by J. E. Parker
“Shh,” he said pressing a single finger to my lips. “I’m not done, baby.”
Still crying, I nodded, giving him the okay to continue.
Caressing my bottom lip with his calloused thumb he stared into my eyes and said, “I killed those men, Hope.” Before I could ask him what men he was referring to, he continued speaking, cutting me off. “The ones that fled the scene; the cowards who ran away.”
I’m not sure what it says about me as a person but at his words all I could think was, good.
“I wasn’t sure I’d ever see any of them again but two weeks later we got Intel that pointed toward a house on the other side of the city being a safe house.” Clenching his jaw, he continued to massage my lip. “When we got there, I was the first one to breech the house.” I sucked in a breath. “My team cleared the first couple of rooms with ease but when we reached the last one, we were met with gunfire. Garcia was hit.”
Seeing the look on my face, Evan quickly added, “He was fine. The bullet grazed his bicep. After we secured the room, taking out the ones who had weapons and leaving the ones who didn’t, he patched his own wound.” Dropping his gaze back to the blanket covering my legs, he continued. “There were ten men still standing, six of who I recognized.”
When he stopped speaking, I urged him to keep going. “Tell me, Evan. I can handle it, baby.”
He jerked his head down once in a jerky nod. “When I looked at those men, all I saw were Ryker and Amira’s faces. After that, my mind blanked and something dark, something monstrous, inside of me rose up.” Tapping his knuckles on the bed twice, he shook his head. “And I let it take control.”
“What did you do?” My voice was weak.
Evan’s eyes met mine. “I killed them—every single one—as my men stood back and watched.” My heart began to pound harder; my blood pressure skyrocketed. “My rifle was loud in the small room.” His voice was quiet, almost eerie, as he spoke. “So I switched to the knife I carried on my belt.”
“Six or ten?” I asked, my voice shaky. His brows furrowed in confusion and I quickly added, “Did you kill all ten or just the ones you recognized?”
Face hard, he replied, “All ten.” Why that surprised me, I didn’t know. “And I don’t feel an ounce of guilt for it. Those men, they were terrorists, baby. After searching the house we found plenty of evidence that suggested they were planning a bombing in London’s underground tunnels.”
Breaking my stare, he ran his hands through his curly hair. “Most of those people over there—they’re good people. But the man who killed Amira, and the men who I killed in return, weren’t good.” Again, his eyes met mine. “Please don’t hate me for what I did.” I sucked in a breath at his words. He sounded so much like a scared little boy at that moment that it broke my heart. “And please don’t leave me, Hope. If you do—” His eyes slid closed as he stopped speaking.
Silence stretched between us for a total of three seconds.
Then, I lost it.
“Evan,” I cried, reaching for him. “I’ll never leave you. Never.” Unable to control the sobs racking my body, I hardly recognized my own voice as I continued to speak. “You should’ve never seen any of that and you should’ve never had to deal with it.”
Standing, he placed his palms flat on the edge of my hospital bed and buried his face in my hair. I lifted my arms—even though it hurt something fierce to do so—and wrapped them around his thick neck.
“And it kills me that you’ve carried this guilt on your shoulders for so long. I wish you would’ve told me. I could’ve—”
I snapped my mouth shut when Evan’s tears began to fall onto the front of my gown. “I’m so goddamn sorry, Hope.” It was the first time I’d ever seen him truly cry. “I thought if I told you the truth you’d blame me because I should’ve known better than to chase after her.”
“I would’ve never blamed you.”
Lifting his hands, he slid them into my hair. “It was wrong, and it was reckless but I couldn’t stand by and let them hurt her.”
“Shhh,” I said, running my hands over his shoulders. “I would’ve done the same thing.” And I would’ve, beyond a shadow of a doubt. “Evan, look at me.”
When his tear-filled eyes met mine, I almost shattered. But by some miracle I didn’t. “We’re protectors, baby. It’s what we do. You, me, Mama, Ryker, and everybody that works at the Shelter plus the people that don’t…”
At my words, an image of a Grandmama popped into my head. I hadn’t seen her since the shooting because I’d been asleep every time her and Shelby came by. It was driving me crazy because I needed to see her; needed to thank her for saving us.
“And Grandmama… Oh God, Evan she killed a man to save us.”
After all these years of threatening to shoot someone, she finally did it.
Evan, held me tighter as I spiraled out of control, my emotions snowballing. “My point is any of us would’ve done the same thing you did. What those men did is not your fault, baby. Those men, the ones who killed Ryker and Amira, they are the bad ones.” I paused to take a breath. “You are nothing like them.” Cupping his jaw with my palms, I leaned my face closer to his. “Unlike them, you are nothing but good.”
“Tell me you forgive me, Hope. If you don’t I can’t—”
“There is nothing to forgive.”
Please let my words sink in.
Resting my forehead against his, I stared into his eyes. “You’re the light in a world filled with darkness, big guy. Without you, the world wouldn’t be as bright, Evan.”
Chest rising and falling in rapid succession, Evan didn’t say a word before slamming his lips down on mine. Sliding my fingers into his hair—again—I anchored myself in place as he took what he needed from me.
With his lips pressed to mine and nothing but a clean slate dangling between us, I could’ve sworn I felt my heart stitching itself back together again.
Stitch by stitch.
Piece by piece.
Pulling back, Evan broke our kiss. Nipping at my jaw, he moved his lips to the shell of my ear and took the lobe into his mouth. I gasped at the small contact. “I love you, Hope,” he whispered.
With happy tears filling my eyes, I whispered back, “And I love you.”
It was the last thing either of us said before the room door opened and Shelby—Lord help us—burst inside. One look at her frazzled appearance and I couldn’t help but smile. “I’m so happy you’re both alive,” she said, her southern accent thick. “Because now I get to kick both of your asses.”
Evan quirked a brow. “For what?”
Shelby stepped into the room, slamming the door shut behind her. “For almost giving me a heart attack,” she hissed, clutching her chest with her hand. “We all know I’m the drama queen in this family. Y’all can’t be stealing my thunder like that.”
God help me. She’s crazy!
Moving closer, she thinned her lips into a straight line. “Speaking of… you two just had to go and get shot, didn’t you? You just had to go and upstage my wedding and…”
The sound of Shelby’s voice was blocked from my head as I tossed my head back and laughed. Hard.
Beside me, Evan did the same.
And the sound of his laughter? It was one of the most beautiful things I’d ever heard. Smiling, I thought to myself, he’s alive, he’s happy, and he’s all mine.
Forever.
Fifty
Hope
Six Weeks Later
It had been a little over six weeks since Evan and I left the hospital, our bodies battered and bruised, but not broken. Since then we’d both come a long way in healing but we weren’t back to normal yet. Probably wouldn’t be for months either.
At least that’s what the doctor told us the day we were both discharged.
“Take it easy,” he’d said. “No working, no driving, and no strenuous activity for at least eight weeks.”
For the most part, I’d followed his orders.
; The big guy, however, had been leaving our apartment and sneaking downstairs to the security office. He’d sworn that he wasn’t doing anything but paperwork and even though I believed him, I still worried.
I mean, he’d been shot—in the lung no less.
Still, I forced myself to trust him because I knew deep in my heart that he’d never mislead or keep anything from me again. Not after all the progress we’d made since both of us woke up in the hospital with bullet wounds marring the left sides of our bodies.
His confessions, as much as they hurt to hear, were life-changing for us. No longer did Evan carry a world of guilt from Ryker and Amira’s deaths on his shoulders. He’d also vanquished the feelings of betrayal that had been inflicted upon his soul every time he kept a secret from me; including that he was participating in underground—and illegal—fights.
Looking back, I should’ve seen that truth earlier. The cuts, the bruises, the busted lips; it should’ve been obvious that something was up. But to me it wasn’t. Like an idiot, I just assumed that he’d gotten hurt sparring with one of the guys that worked security for the Shelter.
But none of that mattered anymore.
Because in the end, Evan had told me everything.
Iraq, fighting, the money he’d been donating to the Shelter—I knew about all of it now.
There were no more secrets between us.
Well, only one… maybe two.
I smiled to myself at the thought.
“What are you smiling at?” Evan asked from the backseat of Pop’s truck where he sat beside me, his arms crossed over his chest. “Tell me”—he smiled—“before I have to force it out of you.”
That earned him an eye roll from me. “You’ll find out later.”
Before he could spit out a rebuttal, I covered his mouth with my hand and leaned forward in my seat. “Hey, Pop, do you know if Maddie is at Grandmama’s house yet? I tried calling her but it’s going straight to voicemail.”
Pop glanced at me in the rear-view mirror from the driver’s seat. Since Evan nor I were allowed to drive yet he’d offered to pick us up for our weekly family breakfast at Grandmama’s house. “Her and Hendrix were pulling up just as I left.” His eyes narrowed. “Why? What are you two up to?”
I blinked. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I totally did. “I was just curious if she was there yet, that’s all.”
Lies. Every bit of it.
Glancing down at the small, silver gift bag that I held in my hand, I couldn’t help but smirk.
I know a secret.
“Uh-huh,” Pop replied, a look of disbelief on his face. “You can’t lie for shit, itty bitty. Might want to work on that.”
Evan pulled my hand from his mouth. “Okay, now I want to know what the hell’s going on. You’re up to something. I can feel it.”
Shrugging a lone shoulder, I remained silent.
“She definitely is,” Pop chimed in. “Her and Maddie both.” Smiling, he shook his head. “Hell, I’ll be surprised if Shelby isn’t in on it. Come to think of it, she’s probably the mastermind.”
She wasn’t.
For once, Shelby wasn’t involved.
“Are you trying to say that Shelby is a troublemaker, Pop?”
Pride gleamed in his eyes; his smile grew. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. I love my girl to pieces but she’s going to give me a heart attack one day. I’m just waiting on her to call and say she needs to be bailed out of jail.” Rolling his eyes, he continued. “It’s coming, trust me.”
Under his breath, Evan mumbled, “You’re probably right.”
I lightly smacked his thigh. “Hushie tushie.”
Pop laughed as he parked his truck on the street in front of Grandmama’s house. Shifting it into park, he turned off the engine. “Do y’all need help getting out or do you have it covered?”
Evan grimaced as he pushed open his door. “I’m good. I can get us both out.” Even though he was still sore and still experienced shortness of breath and chest pain, Evan wouldn’t let anybody else help me out of vehicles or up the stairs at the shelter. I swear the man had become even more possessive since the shooting.
Secretly, I loved it though.
Sliding out of the truck, Evan turned and reached for me. “Come on, beautiful.” He smiled. “Let’s get this breakfast over with. I’ve got a surprise for you after.”
I froze.
He has a surprise for me?
“Huh,” I replied. “That’s funny because I have a surprise for you too.”
Evan’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t say anything.
Instead, he wrapped his right arm around me and guided me to Grandmama’s porch where Keith, Mama, Maddie, Hendrix, and Melody were waiting.
Mama was the first to step forward. “Hey, sugar pea,” she said, sliding her arms around me gently. “I was going to stop by your apartment when I got in town but I figured y’all were busy getting ready to come over here. I didn’t want to intrude too much.”
Hogwash, I thought.
I looked from her to Keith. Then, I hugged Mama back and whispered, “It’s okay, Mama. I like Keith. He’s a good guy and a great dad. You don’t need to hide it from me.”
Pulling back, Mama looked at me, her bottom lip quivering. “You’re not upset?”
I quirked a brow. “Not in the least.” Smiling, I kissed her cheek. “As long as your happy that’s all I care about.”
Stunned, Mama just looked at me, tears filling her eyes.
Keith moved forward and wrapped an arm around her waist before kissing her on top of the head. A second later, his eyes met mine. “You’re a good girl, Hope.” His voice was soft, his words genuine. “Your Mama couldn’t have asked for a better daughter.”
“Aww,” Maddie interrupted. “My daddy’s in love with one of my best friend’s mother. We should write this story down. Ya know, turn it into a book. Hey! Maybe the Hallmark Channel would make a movie about it.”
At her remark, Keith turned fifty shades of red.
Thinning her lips to hide her amusement, Maddie swung her gaze to Pop. “Now we just need to find you a woman, old man.”
Pop made a choking sound. “Not a chance in hell. You saw my ex-wife.” Hendrix bristled at the mention of his mother, who was currently serving a twenty year prison sentence for trafficking heroine. “If that doesn’t prove that I attract crazy women then nothing will.”
“James!” Grandmama shouted Pop’s name from the open door. She’d seemingly appeared out of nowhere. “Who you calling crazy?”
Pop pointed in her direction. “Point proven. I say the word crazy and they appear.”
Everyone laughed.
Then, a second later, Maddie wrapped her fingers around my wrist and gave my good arm a pull. “Come on, I need to talk to you in private.” Her eyes twinkled.
I nodded. “Let’s go.”
Turning she extended her arms, reaching for Melody, who was sitting in the baby carrier that Hendrix had strapped to his chest. “I’m taking my pumpkin with me,” she said to her husband. “And don’t start griping about it either, Hendrix.”
With a grumble, Hendrix handed a smiling Melody over to Maddie.
Then, we disappeared inside the house after bypassing a smiling Grandmama. “What are you two up to?” She asked. “’Cause I smell trouble.”
I merely shrugged in response. “Don’t worry, I’m not planning on getting shot again.”
Grandmama narrowed her eyes. Obviously she wasn’t impressed with my comment.
Umm… oops?
“You remember what I said to you in the hospital?” She asked, placing her hands on her hips.
I nodded because I did remember. The day after Evan had confessed everything to me, I told Mama that I needed to see Maddie and Grandmama. She didn’t ask why but I think she knew it had something to do with the dream—if that’s what it was—that I had about Ryker.
Together, Maddie and Grandmama had shown up an hour later.
> When I’d proceeded to tell them about seeing Ry and what he’d said they’d both believed me. I’d been scared to death they’d think I was nuts but fortunately, they hadn’t.
Instead, Maddie had almost fallen to the floor when I relayed the message I was supposed to give her. When I asked what it meant she said that every night before she went to bed, she talked to her Mama, who’d died shortly after she was born.
As far as the Bub that Ry mentioned that was Sean, Maddie and Hendrix’s first-born child. He’d died shortly after birth and it had devastated Maddie. In her despair she’d prayed for her Mama to take care of Sean until she made it to Heaven and could do it herself.
Apparently, her Mama had listened.
As for Grandmama, well, she’d just laughed when I passed on her message from her late husband, Freddie. Waving her hand in the air, she’d said, “If he didn’t want to me to peek in the trunk, he shouldn’t have left it.” Then, she followed that up with, “And of course it was a good shot. The son of a bitch had hurt one of my grandbabies! Besides, I had plenty of practice shooting at Freddie and those floozies that he paraded all over town before we got married.”
It was apparent that Grandmama had always been crazy.
“In here,” Maddie said, opening the door to the downstairs bathroom.
“We’ll talk about it later, Grandmama,” I said, looking over my shoulder. “You can yell at me then.”
She rolled her eyes in response.
Typical Grandmama.
Moving into the bathroom with Maddie and Melody, I pulled the door shut behind me. “Did you bring it?” She asked, peaking at the bag I still held in my hand.
“Yeah,” I replied, pulling out the small pink shirt, the only item that was hidden inside. “Now, the question is—are you ready to do this?”
Maddie smiled from ear-to-ear. “Hell yes.”
Everyone was seated at the table in Grandmama’s kitchen.
Evan sat to my right, and Clara to my left. Next to her sat Felix and Ashley and beside them sat Pop. Across the table sat Carissa, Kyle and Heidi, followed by Hendrix, Maddie, Shelby and Anthony. Grandmama was seated at the head of the table beside Lucca—who was in his high chair—and Keith and Mama were seated at the opposite end. Liam and Declan were both seated at the kids table next, Isabella’s seat blaringly empty.