ve smelled you”—another pause—“and now I’m about to taste you.” I gasped. “After this, I may not be able to keep my hands to myself.
Good, I thought. It’s about time!
He placed his hands on the soft curve of my hips and slid his palms up to cup my breasts. “These,” he said, giving them a soft squeeze, “are fucking perfect. Just like the rest of you.”
Body trembling, I held myself up on my elbows. “You don’t think they’re too small?” Even though I burned hotter than an oven, insecurity still lurked. I’d always thought I was pretty, but I wasn’t built like some women.
I didn’t have big boobs like Shelby or a butt that made men drool like Clara.
I was only a B cup, and like the rest of me, my butt was small.
I mean, I still had curves, they were just smaller than most.
Brow furrowed, Evan repeated my question. “Too small?” I gave a quick, jerky nod. “Nah, baby, they’re the perfect handful.”
Oh god.
I felt like I was coming out of my skin as I anchored my hands on his shoulders. “I need you, Evan.” My voice was a whisper. “I’ve waited long enough.”
His eyes blazed pure fire. “Tell me what you need.”
I pressed my chest into his. “I need you…” My voice shook as nervous energy took root in my belly. “I need you inside of me. Now.”
Evan needed no further prodding from me.
Wrapping one arm around my back and one around my legs, he lifted me into the air bridal style. We moved across the hall and into his bedroom where he dropped me onto the center of his queen sized bed before following me down.
“I’ve wanted you in my bed since I was eighteen,” he said, his body covering mine. He pushed himself to his hands and hovered over me. “I want to take my time, want to get to know your body.” His gaze slid over inch every of me. “But I don’t know if I can wait to be inside of you.”
Yes, please!
With no warning, he slid a lone finger inside of me. The intrusion burned and my hips jerked off the bed in response. His face hardened. “I can’t believe I’m about to ask you this but when was the last time you had sex?”
Uh, well.
I crossed my fingers that he wouldn’t freak out and jerk away from me before replying. “I’ve never had sex.” Evan’s eyes flared. Scared to death he would erect walls between us—again—I continued, “I mean, I’m not a virgin, I don’t think.”
He blinked in confusion. “You don’t think?”
Ah, God, this is embarrassing!
“I, umm…”
Just tell him, dummy!
“In tenth grade, me and Jeremy Henderson messed around a little. He used his hand and well…”
Seriously, kill me now.
“But that’s about as far as I’ve gone.”
Evan’s face hardened. I knew he was thinking of a million different ways to kill poor Jeremy. Those two had never liked each other, and after dating the dickhead for an entire two weeks when I was sixteen, I now knew why.
Arrogant, wannabe player, disgusting pig… Jeremy was all three.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why haven't you been with anyone since then? You lived on campus at college, baby. Most girls go wild when they get their first taste of freedom at that age.”
As Shelby would say, Is he frickin serious?
I gripped his hair in my hands. “Well, I’m not most girls.” As if that wasn’
t obvious. “And to answer your question as to why I haven’t been with anyone else, it’s because one day you smiled at me and I fell head over heels in love with you.” His face softened. “After that, I wanted no one else.” Feeling my bottom lip tremble, I placed my hands on his cheeks. “Don’t you see, big guy? It’s been you since I was a seventeen.” No truer words had ever been spoken. “And it’ll be you until the day I die.”
A searing kiss was the only reply Evan gave.
He slammed his lips down onto mine and plunged his tongue into my mouth.
For the second time in my life, I thought I’d reached nirvana.
Little did I know, I hadn’t come close yet.
Evan draped one of my legs over his hip and then pulled away from me, breaking our kiss. “Last chance, baby. Tell me to stop.”
No way.
I wrapped my hand around his cock and guided him to my entrance. His tip brushed against me, and I became frantic. “Evan,” I moaned, wiggling my hips to take him. “Please.”
Evan wrapped his fingers around my wrist and pulled my hand away.
He lined his cock up with my entrance and slipped the barest of an inch inside before he pulled back out. Then, his eyes met mine. “If you give me this,” he said, his voice low and strained, “if you let me take you, you’re sealing your fate, Hope.”
Tears filled my eyes. Big surprise there, right?
I forced my voice to remain steady as I replied, “My fate was sealed the night you clasped your locket around my neck.” The first tear fell, and I dug my fingers into his shoulders. “And you sealed yours when you secured my bracelet around your wrist.” Tears of his own filled Evan’s eyes. “I know we’re messed up and it's obvious that what we have between us isn’t healthy but it’s still us.”
“Hope,” he whispered my name before burying his face in my neck.
“I love you, Evan.” My heart almost burst. “More than all the stars in the sky.”
Evan’s body jerked once, and I wrapped my arms around him holding him close.
He pushed back up to his hands and looked down at me with glassy eyes. “I realize I’m fucked up, baby,” he said, burying his hand in my hair. “But you make me want to be a better man. You make me want to fix my issues.” One of his tears fell onto my cheek where it mingled with one of my own. “I'll make this right. Swear on my life, I'll get better for you.”
Lightness spread through me as I held him tighter. “Promise?”
He hooked one of his pinky fingers with one of my own. “It’s a pinky promise, beautiful girl.”
Again, Evan’s lips met mine. This time though, the kiss only lasted a second.
He sat back on his calves and lifted my legs onto his shoulders and lined the tip of his cock up with my entrance one last time. “Are you on birth control?”
I nodded. “Yeah but not for the reason you think. It’s to help with…” My voice trailed off. “… to help with girl things.”
Like debilitating cramps and heavier than normal periods.
Evan nodded. He understood what I was trying to explain. “You good with me taking you bare? I’m clean, baby. Got tested before I left for boot camp. All clear.”
Wait.
What?
“Before you left?” My brows furrowed. “What about after?
His eyes bored into mine. “I haven’t been with anybody since I was eighteen, Hope.” Placing a hand on my belly, he trailed his fingers around my belly button. “Not since I realized what you were.”
“Yeah?” My voice was whisper quiet. “And what am I?”
He bent at the waist and placed his arms on each side of me, caging me in. Dipping his face closer to mine, he whispered, “My everything.”
I stopped breathing.
Evan leaned back again. Gazes locked, he whispered, “Tell me you’re mine, Hope.”
I didn’t hesitate. “I’m yours.”
Without wasting another second, he slid inside of me in one slow thrust.
I’d expected pain, yet there was none.
A slight discomfort? Yes.
Pain? No.
Evan entwined our fingers together. “I’m yours too.” He raised my hand into the air and kissed the inside of my wrist. “Forever, baby.”
Wearing a smile I hadn’t seen in over three years, he moved.
And that’s when I found nirvana.
Twenty-One
Evan
The sun peeked through the blinds.
It was almost eight in the morning, and I was wide awake. That wasn’t saying much considering I hadn’t slept a wink all night. I’d been too busy staring at Hope, who was lying on top of me, her arms and legs clamped around me like she feared I’d leave.
Like that would ever happen.
Seated on Cloud Nine, I couldn’t believe I’d made love to her.
Scared that it would be the first and last time, I’d taken her through the night, but I hadn’t stopped until she could no longer hold her eyes open. It was selfish as hell of me to do, but I couldn’t stop myself.
Hope didn’t stop me either.
When I slowed my pace, she begged for me to go faster.
When I shortened my thrusts, she demanded that I sink deeper.
It was the closest to heaven I’d ever get.
Carefully sliding her off of me, I climbed out of bed.
She reached for my pillow and wrapped her arms around it. She smelled the cotton fabric and whispered my name. “Evan.”
My chest warmed at the sight. I bent over and rubbed my finger along her cheek. “Sleep tight, baby. I’ve got a few calls to make.”
I gave her one last appreciative look before walking away. Making my way out to the kitchen, I grabbed my cell phone off the counter where I’d left it. Glancing down at the screen, I dialed my brother’s number.
He answered on the third ring. “Whaddup, dickface?” He asked. “It’s about time you called. If you didn't call within the next few days, I was going to call Hope.” Taking a bite of something, he continued, “Probably going to call her anyway. I miss shortcake, man.” He took another bite of whatever he was eating. “You better be treating her right too. If not, I’m going to drive down there and beat your ass.”
Yeah, I’d like to see you try.
I leaned back against the wall. “I hope Isabelle isn’t standing near you.” Isabelle was my three-year-old niece. Along with another pint-sized female, she owned me; heart, body, mind, and soul. And she loved me too. Not as much as she loved Hope, but I’d take whatever I could get.
I made my way to the fridge and pulled the jug of milk out. Tearing off the unopened tab, I placed it against my lips and drank a few gulps straight from the container.
If Hope catches me, she’ll kill me.
“No,” Brantley snapped. “You know I don’t speak like that in front of her. I leave the cursing like a drunken sailor to my ex, the stupid witch.”
“I take it co-parenting with Chastity isn’t going so well?”
What sounded like a snarl echoed through the phone. “Don’t get me started,” he replied in a serious tone. “I’m not in the mood to talk about my soon to be ex-wife.”
“Fine”—I put the milk back in the fridge and sat down at the small kitchen table—“I need to talk to you about something important, though.”
“Ah, fuck,” he cursed before transitioning into attorney mode. “You didn’t get someone pregnant did you?” Before I could answer him, he kept speaking, cutting me off. “If you did, it better be Hope. If not, Madre, along with Papa are going to kill you. Then I’ll bury your corpse in a shallow grave for them. You know we love that girl as much as you do.”
I did know. “Don’t worry, I didn’t get some random whore knocked up.”
That’s your forte, not mine, I thought.
“And Hope isn’t pregnant either.”
Brantley blew out a breath. “Alright, so, what’s up?”
I rested my hips against the counter and dipped my head f
orward. “You still have that contact at the VA?”
“The one who makes the counseling appointments?”
I nodded even though he couldn’t see me. “Yeah.”
“I do.” He remained silent for a few seconds. Then, “Want me to get you an appointment set up?”
“That’s why I’m calling.”
Brantley blew out a breath. “Thank Christ,” he said, his relief clear. “You don’t know how damn long I’ve waited for this phone call.” But I did. “What brought this about?”
I tapped my knuckles against the front of my thigh. “Hope.”
One word. One name. That’s all it took to explain it.
“I figured. Did she threaten to leave your sorry ass if you didn’t get it together?”
“Yeah,” I replied, running my hand over my jaw. “But I’m tired of hurting her too.”
“Fuck, man,” Brantley continued to curse. “I’m glad she put her foot down and kicked your ass into gear.” Shame washed through me at his words. Hope should’ve never had to threaten me with me with leaving for me to get my shit together. I should’ve done it on my own. “That girl deserves the world, dumbass.” No shit. “Now give it to her.”
“Planning on—”
Hope stepped into the kitchen, cutting off my words.
Like me, she was naked as the day she was born.
Fuck. Me.
She saddled up in front of me and wrapped her arms around my lower back. My cock—greedy bastard he is—stood at attention. I needed to get off the phone so that I could get my hands on her. “Bro, just make the appointment and text me the information.”
Hope’s face lit up at the mention of my brother. Grabbing the phone out of my hand, she placed it against her ear. “Hey, B!” Her excited shriek made my ears ring. I didn’t care though. As long as she kept smiling she could continue shrieking until my ears bled. “How is my niece doing?”
I loved hearing Hope lay claim to Isabella.
I don’t know what Brantley said, but Hope’s smile grew. “Yeah?” She asked all excited. “When?”
Her eyes found mine as she covered the mouthpiece on the phone and asked, “Are you doing anything next weekend?”
I shook my head. “Just working and spending time with you.”