Chapter 39
I’ve been home for a week now. Oliver, Ada, and Ophelia have loved staying here so far. And I’m happy to have them here with us.
Today, it is a sunny afternoon, and Oliver went out with my pa who was going to show him a broken piece of something he thought Oliver might be able to fix. Ada and Ophelia went to collect eggs with Freida, something they’ve never gotten to do before.
Hazel’s sitting on one of the rocking chairs, rocking back and forth, staring at the empty fire, not blinking.
I sit down beside her. “Do you want to talk about it?”
She raises her eyebrows. “About what?”
“You know what I’m talking about, Hazel.”
“I’m okay now, Lydia.”
I set my hand on her leg. “No, you’re not. I can tell.”
“Well you coming home has helped.”
“Please, Hazel. You can talk to me and you know that, right?”
Her eyes begin to tear up, and she looks to me. “Of course, I know that.”
“Why didn’t you tell me in your letter that this had happened?”
“Because you were having such a great time there, and I didn’t want you to rush home just because of me. Because of what I did.” A few tears escape her dim eyes and run down her face.
“Hazel. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything.”
“You’re right. I didn’t do enough to save her.”
I let out a breath. “I talked to Robert about it. He said the wound on the back of her head would have been what…what caused her to die. And in taking the water right when she received the cut was making it worse. You couldn’t have saved her, Hazel.”
“I know you don’t understand, Lydia, and that’s okay. But I saw it all happen, and I know she was still alive when I got to her. And…” She trails off and begins to sob.
I stand and pull her into a hug, stroking the back of her hair.
She takes in a shaky breath. “She died after I got her to the shore. When I woke up after I fainted, she was…you know. I had to stay there with her, though, because my leg couldn’t hold me. I was so scared and hurt, then I had to be outside in the night. I didn’t know if anyone would find me. When I heard Robert and August calling my name, I began to scream and cry for them. I never want to go through something like that again.”
“I know, Hazel. I understand.”
“But you don’t. Not really. August does, though, since his ma and sister died, and he saw it all happen. I talked about it with him a bit.”
I nod. “That’s good.”
I hold her close still, until she’s ready to stand alone again.
And I now realize how deeply impacted Hazel was by this accident. I thought that maybe she’d recovered from it, but I can see she’s going to have some trouble ever being at peace from this. Because while she’s physically fine, on the inside she’s breaking.
Chapter 40
We had the wedding a few days ago and it was lovely. It was held outside our house and all of my family and some family friends came. After being home for two weeks, we felt ready to have a small, but close wedding with everyone we love around us.
I’m sitting on the grass leaning against a tree beside Oliver, resting my head on his shoulder. “I’m glad you got to meet my family.”
“They’re such kind people, Lydia. I know why you missed them so much now.”
I take in a breath. “I’m worried about Hazel, though.”
“I know. It’s awful she had to go through that.”
“I just wish she’d told me in the letter.”
He takes my hand. “But didn’t she say she didn’t want to make you worry?”
“Yes. That’s so like her, you know? Even though, she was likely so upset and needed me at that time.”
“You writing to her all the time likely helped, though. You were there for her, Lydia. Just in a different way than you would’ve been if you were home. Maybe she just wanted someone to not know, and not give her a whole bunch of sad looks, and people telling her to be strong. Maybe she just needed a bit of normal.”
I sigh. “I know, Oliver. You’re right.”
The rest of the afternoon I sit with Oliver by the tree. We talk about a lot of things, and I tell him about some of my favorite memories I’ve had here.
It turns out to be a wonderful day, and I’m glad I’m able to show Oliver the place I grew up.
* * *
Darlene and her family came over for supper tonight. We’re sitting around the table now having a delicious supper of roast chicken, crispy roast potatoes, and carrots.
I watch as Levi begins to hit his potatoes with his hands. Chunks of potato fly up and one hits Robert in the side of the face. I smile as Robert tries not to laugh, and wipes the potato off his face.
Darlene laughs and grabs Levi’s hands. “No, Levi. Don’t do that.”
“Why?” he asks, looking up at her.
“Because you’re making a mess.”
He smiles. “Why?”
Darlene looks to his potatoes on the plate. “Because you’re hitting them, and it’s going everywhere.”
“Why?”
Darlene takes a deep breath and touches his nose. “Never mind why. Just eat your supper, please.”
I begin to laugh as Levi starts to hit his potatoes again, and soon we’re all laughing at the small boy.
Eventually we manage to get Levi to eat and once we’re all done eating, I help clear the dishes from the table. The men move to sit by the fire my pa just started in the fireplace.
I take my place by the basin and begin washing the dishes. I’m a little slower than I was when I left. I smile at Darlene who is drying the dishes beside me. “I had a few months of doing no dishes, and it was so odd.”
She chuckles, taking a plate from me. “I wish I could have a few months off. What was it like living with the Harris’s?”
“It was definitely different than what we’re used to, but I grew accustomed to it overtime. I wouldn’t want to live that way forever, though.”
I notice Ophelia is wiping all the potatoes off the table and the floor that Levi had splashed everywhere. She has a smile on her face. At least she finds it amusing.
Clearing up moves faster than normal because having Ada and Ophelia to help us out makes it go by much quicker than it was before I left for Northwood.
I move to sit on the cobbled mantle by the fireplace where Oliver is sitting. He smiles at me and continues telling Bradley about his blacksmith job.
As the evening goes by visiting with my family, I try to enjoy every moment I can of being with them. I know that in a couple of weeks, I’m going to go back to Northwood and will not see them for a while. But I also know they’ll have each other here and will be okay. And I’ll be with Oliver, Ophelia, and Ada and will start my life with them.
* * *
It’s much later now. We’re all in bed to be exact.
Hazel’s sleeping beside me and every now and then, she lets out a small cry. She’s been doing this the whole time I’ve been home, and I don’t remember her doing it before, but I decide not to ask her about it.
Ada and Ophelia are sleeping in the bed beside ours.
Oliver has been sleeping downstairs by the fireplace because there isn’t any bed space for him. He says he quite likes sleeping by the warmth of the fire anyway.
I shiver at the thought of how warm he is. It’s quite cold in the loft and these blankets aren’t really helping me. I guess I’m used to the thick blankets at the Harris’s.
Rolling over, I close my eyes. For some reason I just can’t sleep. Deciding to go downstairs and sit by the fire to warm up, I slide my legs over the side of the bed until they touch the floor.
Quietly, I make my way to the ladder and climb down. Oliver’s lying by the fire, the blanket pulled over his shoulders.
So I don’t wake him, I slowly sit down on the rocker and instantly feel the warmth from the fire spreading
through me.
I’m not sure how long I sit here. I look to Oliver every now and then, who is sleeping soundly, but I mostly think about Hazel and the burden I know she now carries.
“Lydia?” Oliver whispers, sitting up.
“I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”
He yawns. “No. What’re you doing?”
“I couldn’t sleep, and it was cold up in the loft, so I thought I’d come sit by the fire until I got tired.”
“Oh. It’s nice and warm here, isn’t it?”
I smile. “Yes, it is. I think we need a fireplace in the loft too.”
I move to sit down next to him on the floor. “Did I ever tell you about the time Darlene got attacked by a bear?”
“No.”
I pull the blanket that he’d thrown off him when he’d woken up over my cold legs and begin to tell him the story. He tells me about one time before his father had his accident—the one that resulted in him having to give up being blacksmith. After that happened, Oliver had gone with his father to work, and been shown how to do some things. That’s how Oliver had become a blacksmith.
After a few more stories from both of us, I lie down and close my eyes. I tell myself to just lie here for a few minutes, but the sound of the fire crackling and my husband beside me, sends me into a deep sleep.
Chapter 41
I wake up to the sound of a high-pitched scream. I blink my eyes a few times and jump up. Oliver does the same. It’s coming from the loft, and I run to the ladder, quickly climbing up.
Ophelia and Ada are trying to help Hazel who is still shrieking in her bed.
“Hazel. What’s going on?” I ask, running over to the bed.
I grab her hand and her eyes find mine. She stops screaming, but she still has tears running down her face.
“Hazel. What’s wrong?” I push her hair out of her face.
“I…” she starts.
I look up at Oliver who is standing at the end of the bed. Then Pa also comes up the ladder.
Hazel begins to sob again, and I try to stroke her arm to comfort her.
“I’m sorry. I…I had a dream. I’m fine,” Hazel stutters.
Pa and Oliver make their way back down the ladder and Ada goes back to her bed.
Ophelia looks at Hazel, and then me.
I nod, and she goes back to her bed.
“Hazel. Are you okay?”
“I dreamed about Lillie again.”
“Again? Hazel. You’ve never woken up screaming like that since I’ve been back.”
She shakes her head. “I know. I don’t know why that happened. I promise it won’t happen again.”
“You can’t help it, Hazel. I’m really worried about you.”
She gives me a small smile. “I’m going to be okay, Lydia. I’m strong.”
“I know you are, but please talk to me whenever you need to. Or just talk to anyone. Don’t keep it to yourself.”
“Okay. Sorry I woke you.”
“It’s okay, Hazel.”
I move to lie down beside her, pulling the blanket over my shoulders. It was much warmer by the fire with Oliver, but I know my sister needs me right now.
I hear Bradley talking to Pa and Oliver downstairs. Hazel’s screaming had woken all of us, and I doubt any of us will be able to get much sleep tonight after that.
I listen until I finally hear her breathing softly again, and I know she’s asleep.
Soon, I find myself doing the same.
* * *
The sun shines through the window, and I sit up in my bed. I actually feel well rested this morning, and I think I’m going to go down and start breakfast for everyone.
I quickly change into my white blouse and long pink skirt. I brush my hair out and climb down the ladder.
Oliver is still sleeping by the fire that is now beginning to go out.
I take my apron off the hook and tie it around my waist. Taking the eggs from the basket on the counter, I crack them into a pan.
After I get the stove ready to cook, I put the pan on the top of it.
I know Hazel loves bacon and definitely needs some good food after the night she’s had.
The bacon sizzles when it’s put on the pan, and the delicious smell I love starts to fill the kitchen.
I realize I’ve barely cooked anything by myself since I left for Northwood. It seems so different, but yet so familiar at the same time.
I hear Oliver yawn. I look and he’s sitting up, turning to face me.
“Good morning,” I say, flipping a piece of bacon over.
He stands up, running his hands up through his thick, brown hair. “Good morning.”
I hum a happy song, while watching the bacon sizzle and splutter.
Oliver comes to stand beside me. “That bacon smells so nice.”
“It’s Hazel’s favorite.”
He furrows his eyebrows. “Is she okay?”
I shake my head, letting out a breath. “I don’t know. I wish I knew how to help her, but I think this might be something she has to deal with by herself.”
He’s quiet for a few seconds before he smiles. “You snore you know?”
I open my mouth and then hit his arm with the wooden spoon. “I do not.”
“Well it certainly wasn’t me snoring last night.”
“It was probably my pa.” I playfully glare at him.
He grins. “I don’t think so.”
I shake my head, smiling. “No bacon for you then.”
“You don’t want to see what happens if I don’t get bacon.”
“Sorry. Hazel can have it since she’s slept beside me for years and has never once commented on my sleeping habits.” I smile, and he leans down to kiss me.
Pulling away, he smiles. “I love you.”
And I realize I get to be with him for the rest of my life now. Even if he does like to tease me.
Chapter 42
These two weeks have gone by so fast. I’ve gone to Riverbend a lot to visit Adeline and also to church. Ophelia couldn’t believe how small the town was compared to Northwood. I’ve gone on many walks around the farm with Oliver, Ophelia, and Ada to show them some of my favorite places. And last night, everyone came to our house for supper to say goodbye to us before we leave for Northwood.
We’re leaving for the train station today to get there on time tomorrow. The thought of leaving home again scares me, but also excites me. I know once I get settled in Northwood, I’ll be okay. And at least when I get off the train this time, I will know where I’m supposed to go.
I said my goodbyes to Adeline, Genevieve, and Darlene. They decided they would just stay home, and I don’t blame them.
Just Pa, Hazel, Oliver, Ophelia, Ada, and I will be going.
This time, I pack all my things because I know I’m not coming back to live here.
Oliver has said we can come out next summer for a month, but he’s also told me if I need to see everyone earlier than that, we can go whenever I need to.
I’m happy he understands, and I know that over time it will get easier for me.
Hazel is helping me pack. She sniffs every now and then. Finally, I stop her from folding my clothes and guide her to sit down on the bed.
“You’re making me moving to Northwood harder than it already is.”
Hazel tries to smile but I can tell it’s forced. “I’m sorry, Lydia. It’s just going to be so different.”
“I know, but I’ve told Pa that I’ll pay for you to come out to visit sometime.”
She doesn’t say anything, but only looks down at her hands.
“Hazel. I know this is scary because it is for me too. And I know you may not think this right now, but you’re going to meet someone and you’re going to fall in love and start your life. We will still miss each other, but you’ll be okay. And you will know what you’re meant to do with your time then.”
“What if I don’t find anyone?”
“You will. Trust me. And maybe me being away will help you grow
as a person. It’s amazing how much stronger you can become when you do something different.”
“You will write to me?” she asks, her eyes filling with tears.
I take her hand. “Of course, I will. As soon as I get to Northwood again, I will write to you and give you the place to send the letter back to.”
“Okay. Let’s keep packing then.” She moves to pull some things out of the drawer by her bed. It’s the small, silver bracelet she wears almost every day. “I want you to take this with you and wear it when you miss me.”
I smile, taking it from her. “I guess I will be wearing this bracelet every day then.”
She lets out a small laugh before moving to continue folding my dresses.
I know she has a lot of things to get through now. She also has a great deal of things to fight inside her, burdens she won’t let anyone help her with. I hope she can get through it and see how much joy there truly can be in life. But that takes time. I wish I could make it go faster for her, but I can’t.
If only she can find herself in the pain, and I truly hope she can do that.
Chapter 43
I’m now sitting in the train station beside Hazel, with Pa on my other side.
“I’m really proud of you, Lydia.” Pa smiles down at me, his blue eyes sparkling.
“Thank you, Pa. I’m going to miss you, though.”
He shrugs. “Don’t worry about me, just live your life in Northwood, Lydia. I know how wonderful that city is.”
I furrow my eyebrows, realizing something. “How come you moved us here, Pa? If you truly loved Northwood so much?”
“I felt like I was needed somewhere else. Northwood didn’t allow me to do the type of farming I wanted to do. I think you should look into selling your weaving there. I’m sure it would do very well.”
“Thank you. That’s a good idea.”
Oliver returns from putting our bags in the car. Ada grabs his arm. “I don’t want to be on that train again. It took so long last time.”
The Letter (Carter Sisters Series Book 4) Page 16