“Me head now.” Silas danced around excitedly.
“Okay, you reckon you could help me with that?” Nash picked up the smallest perfectly round ball in one hand and Silas in the other. “Now, when I put it up there, you get it set just right, okay?”
“Tay,” Silas answered.
Hope slipped away to her old bedroom, the one she’d shared with her husband, Wes, for more than forty years. It was still like she’d left it last spring when she moved into the ranch foreman’s small house and let the grandchildren have the big house. Memories, good and bad, flashed through her mind as she sat down in the wooden rocking chair beside the window to watch the kids all play in the snow.
“I don’t regret a single night that I had in this room,” she said. “We had a good life, Wes.”
Someone knocked on the door and she called out, “Come on in.”
The door swung open and Henry filled the space. “I don’t reckon I’d better. It wouldn’t look too good. I was just wonderin’ if maybe you’d like to put on a coat and go for a walk in the snow with me. We wouldn’t be gone long.”
“Nonsense. Leave the door open and come on in here. There’s two chairs and a lovely view of the children out the window.”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“We are past seventy, Henry. I don’t give a rat’s ass what people think.” She smiled and pointed to the other rocking chair.
He sat down and crossed one long leg over the other. “Do you ever wonder about our lives as teenagers if we’d had cell phones and could text each other?”
“I find myself just wishing I’d had your phone number the past decade,” she said.
“Hey, I’ve been wonderin’. Did you set that Christmas tree on fire? Seems like it all was too much for fate. You knew that Rosalie’s old house was a nightmare. You figured that Valerie would want to see her granddaughter so badly that she’d offer Carlene a place to live. So?” Henry drawled.
“I did not,” Hope giggled. “But if I’d thought about it, I might have.”
Henry chuckled. “Did you save most of Carlene’s things?”
“All of it, including the kitten that Jace took over there,” Hope said. “I’m going to send you some pictures and videos this afternoon. The kids are having such a wonderful time out there in the snow.”
“If we were out there, we could make snow angels. I remember when we did that as kids.”
“We were younger then. At our age, it would take a forklift to get us up out of the snow,” she said.
“Speak for yourself, woman. I still run a mile on the beach every morning,” he said. “And I know that you’re still able to operate the ranch equipment and probably sit a horse real well too.”
“Sold off the horses years ago. Nowadays we get around faster on four-wheelers. If you’ll come back in the spring, we’ll get a couple out and go for a ride,” she said.
“Maybe we’ll have a picnic at Hope Springs.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“Or in the loft of your old barn.”
“We can’t be at the barn anymore. Nash and Kasey might catch us and then I’d have to make an honest woman out of you.”
“Henry Thomas, you are flirting!”
“I just might be, but now I’m going to get out of here and at least sit on the porch a little bit. I might not see snow like this again for a long time,” he said.
“Enjoy it,” she said, and kept rocking.
She glanced over at a photograph of Valerie and Wes and went back to the window, where she could see Kasey’s kids looking at Nash the same way. Tilly was having a wonderful time. Right now she only saw Jace as a friend, but give it a few weeks and all that could change.
Lila, Carlene, and Kasey were all outside now, taking pictures as the snowman got his final touches. Sticks for arms, buttons for his nose and mouth, and a carrot for a nose. The scarf, hat, and red-handled shovel made for pretty photos but Hope’s favorite was still Tilly spinning around out there in the snow on Saturday morning, catching flakes on her tongue.
Her eyes went back to the collection of pictures that she’d left on the dresser. One of her and Wes on their twenty-fifth anniversary in a pretty gold frame.
“No, that one is in a silver frame. I took it with me when I moved. That is our thirtieth.” She rose to her feet, picked it up, and the number 30 was on top of the cake in the midst of a pretty floral arrangement. For the first time she noticed Henry standing in a group of people over to the left and his expression said he’d rather be anywhere but at that reception.
“But his mother wanted to be there and he had to bring her,” Hope whispered.
Until that moment, she’d never realized how painful it must’ve been for Henry to live next door for all those years. When she did think about him, she’d figured that she’d broken his heart and he’d found lots of other women to take her place even if he didn’t ever marry.
Now you have a second chance. Don’t waste it.
“Granny, where are you?” Lila yelled down the hall.
“In my old bedroom,” Hope hollered.
Lila and Carlene both poked their heads in the door.
“We’re fixin’ to make snow ice cream and we need you to come tell us your secret recipe,” Lila said.
“Tilly has never had it but I remember yours being so good when I was dating Jace.” Carlene recognized that expression on Hope’s face. It didn’t matter if a woman was eighteen or eighty—there was a look in her eyes when she was troubled about a man.
“I’ll be glad to stir up a bowl for y’all. Tell Jace to bring in a big pan full of clean snow.” Hope rose to her feet and looped her arm through Carlene’s.
“Are you okay?” Carlene asked.
“I’m fine, honey. Just revisiting old memories.”
“Old memories are good, but making new ones is even better,” Lila said. “And I’m speaking from experience. We can hang on to the old but we can make new ones that are just as precious. I read a quote that said something about when opportunity knocks, invite it in and feed it chocolate cake because it’s easier to deal with it right then than it is to chase after it when it’s a mile down the road.”
“That’s pretty wise for a young kid.” Hope squeezed her arm gently.
“Granny, I’m thirty. That’s well past the young kid stage,” Lila laughed.
“To me, that’s still a baby.”
“Hey, Granny!” Tilly yelled as she rushed into the house with the rest of the kids. “Look at our snowman. Isn’t it gorgeous? And he’s so big! Me and Emma and Jace made the biggest part.”
Hope squeezed Carlene’s arm. “Here’s to letting go of the past and to all the new beginnings in the future.”
“Amen,” Carlene whispered.
Chapter Eleven
Usually Carlene dropped her shoulder bag on the sofa in the living room when she went into the house but for some reason, she’d taken it to the bedroom the day that Aunt Rosalie’s house caught on fire. When she opened it that Sunday evening, she got a strong whiff of smoke as she strung the contents out on the dining room table. It was later than she liked to get started on getting all the papers graded, but Tilly had wanted to talk about every single detail of the whole day and it had taken a while for her to wind down. Now she was reading in her bedroom and Carlene was staring off into space rather than getting busy with spelling tests and history quizzes.
Jace slid a cup of hot tea over her shoulder and set it down between two stacks of paper. “Need some help?”
“Got any motivation hiding in your hip pocket?” She picked up the tea and warmed her hands with the mug. “Getting started is the hard part. After the first ten minutes, it usually goes pretty fast.”
He took a step to the side and massaged her shoulders. “Who would have thought we’d be where we are today? You a teacher and me runnin’ the ranch? We had different ideas that last summer we were together.”
“You were going off to the big city, maybe Houston or Austin for an
office job after college.” She moved her hair to one side so he’d have better access. “I think you missed your calling. You should have been a masseur.”
He expertly rubbed a knot from the base of her neck and then bent forward and kissed the soft part, sending ripples of warmth through her whole body. “And you were going to be a scientist and work for NASA if I remember right.”
“So why aren’t you a CEO of some firm?” she asked.
“I figured out real quick that I didn’t like being inside when we did some job observations. And you?”
“Teaching lets me be out of school when Tilly is so I can spend more time with her.”
“Unlike your parents?” He used his thumbs to work a knot out of her shoulder.
“Exactly. I’m surprised that you remember that.”
“I remember everything about you.” He moved to the other side of the table and pulled out a chair. As he eased down into it, his long legs brushed against hers and she whipped them off to one side.
“I didn’t really have a father who was around much, so I figured Tilly didn’t need one.” A lump formed in her throat. A vision of her father’s face when she told him she was pregnant passed through her mind. It was more than indifference or even disappointment; it was pure disgust. She’d braced herself that day and didn’t shed a single tear, not even when she was sent to live with her sister in California. But after the fire, the memorial, and all that had happened, her emotions were running high and she couldn’t shake that image of her father’s face. All the strength she’d had that day when her mother put her on the plane for California and the determination that had held her together disappeared. She laid her head on the table and sobbed uncontrollably.
He reached across the table and laid his hands on hers. “I’m here for both of you, Carlene. I promise I’ll be a daddy and not a father.”
She raised her head. Uncontrollable tears still rolled down her cheeks like a small rushing river. “You can make that kind of promise?”
“I can, Carlene.” His eyes were floating in tears. “Leaving Tilly in the road and expecting to find you dead in that house showed me exactly what you two mean to me.”
“I believe you,” she said.
Jace took a quick shower and slipped on a terry robe before he hurried across the hall to his bedroom. Throwing himself back on the bed, he stared at the shadows on the ceiling. Ever changing as clouds chased across the moon, they seemed to echo his mood that evening and his feelings. Nothing was steady and everything was unsettled.
He flipped on a lamp to chase away the shadows and picked up a book he’d been reading from the nightstand. It couldn’t keep his attention, so he laid it aside and put earbuds in to listen to music. That always made him sleepy and he had hundreds of songs on the player. Randy Travis’s deep voice singing “Diggin’ Up Bones,” which said that he was resurrecting memories of a love that had died.
“Dammit!” He turned off the music.
Dressing in a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and a white tank, he marched down to the dining room. She glanced up from the last stack of papers on the table and smiled.
“Okay, let’s do this and get it done,” he said.
“What?”
“Tilly was so happy today at Hope Springs and I want her to always be that way.”
Carlene finished the last paper and put it in her bag, zipped it shut, and stood up. “And that has to do with what?”
Jace crossed his arms over his chest. “She told me that you looked at that old place south of town and that it’s just not fit for you to live in. I don’t want you to even look at other houses. I want you to live right here.”
“Tell you what I’ll do. I’ll take a look at that one for sale that’s close to the school but if it’s a no-go, we’ll stay here until your friend’s place is ready. How’s that for a compromise?”
“If it’s the best I can get, I’ll take it, but I’m really ready…”
She marched around the table and poked him in the chest. “I appreciate that you are willing and ready to be a father—”
“Daddy!” He covered her finger with his whole hand. “You had a father. I had a daddy and that’s what I’m going to be and I don’t want Tilly living six miles from the ranch.”
“We’re both too emotional tonight to make a decision like this. Let’s compromise. I won’t look for another place for a week and see how she adjusts.”
“Fair enough.” He gazed into her eyes.
The tip of her tongue darted out and moistened her lips. He brushed a strand of hair back from her face and lowered his lips to hers. Her arms went up around his neck, sending sparks dancing around them like they were standing under a shower of Fourth of July sparklers.
He slipped an arm under her knees and another across her back, scooped her up, and carried her to the sofa, where he sank down in the cushions with her in his lap. The kisses deepened and his heart pounded in unison with hers, doing double time as he slipped his hand under her shirt and deftly unfastened her bra. Massaging her bare back sent him into instant arousal but he wanted to take this slow.
His hands skimmed her ribs, but his lips didn’t leave hers. She moaned slightly at his touch. Then her fingertips tangled themselves in his dark hair and the other hand found its way up under his shirt to twirl his chest hair. He stood up to take her to his bedroom and she wrapped her legs around his waist. They were near the bottom step when Tilly yelled from the top of the staircase.
“Mama, there’s a spider on the ceiling in my room. Come kill it.”
Jace set Carlene down and took the steps two at a time. “Where is it? I’ll take care of it for you.”
“Damn spider.” Carlene held on to the newel post and panted for a couple of minutes before she put a foot on the first step.
“Mama,” Tilly singsonged from the hall. “It was big and black and hairy, and I want to sleep in your bed tonight.”
“I’m on my way. Is it dead?” she called out.
“Jace took care of it.” Tilly met her halfway down and grabbed her hand. “He says that it’s the first one he’s seen in this house in years, so I bet it caught a ride with us from that old place. But I can’t sleep in my room tonight.”
“I looked under the bed and in every corner and there’s no spiders anywhere,” Jace said from the top of the stairs.
“I still better sleep with my mama tonight,” Tilly said.
“Want me to get your bear?” Jace asked.
“No, I can get it. I’ll get her and get out real quick. Rella don’t know you, so she might be afraid if you grab her.” Tilly let go of Carlene’s hand and made her way into the room on her tiptoes.
“Sorry,” Carlene said softly.
“Not as much as I am,” he whispered, and brushed a quick kiss across her lips.
“Who’s mad?” Tilly brought her pink bear and a stuffed gator. “Rella might get lonesome, so Gator needs to sleep with us too.”
“And the kitten?” Jace asked.
“Spiders don’t scare them and she’s asleep on her pillow. I don’t want to wake her up.” Tilly yawned.
“Well, then good night, ladies.”
“Night.” Tilly took her animals into the bedroom and then called out, “Thank you, Jace.”
“You are welcome,” he said, and then lowered his voice to a whisper just for Carlene’s ears. “And don’t tell me about colicky babies. An eight-year-old can put a kink in a night just as well.”
She laid a hand on his arm, took a step forward so that her mouth was right against his ear. “Just think how many sleepless nights she’ll cause as a teenager if she’s anything at all like we were.”
“Holy crap!” he mumbled.
A smile covered her face. “Welcome to fatherhood.”
He was still standing in the middle of the hallway with a stunned expression when she gently closed her bedroom door.
“Mama, do we have hurricanes in Texas?” Tilly was busy getting Rella and Gator situated on h
er side of the bed.
“No, we do not.” Carlene put emphasis on the last word. There was no way she was going to tell her daughter about tornadoes at that hour of the night. She ran the big bathtub full of water and sank down into it. She might have turned on the jets but they made so much noise that she couldn’t hear Tilly; besides, Carlene needed quietness to surround her so she could think.
She’d been in love with Jace in high school—that much she was sure of and had a daughter to prove it. But what was tonight? Her brow furrowed into dozens of wrinkles as she analyzed her feelings and what the consequences could have been if she’d gone to bed with him.
Carlene flipped the lever to drain the tub and stepped out. Wrapping a towel around her body, she checked her reflection in the mirror. “What do you think, Miss Varner? Do we settle for friends with benefits? Do we even want more than that?”
Her reflection didn’t offer a bit of help, so she turned away from it, got into her pajamas, and went to bed. She kissed Tilly on the forehead and shut her eyes but sleep was a long time coming that night. Her hormones and desires were still on high alert, needing fulfillment like they’d never needed since Jace Dawson had been in her life. She’d had a total of three dates since Tilly had been born, and in every instance she’d been bored out of her mind and couldn’t wait to get home. But not with Jace…a few kisses and touches and she couldn’t control herself.
The next morning, Jace had breakfast ready when she made it to the kitchen. “Good mornin’. How’d you sleep last night?”
“Not so well,” she answered honestly. “How about you?”
“Horrible. What are we doing, Carlene?” he asked.
“Taking it a day at a time, I suppose, since that’s all we can do.”
“We proved that the chemistry is still there between us.” He moved across the floor and drew her to his chest.
“Good mornin’. Do I smell bacon?” Tilly rubbed sleep from her eyes. Rella was tucked under her arm. “Gator was still sleepy, so I covered him up and didn’t wake him.”
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