Ace…
It doesn’t take long for Greg to pick me up and place me on top of the table. I shut my eyes as he trails kisses down my chest. He stops right above my breasts and pinches my nipples with slight amount of pressure. Groaning, he works his way down, and I stare up at the ceiling, way too still for this moment.
I’m supposed to want him after a long day at work. I’m supposed to be ready to rid him of his weary stress. Willing, and only his.
But I’m not. I’m not Greg’s.
I don’t belong to him. And I honestly don’t think I belong to Ace anymore either.
I’m alone now, an empty shell of a woman, belonging to myself and no one else.
Ace told me he would fight for me, that he’d die for me. He told me a bunch of romantic bullshit, and I fell for it. A tear slides down the side of my face, and I swipe it away quickly, hoping Greg doesn’t notice.
But he does.
He always notices.
He sits up and snatches his hands away, holding them in the air innocently. I push up on my elbows as he steps back, eyes wide and confused. “London,” he breathes. “I—I’m sorry… what did I do? Did I hurt you?” He scans my body, trying to find the part of me he may have harmed.
I shake my head and reach for his hand. He relaxes a little, allowing me to pull him towards me. Placing my head on his toned stomach, I breathe him in, knowing this isn’t the person I want to be doing this with, but he’s here, and he’s never broken a promise. He’s never gone back on his word. He’s always been here for me, and I will never be able to repay that debt.
Greg runs his fingers through my hair and kisses the top of my head. I smile as one more tear drops, but I keep my chin up. Ace… I now consider him a mistake. I consider him the past. He went back, but I’m moving forward, and if I have to move forward without him, then so be it.
I’ll learn to accept Greg for the loving man he is, a man who truly loves me and a man who will do anything for me. I will learn to appreciate that because I deserve it. I deserve him, not someone who will run off to try and conquer the world when he pleases. Not someone who is willing to abandon my heart at any given moment.
Consistency is key. I need that now, not only for myself but also for my child, whom I love unconditionally. Aden deserves the very best, and I will give up anything for his sake, even his unpredictable, dangerous biological father.
No more games or lies. No more broken promises.
This is the world I live in now. It’s new and fresh and different to me, like a baby being born.
This is the world I will hold onto, and no one will destroy it.
Not even the man my soul connected with a long time ago.
Not even Ace Crow.
Over My Dead Body - Drake
During dinner, I realized I couldn’t drag London into my shit.
I will come back. I love her. She is my life. But there’s a job to be done. There’s shit to handle that I should’ve handled before making an appearance. That was my mistake. I got too excited, too impatient. I should’ve waited… or maybe I never should’ve come back.
That’s probably what she’s thinking. Why did I come back? Why did I waste her precious time? Why did I lie to her on the first day of seeing her after so many heartbreaking years? I know by letting her go like that, I broke her heart. I shattered her, but she doesn’t realize I love her and I need to do this.
I need to if I want the perfect life with her and my son. A clear and bright future. One without regrets or worrying that someone else will come after me and lock me up for three years or more.
I got lucky.
I escaped.
It happened for a reason.
I run a hand across my forehead, breathing unevenly as I roll the window up, cutting off the necessary breeze. Max rolls the tinted privacy window up, and I appreciate it because I don’t want to be seen right now.
Not only is her heart broken, but so is mine. Hurting her is tearing me up inside. She deserves my all. She deserves a fight. Why the fuck didn’t I fight? I was too lost in my own thoughts, trying to figure out who wants to take me down instead of worrying about the one person who wants nothing but to lift me up.
I did her wrong, and now I have to make it up.
Fuck going back to New York right now. That shit can wait.
I’m making this right.
I need her in my life, and whether she realizes it or not, she needs me too.
Silhouettes – Of Monsters and Men
It happened, and I’m not proud about it.
The act of unwanted lust.
Greg didn’t notice how much I wasn’t into it because of my mastered pretending skill, and I was glad that, as soon as we finished, he showered and went straight to sleep.
I showered again, but I couldn’t sleep. How could I? Only hours ago I was touched in a way that lit my soul on fire. In a way that made me completely messy and wet between my legs. In a way that I’d needed for years.
There is so much on my mind, and I hate the decision I’ve come to. It breaks my heart. Greg rolls over, and I check the alarm clock. It’s nearing six in the morning which means he’ll be waking for work soon.
When he does, I force my eyes shut and pretend I’m asleep. After getting dressed and freshening up, he places a kiss on my cheek and he’s out of the bedroom. I hear clattering and movement in the kitchen, the TV is turned on, and then I hear the garage door open several minutes later. His truck roars to life, the chains clank as he departs from the garage, and just like that, he’s gone.
I sit up, tossing the blanket away and combing my fingers through my hair. My phone buzzes as I stand from the bed, and when I see Bianca’s name appear, I’m glad she’s returned my text. I need to talk to her.
After checking the weather, I dress in a sky-blue camisole, khaki shorts, and my favorite white Toms. Aden is downstairs in front of the television finishing up a bowl of fruity cereal, the same spot Greg always places him in before he leaves.
“Hi, love nugget.” I smile, scooping him up and placing a kiss on his cheek.
“Mommy, that’s the bad guy,” he says, pointing at the TV. I glance at it, nodding. I can’t think of bad guys right now. If only he knew how involved I was with one.
“Let’s go get dressed,” I tell him, heading for the stairs.
“Where are we going?”
“We’re going to meet Auntie Bianca for some breakfast.”
His brown eyes light up, and he smiles. I match a genuine one with him before entering his room, getting him washed up and dressed, and then heading back downstairs. “Do we have everything?” I ask, scanning my perimeter.
He nods, but his eyes fill with uncertainty. I laugh, running my fingers through his curly black hair before taking his hand, grabbing my keys from the key holder, and walking out of the door.
After buckling him and myself in, I pull out of the garage, on my way to meet Bianca at our favorite coffee shop on Biltmore Lane. It’s a warm day, perfect for a day at the beach. I may just do that while Aden plays in the sand. Lord knows I need to relax. I need to let go… clear my mind.
I parallel park the Genesis in front of the shop and take Aden out, making my way to the front door. As I walk in, the scent of freshly brewed coffee and warm, sweet pastries streams into my lungs and comforts me. I spot Bianca in the corner on her cell phone. She waves a hand to get my attention, and I make my way to her, whizzing through tables with Aden’s hand clutched in mine.
“Okay. I’ll see you soon,” Bianca says before hanging up. She looks up at me, rolling her eyes.
“What happened?”
“Model broke her ankle in one of my heels last night.” She sighs. “She wants to sue.”
“Oh no,” I say, placing Aden on my lap.
“Yanca!” Aden squeals.
“Hey Adey-Wadey!” Bianca reaches across to squeeze his cheeks and tickle him, and he giggles, hunching his shoulders. “She can’t sue. She’s a dumb broad. She si
gned a contract. We aren’t accountable for any accidents or injuries. Ugh. It’s way too early for this shit.” She meets my eyes, sliding a cup of coffee my way. I pick it up right away, taking a heavy sip. “So, what’s up?” she asks. “I hopped on the earliest flight I could catch. Gotta keep an eye on that crazy cousin.”
I take a look down at Aden who’s too busy playing with his toy cars to be paying us any attention. I place him in the seat next to me and then rest my elbows on the table, raking my fingers through my natural curls.
“It’s… him,” I sigh.
“Ace?” she whispers, giving Aden a quick glance.
“Yes. He came last night and took me out.”
“Yeah, I saw him getting ready. Did you like the magenta?” Her smile is smug as she sits back. “Bianca Love did that.”
I laugh. “It was perfect,” I tell her. “The night was perfect… until I got home.” I stare down at my cup, seeing Bianca adjust in her seat through my peripheral.
“Oh no,” she says, her voice deflated and annoyed. “What happened? He fucked up already?”
“That’s bad word Auntie Yanca!” Aden frowns at her.
She grabs his hand, pressing a finger to her lips with the other. “Sorry Adey.” He smashes his lips together, returning to his toys. She meets my eyes again. “Well?”
“He’s going back, Bianca. You were right.”
She sits back, the excitement that was once in her eyes transforming to guilt. She shakes her head, looking out of the window to her right. “I knew it was too good to be true.” Her face depresses. “Why? Why would he come here just to go back?”
I shrug. “I don’t know, but I’m done Bianca.” My tone is serious, my face stern, and Bianca’s face sobers. “I expected better. I expected him to come back and actually be with me.” I realize I’m getting louder, so I tone it down a notch after stealing a peek at a busily playing Aden. “I can’t do it. Not again. I have priorities now. I betrayed Greg,” I whisper, tears building at the rims of my eyes. “I will never forgive myself for that.”
“London,” she murmurs. “No… you can’t be done. You can’t just give up on him. I know I told you to be careful, but—”
“I don’t care.”
Pearly teeth sink into her bottom lip. “London,” she says, holding a hand up. “I—I’m sorry. I swear I didn’t know he’d go back. I thought he knew better.” She pauses, fidgeting in her seat. “But this is exactly why I told you to think things through. Ace can’t be trusted. He couldn’t be trusted before. How can he be trusted now, after being torn down, locked up, and beaten?”
“He told you about that?”
“No. Maurice got the scoop for me. He tells Maurice everything, and Maurice tells me everything. I told him to ask while they went out for drinks. I was worried. I saw the scars. The bullet wounds. They’re all over his body.”
Scars? Bullet wounds? Mortified, I sit back in my seat and stare down at the table.
“How does he feel about you and you know who?” she asks, leaning forward.
I scoff, rolling my eyes. “He hates it.”
“He’s still here, you know? I talked to him this morning. Maybe you two can talk it out?”
I narrow brows, and when I see the desperation on her face, I scoff at her again. “You’re kidding, Bianca.”
She blinks but doesn’t say a word.
“Right?” I snip without even realizing it. My temper skyrockets, and I stand from my seat. I grab Aden’s hand and step back. “We should go.” I shouldn’t reach the point of overreacting with Bianca. I love her, and she’s the last person I want to lose. She’s like a sister to me, but she knows me. She knows what I deserve.
“London—I think you should just think about this… how he will react to your decision. Ace is just a little lost right now. It’s expected after what happened to him. He’s damaged. Not saying you shouldn’t be cautious, but you can’t just abandon him like he never meant anything to you.”
I whip my head up, pushing Aden back a few steps as rage ignites me. “Bianca, you are out of your fucking mind if you think I’m going to be the one crawling back. Ace has always been damaged. That’s nothing new.”
Her bright brown eyes widen, reminding me of his. My heart shatters a little, my soul shrivels, but I continue. I have to be strong. For myself. For my son. No matter how much my heart may ache, this is what has to be done. I’ve come to my decision, and that decision is to put myself before him.
“If only you’d seen the look on his face when I asked him if he was going back. If only you were there when I stormed to the house, expecting him to come running after me to comfort me but instead receiving nothing but emptiness.” I step back, lifting my hands and waving them before me, defeated. My heart thumps in my chest, more tears filling the brink of my eyes. Hers glisten. “If only you knew how much this decision hurts me and how hard I thought it through. I can’t go back, Bianca. He’ll just keep seeking power wherever he can get it. He’ll keep going back over the dumbest things and I can’t keep forgiving him. I’m doing what’s best for everyone. He’s better off alone if he thinks that’s what comes first.”
Baffled and unusually silent, Bianca lowers her head and stares at her lap. She has nothing to say which is good because I don’t want to argue. She usually seeks the last word, but not this time. She knows I’m right about him. It was her idea for me to think things through before just diving in again. I guess she didn’t think I’d drop him entirely.
I turn around, holding onto my son’s hand and making my way to the exit. “Call me when you’re back in Washington,” I tell her before walking out the door and to the car.
I strap Aden in his car seat and shut the door behind him, but before I make my way to the driver’s door, I take a deep breath, fighting the wave of emotion. I’ve never argued with Bianca before. I’ve never hurt her or tried to put her down, but today is a first, and I feel awful. It hurts, and I know she won’t call me when she’s in Washington because even though it seems she’s strong, she’s not.
She can be weak, and she can hurt at any given moment, just like me. She’ll cry. She’ll feel bad, but despite it all, she’ll understand. And that’s all I want. Her understanding. Her acceptance. She, of all people, should know where I’m coming from, especially after the way she left him in New York.
“Is Auntie Yanca okay?” Aden asks as I shut the car door behind me.
I look in the rearview mirror, nodding. “Yeah, sweetie. She’s fine.” I start the car, looking towards the coffee shop. I spot her with her elbows on the table, a hand pinching the bridge of her nose and her head moving back and forth, obviously upset. “She’ll be fine,” I murmur.
***
After spending a few glorious hours at the beach and coming home to freshen up, I drop Aden off at daycare, take out my grocery list, and make my way inside the market. I pull a buggy from the cluster as the sweet aroma of freshly baked bread and cakes bathe my senses.
For once, my mind is clear, and I can thank the beach for that. An escape. The perfect place to soak up some sun, read a romantic book, and relax. The weather was perfect, and after my mildly heated moment with Bianca earlier, I needed to let loose. Relaxing was best. Aden was onto me. I had to prove to him that I was okay—that his mommy wasn’t losing it.
I push down the aisle, grabbing item after item while radio hits flow out the speakers above. People pass by, and I genuinely smile, humming along with the songs I know. I check the items off the list and continue shopping. It seems all is good—that nothing could go wrong. Peace washes over me like a gentle wave, and I take a cleansing breath. But then… I hear his voice.
“Save some for us. I’ll spread it between your legs, and I’ll be sure to lick it all away.” His smoky voice causes the hairs on my spine to prickle and my ears grow hot as I clutch the jar of honey in my hand.
Turning slightly, I see him through my peripheral, sporting a pair of dark blue jeans that hang off his waist and a b
lack V-neck. He stands still, his head held high. I feel his gaze on me. Heavy and wanting.
I clutch the handle of my buggy, marching forward. Casual footsteps start up behind me, and I walk faster, making my way down the next aisle. It’s clear of shoppers. Great. We’re alone.
I pick up a box of cereal, but I don’t hear the footsteps anymore. I look back, but he’s not there. A frown creases at my forehead. I scan the perimeter for him. Not a trace. I laugh at myself. Am I imagining shit?
I grab a box of the fruity cereal Aden constantly devours, but as I reach for a box of my favorite oatmeal, a hand touches my waist, and I gasp, whirling around as the box of oats hit the floor.
Hazel eyes meet honey-brown irises, and I freeze as he pulls me closer, his head slightly tilted and a ghost of a smile on his inviting lips. “Missed you, Red.”
I thin my eyes at him, fighting to get out of his arms. My breathing is uneven, my heartbeat unsteady, but my walls betray me by constricting from the husky sound of his voice. “Let me go. I don’t have time for your shit, Ace.”
“You don’t? Made plenty of time last night.”
I don’t respond. Instead, I slink my way out of his thick arms and duck beneath them, returning to my buggy. A deep laugh rises, and I look up. He looks at me, tucking his fingertips in his front pockets. I push past him, purposely forcing him back a few steps as I walk by.
Of course he follows me, and I can’t stand it… or can I? I have a bad habit of lying to myself. I can convince my mind, but my heart repeatedly betrays me for this ruthless man.
He remains silent as I continue my shopping. I make my way to the seafood section, searching for Greg’s favorite salmon. After pulling a bag out and dropping it in the buggy, I cave and look back, spotting Ace leaning against one of the freezer doors, arms crossed.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I demand. “Go back to whatever hellhole you want to create.”
He looks at me beneath his baseball cap, eyes thin and dark. He then pushes off the freezer door, uncrossing his arms and walking towards me with that same swagger he had when we first met. His steps are slow and measured, and with each one, my pulse thunders in my ears.
Beware 2: The Comeback Page 8