by Dan Glover
"I'm glad the bastard is dead."
"What did you say, Hector?"
"I said I am sad that the man is dead."
"You never liked him."
"What's that got to do with anything, Karen?"
"A man is dead and it's our fault, Hector. Doesn’t that bother you at all?"
"What do you want, Karen? I just said that I'm sad about it."
"That isn’t what you said. Why do you always have to take advantage of people? You use them like they're nothing and then toss them aside when you're done with them."
"Christ, here we go again. Look, Karen... I'm the head physician in charge of a large agency. I can't afford to play nicey nice with everyone under my command. I'll lose respect."
"Does that include not putting my name on the papers we co-write?"
"We've talked about this. You know as well as I do that the professionals we depend on for their support look askant at women researchers in our field. I'm sorry that makes you angry but that's just how it is. There is nothing I can do about it."
"There is nothing you will do about it."
"That's not fair, Karen. I don’t make the rules."
"Right... you just follow them like a one of the good old boys."
Hector gave up. He knew better to argue with Karen when she got into one of her moods. He wondered if it was her time of the month. She always became cranky beforehand. She began sobbing again.
"I still can't believe Lance is dead."
Chapter 10—Fallen Angels
Marilyn had doubts.
"Are we creating a monster, Karen?"
"Come on, Marilyn... why on earth would you say that?"
"I feel as if we're playing god. By implanting mitochondria from Lauren into the nucleus of the egg of Natalia we're essentially creating a new species. What if something goes wrong?"
"Oh... like what could possibly go wrong, Marilyn? Maybe the entire population of earth will die off from some mysterious illness that no one can identify until this day? Is that what you're worried about?"
"Please don't be sarcastic, Karen... not to me. I'm just asking if you're absolutely sure we're doing the right thing by implanting a genetically engineered egg into Natalia. We don’t even know if the genetic material from the sperm we harvested is viable."
"I'm doing what I promised we would do when the Ladies took us in that day. They didn’t have to let us stay with them, you know. I'm surprised that they allowed us here. Now, are you going to help me, or not?"
"You know I will, Karen. I just have these concerns. I'll always do whatever I can to assist you but I can't help but think we're setting a bad precedent by doing what Lady Lily wants."
Marilyn appreciated that she didn’t have the astuteness of the Ladies or even Natalia but she felt discouraged when Karen refused to address her question. They'd been friends and lovers for too long for Karen to treat her like a meddling kid.
She was a doctor in her own right... perhaps she hadn’t set the world on fire the way Karen had... while her friend and lover had graduated at the top of her class Marilyn was lucky to have made it through medical school at all.
She was one of only two girls in her entire class. The professors seemed to take pleasure in deriding their answers in front of the boys and when the cat calls sounded they ignored them. It was bullying, pure and simple, but no one listened to her complaints.
Finally, the other girl stopped appearing in the classes they shared. Marilyn heard through other students that she had suffered a breakdown and withdrew from medical school all together. The boys had said it with a smarminess that Marilyn never forgot. Later there came the news of her suicide.
Perhaps the girl had been on the edge all along. Still, Marilyn had spoken to her numerous times and could discern no sign of mental illness. Rather, she imagined the when poor girl realized her dream of being a doctor had died she simply gave up on life too.
As a girl Marilyn had read Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus. The story galvanized her psyche. Nightmares plagued her for a month afterward. Subsequently she made a conscious decision to become a doctor in order to heal the disease that was the world, the nature of which was brought to the forefront by her recent dreams of creating an abomination of her own.
Now, she was faced with a choice she had always hoped to avoid having to make... she could be a good girl, follow orders, and perform the duties given to her, or she could walk away from it all.
It was as if her whole life had led up to this moment. All her medical training came to naught when she went to work for Karen and the CDC. She was no more than a handmaiden to her superiors, a person who did what they deemed themselves too important to do.
On the day she fled the CDC to be with Karen in Scotland she left headquarters unattended by anyone who understood the gravity of the fast-developing situation. She rationalized that there was nothing she could have done on her own... she tried yet no one accorded her the respect she needed to stop the spread of the Lake infection.
She assumed the disease would be localized. It was only days later when she learned the truth that the guilt surfaced for leaving her task behind to be with Karen. She thought of herself as the captain of a ship abandoning it when it struck a reef and began to sink while passengers were still aboard and in danger of drowning.
She had to do what Karen wanted... there was no choice... not really. Perhaps there had never been... maybe she had always been little more than a loser, someone to be used to fulfill the desires of others while she languished in the nightmares of doubt and remorse.
Sighing and fixing her mind on the task in front of her now, Marilyn told herself that none of this was her doing. She was a pawn in the scheme of greater doings. When her hands trembled ever so slightly she took a deep breath, set all thought aside, and followed the directions of her friend and lover.
Marilyn had done a lot of research in anticipation of assisting Karen in this endeavor. Though scientists in England worked on the three-parent technique for over a decade before the Great Dying they failed to produce a viable embryo. In many countries the technique was outlawed. Though she didn’t voice those concerns to Karen she wondered privately why her boss believed they could succeed in a small make-shift laboratory where scores of others in well-funded and top-notch facilities did not.
"I know it's probably too early for me to tell, but I feel as if I'm pregnant."
A week after the genetically engineered fertilized egg was implanted in her womb Natalia surprised Marilyn by visiting the laboratory while Karen was otherwise engaged in one of her sojourns to unknown regions of the castle. Marilyn suspected she was fast becoming a confidant of the Ladies.
"What makes you say that, Natalia?"
"It's the oddest feeling, Marilyn. I sense he's trying to tell me that he is alive and well. I'm sure I must be imagining it. Is it too early to tell if I really am pregnant?"
"Actually, no... some women experience certain symptoms like vivid dreams and tender breasts after only a week."
"Is there a test you can do to confirm my pregnancy? Or is it too early yet?"
"We'll have to wait another ten days or so to be sure, Natalia. We could get a false positive at this stage. You say 'he' is trying to tell you something. Do you think it is a boy?"
"I know he is a boy. I've never been so certain of anything in my life. I already have his name picked out. He will be called Nathaniel—Nate for short."
"I love that! What a perfect name!"
"The Ladies Lily and Lauren speak without words. My baby is speaking to me too. You must think I'm insane."
"Not at all... I think there is magic in the world that I never imagined exists until I met you and the Ladies of the Lake. I am honored that you trust me enough to confide in me."
"Has Lady Lily explained her plans to you, Marilyn?"
"No... I am not one of her close friends. We rarely speak at all."
"I'm his mother so I feel I have a right to s
peak. I feel you are distressed by the work that you're doing with Karen. Perhaps you think by manipulating the birthing process you are creating a thing unholy.
"I want you to consider that according to Lady Lily this baby I carry is destined to save us all. If everything goes well he will be born with traits of both our species. This is something never before done in the entire history of medicine. You are to be thanked for your contribution, Marilyn."
"I merely did what Karen told me to do, but you're right. I do have trepidations about our work. I wonder if we're doing the right thing. Karen assures me that we are, just as you do. Still, maybe God has a plan and we are interfering with it."
"Ah, I see... you believe in a god who works behind the scenes... a god who sees all and knows all... a god with omnipotent powers and foresight. If this is so, why would such a god allow billions of people to perish overnight? Doesn’t it strike you as odd that the only way you are saved is by being in the presence of those who acknowledge no such god?"
"I learned long ago that I am not as intelligent as many other people, Natalia. I accepted that. I graduated near the bottom of my class at the university and yet I still became a doctor. I suppose I put my trust in a higher being because I hadn’t confidence in my own power to navigate through this world. It seemed filled with dead ends and danger.
"I grew up going to church with my parents. I was their only child so perhaps they coddled me more than they might have otherwise. They told me that I was a beautiful child but I had a mirror. I could see I was not an attractive girl like you and the Ladies. I've always been plain. I never had a boyfriend while I was growing up. Once I became an adult I only slept with one man. He was my husband. His death was but another in a long line of regrets that I carry with me to this very day.
"The thought of the God of my childhood soothed my fears... I had but to confess my sins—they were many—and I was absolved of them. Of course, since the Great Dying there are no living priests to hear of my sordid past. This doesn’t mean that I waver in my belief, however.
"I find it curious that despite my Catholic teachings I am not a good woman. I am easily led astray. When Karen asked me to assist her, I had deep reservations. Yet I did as she asked. This was not the first time I did things against my better judgment. I hope my concerns are unfounded."
"We all have moments we would change if we could, Marilyn. I thank you for your helping me to conceive this child. It means so much to me and to the Ladies. I assure you this is a good thing that you do."
After Natalia took her leave Marilyn sat at her desk contemplating their conversation. Even though she was touched by Natalia's reassurances, she couldn't shake the conviction of having done Satan's work. Her long-dead mother's words still rang in her ears warning her of burning in a lake of eternal fire should she not follow in the footsteps of the Lord.
If only a Catholic church was nearby she could pay a visit but the closest one was many kilometers from the castle. She wondered if the blessings those old buildings were endowed with so many years ago still held any power in this world nearly barren of human life and so obviously bereft of religion of any sort.
A bible lay open and face down upon her desk. Picking it up to read a chapter the words failed to lend her the same comfort that they once did. They rang hollow, as if written by someone who believed in the magic of fairy tales.
"Damn it all."
Tears flowed as she hurled the black book across the room its thin pages fluttering like a dying bird before it struck the wall and fell dead on the floor. She decided she must remain vigilant. If this child this abomination that she had helped create began to deviate from the path laid out for it at the beginning she knew what she must do.
Chapter 11—Games
Boarding the train to Moscow was as harrowing as leaving England.
The bespectacled old man behind the ticket counter looked up at her without saying a word. Lily informed him in English that she wanted a seat on the train to Moscow handing him the last of the money from Lance's wallet. He pointed a crooked finger to a long silver train heading east.
"Mais dépêchez-vous, ma chère. Le train va partir dans quelques minutes."
With but a small understanding of train and minutes, Lily dashed down the tracks boarding the passenger car nearest to her just as the conductor began to fold up the stairs. The rumble of diesel engines dominated the air as the train lurched forward. Lily's large flat feet allowed her to keep her balance as she walked down the aisle to an empty window seat. Settling back Lily closed her eyes to catch a few winks. It had been a lively morning.
She remembered breakfast, her first in Paris. The waiter didn’t speak English or Russian and she spoke very little French. She ordered hot coffee and toast. She giggled as she saw the look on his face when she flashed him a look at her chest and he crumbled up the bill. No longer awake but not entirely asleep she found herself in the waiter's arms.
"Are you going all the way?"
Lily awoke from her erotic half-dream to a woman's voice silky smooth like warm dark chocolate drizzling over chilled strawberries on a lazy and damp afternoon. The accent was unmistakably Russian. Lily rubbed her eyes before looking up to see who it was that possessed such a luscious voice as the visage of an angel took her breath away.
"All the way?"
Lily was so flummoxed by this stranger she merely mimicked the words buying a bit more time to shake away the cobwebs of sleep.
"To Moscow, my darling, are you going all the way to Moscow?"
"Oh, I rather hoped you might have meant something else. Yes, I am going all the way to Moscow. Actually I'm on my way to Lake Baikal. How about you, my sweetie?"
"Oh that is good. I'm going for a long train ride too. We can perhaps get to know one another a little better. It would be a dull trip without the right traveling companion."
"Are you traveling alone?"
"I am. And you?"
"Likewise, I'm sure, at least until now."
"My name is Natalia Cosenyenko."
Natalia wore her copper red hair long yet it seemed thinner than it should and was partly covered by a black and white silk scarf with tiny symbols upon it that Lily couldn't make out. Her face was pale, almost white, and sprinkled with freckles. Her enormous eyes were as blue as Lake Baikal on a sunny day with starbursts of gold hiding deep within. She had a strong Gypsy nose not too prominent, ideal for her face. Her lips were full and luscious as if she was slightly pursing them expecting a kiss. Her chin matched her jaw line perfectly. Though she was short of stature her neck was long and refined like a royal swan. Lily thought how Natalia carried herself like a princess.
"My name is Lily. I am so happy to meet you, darling Natalia. Are you from Moscow?"
"Moscow was where I once worked, yes. Originally I am from Ukraine. And you are from Lake Baikal, my Miss Lily?"
"A long time ago, yes, that's where I grew up, my darling Natalia."
"Oh but this could not have been too long ago. You are so young, sweetest Lily, and exceptionally pretty as well. You are, what, maybe twenty years old?"
"That's so sweet, my lovely Natalia, thank you. Why yes! I am exactly twenty! How did you guess?"
"It is a gift I have."
Natalia put her eyes down as she shrugged her shoulders causing her collar bone to bounce in rhythm with the sound of the rails.
"I am an old woman of thirty. May I touch them, my darling Lily?"
"Pardon?"
"May I touch your hands, gorgeous Lily? I have never seen such splendid fingers before in all my life."
"Oh, well, maybe later, my darling Natalia."
Lily had forgotten she had taken off her gloves for her nap, a habit she acquired while spending one summer on a beach in southern Italy ages ago. The gloves irritated the webbing of her fingers and thumbs, especially when she slept. On the beach most people stared at her chest rather than her hands. She pulled her gloves on one by one while keeping her eyes down.
"I have embarrassed you, my sweet Lily. I am so sorry. Please allow me make this slight up to you. I have a premium luxury sleeping cabin. Perhaps you will consent to share it with me? We may both get more comfortable. No one will stare, I promise."
"Thank you, sweet Natalia! I would love to share your cabin. I haven’t the money for more than this seat. Actually, I haven’t any money at all. I spent the last I had for my ticket. I was thinking how hard it would be sleeping sitting up for the whole trip."
"A gorgeous girl such as you cannot sleep sitting up all alone... not when I have extra space in my room. I will take you there now, my sweet Lily. Come."
Natalia touched Lily's arm with loving fingers leaving them there for a long moment, perhaps testing her intentions.
"But first, let us go to the dining car. You must be famished. I can hear your stomach rumbling from here."
"Thank you again, my lovely Natalia. I am rather hungry. I didn’t have breakfast today, well, other than a little toast and a French waiter for dessert."
"You are so funny, my love. Come with me and teach me this tale of your Frenchman."
Lily followed Natalia down the aisle fighting off the sudden urge to hug her from behind with both arms while nuzzling her neck. The Russian woman exuded sexuality. At the same time, however, Lily sensed the woman was not completely well either.
Lunch consisted of a spinach soufflé, crème brûlée, and copious amounts of vodka. Natalia fed Lily dainty morsels of dessert with her fingertips while staring straight into her eyes. She told Lily of her life in Russia and how much she missed her homeland in the Ukraine. It had been years since Lily heard a Russian accent. By the time lunch was drawing to a close, she had fallen quite in love.
"Now, let us explore our sleeping arrangements, my special Lily."
Lily followed her benefactor through the dining car passing through the sight-seeing cars and finally ending up in the private sleeping quarters at the end of the train.