“On the other end of the galaxy, most like. What do I care about a wee beasty when there are luscious women to be had.” He stroked down Gia’s arm and felt her hair rise up. Nuzzling her neck, he kept a weather eye on Xander, surreptitiously blocking Gia’s body with his own.
His father made a sound of disgust. “You always let your glands drive you instead of your ambition. I want that ship, Zan.”
Zan shrugged and cupped Gia’s breast. “I lost it in a gaming hell a few decades back, on a space station in the Golith System to a fellow called Finn.”
“You bet it on a game of chance?” Xander was outraged. Shoving Gia aside he focused all his fury on Zan. “Do you have any idea what that ship could do?”
Until recently, Zan hadn’t, at least not the full extent. “The damn thing couldn’t communicate without driving people crazy. It was a worthless scow and I was glad to be rid of it. My woman here had a fine ship of her own, ten times as maneuverable as that beast and didn’t need refilling half as often. It was close quarters, but we rubbed along just fine.”
So much depended on how much his father knew. Xander’s biggest weakness was that he believed his son to be nothing but a skirt-chasing idiot. He’d given Zan immortality when he turned thirty-five but had been unable to interest him in leading an army or ruling the people of Hosta. Zan had become proficient at hiding secrets, like Isabella, and playing the part he’d been cast. Soft, weak willed, easily lead around by the dick.
Questions bounced around in his head. Did his father know he’d taken the living ship in retaliation for Isabella’s death? Would he believe that five decades wouldn’t have had an impact on Zan? Had he received reports of his son’s activities? Zan knew he built a fortress out of lies and a strong wind would send it tumbling to ruins.
“Why did you return?” Xander tapped his finger against the cane he carried. Zan doubted it was to aid his father’s movement. More likely some kind of weapon was hidden within. Even surrounded by his loyal guards, his dear old dad took no risks with his safety.
“To make peace.” The words didn’t choke him the way they ought to. “Isabella would be dead by now anyhow, or stooped and gnarled with age. You were right to deny her immortality.”
Forgive me, my love.
“And what about this one? Do you seek her immortality?”
Zan grinned and shook his head. “Fuck, no. I like a woman learning how to please me, is all. This one has some serious talent, and with her shielding I can come in any part of her I want and not worry about it. Eventually I’ll get bored and move on. Earth’s full of ripe, juicy morsels. You want her when I’m through?”
Gia held her breath. He couldn’t risk signaling her in any way. Trust me, babe. I’m playing for our lives here.
His father’s eyes narrowed in suspicion, and for a heart-stopping moment Zan worried he’d given himself away somehow, that his story was too incredible.
Xander moved forward and pulled him into his arms. “My son. It’s good to have you back.”
“It’s good to be back,” Zan lied with the utmost conviction as he returned his father’s embrace.
Gia paced the tight confines of the cargo vehicle that Zan had shoved her in uncaringly. And naked. Even if she did manage to escape, she’d die of exposure in the frozen Northlands. Bastard son of a bastard. She slammed her fist ineffectually against the side of her metal prison, then turned her back and slid down the wall.
She didn’t know what to think. Her cheek still stung from where Zan had hit her. He’d lied about her germ shield’s abilities though, and she knew it was in order to save her life from his father, the madman who would see her raped to death. If Gia hadn’t witnessed that scene firsthand in her dreams, she wouldn’t understand her lover’s most recent transformation, especially when he’d offered her to his father when he was done with her.
He must know she’d rather die.
Fatigue swept over her and she fought sleep, but the transport droned like white noise and the journey seemed unending.
Curling into a ball, Gia finally allowed herself to relax into sleep.
The scene before her made no sense. She stood in a bright room with walls of windows overlooking some of the lushest and most elaborate gardens she’d ever beheld. She was Zan again, of that she was sure, but she stood in a room hidden behind a veil and watched another Zan having sex with a man. The cock in her pants twitched as the other Zan prepped Duffy—somehow she knew that was the stranger’s name—for fucking, gently rubbing lube over the other man’s exposed hole as he bent over the bed.
That’s not how it would be, thought the Zan that Gia inhabited. I could never be gentle with him, could never really come inside him. Can’t come inside anyone.
A part of him envied the holographic version of himself, created to ensure Duffy’s loyalty, to pleasure him for one afternoon and keep the fire of hope burning. It was a wicked thing to do, giving his second-in-command a taste of what happily ever after could be. Zan knew better than anyone how much more it hurt when the life he wanted most dissolved before his eyes, lost forever.
Yet he’d paid handsomely to do it anyway, to let Duffy sample his fantasy of the two of them living together, loving together, somewhere bright and sunny, far from the cold reality of space and the pirate life. He watched as his other cock sank into Duffy’s passage, as his other hand gripped the man’s shaft and stroked. The look on Duffy’s face was sheer bliss. Whether he believed the fantasy or not, the moment of rapture with his captain fucking him for pleasure instead of duty would stay with him forever.
He heard himself say, “No one else, Duff. I want no one else like this.” The words sent Duffy into orgasm, his cock spurting as he groaned his release. The hologram released his lover’s cock, pressed him into the mattress, and fucked him hard. “Now you’re mine.”
A taste of another life, the real Zan thought as both men, one real, one imaginary, came hard, then collapsed together on the bed. Ignoring his own throbbing shaft, he watched the health monitor, waiting to be sure Duffy was asleep before he let the program end.
Zan strode into the room, injected Duffy with a sedative, and proceeded to clean him up and redress him. So he thought it was all a dream.
Then it was just a matter of time, waiting for the drug to wear off. Duffy awoke, completely disoriented. “You all right?”
“Zan?”
“That’s Captain to you.”
“Captain?”
Zan clapped him on the shoulder, a brotherly gesture. “Yeah, you’ll be all right. You were robbed. Lucky for you space station security scanned your thumbprint and called the ship.”
Duffy checked his pockets. His coins were gone, safely stowed back in his bunk. Zan had seen to every detail.
“But the planet, my garden . . .” Duffy clung to the make-believe reality he’d loved. Watching him accept that it was gone forever was almost too much to bear.
Zan whistled and another crewman rushed in from the corridor. “Help him back to the ship and stow him in his quarters. Looks like he was drugged with something. I’m going to contact the security staff to see if we can locate the thief, maybe get his money back.”
Zan waited until Duffy disappeared into the crowd before returning to the gypsy woman’s rooms. He drew his pulse pistol and aimed it at the secret nook. “Give me the recording.”
“You are an excellent actor.” She handed over the disk. “One would think you really cared for this man, setting up such an elaborate seduction.”
“It never happened.” Zan dropped the disk and crushed it beneath his boot. Then took aim and fired at the control panel.
The old woman shrieked in outrage. “My holoprograms! You’ve destroyed them all!”
Zan tossed a bag of coins on her. “This ought to cover the damages. You breathe one word of what went on here today and I will kill you.”
He turned, but she gripped his arm. “Why would you do this?”
Zan shrugged her away. “I could
say something poignant like ‘Every man deserves a taste of his heart’s desire,’ or some other rot, but the truth is, I just secured his loyalty for life and all it took was an afternoon’s time and a few coins. I’m the real winner here.”
Her eyes narrowed on him. “You are heartless.”
“That’s what they tell me.” Zan set off in search of a woman for the night.
Gia awoke with a start, her heart in her throat, her breath coming out in sharp pants. She was aroused, her cunt wet from watching Zan, or a version of him, fuck Duffy. She’d always delighted in watching two men together. They were so rough with each other, and she liked learning how they craved being touched to bring the most pleasure.
But then the rest of the dream came back to her and she felt sick. How could Zan—the real Zan whose memories she shared—have done that? He toyed with Duffy’s feelings, let him think that maybe someday that would be their future. Duffy obviously didn’t know about the magical memory spooge, otherwise he would have expected to share Zan’s memories, the way she herself did.
Other parts of the dream made no sense at all. What did his comment about ‘for pleasure instead of duty’ mean? Had Zan screwed Duffy? She’d experienced his longing, but she didn’t know if that was directed toward the man, the sex, or the tender scene he couldn’t have.
One thing was for sure, she sure as hell couldn’t trust him. The way he’d nailed her up against the bathroom wall, as though he cared about her, like he might even be falling in love with her. Well, it was all just a game to him, a trick to ensure her loyalty, like he’s done to Duffy.
The old woman who owned the holosuite had been right; Zan was an excellent actor. Gia best not let herself forget it.
The vehicle slowed to a stop, and she pushed herself to her feet, tossed her hair out of her eyes, and got ready to get if the getting was good. She heard voices, deep and grisly, and though she couldn’t make out the words, they sounded familiar. Had Fenton and some of his men come with them?
The door was opened and the brilliant sunlight practically blinded her. She moved toward the door, raising a hand above her face to shield her eyes. The air that swirled in was warm and dry, a blissful change from the continuous cold, especially in her unclothed state.
“Have a nice sleep?” Zan held out a hand to her. After what she’d seen him do to Duffy, what she suspected he’d done to her, she wanted to scratch his golden eyes out. Instead she made a noncommittal noise he could take any way he liked.
“Come here and let me help you down.” He beckoned her with one hand.
Stepping to the edge of the compartment, she reached her hand down, expecting him pull her into his arms, but instead he yanked her over his shoulder. The impact of his firm shoulder knocked the wind out of her and she panicked, fighting for air.
“Hold still there, angel.” He slapped her on her bare backside. And started to move off with her dangling over his shoulder like some kind of human shawl. “I know you’re eager for playtime, but at least let me get you to our rooms before you start squirmin’ all over me.”
A few of the men laughed and she looked up, indignantly, her eyes meeting a pair of icy blue ones. So, Fenton was here. Had he betrayed them? The cool, assessing way he studied them gave away nothing.
With her eyes finally adjusted to the light, Gia took in her surroundings. They had stopped on a hill, overlooking a valley below. They were in some sort of desert city. People milled around what looked like a marketplace, buying, selling, trading, going about life as usual. Higher up, what looked like military barracks swarmed with uniformed men, broken occasionally by the colorful, sheer garb of a camp follower.
Craning around, she gasped at the grand citadel actually carved out of the craggy mountainside. Arching windows with attached shutters stood open, like thousands of eyes watching them. Red-gold pillars flanked each landing on the massive staircase Zan climbed up and up to the mouth of the palace.
Crossing the threshold, Zan didn’t even pause as he strode purposefully away. It would almost be romantic, if he wasn’t a total barbarian. Gia caught a glimpse of the sand-colored foyer that seemed to soar up into infinity and then it was gone as they turned down a narrow corridor.
“Where are you taking me?” she asked.
This time when his hand touched her backside, it was more of a heated caress. His answer, when it came, was low and made her shiver. “To my rooms, of course. I’m hungry for some more avenging angel.”
She wanted to tell him to go fuck himself, but she knew her best chance for survival meant that she had to stick close to Zan.
She didn’t have to like it.
14
Zan knew Gia was spitting mad by the time the doors closed to his rooms. He’d humiliated her, treated her like a possession, and he was prepared to deal with the fallout now that they were alone. The indignity he’d heaped on her had all been for show, but all she knew was that he’d thrown her naked into the back of the transport meant for toting luggage and left her alone on the journey from the northern base to the capital city. He had no doubt that the second he put her down she’d go for his eyes. Or maybe his nuts.
The entire trip had taken less than three hours by sonic transport. Xander was the only person in the Hosta System to own such a vehicle. If they could steal it, no one would be able to catch up with them. Of course, it wasn’t meant for interstellar travel, so they’d be back to the run-and-hide game. Right now, Xander had accepted him back into the fold. The man was lonely and Zan was his blood. He believed his son had chosen to return, had said as much on the long ride while rehashing the glory of their past exploits. Zan could do nothing to make him the slightest bit suspicious.
His father and half his army believed he was in here fucking Gia. His gaze took in the room, all the places that might have hidden cameras. Xander liked to watch, and his flesh and blood wasn’t off limits. There would be no conspiring with her in here.
The bathroom was a different story. The walls were solid, and no decorative statues and awnings meant fewer places to hide any spy equipment. Instead of setting Gia down, he strode through the outer room and the bedroom, turned the shower on, and plopped her down. The falling water would distort their voices to the listening devices in the other room.
Gia opened her mouth, but he clapped a hand over it. Her cheek was swollen from where he hit her, her perfect skin marred from his blow, and guilt flayed him. Turning away, he searched every inch of the bathroom to ensure their privacy. Given time, he could build a frequency disrupter to muddle the signals in the outer room, but this would do for now.
Squaring his shoulders, he prepared for the hit as he said, “We’re alone.”
Gia didn’t budge. He waited, unwilling to lower his guard until she lashed out at him, but she just stared unblinkingly. Minutes passed and the silence dragged on, making him itch.
He stepped closer reached for her injured cheek. By tomorrow it would be purple and blue and then fade to green and yellow as it healed. The thought of seeing it for days made him nuts. He was such a bastard, he deserved her wrath. “Come on, baby, let me have it. I hit you and humiliated you. Punish me.”
“You did it to save my life,” she said tonelessly. “I know that.”
“I’d give anything to go back to that other shower, before he showed up and ruined it all.” He’d known heaven inside her body, holding her in his arms and sharing himself with her, every last bit.
“Well, we can’t,” she said crisply, and turned her back on him, stepped into the running water and washing the grit and dust from her skin. “All we can do is move forward from here. What happens next?”
Her dismissal made him ache. Before he knew what he was doing he stepped into the shower, fully clothed and dropped to his knees. Wrapping his arms around her waist he rested his cheek against her soft belly, ignoring her protests. He just needed to hold her for a minute, to remember why he couldn’t drop the charade and die like a man.
She was so soft unde
r his whiskered cheek, so warm and alive. He would do everything in his power to keep her that way. But he’d hurt her. Struck her as part of an act, exposed her beautiful body to a camp full of men. Treated her like a thing, his new favorite toy, when she was so much more than that. He always hurt the people he cared about.
Always.
“I need you to forgive me.” He didn’t turn to look up at her, afraid to see refusal forming on her face. Hope was a powerful force, and he wanted it on his side for just a little longer. “For everything I’ve done, everything I will do.”
She didn’t speak, and he held his breath as the water beat around them. Her sweet, feminine scent engulfed him and he gripped her tighter, afraid to let her go.
A hand ran through his hair. She traced down the braid, stroking it softly, lovingly almost, before pulling the tie free. Then, working slowly, she unfurled the locks until his hair hung down his back. He’d take it; whatever her tender gesture meant, he would relish it.
Letting out a shuddering breath he turned and kissed her right above the indent of her navel. Her hands worked through his hair slowly, steadily, and he took that as permission to kiss her lower, but her other hand cupped his chin.
“No. We need to strategize, figure a way off this rock.”
“I’m working on it,” he promised her. “If we can contact my ship, let them know where we are, they’ll come for us.”
Her eyes narrowed and her posture changed. “You mean Duffy will come for you.”
Zan could see it in her green eyes, the knowledge of what he’d done to Duffy. Shit. Of all the memories he didn’t want her to have, that one was right up there at the top of the list. How could he explain it when he barely understood the reasons driving his actions?
“I’ve known Duffy a long time.”
She stepped back, out of his reach. “By known I’m guessing you mean in the biblical sense?”
Frustration welled in him. “Strictly speaking, but it wasn’t because I wanted to.” At least not at first.
No Mercy Page 11