I wish you’d…try to find yourself a woman.
Noah’s jaw tightened as Jett’s remark echoed through his mind. Even if he wanted a wife, it would be impossible for him to find one. Ever since he’d first laid eyes on Bella, he’d not been able to see any other woman but her.
Feeling something move against his leg, he looked down to see Jack sitting on his haunches, peering up at him.
“Yeah, Jack, I know I’m a fool of the worst kind. But you’re not in a position to be pointing fingers. You do enough womanizing for the both of us.”
*
The remainder of the week was a busy one for Bella. Between two heated divorce cases, an adoption case, plus a custody trial, she’d hardly had time to eat or sleep. And it didn’t help matters that Noah had continued to pop into her mind at her busiest moments, playing havoc with her ability to focus on her work.
Ever since he’d stopped on Tuesday afternoon to help her with Mary Mae, she’d not been able to push the man out of her mind. Now it was Sunday afternoon and as she sat on the back porch listening to the lonesome sound of the wind whistling through the pines, she could only wonder if he was at his cabin and what he might think if she showed up on his doorstep.
You’re thinking about him because he’s a mystery, Bella. Because he’s lived alone in that line-shack for all this time and you don’t understand why he’s such a recluse. That’s the only reason the man is dwelling in your thoughts. That’s the only reason you want to see him. Just to satisfy your curiosity.
The mocking voice in her head caused her to sigh with frustration. Maybe Noah’s solitary life did intrigue her, yet there was much more about him that played on her senses. If she’d been more like some of her daring girlfriends, she would’ve already made an effort to try to catch his attention. But she wasn’t the type to pursue a man. Besides, how did a woman go about garnering the attention of a man as cool and distant as Noah? If she knew the answer to that she might have tried years ago.
The other day when he’d helped her with Mary Mae, she’d caught quick glimpses of what was hidden behind his blue eyes and rugged face. And those few peeks had been stuck in her mind, tempting her to see him again.
Tired of fighting a mental battle with herself, Bella rose to her feet and hurried into the house. Mr. Noah Crawford might as well get ready for company, she decided, as she stepped out of her skirt and into a pair of riding jeans. Because he was about to have a visitor, whether he wanted it or not.
Less than a half hour later, Bella reined Casper, her gray gelding, to a stop beneath the shade of a tall cottonwood and slipped from the saddle. After she’d secured the get-down rope to a strong limb, she approached the cabin.
Although there were no sounds coming from the log structure, the door was standing wide open, as were the two windows facing the front yard. Not that the space could actually be called a yard, she thought. It was mostly a thick carpet of pine needles with patches of bramble bush and Indian rice growing here and there.
At the doorstep, she shoved her cowboy hat off her head. A stampede string caught at the base of her throat, allowing the headgear to dangle against her back. After running a hand through her hair, she rapped her knuckles against the doorjamb.
“I’m here.”
Jerking her head in the direction of his voice, she spotted Noah standing a few feet away at the corner of the cabin. One look at his tall, dark image was enough to push her heartbeat to a fast, erratic thump.
Unconsciously, her hand rested against the uncomfortable flutter in her chest. “Oh, hello, Noah! I didn’t see you when I knocked,” she said.
“I was at the back of the house,” he explained. “I heard you ride up.”
Heard her? Casper hadn’t neighed or even kicked over a small stone. He must have superhuman hearing, she decided.
“I was out riding and thought I’d stop by to say hello.” The explanation for showing up on his doorstep sounded lame, but it was the best she could do. She could hardly tell him she’d purposely invited herself.
His sober expression said he didn’t believe a word she’d just said. Yet she found herself smiling at him anyway. Mostly because something about him made her feel good inside.
He said, “At least you’re not riding down in the canyon.”
She smiled again. “No. But that doesn’t mean I’ve marked that riding trail off my list. It’s too beautiful to resist.”
He looked different today, Bella realized, as her gaze took in his faded jeans and gray T-shirt. The few times she’d been in Noah’s presence, he’d always been dressed for work with long-sleeved shirts, spurs strapped to his high-heeled boots, and a gray felt on his head. She’d never seen his bare arms before and the sight had her practically gawking. She’d not expected them to be so thick and muscled, or his skin to be nut-brown.
“So you’re riding the gelding today,” he remarked. “Is the mare okay? Any problem with her foot?”
“No problem. I just thought it was Casper’s turn to get out for a while.”
He didn’t say anything to that and Bella figured he was waiting for her to say she needed to mount up and finish her ride. Well, that was too bad. She wasn’t going to let him off that easily.
“Uh, am I interrupting anything?” she asked politely.
He hesitated, then said, “I was just putting some meat on the grill. On Sunday I usually make myself an early supper.”
“Mmm. I don’t suppose you’d have enough for two, would you?”
His brows shot up, but Bella was determined not to feel embarrassed by her forward behavior. It wasn’t as if she was asking him to kiss her.
“It’s only hamburgers,” he said.
“I love burgers. Especially when they’re grilled. Are you a good cook?”
“I can’t answer that. I’m the only one who ever eats my cooking.”
She chuckled. “Then you really need for me to give it a try. I’ll give you an honest review.”
His attention lifted away from her to settle on Casper. Bella was glad to see the horse already understood he’d reached his destination. His head was bowed in a sleepy doze, his hind foot cocked in a relaxed stance.
Noah said, “Bella, I think—”
Bella quickly interrupted, “If you don’t have enough food to share, that’s fine. A cup of coffee will do me.”
He grimaced. “It’s not the food. I—”
“Don’t like my company?” she asked pointedly.
Dark color swept up his neck while the frown on his face deepened. And watching his reaction, Bella could only wonder if she’d gone crazy. The man clearly didn’t want her around. Any sensible woman would proudly lift her chin and walk away. But there was something in his eyes that made her stand her ground. A bleak, desperate look that called to her heart.
He blew out a long breath. “I wasn’t expecting you, that’s all.”
She stepped off the porch and walked over to him. “I apologize for showing up unannounced. But it’s a lovely afternoon and I was getting very tired of my own company.”
*
Then why didn’t she drive down to her brother’s house, where she could find plenty of company? Noah wanted to ask. Why didn’t she get on her horse, ride off and leave him alone?
If Noah was smart, he’d do more than ask her those questions. He’d tell her outright that he didn’t want her around here messing with his mind, making him feel things he didn’t want to feel. But he couldn’t bring himself to utter any of those things to her.
Just seeing her again was making his heart thump with foolish pleasure. Hearing her sweet voice was like the trickle of a cool stream to a man lost in the desert. He couldn’t forbid himself those pleasures. Even if they might eventually hurt him.
“Well, it just so happens I have enough food to share.” He gestured toward the open door. “If you’d like to go in, I’ll see about making another patty for the grill.”
“Thanks. I would like.”
Noah followed he
r inside the cabin and moved to one side as she stopped in the middle of the room to glance curiously around her. He could only wonder what she thought about the log walls, low-beamed ceiling and planked floor, much less the simple furnishings. But then, he’d not invited her up here for a visit, he thought. She’d invited herself.
“This is cozy. And so much cooler than outside,” she commented, then glanced at the short row of cabinets built into the east wall of the room. “Those are nice. Did you help build them?”
Did she actually believe he might be that talented? The idea very nearly made him smile, but he stopped himself short. What the hell was he doing? He didn’t smile at women. He didn’t even like them. Not after the hell Camilla had put him through.
“I helped measure and hammer a few nails, but not much more than that. When it comes to carpenter work I can do a few repair jobs, but nothing major.”
She said, “I made a little doghouse once with the help of my grandfather. It turned out pretty good, but the darned dog never would get in it. Probably because Grandmother kept letting him in the house.”
The main ranch yard of the J Bar S sat just across from Jett’s house. While Bella had lived there, Noah had often spotted her going to her car as she left for work in the mornings. And sometimes late in the evening as he’d dealt with barn chores, he’d seen her return. She would always be wearing dresses and high heels and carrying a leather briefcase. With that image fixed in his mind, it was hard enough to accept she was a competent horsewoman, much less imagine her using a hammer and nails.
“Sounds like your grandmother spoiled your project,” he said.
“Not really. My cats used it.”
He inclined his head in the direction of the windows. “I don’t get much sunlight in here. I’ll turn on a lamp.”
“Don’t bother on my account. I can see fine.”
Noah wasn’t having any trouble seeing, either. Yet he was having a problem deciding if the vision standing in his cabin was real or imagined. Other than Jett and a couple of the other ranch hands, he’d never had visitors up here. And bringing a woman home was definitely off-limits. How Bella had managed to be here was a different matter. But she was here just the same and for now he’d try to deal with the situation as best he could without being rude.
“Have a seat. The couch is a little hard. You might find the chair more comfortable.”
“Thanks, but I’ll sit later. Let me help you with the hamburger meat. I can make the patty.”
She followed him over to the kitchen area and though she stood a few steps away from him, Noah felt completely smothered by her presence.
“I’ll do it,” he told her. “You’re a guest.”
Laughing softly, she leaned her hip against the cabinet counter. Noah tried not to notice how her jeans hugged the ample curve of her hips and thighs and the way her blouse draped the thrust of her breasts. And even when he looked away, the image was still so strong in his mind it practically choked him.
“I’m not a guest,” she reasoned. “I’m just a neighbor who’s intruded on your privacy. But thanks for letting me.”
Why did she have to be so nice? Why couldn’t she be one of those spoiled, abrasive women that got on everyone’s nerves? Why couldn’t she be a woman who considered herself too good to come near his cabin, much less enter it? Then he wouldn’t be having this problem. He wouldn’t be wanting to throw caution to the wind and let himself simply enjoy her company. Instead, she was warm and sweet. And just having her near filled him with a hollow ache.
“Well, I don’t normally have company. Uninvited or otherwise,” he told her. “So my manners are a little rusty. I’m afraid you’ll have to overlook them.”
He glanced her way to see she was smiling and for a moment his gaze focused on her dark pink lips and white teeth. That mouth would taste as good as her voice sounded, he imagined.
“Who’s worried about manners? You and I are family,” she said. “Well, practically. You’ve been here on the ranch longer than I have. We just never had the opportunity to talk much. When I was still living with Jett, you would stop by, but never say a word to me. I’m glad you’re being much nicer today.”
He laid a portion of ground meat onto a piece of wax paper and smashed it flat. “A guy like me doesn’t have anything interesting to say to a lady like you.”
From the corner of his eye he watched her move a step closer. “Lady? I’ve not had a man call me that in a long time, Noah. Thank you.”
Her voice had taken on a husky note and the sound slipped over him like a warm blanket in the middle of a cold night.
“That’s hard to believe, Bella.”
She shrugged. “Not really. Men aren’t very chivalrous nowadays. At least, not the ones I cross paths with. Maybe that’s because of my profession. In the courtroom they see me as an adversary. Not a lady.”
“Jett says you worked hard to get your degree. He also says you’re good at your job.”
“Jett is obviously biased. But I can credit him for getting me in the law profession. When I was growing up, I never dreamed of being a lawyer. But after Marcus and I divorced the course of my life changed. Jett got me interested in being a paralegal and from there I guess you could say I caught the bug to be in the courtroom.”
Her gaze fell awkwardly to the floor and it suddenly dawned on Noah that every aspect of this woman’s life hadn’t been filled with success. She’d endured her own troubles with the opposite sex. And though he’d heard Jett label his ex-brother-in-law as a liar and a cheat, Noah had never questioned the man about Bella’s divorce or how it had affected her. It was none of his business. But that didn’t stop him from wondering how much she’d really loved the guy.
Or whether she was finally over him.
Chapter Three
Clearing his throat, Noah said, “Excuse me, Bella, but I’d better take this out to the grill. It’s probably hot enough to put the burgers on now.”
“Sounds good,” she told him. “I’ll join you.”
She followed him out of the cabin and around to the back. Although there were only a few clumps of grass growing here and there over the sloping ground, he kept it neatly mown. For a makeshift patio, he’d put together four flat rocks. On one corner of the space, he’d erected a small charcoal grill atop a folding table.
A few steps away sat a lawn chair made of bent willow limbs and cushioned with a folded horse blanket. Near it lay a huge pine trunk that had fallen long before Noah had ever moved into the cabin. The smooth, weathered log made a playground for squirrels and chipmunks and a seat where he often drank his morning coffee.
While he positioned the patties on the hot grill, Bella ambled a few feet away where the forest opened up to a view of bald desert mountains in the distance.
“Are those mountains on Jett’s land?” she asked.
It surprised Noah to hear her call it Jett’s land. He’d always suspected that she was a partial owner in the ranch, but apparently he’d supposed wrong.
“No. They look close, but they’re at least ten miles away. Why do you ask?”
“Just curious. This is going to sound silly, but there are places on this ranch that I’ve never seen. Especially since Jett and Sassy bought the adjoining land a few years ago.”
“You obviously knew your way to the cabin,” he said.
“That’s right. My grandparents built the cabin,” she told him. “And when I was a little girl, my grandmother and I would come up here in the summer and pick wild berries.”
“I met your grandparents back before Christmas, when they came up to see little Mason after he was born. Nice folks.”
“Yes. I keep promising to drive down for a little visit with them, but it seems like I can never get that many free days in a row to make the trip to California.” She turned and strode back to the shaded area where he was standing. “One of these days I’m going to clear my work schedule and go anyway. My grandparents aren’t getting any younger and I want to enjo
y them while they’re still around.”
“Melvin talked to me about the little ranch he owns now. I’m glad he’s still healthy enough to have horses and cattle.”
Ignoring the chair, she sank onto the pine truck and crossed her ankles out in front of her. Noah closed the lid on the cooker and took a seat in the lawn chair a few feet away from her.
“Do you have grandparents, Noah?”
He said, “The only grandparents I ever really knew have passed on. Mom’s parents were never around, so I have no idea if either of them are still alive or where they might live.” The look of surprise in her eyes prompted him to add, “I don’t know where she or my dad are, either. They divorced when I was thirteen. After that, Mom left and never came back. Dad stuck around for a few months, then left me to be raised by his parents.”
Just as he’d expected, she looked stunned. And that was exactly why he’d revealed that part of his upbringing to her. He wanted to make sure she understood the sort of background he’d come from. That he’d been a child his own parents hadn’t wanted and his grandfather had merely tolerated.
“Oh. I didn’t know. Jett never mentioned the circumstances of your parents to me.”
“That’s because I’ve never talked to Jett about them. Your brother and I mostly talk about the present and the future.”
“Yes. Well, Jett has some pretty awful memories of his own that he’d rather leave in the past. Most of us do.”
She smiled at him and Noah was surprised to see she was still looking at him as though she liked him, as though he was someone she wanted to spend time with. He could only think she was either a very bad judge of character, or a very special woman.
The scent of the cooking beef began to fill the air and Noah got up to check on the progress of the burgers.
While he flipped the meat, she asked, “Do you like living here in the cabin? Away from everyone?”
“I’m a simple guy, Bella. I have everything I need or want right here.” At least that was what he’d been telling himself since he’d arrived in Nevada. But there were plenty of days Noah still felt the nagging need for a place of his own, and even more nights when he imagined himself with a wife and children to nurture and love. Yet once he’d left Arizona, he’d vowed to live a solitary life and so far, he’d had no trouble sticking to that sensible choice. Whenever he got to feeling like Jack, and the urge to go on the prowl for a woman hit him, all he had to do was think about Camilla. Remembering all the lies she’d told doused his urges even better than a cold shower.
Her Rugged Rancher Page 4